Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Fear—it ruled just about everything in Todd Morris’s life.
Fear that Kenny would be hurt, fear that he would be taken away.
The fear that today would be another day with very little to eat.
And let’s not forget the fear that the person near you could turn on you and bring all the other fears into stark relief.
But above it all was the fear that as bad as things seemed at the moment, they would get worse, because there was almost nothing at all that was within your control.
Todd lived with fear every day, and he knew the cost of it.
The problem was that he wasn’t able to stare it down and keep it at bay.
And maybe it wasn’t possible because it snuck into every nook and cranny of his life.
The worst thing about it was that Todd wasn’t sure he could get past it.
When the police had come to remove everyone from the woods at the back of the park, everyone else had simply taken what they could and left.
Todd had pulled Kenny to him and hidden.
He hadn’t been able to move, so he kept out of sight.
Not that he had any reason to stay; he’d just been too scared to move.
What startled him the most was when he’d stepped from behind the tree to let Jameson see him.
Todd wished he knew why he’d done that in the first place.
“Todd,” Jameson said, finally pulling him out of his dark spiral. “We need to get your license and identification papers and things. Whatever you have that proves who you and Kenny are. Do you remember where you kept them? Are they still there?”
“Yes, I remember, and I’m pretty sure they’re still where I put them.
” He closed his eyes for a second. All he wanted was to sleep.
It was quiet. When you were with other people in the park or the woods, things were never quiet.
There were always people talking. Some of them crazy and frightening, but there was always noise.
“Okay.” Jameson sat back on the sofa. “I have to tell you that I don’t know what to do.
I mean, I know we need to try to get you some sort of employment, but then we need someone to watch Kenny.
In the fall, he’ll need to start school.
” He rubbed the back of his neck. Todd smiled to himself because Jameson had always done that when he was presented with a situation where he didn’t know the answer.
“It’s remarkably easy for things to fall apart and hard as hell to put them back together.
I’ve been trying for months. There are people who came out, brought food, and tried to help.
They meant well, but I don’t know if anyone is going to be able to help me pick up the pieces because I’m not even sure what some of the pieces are or where they are. ”
“You know what… I don’t either. But I do know people who might be able to help.”
Jameson felt the fear taking over once more.
“No. You can’t call in a whole bunch of people.
What if they try to take Kenny away? They’ll say I was hurting him and not caring for him properly, and then they’ll put him in foster care, and I’ll never see him again.
” He was already on his feet, heading for where Kenny was sleeping.
Maybe this was a bad idea, and they should just get out of here.
“Hey,” Jameson said powerfully without raising his voice.
“Donald isn’t like that. He works with kids and families all the time.
And he has one of his own, so he knows how hard it is to be a parent.
If there are resources that he has that can help you, then we have to try.
” Jameson took his hands. “Don’t you see.
You can’t get on your feet alone. It’s going to take people who know how to do this.
And he does. We don’t have to meet him here if you don’t want.
I could probably ask him to meet us somewhere more public if that would make you feel better. ”
Todd could feel his insides shaking, and it took a few minutes for the fear to settle down.
“I’ll talk to him.” He needed to start somewhere, and Jameson was trying to help.
In a way, he had reached out to Jameson, and it was coming to the point where he had to trust someone.
He and Kenny couldn’t stay out like this forever.
They were approaching summer now, but winter was going to pose challenges that Todd didn’t think he was up for.
“Okay,” Jameson said. “Let me call him and see what I can arrange. I’m not going to tell him any more than I have to.
” He pulled out his phone and set it on the table.
Then he used his phone to look up the number and dialed it, putting the call on speaker.
Instead of getting Donald directly, it went to voice mail, and Jameson left a message before ending the call. “He’ll call us back,” Jameson told him.
Todd simply shrugged. He’d seen this before.
The few times he had tried to call people for help, they didn’t answer the phone, and he hadn’t had one of his own.
He tried using one at the library, but he couldn’t give that number as a call back, so the whole thing went nowhere.
Everything seemed to stack up against him.
Things that he had taken for granted before now became obstacles that he had to figure out a way to overcome.
“Why don’t you go lie down with Kenny and try to get a little sleep?”
That sounded like a good idea. Maybe if he was rested, he could think more clearly. He went to the bedroom where Kenny was sound asleep on the bed where he’d left him. His son hadn’t moved, and the dog was still there too.
“Try not to worry about things. Okay?” Jameson said from behind him. “Just rest and give yourself a chance to relax. We can talk more later.”
Todd turned and found Jameson not far away.
. His eyes were soft and gentle, something Todd hadn’t seen in a long time.
On the street, he met hard people, ones who were closed off completely or just plain blank.
“Thanks, Jamie,” he said, using the old nickname from high school.
He should have moved away, but something held him still.
Maybe it was his eyes, or the fact that Jamie actually seemed to like him.
“I’ll pay you back for your kindness one way or another. ”
Jamie shook his head and then touched his cheek. Todd almost gasped and held still a second before leaning into it. Todd tried to remember the last time he had been touched kindly by anyone. His heart raced, and his breath grew shallow as his mind sort of floated.
“Go ahead and rest. I have work to do, and I’ll be here when you get up.”
He nodded and went inside. The dog sat up, and when he got on the bed, she jumped down and joined Jameson, who closed the door.
Todd sighed and tried to release some of the tension.
He joined Kenny; the soft mattress and pillow almost felt too good.
Still, for the moment he was safe, and so was Kenny. And that had to be enough for now.
It was still light when he woke. Kenny wasn’t in the bed with him, and Todd jumped up.
He checked the bathroom, but he wasn’t there.
Todd hurried out of the room and down the short hall to the living room.
Kenny sat on the floor with a half-empty plate in front of him, the dog on his lap soaking up his son’s attention.
Jamie sat nearby, the computer on his lap as he typed away.
Relief flooded over him, and he hurried to Kenny. “Did you sleep well?” He tried to keep the ebbing panic out of his voice.
Jameson looked up from his work, met his gaze, and stilled.
He must have seen what was below the surface.
“Kenny came out an hour ago. We got some cookies and milk, and he’s been playing with Cindy,” Jamie said calmly.
“I received a call from my friend, and he said he would get some things together and come over at seven.”
“Do you have to teach classes?” Todd asked.
“Not until Monday. The semester is almost over. That means I’ll have finals to grade, and everything must be turned in pretty quickly.
I’m taking extra precautions this year with the materials because there’s been rumors of cheating on campus.
Someone seems to have found a way into the college systems to get copies of online exams and tests before they’re given.
I’ve taken to keeping my materials off the college network.
A few other professors are doing the same, but most of them are continuing with life as usual.
” He shook his head as if to try to push all that from his mind.
“I have a lot of work over the next few weeks. Not to mention this article to finish and submit.” He smiled.
“I have a regular column in an academic periodical that analyzes current affairs, and it’s due tomorrow.
Kenny has been helping me.” That was a surprise.
Kenny didn’t speak very often, and when he did, it was almost only to him.
“Now, I have just one question.” He smiled, but this time at Kenny. “What do you want for dinner?”
Todd was about to answer, but Jameson shook his head.
“You can tell me. What do you like the most?” he asked Kenny.
Todd wasn’t sure that he was going to answer at all.
“B-sketti,” he finally said softly.
“That’s cool. I love spaghetti.” Jamie held out his hand. “Do you want to help me make dinner? We can have spaghetti with meat sauce and some garlic bread. Do you like that?” Kenny nodded and slowly got up. Then, to Todd’s near total shock, Kenny took his hand and let Jamie lead him to the kitchen.