Chapter 24 #2
My old family friend means well, but to be honest, I would rather eat glass. Pounds of it.
“Thank you, but no. I need to check on something for work.” I gesture vaguely toward the West Wing, fully aware there’s nothing on that end of the house beyond a bank of bedrooms in various states of disrepair, but accuracy at this point feels like an optional embellishment.
Mr. Howard takes his leave, disappearing into the crowd, while I stand stock still, willing my pulse to a normal rate.
Tonight is shaping up beautifully so far. Between the mayor’s wife’s cutting glare and Mr. Howard’s stern warning, I feel as welcome as a skunk at a garden party.
Maybe I’ll trip over something and split this dress straight up to my armpit to really give the partygoers something to talk about. Or, better yet, maybe Eddie will stroll in with Romy at his side, and I can throw myself off the unfinished second-floor balcony.
Yep, I need wine and silence. I’m no good around people.
But before I get the chance, I hear my name. Again.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“What now?” I groan, burying my face in my hand.
Note to self—in the future, turn around and see who’s calling your name before you decide to bite someone’s head off. In my case, it’s none other than Nolan Montague. Aka my boss.
That second-floor balcony is looking better and better.
“Good lord,” Nolan says, amusement painting his features. “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”
I wince at my faux pas. “I’m sorry, Nolan. I just… saw a few people I was really hoping to avoid.”
He nods, unsurprised by my admission. “Come on. Let’s you and me take a walk.”
He guides us toward the front entrance and out onto the porch, where he pulls out a cigarette and lights it with practiced ease.
Well, that’s a surprise.
“I didn’t know you smoked.”
“Now you do,” he mutters, exhaling a stream of smoke. “I’m fully aware it’s terrible for me, but I like to partake now and again.”
I raise both hands in a peace offering. “Far be it from me to say a word. Back in the day, I was a smoker too.”
He holds out the pack, but I wave him off. “No, thank you.”
Nolan takes another drag, glancing toward the house. “I invited a few of the power players from the area tonight. Figured if I’m going to have a home here, I need to get to know the people. Learn the lay of the land, so to speak.”
“That’s smart. Sparkwood is small, but there’s a lot of money here.”
“There is, along with a lot of attitude.”
Talk about an understatement.
A brisk breeze cuts across the porch, and I shiver, running my hands over my bare arms in a futile attempt to warm up. “This is what I get for not wearing cozy sweats to your party.”
“Let’s fix that, shall we?” Nolan shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. “There. You’re a little warmer now, right?”
I pull the panels of the jacket tight around me and nod. “Thank you.”
He paces in a slow circle, the cigarette clamped between his fingers. “Look, I’m going to be honest. I’ve had a couple of enlightening conversations about you tonight.”
I stare out into the darkness, bracing for the inevitable. No matter where I go, or what I do, I can’t seem to outrun my past.
Rather, Drake’s past, but why quibble over trivialities?
It won’t matter in the end.
Case in point, it appears I’m about to get fired. Or at the very least, escorted from the premises. So much for my guest of honor title.
He takes another drag before squashing out the cigarette. “There are a lot of people around here with very strong opinions about a situation they clearly don’t understand. Sadly, that’s fairly standard in small-town America. My question is, why do you put up with it?”
Trust me, Nolan, that’s a question I’ve been asking myself for months.
I swallow against the rising emotion. “Sparkwood’s been my family’s home for hundreds of years.”
He nods, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “My family’s home base is Massachusetts, and I love it there.
It’ll always be home. My safety net. But that isn’t the case with you and Sparkwood, and I get the distinct impression that’s been your reality for a while now. Ever since your husband was arrested.”
“Oh, it’s been a blast. Can’t you tell?” I roll my eyes and take a swallow of wine. “Look, if you need me to leave—”
“Actually, yes, but not the party.” Nolan pauses, studying me. “Look, I’ve got a lot of connections in Los Angeles. You need a big city. A place with anonymity and people with far seedier histories than yours.”
My mind scrambles to decipher Nolan’s words. What the hell is he getting at? But before I can figure it out, Eddie strolls into view, and every coherent thought in my head flits right into the ether.
Eddie is a beautiful specimen. Everyone knows that. He’s the total package—face, body, personality, heart—but I have never seen that package wrapped in a suit, and let me tell you, he is a work of art.
He’s the quintessential tall, dark, and handsome, with one noticeable difference. The beard is gone. Completely gone. There’s nothing now to detract from the sharp lines of his face and the full impact of just how devastatingly handsome he is.
And yet, despite the fact that Eddie could be mistaken for a runway model, he also looks uncomfortable as hell, his fingers working around his collar as though the damn thing is trying to strangle him.
He spots us and walks over, his gaze volleying between Nolan and me before landing on the jacket wrapped around my shoulders. “What are you two doing out here? It’s freezing.”
“I needed a cigarette,” Nolan replies, “and I wanted to discuss some business with Kiki.”
Eddie’s eyes drop to the jacket again. “Business,” he repeats, a subtle edge creeping into his voice.
“Yes.” Nolan shrugs, completely unfazed by Eddie’s growing intensity.
“I was about to offer Kiki my guest house in Los Angeles. I think she’d do exceptionally well out there.
Let’s be honest, Sparkwood is a pit of vipers when it comes to her.
We all know it. But Los Angeles? It’s a clean slate with bigger opportunities and bigger clients. ”
My brain short circuits at Nolan’s offer. Yep, it’s official. I’ve fallen into an alternate universe. Alice and her Cheshire buddy have got nothing on me.
I was prepared to leave the party with my tail tucked between my legs, branded with the proverbial scarlet letter. I was not expecting to be handed free room and board at a famous Hollywood director’s house with full access to his network of clients.
“I think it would be a great new start for her. Don’t you agree, Eddie?”
But Eddie’s gaze remains locked on me. “I thought you wanted to stay in Sparkwood.”
I can’t speak. Can’t manage a single word—not to agree, not to negate, not to argue any side.
“Besides,” Nolan cuts in, oblivious to the shift in energy between us, “it’s not like she has anything keeping her here. Isn’t that right, Kiki?”
“Is that true? You have nothing keeping you here? Nothing tying you to Sparkwood?” Eddie searches my face, no doubt looking for the answers I can’t give him.
Don’t you see? There are a million reasons for me to stay, and every one of them has your name on it.
But if I dare admit that fact, it will inevitably bring with it a bevy of questions—questions I can’t answer if I hope to keep you and Theo safe from the toxic embrace of my past.
After several loaded seconds, Eddie averts his gaze and drags a hand through his hair, his emotional armor snapping into place so fast it’s damn near audible. “Well, in that case…” He barks out a harsh laugh. “I guess I’ll get myself a drink. You two have a good night.”
My eyes trail Eddie’s retreating figure as he walks briskly through the front entrance. Now what the hell do I do?
“I should have known.”
Nolan’s words pull me from my daze. “Known what?”
He shrugs, pulling another cigarette from his pack. “I thought Los Angeles was a good option for you. Apparently, I thought wrong.”
“No,” I stammer, not ready to sound the death knell on his offer quite yet. “My life is just really complicated right now.”
He nods, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he lights the cigarette and inhales deeply. “Love always is. But now I know the reason the two of you are magic together.”
I consider playing dumb, but let’s be real, that’s not a role I’ve ever cared to employ, and Nolan Montague would see through my flimsy cover-up regardless.
I pick at the nail polish on my thumb, one of my many newly adopted nervous tics. “It’s that obvious?”
“Yes. On both sides.”
“But…”
Nolan rolls his eyes. The man has no use for my waffling. “Both sides.”
The truth rolls over me like a locomotive, demolishing any further arguments.
Eddie still loves me.
Trust me, I prayed he did. Believed that love, if it was the genuine article, didn’t up and vanish like an extinguished candle. But the last few months have been trying, to say the least, and Eddie has walls a mile high around his heart now.
Hello, dummy, the walls exist because of you.
“I need to go.” I shrug off Nolan’s coat, returning it to him with a hasty thanks.
Nolan waves me off. “Far be it from me to stand in the path of true love.”
My eyes scan the living room crowd as I make my way through the sea of suits and party dresses, my heart beating faster with every step.
Decision time, and it’s a big one. I’m going to tell Eddie everything, the whole ugly, sticky truth. Because I can’t do this anymore. I love him. He loves me. That has to count for something. Screw all the people who think it’s wrong, because it isn’t. It’s beautiful.
And I am so damn tired of missing him.
But then I spot Mr. Howard across the room, engaged in conversation with an elderly gentleman near the newly installed arched window, and my momentary high crashes to the ground as I recall our conversation not fifteen minutes ago.
Easy, Kiki. Let’s remember why you broke up with Eddie in the first place. It had nothing to do with a lack of love. It was the only way to keep him safe.
Reality, you are such a bitch.
Fine, I can’t tell him everything. I can’t mention Deirdre and her custody threat, because there’s no way, at least right now, that it won’t blow up in both of our faces.
But I can tell Eddie about Drake. About the upcoming trial. Explain enough so that he might understand the choices I made weren’t about what I wanted, but what I knew was necessary.
So maybe, just maybe, we can bumble through the next few months before finding our way back to one another.
Most importantly, I can take down my walls first. Let him see the woman he fell in love with and remind him she’s still here. And still waiting.
Come on, universe. For once, be on my side.
It’s then I spot Eddie standing alone at the bar, his back to the crowd, his hand wrapped around a whiskey glass.
I suck in a breath, steadying my resolve.
Let’s do this.