Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Emma
T he ride back to the ranch was done in near silence, and I didn’t understand why—at all. I knew the sex was good, but something had shifted after it was over. Mason seemed to be lost in himself, and I didn’t want to ask him why. I was worried it would just lead to worsening the sick feeling in my stomach. The moonlight illuminated the night, and it was honestly beautiful…
And a shame that the night was dampened by whatever was going on in Mason’s mind.
“It’s a really nice evening,” I said, trying to keep my voice light as the barn came into view. My thighs were aching from the saddle and the sex, and with the way Mason had retreated, I was more than ready to get to my car.
“It is pretty nice,” he replied, his eyes focused on the open barn door. A faint light shone out into the darkness, and he took a deep breath—or maybe it was a sigh of relief—as we finally stepped into the lighting.
I slid off the horse as soon as we were in the aisleway, ready to bolt for the exit. Mason must’ve been ready to get rid of me, too.
“I’ll take care of Jett. I know that it’s getting late. You can just go ahead and get home. I know your place opens early.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay, thanks…” I gave the horse a soft pat, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment when Mason wasn’t looking. “I’ll see you around,” I forced out before taking a step toward the exit.
“Emma, wait…” He sounded defeated.
I stopped and turned to look at him, his expression matching the tone in his voice. “What?”
“I just… I just don’t really do relationships, and I don’t really date.”
Ah, so he just wanted to hook up with me.
“Okay, thanks for letting me know,” I said, my tone growing sharp. “It would’ve been nice for you to tell me that before taking me on a date though… It’s not very considerate.”
“It’s not like that,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m just being honest with you?—”
“Thank you,” I cut him off, not letting him get another word in before heading to my car. I knew what would come next. He would throw some stupid, shallow compliments at me—like the sex was good or I was just too beautiful to resist—and then he’d tell me that was all it could be.
Yeah, I knew how men like Mason worked.
I ripped my car door open and slid into the driver’s seat, growing angry at myself for even agreeing to the date. I should’ve known when we hooked up in the lounge that it would never amount to anything. Hook ups never did.
The tires growled, spewing gravel everywhere as I backed up and then stomped the gas. Shooting down the driveway, I glanced at the time. There was a good chance Lily would still be awake, and I couldn’t think of anyone I needed more in that moment.
“Hey?” Lily answered, sounding surprised to hear from me. “I guess your date is over. How’d it go?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “It wasn’t a real date. It was just an excuse to get me into his bed.”
“What? I didn’t think he was that kind of guy…”
“Well, I guess you don’t ever really know someone. I seriously had the time of my life, and then the moment he was finished, he just shut it all off. We made the ride back to the ranch in almost complete silence. It was seriously the worst.” I fought the urge not to cry as I pulled out on the main road, heading back to town.
“Wow, what a jerk,” Lily sounded just as injured as I felt. “I never expected something like that from Mason. Maybe he’s just not sure what he’s doing, you know? He has been through a lot—and maybe he didn’t mean it the way you took it.”
“I don’t know,” I hesitated. I had maybe jumped the gun, making my own assumptions… But in the moment, it seemed really clear what he was trying to get across, especially with the way he had acted afterward.
“I’ve been taking everything wrong this time of the month,” Lily let out a sigh. “I thought Drew was purposefully hurting my feelings earlier this evening, and he was just trying to figure out what to make for dinner.”
“Oof,” I laughed softly. “Maybe that’s all it is for me…” My voice trailed off as I thought about it harder. “What’s the date?”
“Um, the seventeenth, why?”
My heart dropped to my stomach as the realization slammed into me. “Oh my god…”
“What?!” Lily exclaimed. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m… I’m over a week late, and I didn’t even realize it. I don’t feel any different than I normally do.”
“No way…” She gasped. “Do you… Do you have a test?”
“Uh… I don’t think so.” Panic was building in my chest as I tried to rack my brain for the last time I had even thought about such a thing. “I think the drug store is closed by now, too.”
“I have one here. Just come by. Drew is already in bed, and I think Dara and Jess are, too. We can go out to the guesthouse, if you want.”
“There’s no way that I could be pregnant,” I said, trying to sound convincing. “We used protection at the dance…”
“Yeah, and I used protection when I got pregnant with Dara, too. I was only eighteen when that happened, and yet here I am with a sixteen-year-old daughter. It happens sometimes, and the condom Drew used that night was questionable.”
I groaned as I thought about the ancient condom Mason had pulled out of his wallet the night we hooked up. “I don’t know what I’ll do…”
“Um, let’s just take it one step at a time. I’ll meet you at the guesthouse.”
Ugh.
I paced back and forth as the timer counted down. “What am I supposed to do if this is positive?” I asked, not sure if I was saying it to myself or to Lily, who tapped her foot anxiously on the tile floor. “I don’t even know what my mom would say if she found out that I was having a kid out of wedlock.”
“Well, I think that should be the last thing you worry about,” Lily commented, her tone flat. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a messy bun, and honestly, her nerves weren’t helping the situation. “If it’s positive, then you’re having a baby—if that’s what you want.”
My heart squeezed, emotions flooding my chest. “Of course, I’d want to. I’ve always wanted a baby… There’s just never been the right guy in the picture.”
“Now you might get to have one anyway,” Lily said, her eyes meeting mine. “And I know Mason is an amazing father to Jess, even if he works all the time. He’s a good person.”
“Except when it comes to women that aren’t related to him,” I snorted, letting the frustration out. “He just wanted to satisfy his dick, Lily. That’s all this was about. I’ve fallen into that kind of shit more times than I want to admit.”
“Okay, but…” Lily’s voice trailed off. “Sometimes the guy was head over heels for you, and you didn’t return the sentiment. You’re a heartbreaker, Emma. It’s okay to embrace that. You’re a boss bitch, not some pathetic woman that gets used by men.”
I stopped, nearly laughing at the attempt at a pep talk. “That might be true in some cases, but not this one. I was willing to just jump right off with Mason—well, sort of, anyway. My curiosity outweighed everything in the moment.”
“And now you get to rock him with the news of a baby,” Lily’s words came out uneven as she picked up the pregnancy test, her eyes like saucers. “Because that’s definitely pregnant.”
I grabbed the test from her hand, my jaw dropping as I stared at two very bold lines. “Maybe this test is old.”
“I bought it last month when I was two days late. I started my period before I ever made it home… So it’s definitely not old.”
My heart pounded so hard it rattled my brain. “Oh my god…” I couldn’t decide how I felt in the moment, a strange excitement mixing with anxiety. If I had just magically become pregnant, I would’ve been ecstatic…
But after what happened with Mason tonight…
Shit.
“He doesn’t want a relationship, why would he want a kid?” I choked out, finally getting the courage to meet Lily’s gaze.
“That’s not really an option… It takes two to tango.”
I pursed my lips, setting down the test on the counter. “Maybe I should just not tell him right now.”
“Maybe that is a terrible idea.”
“But what if he changes his mind? What if the baby makes him suddenly want to be in a relationship with me?”
Lily’s brows furrowed. “Would that be such a bad thing? Didn’t you just say that you were willing to consider something with him?”
“Well, yeah… But I don’t want some guy to be with me solely because I’m having their child. I’ve seen how those kinds of relationships work out—and it’s not a good thing. I refuse to trap some guy with a pregnancy.”
“But you wouldn’t be trapping him. He could easily just say that he wants to co-parent.”
“I have a feeling that Mason is traditional…” My voice trailed off as my mind started to picture the four of us as a family. What would Jess think about it? My stomach knotted up. “Maybe I should just move back to Austin. ”
“What?!” Lily startled backward. “No! Don’t leave. Everything is going so well here. I don’t want to see you go—and what about your café?”
“I could just let Sarah run it, and I could go back to Austin, maybe try to open up a second one.” My head was buzzing with some kind of answer that didn’t end with having to face Mason.
“And so what? You’re going to try and manage two places while being pregnant and then having a baby? It took everything you had to just get one up and going. I think you should really consider just… taking a few deep breaths. We can figure this out. You don’t have to rush off to tell him. I didn’t tell Drew until I was in the second trimester and knew for sure it was a viable pregnancy.”
“That gives me, what? A month?”
“A lot can happen in a month…” Lily said, giving me a sympathetic smile. “I don’t think you should just throw in the towel. I haven’t seen Mason with anyone in years—like I’ve told you over and over. I think that maybe you should still see where things go with him. For all you know, he’s just scared. I know his ex-wife broke his heart.”
I forced myself to take a deep breath, desperate to calm the anxiety that was threatening to morph into a full-blown panic attack. “Okay, maybe I’m not being rational… It’s just… I could get really hurt.”
“I never said that you should chase him,” my best friend clarified, folding her arms across her chest. “All I’m saying is that maybe you shouldn’t move towns overnight. We’ll keep this between the two of us for now. We don’t want the news hitting town. Eventually though,” she paused, letting out a sigh. “It will be impossible to hide, but hopefully by then, you’ll have things figured out with Mason.”
My heart skipped a beat as I revisited that hypothetical scenario. “I barely even know the guy.”
“And he barely knows you, too. But I do know Mason, as does Drew. He’s not a bad guy. He just… has some issues.”
Obviously.