Chapter Eighteen #3
He chuckled and backed up to the bed, sitting down on it without letting go of her. "There's no such thing as too seriously. I'm taking it very seriously indeed." He shifted her so he could see her face. "Engineering our happily ever after is my most important mission in life now."
She didn't know what to do with that, so she slapped his arm and said something she knew was true. "Your most important mission at the moment is figuring out how to get House of St. James back on track."
His expression sobered a little. "Granted, that's important too. But they kind of go together, if you think about it."
"They do?"
"Yeah. Helping Dad is something we're doing together. And the way I see it, working together—having a shared goal in life—will only bring us closer."
"Do you really think you're going to give up flying?" she asked.
"I'll never give it up completely. I want to get you and Zia up there, apart from anything else. But… who knows. Maybe things will go so well for House of St. James that we'll need a plane of our own."
She just stared at him. Part of her thought he was joking—another part wasn't so sure. Half his friends had their own planes.
He seemed to pick up on her hesitation. "Not that I'm saying we'd ever want one. But…" He shook his head. "Anyway. That's all stuff we can figure out as we go along. For now, I want to know how you're feeling. You look tired."
She made a face. "I have no right to be tired. I've done nothing all day. I spent half of it sleeping."
He tapped the end of her nose, as he sometimes did with Zia. It made her smile. She couldn't help it.
"That was your assignment for this weekend, remember? All you have to do is rest, sleep, eat well." He smiled. "And hang out with me when you can."
"You know how hard that is for me, Reaves." She stopped herself. "Well—not the hanging out with you part. I like that part."
"I do too."
"But where's Z?"
He chuckled. "She's out watering the sunflowers with Dad right now. Telling him all about Homer."
She closed her eyes. "I probably shouldn't have let her go to the shelter, should I?"
"Why not?"
"Because she's wanted a dog forever. And we just can't."
He frowned. "Why not?"
"You know how we live, Reaves. We can't have a dog in the camper; it wouldn't be fair. And with my work—you saw how it was at Jacob and Becca's wedding. I can keep Zia with me, mostly. And when I can't, I can find someone to watch her. But a dog as well…" She stopped. "What?"
His face had gone incredibly still.
"Reaves, what's wrong? What did I say?"
He exhaled slowly before he spoke. "I meant what I said before, Alara."
"Which bit?"
His eyebrows came together. "When I told you that I love you. I mean it."
She reached up to touch his cheek. "And I mean it too."
"So why are you talking about going back to live in your camper?"
She inhaled sharply. "I… I…" She shook her head. "Because that's where we live?"
"I thought you lived here now."
"We're staying here with your dad. Because… you know why."
He nodded. "I know why you came here. Because Ollie offered to put you on his payroll so you could get health insurance. But he didn't have any work for you, and Dad needed help with the brand design. That's why you came here."
She nodded slowly, not understanding where he was going.
"But that's not why you're staying here."
"It's not?"
"I didn't think so. In my mind, you're staying because we're part of your life now. You're part of my life." He rested his forehead against hers. "We're in each other's lives. This is our life. Isn't it?"
She closed her eyes. "I'd like to think so."
"Then why don't you?"
She opened her eyes and leaned back. "Because it's going to take some getting used to, Reaves. Please don't be mad at me."
"Hey." He tightened his arms around her. "I'm not mad. I'm trying to tread carefully. And I'm sorry—I shouldn't have just assumed. But I want you guys to stay. I want the question of when you're leaving, and whether you're leaving, to be answered—that you're not. Because you're staying. Here."
She looked around the room. "I've tried not to think about this, Reaves. But we're in your dad's house. The kind of house I wouldn't have expected to ever set foot in. And I can't expect him to let us stay indefinitely."
"You'll break his heart if you leave."
"I'm not saying I want to, but…" She shrugged. "It's a conversation that needs to be had. Once the branding's done, he won't need me anymore."
He tapped gently on the side of her head.
"When am I going to get it through to you that it's about want, not need?
There's no duty or obligation involved on anyone's part here.
This is just about people who find each other and somehow become family.
And I feel like that's what we've done. I know Dad feels the same way.
" He leaned back. "But if I'm putting too much pressure on you. If this isn't—"
She squeezed his arm. "It is what I want, Reaves. It's just hard to believe it's true, you know."
"I can see that. So, I'll drop it for now. At least on the surface," he added with a smile.
"And what does that mean will be going on under the surface?"
"That I'll be proving it to you. Every day, until you stop waiting for it to end."