Chapter 29 – Cole-Present #3
Eventually, I feel her breathing slow. Her body becomes still against mine, her head resting once again on my chest. I glance down at her, and for a moment, I’m lost in the simple beauty of this moment.
The way her hair falls around her shoulders, the way her chest rises and falls in the most peaceful rhythm.
I can’t help myself. I pull out the small box from my jacket pocket, the box that’s been burning a hole in my chest all day.
It feels like the right time, like everything is falling into place.
I open it slowly, revealing the ring I’ve been holding onto, the one I’ve been dreaming about giving her for years.
I look at her sleeping face for a moment, taking in the peacefulness of her expression, and then I whisper the words I’ve been carrying for so long. “I got your ring.”
I know she’s asleep, but I have to say it. I need her to know. The ring is just a symbol of everything I want to give her, everything I want us to have. It’s the promise that I’m in this forever.
She stirs slightly, murmuring in her sleep, but doesn’t wake up.
Her hand tightens around mine, and I smile, tucking the ring back in my pocket for now.
There will be a time for it, a time to give it to her properly.
But for now, this moment, this boat, this peaceful lake—they’re enough.
For the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I rest my chin on top of her head, watching the sun sink lower, the water reflecting its colors back to the sky. This is it. This is what I’ve been waiting for. And I will not mess it up. Not this time.
“Love you,” I whisper, my voice barely above a breath. “I love you, Kenna.”
The boat glides slowly through the water, and the sunset casts a warm, amber glow across the lake.
I can feel the gentle sway beneath me, the steady pulse of the boat mimicking the steady rhythm of my heart.
With her head on my chest, Kenna snuggles near me as the gentle breeze ruffles her hair.
She’s quiet for a moment, her fingers tracing small circles on my hand, but I can feel the weight of her thoughts.
She’s been carrying something heavy for a while and now she’s finally free.
When she finally speaks, her voice is low, almost hesitant. “You know, Cohen saved me.”
Her words catch me off guard, and I turn my head slightly to look at her. She’s staring out at the water, her face soft but pensive. “Saved you?” I ask, trying to understand what she’s getting at. The thought of her needing saving doesn’t sit well with me. Not when she’s always been so strong.
Kenna gives a small, bittersweet smile as she looks up at me, her eyes soft but knowing.
“You were gone, Cole. You were in prison, and I did not know when or if you were coming back. Every day was a new heartache. I loved you so much, but you weren’t there.
And that was harder than I ever could have imagined. ”
Her words’ impact settles in my chest, and the guilt I’ve held tightens.
I’ve been thinking about the years I was locked up and couldn’t be with her and Cohen.
I’ve carried that burden like a shadow. Quietly, I say, “I’m sorry,” my voice thick with regret.
“I wasn’t there for you. You deserved someone to hold you, to keep you safe.
The man you needed…I should have been him. ”
Kenna shifts, sitting up slightly, and her eyes meet mine.
The tenderness in her gaze softens the guilt that still gnaws at me, but I can’t shake the feeling that I failed her, failed Cohen, when they needed me the most. “You don’t have to apologize anymore, Cole,” she says, her voice firm but gentle.
“What you went through…I get it. And yeah, it hurt. It hurt in ways I didn’t think I could survive. But Cohen…Cohen saved me.”
I’m quiet for a moment, unsure of what she means. My heart clenches in my chest. “How?”
Kenna turns fully toward me now, her hand reaching out to hold mine, the warmth of her fingers grounding me.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know what I was going to do.
I was lost without you, Cole. I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep going, how I was going to raise a child without you by my side.
But then I felt him inside of me, and it was like…
I had a reason to breathe again. Like he was the one thing in my life I could hold on to. He was my reason not to give up.”
I feel the lump in my throat tighten as I listen to her, my chest constricting with the pain of all the time I lost, the moments I could never get back.
I should’ve been there for her. Should’ve been there for them both.
But hearing her say this, hearing her say that Cohen was her anchor…
it hits me in ways I can’t quite describe.
“I didn’t think I could do it on my own,” she continues, her voice steady despite the rawness in her words.
“But Cohen gave me the strength to keep going. He gave me hope. Every day, he reminded me that there was still something to fight for, something to live for. He was everything. He is everything.”
Tears well up in my eyes, and I swallow hard, trying to keep my composure. “I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve been the one to help carry that weight with you.”
Kenna’s expression softens, and she squeezes my hand gently, like she’s trying to reassure me without words.
“You couldn’t be there, Cole. I know that.
But you’re here now. And that’s all that matters.
You’re here, and Cohen…he needed you. And now you’re giving him everything you didn’t get to back then. ”
I look down at our joined hands, the warmth of her touch grounding me in the moment.
Cohen needed me then, too. And I couldn’t be there for him.
But hearing Kenna’s words now, I realize that I still have a chance.
A chance to be the father Cohen deserves, the partner Kenna has always needed.
And maybe I can make up for everything I lost.
I let out a slow, steady breath, the weight of the past still heavy but easier to bear. “I don’t know if I can ever make up for what I missed. Those years are gone, but Kenna…I swear, I’m never leaving you again.”
Kenna smiles softly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
She leans in, pressing her forehead to mine, and I close my eyes, letting the moment sink into my bones.
The pain of the past is still there, but it’s fading, replaced by something new.
Something that feels like hope. Hope for the future. Hope for the family we’re building now.
“I know,” she whispers, her breath warm against my skin. “I know you’re not. And that’s all I need.”
We stay like that for a while, just breathing, just holding onto each other in the quiet of the lake. I know the past will always be a part of us, a shadow that lingers, but it doesn’t have to define us anymore. We’re here now. And that’s enough.
Eventually, the silence is broken by the sound of the boat gently cutting through the water, the world still and perfect, just for us. And in that moment, I realize that maybe, just maybe, we’ve found our way back to each other. To the life we should have had all along.
“Cohen saved you, huh?” I ask softly, the corners of my mouth lifting just slightly. “Guess that means I owe him one.”
Kenna laughs softly, a sound that fills the air around us. “I think he’ll be just fine with that.”
I squeeze her hand, my heart full, and I know in that instant that I’m going to make sure Cohen and Kenna know every day how much they mean to me. I’m not leaving them again. Never again.