Chapter 37
Austin
I’m cradling my head in my hands, sitting in this freezing room at the sheriff’s department, and every single fiber of my being is dying to get to Luca. No one will tell me a fucking thing, and it’s making me crazy.
I just want to know if he’s okay.
The events at the diner are still fuzzy, but I’ve tried my best to go over them. I came in. Damien was choking Luca. He said he was going to kill him. I stopped him.
I didn’t have a choice. There was no way in hell I was going to let him hurt Luca more than he already had.
A chill races down my spine. What if I hadn’t made that deal with him that I’d take him to and from work? He’d be dead right now. He’d be fucking dead.
A sob works its way up my throat, but I choke it back. I can’t break down here. I can’t.
There’s a knock on the door, and I snap my head up. Hunter pushes the door open and peeks inside. “He’s okay.”
Thank fucking God. “What’s going on? What are his injuries? He’s… is he?”
Hunter shakes his head. “I don’t know the full extent. I know that he’s sore, but when I left, he was alert and talkative. Pissed as hell too.” His lips tilt up into a smirk.
Fuck. “Thank you.”
Hunter tips his hat with a smile, then leaves the room.
They took my phone when I got here, and I’m dying to talk to Luca. Dying to talk to him. I just want to hear his voice. I just want to tell him I love him.
Someone needs to call my mom and dad. Hell, Ma doesn’t even know her diner is a fucking crime scene.
I don’t know how long I sit alone, but after a while there’s a knock on the door. I’m expecting another deputy coming to ask me the same damn questions again, but instead, it’s Jasper.
“How’s Luca?” are the first words out of my mouth.
Jasper sits down across from me. “He’s okay. Two broken ribs and a concussion. Arlo’s with him. He’s okay enough to be mad at me for leaving you alone up here.”
That gets a small laugh out of me, even though nothing about it is funny. “Can you call my mom? They took my phone.”
“Yeah, I will in a minute.” Jasper sits back, crossing an ankle over the other. “Are you okay?”
I look down at my hands, expecting to see bloody knuckles.
I don’t, of course, since they’re wrapped in gauze, but they hurt like a bitch.
“Yeah, I think so.” Locking eyes with Jasper, I shake my head.
“I barely even remember it… Or the after. It was like… one minute I was walking in the back door of the diner, and the next, I’m sitting here with gauze on my hands. ”
Jasper nods solemnly. “You were probably in shock.”
“Yeah.” I swallow hard. God, I just wanna get back to Luca. “I can remember flashes, but that’s about it. Why did they let you back here?” I didn’t even think about how weird it was that they did.
His eyebrows shoot up. “They’re not arresting you, Austin.”
“Then why the fuck am I still here?”
“They’re just holding you for questioning.”
I growl, frustrated beyond belief. “They’ve questioned me a thousand fucking times.”
We’re interrupted by the door swinging open. Hunter walks in with a grimace. “Hey, the sheriff will be in here in a minute, but I just wanted to give you the heads-up… Damien died.”
Fuck.
God fucking dammit.
I look down at my hands again as everything goes numb. I fucking murdered a man. I’m a killer. I beat him to death. Luca’s never going to forgive me. He’s going to be afraid of me.
What the fuck did I do? God, what did I do? What did I do?
Jasper snaps his fingers in front of my face. His lips are moving, but I don’t hear him.
“Now they’re gonna arrest me. I fucking murdered someone,” I hiss, my voice choked and warbled even to my own ears.
Jasper’s voice comes in and out in waves. I just fucking want Luca. What doesn’t he get about that? I don’t want his words. I just fucking want Luca.
I shake my head, silencing him. “Leave.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“Fucking leave!” I shout, feeling out of control and spiraling further by the second. My feet are itching to move, but I’m afraid if I do, if I get up and give in to the urge to pace and rage, everyone will see what I see. A fucking monster capable of murder.
Oh God, I fucking killed him.
The door opens. This is it. This is the moment. I stand, turning around with my hands behind me so they can cuff me. When nothing happens for a few seconds, I look behind me. “What are you waiting for?”
Sheriff Granger raises a bushy gray eyebrow. “For you to turn around here and look at me, boy.”
Turning quickly, I hold my hands out in front of me, wrists together. My stomach is a lead weight, and if I had food in it at all, I think I’d have already thrown up.
The sheriff shakes his head. “You’re free to go, Austin. From your statement and Luca’s, we’re ruling this a justifiable homicide. Don’t leave town, but as of right now, you’re free to go.”
It takes a second for the words to sink in, and when they finally do, I suck in a sharp breath. “I can… I can go see Luca?”
“You can go anywhere you want, long as you stay in town.”
I nod frantically. “Yeah, I won’t leave town. I promise.”
“Let me take you to Luca.”
Turning to Jasper, I grimace. I’m surprised he’s even still here. With the way I yelled at him, he doesn’t owe me a thing, and I wouldn’t blame him if he left my sorry ass here, but I’m too thankful for the offer to turn it down. “Please, and I’m sorry.”
He tugs me to him, giving me a hug. “No need to be sorry. Emotions are high. Let’s go.”
I barrel through Luca’s hospital room door, not even bothering to knock. I don’t know what’s waiting for me. I don’t know how he’ll react. All I know is I need my eyes on him immediately.
He’s lying in the bed beside Arlo. His face is buried against Arlo’s chest, and Arlo is running his fingers through his hair.
When he hears the door, his head snaps up, his tear-filled gray eyes latching onto mine.
“Austin.” His voice is a croaky whisper.
My heart is pounding a furious rhythm, threatening to explode right out of my chest. I’m waiting.
Waiting for him to call me a murderer, for him to tell me to leave, for him to be afraid.
He whimpers, a sad, awful sound that shoots through my heart, and then he reaches for me. Just a single outstretched hand. It’s everything. It’s fucking everything.
I damn near run across the room. Arlo slips off the bed, and I vaguely hear the door shutting as he leaves the room. I don’t dare look away from Luca.
He’s got a black eye and a small cut on his cheek, but he’s okay. He’s alive. And he’s here.
“Baby,” I croak, throat too tight to say anything else.
The only response I get is a whispered, “Hold me.”
A second later, he’s in my arms. I don’t even fully know how I go from standing beside his bed, staring down at him, to lying next to him and holding him in my arms, but somehow I do.
His warmth feels so good, and his presence even better. It’s so good that I almost don’t realize he’s crying. Breath-stealing, chest-heaving sobs. “He’s dead,” he mumbles. “He died.”
Fuck. “I know, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“What?” He glances up at me, eyes swimming with pain and tears. “No. Don’t be sorry.”
He buries his face against my chest, his tears starting anew. “I’m free,” he chokes out. “I’m free. I’m free.”
Relief makes me weak, and if I weren’t already lying down, I’d fall over. “You’re not afraid of me?”
“No.” Luca raises himself up, and I’m surprised when he starts kissing me.
His dry, cracked lips land all over my face.
My chin, my nose, and my cheeks, catching a spot that must be bruised because it’s tender when they brush it.
Then finally, my mouth. My hands throb when I cup the back of his head, but I don’t care.
“You saved me,” he whispers against my lips. “You saved me, and now I’m free.”
“I love you,” I choke out, realizing belatedly that I’m crying—big, aching tears pouring down my face in rivulets.
“I love you too. I want to go home.” He whimpers, trying to climb closer to me. He’s as close as he can humanly get, but it’s like he’s trying to worm his way under my skin. “I want to go home, Austin. Please take me home.”
I rub my palms over his hair, unable to do much else with my fingers wrapped up. “Let me talk to the nurses and see when you can go.”
“No, please. I want to go now. I’ll sign out AMA if I have to. I want to be at home.”
“Okay, baby. Okay.” I try to get up, but he holds me tighter. “Hit your call button.”
He fumbles around for it, not wanting to leave my arms even for a second. Not that I’m any better off. I don’t want to leave him either. I don’t want to be away from him at all. Ever again. All the seconds I’ve already been away have been too damn many.
The light above his bed flashes when he presses the button, and a few minutes later, a nurse walks in.
Luca sits up. “I want to go home.”
Concern mars her features. “Let me just talk to the doctor and—”
“No.” Luca’s voice is stronger than I thought he’d be capable of right now. “I want to go home. Get me a form. I’ll sign out AMA. I want to go home.”
She watches him for a second, then turns to me. “Are you going to follow concussion protocol?”
I nod. I’ll do anything if it means getting Luca out of here and home like he wants.
“Give me a few minutes.”
She leaves the room, and I shift to get my phone out of my pocket. It’s two in the morning. I don’t even know how that much time has passed, but I pull up Jasper’s contact and hit dial.
He answers on the third ring, so I put it on speakerphone. “Hey, y’all okay?”
“Luca wants to go home. Can you drive us? He’s signing out AMA.”
There’s a pause. “Is that a good idea?”
“Jasper,” Luca says, his voice wavering. “You have no idea the things I’ve done with far worse injuries than this. I want to go home.” His voice cracks completely, cracking my heart with it. “Please just take us home.”
After a beat of silence, Jasper answers, his voice soft and soothing. “Of course. Arlo and I will head over to your room now.”
I can feel Luca relax against me, his body slumping. “Thank you.”
I hang up the phone and wrap my arms around him. “Please let me know if I hurt your ribs, okay?”
“Even if it hurts, I don’t want you to let go.”
I don’t like the thought of hurting him, not even a little, but not even I can deny how badly I want to keep him here. Holding him is hurting me too. My hands are screaming at me, but I can’t stop, and I don’t want to.
“Okay,” I whisper into his hair. “I won’t let go. I’ll never, ever let go.”