Chapter 29 #2
He glances at me. “Going to give him some crackers before he goes to sleep,” he tells me. It seems like he’s looking for confirmation, which I don’t love, knowing how his ex treated him. He doesn’t need my input to make decisions.
“Good idea,” I respond lightly.
Abbie emerges from the bathroom, guiding Ciarán, who looks like the before and after photo of the same person.
The eyeliner’s gone, his hair’s mussed, and he’s wearing one of Gabe’s old T-shirts that falls almost to his knees.
Thick socks slouch down his calves. He looks way younger than his twenty-nine years.
Ciarán pinches the hem of the shirt and eyes it. “If I stretch this, don’t be mad at me,” he tells Gabe seriously, pointing a finger his way.
“It’s hanging off you,” Gabe says, trying not to laugh. “There’s no way you could stretch it.”
“Oh yeah,” Ciarán giggles, seemingly pleased with his new outfit. He runs his hand over the fabric, humming something to himself.
Gabe leads him to the armchair. “Okay, sit down.”
He does as he’s told and plops down.
“How large were those glasses of wine?” I ask through a laugh, and Ciarán just shrugs as he leans back, closing his eyes.
Gabe brings a blanket over and drapes it over Ciarán. “No falling asleep yet, you need to eat something first.”
“Want Aiden to tuck me into bed,” Ciarán mumbles.
Aiden’s eyes fly to him. “Not happening,” he replies, sounding almost angry.
Ciarán pouts without opening his eyes. “Please, Daddy?” Then he immediately snorts, well aware he’s being a brat.
Aiden grunts out an irritated noise while Gabe purses his lips, clearly amused with his friends antics. He keeps catching my eye, and there’s a sparkle in his.
Abbie settles on the chair arm. “Drink some more water,” she says, brushing his hair back. “And eat a couple of crackers.”
He eats two without argument. Then holds up his water glass and tries to clink it against Aiden’s beer bottle across the space. He misses, sloshes some onto Aiden’s lap, and snickers. “Oops. Bello, I can dry your lap off.”
He goes to move, but Gabe’s rushing over with the tea towel.
“No, no, no. Nope. It’s fine,” he says, sounding panicked about the fact that Ciarán was apparently going to dry Aiden’s lap.
He hands the towel to Aiden, who is red in the face and muttering what the fuck to himself.
I kinda wish Gabe hadn’t interrupted the moment, I’d have loved to see how it played out.
“Keep drinking. You need to go to bed.” Gabe urges.
Ciarán nods, then looks up at Aiden like he’s remembered something urgent. “Hey,” he starts, and we all hold our breath, no idea what he’s gonna come out with, “you’re a good dad.” He wiggles on the chair.
I see the shift in Aiden’s face; he’s almost smiling at Ciarán, until he speaks again. “That’s your only good quality. Well, that and your arms.”
Gabe groans at the backhanded compliment, while Aiden closes his eyes and takes a deep breath like he’s mustering every bit of patience he has.
I have to dip my head as Abbie snorts. I don’t know why, but I just love seeing my best friend get shit from Ciarán.
No, actually, I do know why. He’s so standoffish with Ciarán, and while fatherhood has matured him and he’s more serious now than he ever was, there’s something more there.
Honestly, if I didn’t know Aiden was straight, I’d think they were engaging in some weird foreplay.
Abbie checks her phone and sighs. “I should go before I have to sleep on your floor,” she says. She leans in and kisses Ciarán’s hair. “I love you, you little mess.”
“Me too,” Gabe adds softly.
A sad sound escapes Ciarán’s lips as he ducks his head, hair covering his face. Gabe crouches in front of him and squeezes his shoulder. “Let’s get you into bed.”
Ciarán nods and stands waving to us all, then he threads his fingers through Gabe’s as they head for the hall. He starts swinging their hands like their children, giggling while Gabe gives him an indulgent smile.
It does something to me—watching Gabe be so sweet and carefree like that. It’s an innocent type of joy most adults could never have.
But then he looks back at me over his shoulder.
The smile is there, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes; there’s a question in them.
I tip my chin toward their hands. Yeah, I see it.
I don’t mind it. I like that he has people he loves and cares for, and who feel the same about him in return.
He deserves that. I give him a warm smile and wink, hoping it shows I see no problem here.
There’s no judgment, and there never will be.
That smile finally blooms into something real, lines near his eyes crinkling, as they enter Gabe’s room.
Abbie catches my eye, smirking with her brows raised. “Package deal,” I state with a shrug. I can see from her face that’s what she wanted to hear.
“Okay,” Aiden says under his breath. He grabs his jacket and looks at Abbie. “I’ll walk you out.”
Gabe comes back into the hall as they’re leaving. At the door, Abbie kisses Gabe’s cheek and squeezes my forearm. “Text if you need help with him. He never gets drunk, he didn’t really have that much, so hopefully he’s okay.”
“We’ve got him,” I say, placing my hand on the small of Gabe’s back.
“Yeah. We’ll be fine,” Gabe says, leaning into me. “Let me know when you’re home.”
They head down together, voices low on the stairs. The apartment goes quiet. Gabe stands by the island, looking down the hall, mind still worrying about his friend. I walk over and lean beside him, shoulders touching.
He looks at the counter while he talks. “It… means a lot. What you said earlier. About him staying. That’s really important to me, that you care about them.
” He swallows. “My ex didn’t like them much.
He’d make me feel guilty for spending time with them.
Like I should want to be alone more. Or only with him. So, thank you.”
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty for them,” I say. “They’re part of you. I like seeing you with them. Seeing you… like this.” I nod toward him. “Hovering, fussing. It’s sweet.” I lean in and place a chaste kiss on his cheek. “You’re sweet.”
He finally looks at me. The expression on his face is open and a little raw. “I’m still getting used to it,” he says in a whisper. “Having someone who doesn’t mind if I’m… soft. Who wants me… as I am.”
“I do,” I say, stepping closer, and his forehead meets mine. “Exactly as you are.” He releases an uneven breath, and the warm air lands on my mouth. I press my lips to his in a tender kiss.
“Thank you,” he whispers against my mouth. I feel the words, they’re not just about tonight.
“Always.”
When we ease apart, we don’t go far. Gabe takes my hand, and our fingers slot together. He glances toward the hall.
“I put Ciarán in my bed,” he says, voice trembling slightly.
“You can take my room,” I offer on instinct, like fuck am I letting Gabe sleep on the couch. “I’ll crash on the sofa.”
He hesitates, grip tightening on my hand, and when he looks at me again, there’s something unsure in his expression.
“We could share your bed,” he says softly. There’s a pause, then a shaky exhale. “Just to sleep. If that’s okay?”
My heart pinches. I’d give anything to spend the night holding him—but the fact that he felt the need to clarify, to make sure I wouldn’t expect anything from him just because he’s near me—hits me hard. Makes me want to be even gentler with him. Take care of him in all the ways that matter.
“Yeah,” I say, stroking my thumb along his hand. “Of course that’s okay.”
He nods, almost to himself, then lets me lead the way down the hall.
The room is dim, only the glow from the streetlights outside filtering in through the curtains.
I pull my hoodie over my head while Gabe sits on the edge of the bed, taking off his socks.
The sight of him there, trembling fingers curled in the hem of his cardigan like he’s not sure what to do with it, breaks my heart.
I cross the room and sit beside him. “You sure you don’t want me to take the sofa?” I ask quietly. “I really don’t mind.”
He shakes his head, still looking at the floor, then peeks up through his lashes. “I know I’m being stupid, we’ve shared a bed before.” He huffs out a self-deprecating laugh.
I brush my knuckles along the back of his hand. “You’re not… you’re allowed to feel nervous.”
He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and holding it. When they flutter open, he looks a bit more settled, his fingers close around mine, and he squeezes. “I want to stay here with you. I liked waking up beside you.”
“Me too.”
Waking to the feel of him, the warm scent of amberwood and lavender was a dream.
I kiss his cheek and stand, grabbing sleep clothes for us both.
We change in silence, Gabe turning away when he pulls off his cardigan and folds it neatly on the desk chair.
I catch flashes of pale skin as he swaps his shirt for a sleep tee, the muscles in his back shifting under the fabric.
My mouth goes dry, but I force my gaze to the nightstand, so I don’t invade his privacy.
I put on sweats and a hoodie. I’ll probably spend the night sweating, but I want to give him that barrier between us.
When we crawl under the covers, we end up lying on our sides, facing each other, a cautious foot of space between us.
My pulse pounds in my ears, my body thrumming with the nearness of him.
I don’t want to push, but the longing in my heart won’t let me stay silent.
“Can I hold you?” The words come out gruffer than I meant, like they’d been waiting in my throat a lifetime to finally be freed.
For a second, he just blinks rapidly. Then, slowly, he nods and shuffles to turn the other way. I close the space until my chest is against his back and my arm slides around his middle. He exhales, sinking back into me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and never thought I’d have.
I tuck my face against his hair and breathe him in. His fingers burrow under my sleeve to rest over my forearm, lightly brushing the hair there. How much I want him is overwhelming—my body very aware of his when we’re this close, every shift and breath—but underneath it is deeper emotion.
I want him to feel safe here.
Safe with me.
“Go to sleep, baby,” I murmur against his hair, placing a gentle kiss there.
He hums in response, already halfway there.
I stay awake longer, holding him, memorizing the shape of him in my arms.
I want every day to end just like this.