4. The Gift #2
After a few moments of silence, he took a couple steps back and leaned his body up against the table.
She took a deep breath, “Well, I am hoping that the “larger-than-London” city I was promised explodes out of the ground.” Mary got louder with each word.
“Then I can stop eating these disgusting meals that the better-than-me-wives keep recommending!” She was yelling now, and didn’t care if the neighbors heard.
Eduard inhaled sharply. Shock spread across his face at the sudden change in the conversation. She didn’t wait to allow him a chance to respond as she kept yelling.
“Do you think I wanted this?” She threw her arms in the air, indicating that she was referring to everything in America.
Mary pressed a finger into his chest, snapping viciously at him.
“I left my family’s mansion and crossed an ocean to find you settled on a measly farm with a small cabin barely big enough for the two of us. ”
“Well, I thought you wanted … me.” His voice was small, full of sadness as his expression met her anger. She saw the desperation in his eyes, searching hers for any confirmation of her love for him.
“I did want you, but back home in a brick house with a full staff. I wanted you, with a steady job that made us an easy fortune.” Her eyes implored, pleading with the man she fell in love with.
“We were supposed to be surrounded by our friends and family, not living in the woods surrounded by strangers and unlimited dangers. I want to go back to London.”
“I…” He started, then looked down at his hands, unable to meet her begging eyes. “I told you in my final letter you could be released from the engagement.”
“I had no choice, Eduard. You know that. The moment I agreed to marry you our families practically merged their businesses together. There was no way I could walk away from that.”
“This is who I am, Mary. I thought that you would love to get away from the control of your family. I needed to get away from mine as well.”
“What do you mean?” This was the first time Eduard had spoken against his family at all.
Her breathing came in shallow huffs as she worked to catch her breath.
Sweat dripped down her legs, driven slowly out of her body, fueled by the anger that was seething beneath the surface.
She watched him, waiting for what he would say for himself.
Eduard moved towards the solid wood chair in the corner and slumped down. His handsome face, etched with worry, dropped into his waiting hands.
How did we get here? Just a broken woman, breaking a man. If only we had stayed in London. He knows that money means security and comfort. How could he expect me to live like this?
She considered giving him pity and comforting him, apologizing even. But all pity she had she reserved for herself. She was the real victim here, if anyone needed to apologize it was him.
The child she now carried was just a new shackle to this life sentence. Another reminder of the decisions she had made to get to this point. No, the blame was not on her. He had made her promises and failed to keep them.
The silence between them hung heavy in the air, and choked her senses, as though the room was filled with invisible smoke. Her eyes burned as she fought back threatening tears.
Why won’t he say something? He won’t even look at me! Coward! Her chest tightened as her anger burned like a wildfire in her heart.
“I should have stayed in London, because being a spinster would have been better than my life here with you!” She yelled and stormed out the front door.
She didn’t wait to see the results of her outburst. Godly wives must respect their husbands. The voices of the other wives rang throughout her head. All the other women might bow down to their husband’s control, but I’m not going to be a pushover.
Mary headed straight to the newly-rebuilt barn.
Petting their horses usually soothed her, but tonight she considered burning it to the ground.
The barn was a modest one and she knew that they had enough money to have a bigger house and barn, but Eduard just wanted to fit in.
He had no problem living a modest lifestyle knowing that great riches and wealth were around the corner.
The money she had brought with her immediately went into Eduard’s possession, and once the new barn was built, the rest of the money went into hiring a farm hand.
Night was peaceful in the country. A cricket orchestra filled her ears as she continued past the barn and toward the river. An owl somewhere in the distance hooted. Mary wished she could sprout wings of her own and escape.
She didn't pay close attention to where she was walking and managed to stomp in a hole that was just big enough to cause her to lose her footing. She landed hard on her other foot, twisting her ankle in the process.
No! Not on the belly! My baby girl. Please be okay. My little poppet, it’s just you and me, she thought as she landed on her hip.
Her hands flew down to cradle her baby bump as she stood and limped to a nearby tree log. She looked back toward the warmth emitting from her house as pain radiated from her ankle.
She was trained to control her emotions in all situations, but with the mixture of pain and anger, she let the tears flow. Mary lifted her head up to the sky, allowing the streams to reach her ears.
“Why am I being punished in this life? Am I that horrible of a person that I have been destined to live the awful life of a farmer’s wife? What is so wrong with wanting to live a comfortable lifestyle?”
Mary’s thoughts overwhelmed her mind, and she leaned forward, face in her hands, elbows on her knees. That’s when she remembered Sue and the gift. Her mind was all but made up to find someone to switch with.
“Is it possible Sue told the truth? Can I escape this wretched life and start over?” Mary rubbed her hands over her belly and relaxed as the baby moved in response to her touch. A smile played on the corners of her mouth.
After a few minutes she realized Eduard wasn’t coming after her. I’ll just sleep out here, that will show him, she thought but the crickets that once sounded peaceful had turned grating to her ears. She sighed. Somehow, even my desire to stay in the outdoors is thwarted by insects.
Resigned to return back to the safety and warmth of their home, she stood. Testing the hurt ankle proved that the damage was limited, and she would be fine to limp home.
Just as she was about to have a full-blown pity party for herself and her hurt ankle, Eduard appeared. Relief flooded her body at the sight of him. In his arms, he held a blanket. A lantern was extended out in front of him, illuminating his path.
“Mary! Are you all right?” His wide eyes stared at the rip in her skirt.
“I’ve hurt my ankle and it seems I can’t take a full step.”
“And the baby?” His eyes darted down to her cradled stomach. Mary smiled and looked down.
“Seems to be okay.” She lifted her tear filled eyes back to him. He sat down next to her on the log and laid the blanket across their laps. They sat bundled together in silence.
“My father was on the verge of opening a new factory. He wanted me to run it.” Eduard broke the silence. His words sent a new flurry of anger to Mary’s heart.
“What’s wrong with that? I thought you wanted to have a legacy to build? Running your own factory would have allowed that.”
Eduard sighed. “It was in Siberia.”
Mary gasped. “What? Why would he send you there?” She could guess, but she allowed Eduard to explain.
“I think he was worried that if I decided to branch off on my own, I would eventually become more successful than him.”
Mary nodded. She remembered the many conversations they had about what Eduard wanted to accomplish, and she could understand how his father could get the wrong idea.
So, he’d left for America to save me from a life in Siberia. America was quite beautiful, and from my understanding, Siberia is cold and wet. He gave up so much, to protect me from a fate worse than this one. His dreams were crushed by his own father.
She finally saw Eduard for who he truly was, a man who loved her and wanted to take care of her, to protect her. He had done more for her than her own father had. Her heart swelled and then broke.
How could I be so blind, so stupid to not see what was right in front of me this whole time? We have a fresh start, to build the life we want without the toxicity of our families. Eduard and our baby are my family now.
His hand reached under the blanket and found her hand. He kept his face looking ahead, giving her the space she needed.
Forget Sue and her theoretical gift. I’m right where I belong. Mary reached up and brushed her fingers along his chin, bringing his face towards hers. Their eyes locked and even in the dark she could see his face was full of mutual love toward her.
She took Eduard’s face into her hands and kissed him deeper than she had ever kissed him before. Because for the first time since she’d arrived, Mary felt the same deep love she’d felt when she first met Eduard years ago.
He wrapped his arms around her, and she allowed herself to sink deeper into his hold. As the warmth of his body enveloped her, a feeling of peace washed over her. The feeling that he would protect her from anything that tried to hurt her, even herself.