Chapter 10 Forest
FOREST
By the time I exited Keith’s office, JJ and Sheldon had fallen silent and were staring out the front window.
I didn’t bother saying anything, outside of thank you and shaking JJ’s hand before leaving.
Keith had told me I pretty much had the job, but he had to talk it over with JJ since it wasn’t only his decision.
I should have been happy. A new path was opening up for me. But I couldn’t shake whatever was wrong with Sheldon. It shouldn’t have affected me like it did.
He dropped me off at home with a tight smile and left.
That was days ago. I hadn’t seen him since.
Hartley said there was some shit going down, and Sheldon was needed to assist. The details weren’t necessary, nor were they any of my business.
That didn’t help me sleep at night, wondering if Sheldon was okay.
I’d be damned if I fucked up a second time and wasn’t there if he was hurt again.
He wasn’t, thankfully. At least, not that I’d heard. Hartley would have told me.
Keith had called me on Friday to formally offer me the job.
They were paying me more than the position originally was going to.
With my experience, they were hoping I could advance their systems and take them to the next level.
I didn’t know if I could, but I’d try. They offered me great benefits.
While the pay wasn’t what I’d made at my previous job, it beat nothing.
It would easily cover my low rent and other bills.
It was Saturday night. I should have been out celebrating getting a new job. Instead, I was home. There wasn’t an urge in me to drink. If I went to a bar or club, the temptation would be in my face. I could resist it, but didn’t want to dance or interact with strangers, so why bother?
The lights were low and the TV was on. Lounging on the couch should have helped me relax. I should be asleep, trying to get myself back onto a regular schedule. Switching into night owl mode came easily to me. Getting into the swing of waking up early was another story.
A knock on the door startled me. The only people who visited me were my brother, Vail, and those who worked for Jordan. Without a call or text, I had no clue who was here. It set me on edge.
The clock read midnight as I walked quietly to the door with my phone in my hand. I didn’t have 911 on the screen, ready to call. I had the main security desk at Jordan’s building. They’d get here faster and do more damage than any cop would.
Through the peephole, I saw Sheldon looking out over the small balcony. I opened the door and expected him to turn around, but he didn’t.
“Sheldon?” I asked softly, stepping toward him.
He glanced over his shoulder, the light above the door revealing dark circles under his eyes. “Were you asleep?”
“No. You look awful.”
“Thanks. My ego needed that boost.”
“Come inside.” I moved out of the way so he could enter first. I closed and locked the door behind us. “What happened? Hart would have told me if you were hurt.”
A tiny smile lifted one side of his lips. “I wasn’t, just tired. We’ve been going nonstop. Jordan finally got the issue resolved. Now we’re on a two-day break to rest.”
“And you came here instead of crawling into bed and sleeping?” That had to mean something, right? Why would he visit me when he had a perfectly good place to rest at home?
“You’re aware I don’t sleep well.”
“But you do sleep. That’s what you need.”
He swayed on his feet. His eyelids drooped.
I was at his side in an instant, my arm wrapping around his waist. “Come on. I’m putting you to bed.”
“Don’t say things you don’t mean. My filter is non-existent at the moment.” He typically didn’t have one, except in my presence. I’d noticed even if he didn’t mean for me to.
“I can take the couch,” I told him as I walked with him into my bedroom.
There were clothes haphazardly thrown into the hamper in the corner. The sheets and comforter were askew on the bed. One pillow was on the floor. Fuck, it was a mess in here.
Sheldon eyed my bed before sitting on it. “It’s big enough for two. I don’t want you to sleep anywhere else.” A yawn stretched his lips as he kicked his shoes off, then fell backward. Luckily, he was already in shorts and a T-shirt, so at least he’d be comfortable. “Please.”
I should have been able to tell him the couch was fine. There was no resisting the pull to him. I was in way over my head, with no idea what the hell I was doing. I still crawled into bed beside him after I shut the TV off in the living room, set the alarm at the door, and turned out the lights.
Sheldon burrowed into the remaining pillow on the bed. I had grabbed the other from the floor and lay on my back, my eyes on the ceiling fan as it spun overhead.
“Forest?” he asked sleepily.
“Yeah?”
“What would you say if I told you I wanted to be more than your friend?”
My head snapped to the side so I could latch my gaze on his. For being as tired as he was, his eyes were open, watching me. I couldn’t see more than that due to the darkness in the room. “You… you want to be more?”
“If I’ve read you wrong, let me know. I can’t keep going back and forth, wondering if you want me or not. I’m so fucking torn up. Half the time, I pace the halls to keep from coming over here. It used to be because my mind wouldn’t settle. Then you arrived in Dremest and everything changed.”
“I… I…” How did I respond to that?
This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? To finally have this moment with Sheldon? Did it scare me? Absolutely. I had no clue what I was doing. I couldn’t get words out. There was so much going on inside me, I was in overload.
“Hey,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.” He was about to roll over when I turned toward him and reached for his arm, keeping him in place so we were face-to-face.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I’m trying to figure out how,” I responded honestly.
“Take your time. I’m in no rush.”
“You need sleep.”
“I’m suddenly very awake yet relaxed. Your bed is comfortable. It smells like you.” He nuzzled the pillow, not apologizing for how it looked. Some might think it was a step too far. I found it incredibly attractive. He liked my scent.
“I’m nervous around you,” I confessed, my eyes closing.
The words came more easily if I couldn’t see him.
“I’ve never been with a man before, and I’m not sure what to do.
I mean, I know it’s the same in some ways.
I just talk to you like I would anyone else, but you’re different in a good way.
You make me feel like I’m sixteen again, not sure how to talk to my crush. ”
“Your crush, huh?”
I opened my eyes and chuckled. “You know what I mean.”
“You’re interested in me then?”
“So much it scares me. This isn’t a situation where we date and see how it goes. You don’t feel like others have when I was into them. This feels bigger. Maybe it’s just me. I’m sorry for rambling.”
“Don’t apologize.” His hand lifted to my cheek, where he gently rested it, his fingers brushing over my scruff. Chills raced across my skin. “It feels bigger for me too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, Forest. Much, much bigger.”
I let out a breath, suddenly remembering I hadn’t brushed my teeth, and backed up, his hand falling from me.
“What happened?” he rushed to ask.
“Nothing. I’ll be right back.” I got out of bed and went into the bathroom, quickly brushing my teeth. Fuck, he probably thought he did something wrong with how I bolted from the room.
The door, which I hadn’t closed all the way, slowly opened, Sheldon heavily leaning against the doorframe. With the light from the bathroom on, I could really see him. His eyes were brighter, but those dark circles were prominent. His hair was loose, not quite to his shoulders.
The way his hip rested against the doorway was what drew my attention and held it. His shorts sat low at his waist, a sliver of skin showing where his shirt wasn’t pulled down all the way. I had to remember to keep brushing.
Sheldon watched me in the mirror until I was done and rinsed my mouth out. I turned, my ass against the counter. “Do you need a toothbrush? I have extras.”
“No, I brushed before I came here. Not in anticipation of anything. Just out of habit.”
“Okay.”
We watched each other, our eyes meeting, my body heating. I had no idea what I was doing or where we’d go from here; however, there was no doubting how much I desired him. Fear was there, an undercurrent keeping me from getting hard.
Sheldon pushed off the frame and walked closer, not stopping until he was a breath away, the warmth from his body radiating to mine. “I’d give up everything to taste your lips right now, but you’re not ready.”
“Says who?” I breathed. I was more than ready. This close, the fear began to dissipate. My dick most certainly was in charge as it began to harden.
He laughed deep and throaty. “I could wreck you, Forest, and would love every second of it.”
“Do it.”
His hand found the side of my neck, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. “Don’t tempt me, beautiful. I’m far too tired to be the man you need right now. Let’s go to bed. I want to hold you.”
My breath hitched. The last time I slept with a man in my bed was when Vail and I had sleepovers as kids. That felt like many lifetimes ago.
“I can stay on my side of the bed if you’d like,” Sheldon whispered.
“No.”
“Can I hold you?”
“If you don’t, I’ll be pissed.”
“I had it wrong. You’re going to be the one who wrecks me.”
“We could both be destroyed, but we’ll be okay as long as we’re in it together.”
Sheldon’s eyes slid halfway closed as he leaned in, his nose touching mine. “Don’t tease me, Forest. I have no restraint left. I’m a second away from pulling you into my arms and never letting go.”
I wanted to tell him to do just that. To hold me and confess how much he desired me.
I could say it back, say how I didn’t want anyone else.
But what if we did this, and I didn’t like it?
What if I’d built it up in my head so much that the reality couldn’t live up to it? Now wasn’t the time for promises.
Reaching up, I took Sheldon’s hand in mine, cupping it where it still sat against my cheek. I leaned into it and held his gaze. “Come to bed with me. Hold me. We can talk more once you’ve slept.”
“Promise you’ll be there when I wake.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
That was one I would keep. Tomorrow was Sunday. Sheldon was off. I didn’t start my new job until Monday. I was going to enjoy every moment I had with him.