Chapter 7 #2
“There’s Imogene’s,” Ethan said as we passed it to our right. People were on the deck enjoying the late afternoon sunlight and a meal. Several of them waved to us. Touched unexpectedly at the warm gestures, we waved back.
The banks were studded with a riot of color, blooming magnolia trees, the huge, white flowers standing out from the large oblong leaves with their delicate beauty, clustering vines of jasmine wending their way through trees and bushes, thick, heavy wisteria, languorously draping its delicate purple and pink blooms everywhere.
I breathed deep, the immediate area redolent with not only the heavenly spring scent of the blooms, but the dark, potent aroma of the bayou—a blending of growth, decay, and fish.
The air was heavy, but not oppressive as the sun dipped in the sky heading toward late afternoon. We motored along as I saw the steeple materialize in the distance.
“Is that the church where your daddy preaches?”
Ethan’s gaze went to where my arm was raised and pointing. Shielding his eyes, he said, “Yes, that’s it. We’re going right by it.”
“This must have been an amazing place to grow up,” I said, remembering my isolated childhood, being the good little girl and always acquiescing. Good girls cross their legs, don’t get muddy, or have an opinion.
His gaze lingered on the steeple as he piloted the boat into a side channel, taking us deeper into the swamp.
“My sister and I ran crazy through here when we were young. Chase and I pretended we were trappers and would track animals. We’d boat, crawfish, and frog.
Chase’s kid brother and the Outlaw boys were part of that social circle, except back then the Outlaw trips were outcasts and associating with them was frowned on.
My daddy was somewhat tolerant being the minister and all, but the rest of the town was biased. ”
We passed the church and Ethan’s boyhood home, the neatness and idyllic setting made me toe off my sneakers and settle back into the comfortable seat. Ethan’s presence was solid and warm to my right and there was something so capable about him that made me feel safe. “How so?”
“Remember I mentioned Chase’s ancestor, The Colonel?”
I nodded, resting my head against the back of the seat. “Right the founder of the town and the statue that got razed by Chase and his truck.”
“Yeah, well, the original blame had been pinned on Duel Outlaw, the trips ancestor, and the taint from his transgressions survived through the years until the Outlaws were exonerated by River Pearl, Brax’s wife.
“I haven’t met her yet.”
“She’s very busy with triplets of her own and an art gallery in Lafayette.”
“I bet that has kept her on her toes. Sounds like this little town is rich in history, scandal, and tradition.”
“Steeped in it for sure. I’ve liked those boys for a long time, regardless of their ancestry, so when they were cleared, I was very happy for them.
Of course my sister is married to Boone and very much in love with him.
I heard their courtship was rocky. I wasn’t here to see her fall in love with him. ”
“Oh, where were you?” I was wondering things about this man I shouldn’t, but wanting it anyway. I shifted and looked at him.
“In the Marines.”
From his tone, I could tell it was intense. His eyes darkened and his hand tightened on the wheel. “You fought in the Middle East?”
“Yeah, two tours.”
That explained the way he’d taken down the guy who had been trying to rob Outlaws.
Ethan had been in the military and his military training meant that he could take care of himself.
That thought made me relax a bit. I shouldn’t get comfortable here, but I couldn’t seem to help it.
In the back of my mind, I thought: Ethan can handle himself if it comes to violence.
Of course I would never let it come to that. I would be long gone before those bastards even set foot in Suttontowne. The townsfolk might talk about me, but I was sure Brax and Ethan wouldn’t give them the time of day.
“I’m sure it was awful.”
He bowed his head, then said, “Sometimes. Most of the patrols were uneventful. But after you get home, it’s strange.
It’s like you live two lives when deployed.
The one where you feel safe and secure and people are planting gardens, going to church, singing, laughing, and living.
Then back there, you’re looking over your shoulder, anxious, vigilant.
Everything is dangerous and people are out to kill you.
Mostly I remember the heat and the fatigue. ”
“Oh, God. That must have been hard to deal with, especially after being home, then having to go back.”
“I barely came home, not here, anyway. It was easier.”
The stream we were in opened up into a wider area and Ethan navigated to a secluded spot where the wildflowers filled the banks and water lilies and rafts of hyacinth crowded the sides of the boat.
Birds tweeted and bullfrogs croaked, the hum of activity intensifying as Ethan cut the engine and anchored us.
Nature was all around us and it was so tranquil.
I wanted to ask him why he hadn’t come home.
But I stayed my question because that would have dragged us into a deeper conversation.
I could feel his aching emotion, hear it in his voice.
A man who was torn between something, but not sure how to steer.
I didn’t want to be Ethan’s sounding board.
I didn’t want to open up to him and have to reveal anything about my past or my problems. It was best for both of us.
I couldn’t take the risk, no matter how much I wanted to soothe him. I was leaving. I had to.
I let the conversation drop and so aware of his presence beside me as the sun sank closer to the horizon, the sky dusted with purple, smeared with a dusky orange and red as the light dimmed.
“What did you do before you came to Suttontowne?”
My stomach jumped, and I folded my arms across my chest. I shrugged. “Boring, menial jobs. Getting by. It’s no secret I was destitute.”
“Have you thought about settling down in one place, putting down roots?”
I rose and walked toward the bow, watching as an alligator splashed into the water from the bank, dark and scaly as it sank below the surface and was gone for a moment, reappearing in the middle of the open stream.
“No. Not really. I keep moving with the jobs.”
I felt him at my back, and I tensed. “You should think about staying in one place,” he said softly. He was close, his breath ruffling my hair.
I worked furiously to tamp down the feelings that Ethan had broken loose, his questions, his presence, and…I closed my eyes when I felt his hand in my hair…his touch. “It looks so pretty down,” he murmured.
He gathered up a handful and let it run through his fingers. I wanted to lean into him, into his warm touch. I shouldn’t want it. This could get so complicated and dangerous.
Warrior, knight, tempting man, my heart ached to confide in him, but I just couldn’t trust myself that far. I had to remain strong.
Except his big hands made me weak, my resolve shaky.
I had known love, and I had known pain both physical and mental.
If it hadn’t been for the love and care I’d experienced from my father, I think I would have been ruined.
But the truth was, I couldn’t let what had been done to me dictate how I interacted with other people.
Some were good, some were indifferent, and others were downright cruel.
Ethan… Ethan . He was one of the good guys, and I knew it in my heart if I told him everything, there would be nothing to hold him back in protecting me.
I wet my lips at the sheer temptation of that thought, even as his hands covered my upper arms and he pulled me back against him.
The heat of him, the thick muscles of his chest, and the way his arms snuggled around me as dusk settled made me feel even more safe and secure.
I knew this would happen. I squeezed my eyes closed.
I wasn’t stupid. The way Ethan had kissed me and the way I had responded to him sent signals, undeniable signals.
Because I had never experienced this before in my life, I wanted it all the more.
Never had a man treated me so tenderly, my own emotions tied up in the mix.
It was like awakening, embracing life and taking something for myself, something potent and real.
How could I deny this? How could I push him away, set some distance?
Ethan took the decision out of my hands and turned me, settling his mouth over mine, his kisses soft, gentle with the skill of a man who knew how to make me melt.
His mouth rubbed and moved over mine, enticing me to soften and respond.
He moved closer, slipping his hands into my hair, threading them in deep, just as his mouth pressed harder, moved a little more insistently.
I’d been careful for so long; I couldn’t believe I was here in his arms after so much fear and isolation.
His mouth moved over mine offering so much, and I greedily took it, tempted and seduced, pushing all my problems, worries, and fears away.
I curled my hands into the soft fabric of his shirt.
Then he slid his arms around me, supporting me against him as I discovered what it meant to fall for someone.
Oh, God . I broke the kiss, and for a moment, clung to him, his mouth brushing my cheek and settling on my neck.
I made a soft sound as tingles rushed through me.
I tightened my hands in his shirt and he pressed his face into the hollow of my throat as if he was trying to get control of himself.
Our breathing was labored and his rushed hot against my skin and all I could think about was how he would feel against me, naked and hard.
I rubbed my cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt, concentrating on the sound of his heartbeat, the feel of the taut muscles beneath my face and the smell of an aroused male that had me responding so completely.
“We shouldn’t do this, Ethan.”
“I know,” he said, then he raised his head and kissed me again.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
He hugged me tighter as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I know that, too. How about we just hang out. Get to know each other better. See where it goes and what happens. After spending a lot of my time in a war zone, I realize how precious life is. Let yourself live a little, Lawson. Let yourself just be for a bit. Suttontowne is a good place for that. Trust me.”
His words washed over me, and I couldn’t argue with him. I was so tired. I needed to rest and this place—right here in his arms—was so heavenly. Trusting him wasn’t the problem. That was easy, but running away. That had become my life. I wasn’t sure that could ever change.
The next day, I couldn’t seem to get all that he had said off my mind.
When there was a knock at the door, I answered really expecting it to be him.
Brax had given me the day off and told me not to come back until tomorrow.
He said I was working way too hard. He was still a waitress down and I was spending my time between food service and doing his books.
So, without anything to do, I was sitting in the window seat looking out at the bayou I was beginning to love.
The woman at the door was exotically pretty with slightly upturned eyes, long dark hair that she had pulled into a ponytail, very little make up and a smile that could light up the dark. “Hello, there, Lawson.”
“Hi. What can I do for you?”
“Oh, nothing, chere . I’m here to see what Ethan has done to the place and how he’s used my antiques.”
“Oh, Mrs. Sutton.” I had asked about the furniture, it was all so quaint and well-matched.
Ethan had confessed that Brax’s momma, Evangeline Sutton, who had married Winchester Sutton, Chase, Jake, and River Pearl’s uncle a couple of years ago had provided most of what filled this cute cottage-like space.
“Ah, no, chere . It’s Evie. Can I come in? I’ve brought you a few more things to brighten up your space.”
“Oh, that is so generous.”
We talked for a full hour after I’d shown her the place.
She was so impressed and I got these intense butterflies in my stomach realizing that Ethan had worked so hard for me.
Solely to make me feel comfortable. After she pulled out the plain white pillow, I caught my breath.
It said: Home: (hom) n., a place of retreat, comfort, rest. One’s dwelling or lodging place; shelter.
Cypress candles that gave my side table next to the gingham couch an earthy feel, a decorative blue bowl she set on the counter in the kitchen and I thought would look great with a bunch of apples in it, and bluebird figurine with a whimsical design.
Before she left, she invited me to lunch with Sam and Sky on my next day off, making me promise to let her know.
When I got back to work the next day, several people asked for my area and I was so surprised how touched I was. I had to take a moment to myself in the restroom. It was getting harder and harder to even think about leaving here, but I had no choice.
They would find me.
It was terrifying and simple.
Run or go back.
And going back was just not an option.