26. The Aquarium
Jenkins spent all day with the new Pamela. She was so different from the previous Pamela—both versions. Her eyes twinkled when she smiled, and she laughed with her whole body. He was able to call her Pamela now. She was destined to be Pamela; her inner beauty now matched her outer beauty.
Pamela popped a french fry drizzled with ranch into her mouth.
They huddled over a table together in a booth at a local eatery.
Shopping bags full of clothing and shoes sat on either side of Pamela.
She refused to buy anything unless it was with money she earned from working, and her final paycheck arrived from the movie she had finished filming the previous week.
The sun hung low in the sky, and she kept leaning forward to grab food from their plates.
Her perfume filled the space between them, and Jenkins drank in her scent.
She was intoxicating. He tried to keep his feelings at bay, but after helping her adjust to her new life, and watching her experience a new level of luxury, he found himself struggling.
“Can we enter the trust tree?” Her green eyes softened as she looked intently at Jenkins. He raised his eyebrows. A small smile played on his lips.
“Again? Didn’t we enter the trust tree yesterday when you asked me if a dress made your ankles look fat?” He smiled again at the memory. “It didn’t by the way.”
She wrinkled her nose and tossed a fry at him. “Okay, yes, I did use the trust tree for that. But I have something important I want to share.”
Jenkins leaned forward. His smile dropped as he hung on her every word.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get married again.” Another fry went into her mouth and Jenkins felt his shoulder drop. Disappointment was an emotion he always struggled to hide.
“What if you found the right guy?” He lifted his voice to mimic the hope that burned deep inside. What if you could find your way to me? he thought, as his heart pleaded for her to open up to him.
“No such thing. Men only want to use and abuse women. Plain and simple,” she retorted.
Jenkins shifted in his seat and grabbed his soda to take a sip.
“I know this is a lot to share but it feels good to finally have the truth out there,” Pamela said. Her eyes scanned the vicinity before continuing. “I was sexually assaulted when I was nineteen, then soon after I met Sam,” Pamela explained, grabbing a new fry.
“At the time, he was my knight in shining armor, a true gentleman. He’d had big plans to be rich and had wanted to give me the world,” she paused, lost in a far off thought.
She shook the memory away. “It wasn’t until right before we got married that the problems started. He would get angry and defensive when I brought up my feelings.” She paused to take a sip of her milkshake.
“One time, he punched the middle console of his truck, and when I winced away, he screamed, ‘What? Do you think I am going to hit you? What kind of man do you think I am?’” Pamela shrugged as though she was talking about an emotional paper cut instead of a puncture wound.
“Did he ever?” Jenkins swallowed hard, his fist curled around themselves under the table.
Pamela nodded. “Yes, and it was usually me who apologized after.” A small chuckle escaped and Jenkins watched her, unsure what to say in response.
“Honestly, I didn’t want to put another woman in my situation. I just had a brief moment where I wanted to escape, even if only for a day.” Her voice dropped, and she spun a fry between her fingers. “I can’t imagine what Darla is going through right now.” She shuddered and looked at him.
Jenkins nodded. He had to stomach her casually recounting all the trauma and abuse she endured over the years, and he wanted so badly to take away every single invisible wound Sam had left on her. He understood that better than most and right now he didn’t want to think about Darla.
“Since we’re in the trust tree, I should tell you about my lovely uncle.
He would get drunk and beat up on me and my sister.
I did my best to shield her from his rage, but I was weak, and he would separate us.
When Darla came along, I thought it was our chance at a new life.
But then … ” He trailed off as tears pooled in his eyes.
“The car accident.” Pamela finished his sentence. She reached across and squeezed his hand. “You’ve come so far in spite of what Darla has done.” Her smile made his heart leap, and he wished her words were true.
The truth was, he was constantly looking over his shoulder. He didn’t know if or when Darla would show up. It could be in Pamela’s old body as Callie or someone else’s entirely. The latter kept him awake most nights.
“Anyways, I don’t think you should count out marriage altogether.
I think you need a chance to focus on yourself.
Be a little selfish and heal.” He squeezed her hand in return and then stole a fry from her plate.
“Besides, I think after everything we have been through, all of which was because of other people’s actions, we deserve to find our own version of happiness. ”
“I guess.” Pamela glanced over at the new security detail Jenkins insisted she should hire.
“Is it weird I still feel uncomfortable spending money that technically isn’t mine?
” She nodded her head in the direction of the incognito men in sunglasses constantly surveying the area.
“Are you sure they’re really needed? We haven’t heard from her in six months. ”
“They are necessary. I promise. There is no telling if she is going to show up. When I spoke to her on the phone, she seemed infuriated.”
“Are you going to hire your own security?” Her green eyes flickered with worry.
Jenkins shook his head. “I am more concerned with your safety.”
Pamela shot daggers at Jenkins and scrunched her nose in disapproval before sitting up straight and tossing her arms in the air.
“Oh, and tonight is that cast-and-crew wrap party at the director’s house.
Will you please come with me? It’s really because of your help that I did so well with filming this movie, and it would mean so much if you came.
” She clasped her hands together and gave him her best puppy dog eyes.
Jenkins laughed at her sweet, tender disposition. “Sure, I can come with you. Where does he live?”
“He is actually just across the street from me, which is great because we can just walk from my house—er—I mean from the house over to the party and back.”
Jenkins took another sip of his soda. “I live across the city. I can come for a little while, but I have that important client meeting early tomorrow, and I don’t want to get to bed too late.”
“You could just stay the night at the house. I have plenty of rooms, as you know,” she added quickly at the end and blushed, looking down. “We can run over to your place now, and you can pack a bag.”
“That’s not a bad idea since the client meeting is only fifteen minutes from your house. I can stay in one of your thousand empty rooms.” Jenkins enunciated the word your to emphasize that this was her life now, and everything that had once belonged to Darla, now belonged to her.
Even after all this time, she still struggles with taking what she doesn’t feel is hers. His heart swelled again at her selfless nature.
“Speaking of the house, I should sell it and find something smaller. More reasonable. Maybe even closer to where you live.”
“Why?” Jenkins jerked his head back to reality at the sudden turn in the conversation.
“I don’t know what to do with all that space.
I want something that feels like a home, not a castle.
Plus, the area you live in is so much more modest, and there are so many cute little houses with shutters and white picket fences.
I even saw the house on the corner with the ivy trellis for sale.
” She leaned forward, her face eager to share.
Her eyes sparkled as she continued. “Every time I pass it, I imagine sipping tea out on the front porch waving at the neighborhood kids.”
Jenkins caught Pamela’s attention with his gaze. They held eye contact for a few moments, and he watched a pink hue fill her cheeks. How can I tell her that she is amazing and deserves anything she wants?
“I think that if you want to get a different house, then you should. It would be cool to live near each other so we could see each other more.”
She awkwardly looked away to get the server’s attention for the check.
Jenkins realized he needed to give her space. In a previous trust-tree session, she had confided in him that she still felt married and needed more time to get past the feelings of cheating. That conversation was several months ago, though.
I just need to be her friend, someone she can trust. I will do everything I can to help her be successful and happy.
The server appeared, and they both reached for the check, his hand resting gently on hers.
“Allow me, please.” He smiled kindly at her, and she withdrew her hand to her lap.
She smiled in response. “Thank you.”
Jenkins watched as she flexed her hand before resting it on her lap. I wonder if her feelings have changed, Jenkins hoped, as he pulled cash out of his wallet to settle the bill, and he texted their driver to meet them at the front door.
“Ready?” he asked, moving to stand when she smiled and nodded in response. Outside, paparazzi waited to snap pictures of them as they made a mad dash with their security detail to the waiting car.
The drive to his house was quiet, and Jenkins’s mind panicked that he pushed her too far romantically. I need to keep it cool. I need to find a way to tell her I’m totally okay with just being her friend. Or whatever she needs right now.
The car rolled to a stop on the street in front of his house. “I’ll be right back.” Lightning bugs flitted about his front yard, and he was in and out in a few minutes. A suit bag was slung over one shoulder, and the other held a duffle bag with his overnight essentials.
Back inside the dark car, they sat shoulder to shoulder. Their hands rested on the seat in between their legs, their fingers centimeters apart. The electricity was palpable as they drove silently along. Jenkins turned to face her.
Now is my chance to tell her I just want to be her friend, that above all I just want her to be safe and happy.
“Pamela—” Before he could finish, she kissed him.
As she pulled away, he reached his hand up and gently cupped her face to kiss her longer and deeper.
She leaned her body into his, and Jenkins’s arms wrapped around her.
In the safety of the dark car, they gave in to the feelings he thought were one sided.
Jenkins would have waited years for Pamela to be ready, but the moment felt so right, so perfect. He still wanted to be careful not to push her too far, and he slowed his kiss down into small pecks against her perfect pout.
Breathless, they separated, locked eyes, and broke into laughter.
Pamela leaned back into her seat and Jenkins grabbed her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.
He was worried the smile on his face would never leave, and he would be the raving lunatic who smiled every second for the rest of his life.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Jenkins leaned his head back, sure that in the small space she could hear the thunder of his heart pounding in his chest.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.” She smiled at him in the dark, and immediately his lips met hers.
“Never apologize for doing what you need to feel safe.” He brushed her cheek. How is it he had found the person he was looking for, and it was the crazy circumstance of Darla’s behavior that brought them together?
Pamela sat back in her seat; her demeanor shifted as she sulked away from him. “So, you were in love with the original Pamela?” Her voice sounded sad, defeated.
“What? No! I always thought she was somewhat attractive, but not who she was as a person. He felt a shiver go down his spine. “Let’s just say, even though I tried to stop Darla from switching with her and forcing her to live out the rest of her life in an old sick body, it wasn’t because I was in love with her. It was just the right thing to do.”
He turned to face her. How do I get her to understand?
“She was my best friend, but our personalities were like oil and water. But you and me? These last six months have shown me that we are like different shades of water that come together and make the most spectacular colors possible.” Okay, it’s official.
I’m an idiot, and I need to stop talking.
Pamela wiped tears from her face. “So, you would have liked me even in my freckled, red-headed body with the frizziest hair on the west coast?”
“Yes.” His voice was solid, resolute. He stared deeply into her eyes.
The desire to press his lips to hers burned across his skin.
He sat still, letting her process and make the next move.
She smiled and nuzzled up to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
Her fingers intertwined with his and that settled into silence.
The car pulled up to the gate of her property, and the driver lowered the partition that separated the cab from their riding space.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but there is something in the driveway blocking the way. I’m waiting on the team to go check it out.”
The hairs on Jenkins’s body stood up as a chill coursed through him. “Stay here.” He kissed her fingers and slipped out into the night. The headlights shone ahead on the gates, and in the middle of the drive sat a small glass box.
His stomach dropped as he drew closer to the object, and by the time the security team arrived, his body was full of dread. He scanned the area; there were too many opportunities to remain hidden from view.
The security team jumped into action, pulling out flashlights and securing the area.
Jenkins stood still, his feet glued to the ground beneath him.
He felt fourteen again, when he had stood in a fancy hotel lobby and watched fish swim circles as his sister stood nearby, admiring the chandelier, when Darla checked them into their room for the night.
Darla was back.
He watched as one of the security team members picked up the glass box, a small aquarium. Two dead fish were floating inside.