Chapter 40 NOAH
NOAH
I wake to the bed shaking. Gabe is bouncing beside me. Literally.
I crack open one eye and see him kneeling at the edge of the mattress, grinning. His waves are wild from sleep, cheeks flushed, phone clutched in his hand like a trophy. We fell asleep curled up together after last night, and waking up to him like this feels like a dream I never want to end.
“Guess what?”
“You’re too excited for six a.m.,” I mutter, but I’m already smiling.
“It’s seven.” He laughs, then flops beside me and shoves his phone in my face.
If it’s another article about homemade tea blends, I might propose on the spot.
I blink, focusing on his phone, it’s an email from Wild Fern.
Hi Gabe,
So glad to hear from you.
We have multiple authors that are looking to hold events soon.
We want to highlight Queer joy in the community, and Evergreen Books would be a perfect partner.
Send me your availability and we can work together.
I sit up quickly. “Gabe, this is amazing. It sounds like you might get multiple events from this.”
“I know!” He's practically vibrating. I swear he could power the entire bookstore with the energy he’s giving off.
His excitement lights every inch of him, making him glow.
Seeing Gabe so alive, so bright, hits me hard.
There’s something breathtaking about witnessing his joy, it's like I'm seeing him finally standing in a place that once felt unreachable.
“That’s incredible,” I say, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “You deserve this, baby. You’ve worked so hard.”
He launches into ideas before I can even rub the sleep from my eyes. His hands move wildly as he talks, expressive and eager and beautiful.
I pull him into my lap and kiss him, making him beam. “I’m gonna do it. I’m really gonna do it.” His smile wobbles, and tears stream down his flushed cheeks. I hold him tighter and kiss his temple while murmuring, “Yeah, you are. You’re amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
I cradle his face in my hands and look into those shining, sparkling moss-green eyes. He leans into my touch with a soft sound. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I feel... happy. Like, actually happy.”
My heart’s close to bursting. Those three words that circle my mind nonstop when I look at him are on the tip of my tongue.
I want to see this look on his face every chance I get.
I want us to grow together and support each other.
Be each other’s person. Maybe even one day.
.. have kids. I’ve always thought I’d like to be a father someday, but the idea was always abstract; I can see it so clearly in my mind’s eye now.
I can see him with a child in his arms, our child, laughter in his eyes.
“It’s scary,” he whispers, breaking through my thoughts.
There’s a tremor in his voice as more tears fall.
“Feeling like this. I know it won’t be every day, but I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel like this again.
” When his eyes meet mine, I hate that the joy he held a moment ago is dimming. “I’m afraid to be this happy.”
There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing he’s struggling to accept good things happening. I wrap my arms around him and press my lips to his neck.
“You deserve to be happy,” I tell him, adoration pouring from me in waves. He rests his head against mine, and we stay like that for a while.
As I make us tea, Gabe sits at the kitchen table with his laptop and officially activates the Evergreen Books online store. I catch him holding his breath as he hits the publish button.
“Done. I can’t wait to tell the guys at breakfast,” he says softly.
I lean down to kiss his temple. “Proud of you.”
“Thank you. Run before we meet the others at Kindle’s?” he asks.
“Of course.”
“Okay, spill,” Ciarán demands, it’s a blanket request, apparently. Not even looking up from the muffin he’s cutting into four pieces, he hands one to Rose with a sweet curve of his lips, and I see the warm smile on Aiden’s face. Maybe that’s all those two need to get along, a toddler buffer.
Abbie perks up. “Well, I had a date.”
Ciarán mutters something about someone named Greg. Then narrows his eyes. “Alright, gimme the goods. Did you get laid, Abigail?” He covers his mouth as he whispers laid, making sure Rose doesn’t hear it, which makes me laugh.
She winks. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Ciarán groans dramatically. “Sweet baby Lucifer. What’s a guy gotta do for some details? You won’t give them, Gabe won’t give them. I still don’t know how big Noah is, and I keep asking and asking. Am I just meant to use my imagination?”
I choke on my tea, eyes going wide. Gabe pats my back while laughing. Holy shit, what do they talk about?
“Maybe you should stop being so nosy,” Aiden grunts as he glares at Ciarán.
“Nobody asked you,” Ciarán replies flatly. It’s a dismissal if ever I’ve heard one. He turns back to Rose, giving her smile. She’s currently making grabby hands for Gabe.
Gabe chuckles and leans down, letting her pat his cheek with chubby fingers.
“Gentle, sweetheart,” Gabe says softly.
Rose giggles and babbles at him, grabbing a lock of his hair. Gabe’s eyes glitter with affection, turning me into a puddle.
Theo leans toward Aiden. “I have that rose sketch done for you. Still thinking about a thigh piece, too?”
“Yeah, man,” Aiden replies, eyes shifting between Ciarán and Theo. “Balance out the sleeve. Different florals, maybe in the same style.”
“You sticking to black, or gonna get some color this time?” I ask.
He shakes his head, but before he can answer, Ciarán perks up. “I love a slutty little thigh tattoo. Oh! What if you got my name on your inner thigh while you’re at it.”
Aiden blows a weighted breath from his lungs. He looks like he’s had enough. “Excuse me?” he responds blankly.
Ciarán bites his lip, eyes dancing. “You heard me.”
Theo raises a brow at them, his face going red, holding back a laugh. “Well, isn’t that an idea.”
Aiden clears his throat and looks away, shaking his head.
Gabe murmurs to Rose, “What do you think? Should Papa get a tattoo of Ciarán’s name?”
She squeals and smacks the table.
“I’d take that as a yes,” I say, grinning into Gabe’s shoulder.
Ciarán looks far too pleased with himself. I’d feel a little bad that we’re all ganging up on my best friend, but he kinda deserves it. He acts so differently around Ciarán, his usually chill playfulness nowhere to be found.
Abbie elbows Ciarán in the side and shifts the conversation. “Well, that got sidetracked… as usual when Ciarán is around. I’m going out with Paul again next week.”
Ciarán’s face takes on an unreadable expression, before smoothing out as he mouths a very unapologetic, “Sorry.”
“Paul?” Gabe asks.
“The guy my sister set me up on a blind date with,” she says. “He’s cute. Real sweet. He’s a teacher, too. I think he’s got dog energy in a cat’s body.”
“Are we even speaking English anymore?” Ciarán mutters in a bored tone.
“You know, like... loyal golden retriever in the body of a panther.”
Theo raises his coffee. “To whatever the hell that means.”
“To genetic confusion?” I add, causing Theo to snort.
As the food arrives and conversation flows, the table fills with laughter and clinking cutlery. Gabe feeds Rose some pancake while she chatters away happily. Her speech is really coming along. Aiden watches, his face softening.
I can’t stop looking at Gabe. How natural he is with her. He looks so relaxed now, it’s a far cry from the first brunch outing we had. He glances up and catches me staring, and my heart does a somersault.
As we linger over the last sips of coffee, Theo leans back, speaking to Gabe. “You excited about doing more events?”
I’m glad Theo is showing an interest in Gabe. I’d love for them to be friends. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have true friends, in addition to Aiden, of course. And I want to share that with Gabe.
“I am,” Gabe says happily. “Dani asked me to do an event at the store in the next few months for a pretty big author. I’m looking forward to it. I want the store to get more exposure.”
“And it will,” I say, reaching for his hand under the table.
He smiles at me, the kind that makes me forget anyone else is in the room.
“Let me know if you need any help with the events, you know I’m always available for you,” Ciarán offers.
“Me too,” Abbie chimes in.
“I’d love that, maybe we could all meet and talk about event ideas I have for the store, too.
Tuesday could be good… we could go to Micah’s.
” Gabe’s eyes flick between Ciarán and Abbie.
There’s such a hopefulness in Gabe’s voice.
I know he looks at the coffee kiosk each week, but I haven’t seen him go.
He’s managed to go to so many other places in the last few months.
I don’t really understand what’s been stopping him from going there yet, but hearing him make plans to go fills me with pride.
I put my arm around his shoulder and kiss his temple, making him giggle as he leans into me. I could live on that sound alone; who needs air?
Abbie’s eyes look red-rimmed as she beams at Gabe. When I look at Ciarán, all the playfulness has dropped from his face, his mouth is slightly parted as his eyes flick around the table and settle back on Gabe. The smile on his face could rival the sun. “We’d love that.”
I palm Gabe’s arm gently, and he rests his head on my shoulder. Utter perfection.
As the group slowly disperses, Aiden hoists a sleepy looking Rose onto his hip and turns to me and Gabe.
“Thanks for this. Nice to have a get-together when I have Rose. She loves seeing everyone.”
“Yeah, we should do it more,” Gabe replies brightly.
Ciarán gives Aiden a slow perusal and huffs. “Well, considering I’m the one who organized it, you’re welcome.”
Abbie rolls her eyes. “Leave it alone, C. You two are exhausting.”
Aiden clears his throat and looks at Ciarán in a way I haven’t seen before. It’s almost… friendly, then he mutters, “Thanks.”
Everyone’s eyes go wide, and Ciarán’s mouth parts into a shocked expression before schooling his features. He nods in acknowledgement while looking around, avoiding eye contact like he’s uncomfortable with Aiden being pleasant.
Theo rolls his lips between his teeth, trying to contain a smile. He leans in and whispers something in Ciarán’s ear, and whatever it was gets him a swift elbow to the gut. Theo grunts before walking outside, tears of laughter streaming down his cheeks.
I walk out beside Aiden while Gabe and Ciarán lag behind, still debating something about upcoming events the store could take part in. Theo is across the road, talking to Abbie while smoking a joint, leaning against his bike.
“You good?” I ask my friend.
“Yeah. Of course,” he responds absentmindedly. “Anyway. Gotta go, man, this little lady is due a nap.”
He calls goodbye to everyone as Rose waves and shouts, “Bye-bye, Kee!”
Gabe and I split from the rest and walk back to the store hand in hand. He opens the door and flicks on the lights. I linger for a moment, just watching him.
He turns and catches me looking again.
“What?” he asks. That shy smile I love so much making an appearance.
“Nothing,” I say, heart fuller than it's ever been. I bump his shoulder with mine. “Just... you.”
His smile grows. He gives me a little hip check.
“Yeah. Just… you too.” He chuckles before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.
The start of a whole life is growing here. One I want more than anything. And I’m the lucky bastard who gets a front-row seat to Gabe Shaw shining brightly.