Chapter 35
Austin
Leaving early didn’t help. The roads are absolutely trash, and by the time I’m pulling into the diner, I’m ten minutes late. It looks like Arlo’s already gone for the night, and if I know those two, they sent Ma home hours ago.
I should have left sooner. Actually, what I should have done was gotten Luca’s Christmas present together sooner instead of ending up in a time crunch. That would have been the smart thing to do. But I didn’t, so here I am.
I pull in beside the kitchen door and hop out, leaving the truck running so it stays warm.
I’m smiling when I walk inside. Luca’s been working his ass off lately, and I’ve missed him so much.
It’ll be nice to spend some quality time together for the holidays.
I actually can’t believe how long it’s been since we’ve spent a Christmas together.
“Hey, baby,” I call out when I step into the dark kitchen. “Luc?”
There’s a low murmuring and gasping noise that has my body going on high alert.
“I’ll fucking kill you, Luca. I will fucking kill you.” I barely hear the words over the sound of my own blood rushing through my head, but I do hear them. And I’d know that fucking voice anywhere.
I turn the corner to absolute horror.
Damien’s hands are wrapped around the love of my life’s throat. There’s blood pouring from Luca’s nose, dripping over Damien’s hands as Luca thrashes and fights to get away from him.
I don’t think. I don’t breathe. I don’t stop.
I’m across the room before I even make a conscious decision to do it. One second, Damien is strangling Luca, and the next he’s under me on the ground.
A fist connects with my jaw. It should probably hurt. Given the way my head jerks to the side, I’m surprised it doesn’t. I feel nothing. Nothing but rage. Red-hot rage.
Someone’s laughing. Me, I think?
“You’re never going to touch him again.” The words come from me, but it doesn’t feel like I said them. My mind is disconnected from my body, my voice no more than a disembodied growl.
Damien’s ugly blue eyes widen in terror.
Good. He should be fucking afraid of me.
I slam a fist into the side of his face, connecting with his already busted nose. Given the spray of blood, it’s broken.
“He’s not yours to fucking touch.”
The man doesn’t know when to give up because he tries to spit at me.
I fucking hate this man for what he did to Luca. For what he stole from him.
His safety.
His sense of self.
His trust.
And most importantly, his love. Something he never deserved to have.
I don’t feel the impact of my fists against his face.
I don’t see the blood staining my knuckles.
I barely notice the red streaking across the floor.
All I see is Luca.
Flinching away from my touch.
Crying in my arms.
His face, marred with bruises. His throat, dotted with black fingerprints. His eyes, bloodshot and watery. The hemorrhaging around his eyes.
The sounds of flesh hitting flesh are dull, muted under the memory of Luca’s gut-wrenching sobs. The shakiness in his voice when he told me he lied. The shame. The guilt. The pain.
All the pain. Too much fucking pain.
Not anymore.
I grab a fistful of Damien’s hair and slam his head against the floor. “Never. Fucking. Again.”
My shoulders are aching, my lungs burning.
Someone grabs my arm, and I try to shove them away.
“Austin, stop. You have to stop.”
Luca. It’s Luca.
I look down at Damien, awareness returning instantly. He’s more blood than man. Almost unrecognizable.
Luca. Oh, Luca.
I stumble to my feet, and his concerned face comes into focus. He’s scared. I scared him. Fuck.
“Austin?”
His voice. God, what have I done? What the fuck did I do?
“Baby,” I croak, cupping his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t hurt you. I wouldn’t. You have to believe me.”
There’s blood smeared across his skin, staining his dark hair and marking up his cheekbones. “You’re bleeding.”
Damien hurt him. I was too late. I let him get hurt.
“Austin.” Luca knocks my hands away from him, and my heart sinks. “Austin, look at me. Focus on me.”
I blink. Then blink again. I think sweat’s dripping into my eyes because he’s blurry. So blurry. Swimming before me with terror etched into every line of his face. “Baby?”
“Hey, shh.” He steps toward me, raising his hand slowly to cup my face. “You’re okay.”
Of course I’m okay. “But you… You—”
He shakes his head. “I’m okay too. It’s okay. We have to call 911.”
What? Why would we do that?
“Austin. Sit down.”
Warm hands land on my forearms, and then I’m being pulled. I go, my feet moving independently of my brain. “Sit.”
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. “Please don’t be afraid of me.”
Big gray eyes fill my field of vision. “Austin, I’m not afraid of you. There’s a lot of blood, okay? Damien’s barely breathing. I need to call 911.”
Luca steps away from me, and I watch him go. Then I glance down at my hands. I’m covered in blood, and my knuckles are aching, screaming in pain.
I can hear Luca talking, but I can’t make out any of the words. Everything sounds loud but far away at the same time. It’s deafening. Like the roar of a house fire. Like wood splintering and collapsing, the roof caving in as the flames shoot higher and higher.
My stomach twists and rolls, damn near making me double over. Where’s Luca? I sit up, eyes darting around the room in my frantic search for him.
He’s kneeling a few feet away, body hunched over a prone Damien. He’s… wiping his face, clearing blood from his skin.
I’m the worst fucking person. I hurt him. I beat him half to death, and my only thought is that Luca is showing him more kindness than he himself ever received.
It looks like he’s trying to assess the injuries, and my stomach lurches again when I take stock of how bad Damien’s face looks. The aching in my knuckles intensifies, a burn spreading up my arms and settling in the muscles of my shoulders. God, how many times did I hit him?
Holding my hands up in front of me, I look at my knuckles. They’re raw and bleeding, bruised and red.
“Luca?” I whisper.
“It’s okay. Help is on the way,” he says, barely sparing me a glance over his shoulder as he continues tending to Damien’s wounds.
I come back to myself in pieces. The feeling in my fingers comes back entirely, making the pain there worse than I thought possible. Spreading to my hands and up my arms. As more of my body comes back to me, more pain blooms across my skin before settling in my heart.
Oh my God. Luca is never going to forgive me. He’s never going to trust me again.
Sirens blare outside, and my head snaps up.
Fuck. I was defending Luca. I know this. But I’m going to have to answer questions, and I don’t want to. I want to be with Luca.
The door slams open as EMS rushes in. Luca moves out of the way. Someone starts a line, someone checks his vitals, and they give him morphine.
I stare at Luca’s back as he watches on. What is he thinking? Is he horrified? Does he think I’m a monster? And worse, what if I am?
Damien’s loaded onto a stretcher as the paramedics talk back and forth in hushed tones.
More sirens sound out, and seconds later, the sheriff is walking through the doors, taking in the scene with assessing eyes.
Luca approaches him, saying something I can’t hear over the ringing in my ears. He’s probably telling him to get him far away from me. I wouldn’t blame him.
I stare at my lap, shame threatening to swallow me whole.
A gentle hand cups my chin, then tilts my head back. Luca settles his eyes on mine. “Hey, baby,” he coos. He’s never called me baby before. “It’s okay. Come back to me.”
What is he talking about? I’m right here. I open my mouth to say that, but no words come out—just a broken, gasping sound.
Concern mars Luca’s beautiful, bloody features, his brows pulling together. “It’s okay.” He trails his fingers over my jaw, stroking me gently. “Everything’s okay.”
His voice is so soft and so calm. The only words I can think to say are, “I love you.”
A small smile graces his lips, but that doesn’t make any sense. “I love you too. EMS wants to check us out, baby. Can you focus on my voice?”
I nod.
“Good. That’s good. You saved me, Austin. You fucking saved me.”
Did I?
I must have said the words out loud because Luca nods. “Yes, baby. You saved me. God.”
Some primal part of me takes over, and my arms come up on instinct, crushing Luca to me. He lets out a groan. A pained groan, and I let him go just as quick. Damien hurt him again. I wasn’t here, and Damien hurt him again.
“Shhh,” he murmurs close to my ear. “I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”
He wraps his arms around me, holding me close as I rest my head over his heart. It’s slow and calm. Soothing. He’s calm. That’s good, right?
I focus on the sound of his heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump. Strong and steady under my ear. Each beat brings me closer to him. Each thump echoes in my chest and calms my racing heart until it matches his.
“You’re okay?” I whisper.
Luca hums, rubbing a hand up my back before burying his face in my hair. He inhales a deep breath, shuddering against me.
“I’m okay, baby. Thanks to you.”