Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
MILLIE
“ H ow many grandmas do you have?” I press my phone to my ear and scowl as I lean my hip against the counter and absently wipe a rag over it. “Because this is the sixth one that’s died in the past six months, Shelly.”
“Uh, well?—”
“And don’t forget that we live in the same small town, and I’ve known your family longer than you have.”
“Millie—”
I roll my eyes, listening as the sixteen-year-old stammers through a bunch of excuses. Shelly is notorious for calling out, whether it’s because she claims to be sick or because a mythical grandmother has sadly crossed to the other side.
I’d have fired her sooner, but I’m short-staffed.
Looks like I’m even more shorthanded now than before.
“Shelly,” I interrupt her tirade about why she needs to spend more time with her boyfriend. “I’m too busy to do this with you. I get it. You’re not coming in tomorrow.”
My one and only day off.
“But,” I continue, “you won’t be coming in at all. This is the last straw for me. Good luck to you.”
I hang up and sigh. I am not giving up my day off tomorrow. And since I no longer have the second staff member for the day, I’ll have to close down the shop.
It’s not my favorite solution, but damn it, I’m fucking exhausted. Not to mention, I have plans for the whole day that I can’t shift.
“You okay, boss?”
I turn to Candy, the one employee that I can count on for literally anything, and sigh.
“Shelly’s done. Which means I need to close down tomorrow.”
“Cool, I can use the day off,” she says with a smile. “But it sucks for you. I have a couple of friends who are moving to town and might need jobs.”
“A couple of friends?” I ask her. Candy’s in her mid-twenties and has worked here since she was in high school. She’s a total ski bum in the winter and a sun goddess in the summer.
“Yeah, they want to be here for the summer, and they’re coming early.”
“But that means they probably won’t be here long term.”
“Maybe they’ll love working for you as much as I do, and they’ll never want to leave.” Candy bats her eyelashes at me, making me laugh. “At the very least, it’ll get us through the summer rush.”
“You have a point.” I push my hand through my hair, remembering that I need to put it up in a ponytail. “Okay, have them come see me. They’ll need references.”
“No problem.” Candy turns to take a customer’s order.
“I’ll be right back. I have to grab more medium cups.”
Hurrying to the stockroom, I make a detour to pull a scrunchie out of my purse and throw my hair up into a high pony, then I grab some sleeves of cups before returning to the dining room, smiling at Beckett Blackwell, who happens to be placing an order right now.
“Hey, Beck,” I say with a smile as I stow the cups away. “How’s it going?”
“Can’t complain,” he says with that easygoing smile. Of all the Blackwell brothers, Beckett is the most laid-back. He’s just a big ol’ sexy-as-all-get-out teddy bear. “How are you, Mill?”
“All in all, things could be worse.” I wink at him and turn to make his coffee.
I love it when my shop is bustling like it is right now. Not just because it means that I’ll have a profitable day, but because I enjoy seeing the people from my town that I love so much. I know that Bitterroot Valley is growing, but the connections from my childhood are still here, too.
Just after I pass Beckett his cup, I turn and find Holden Lexington standing on the other side of the counter, and my heart jumps into my freaking throat.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Warn a girl, will you?
It’s been eight years, and still, every time I lay my eyes on this man, my entire being longs for him. And after the shit he’s put me through, that just pisses me right off.
“Hey.” Good, Millie. Keep your voice neutral. You’ve got this. “What would you like today?”
“My usual.”
“And that is?” I know exactly what it is. Medium roast, black, one sugar. But I’ll never let him know that I remember his drink. He doesn’t get even that much from me.
He narrows those blue eyes, and my stomach flutters.
Stop it.
“Coffee. Black. One sugar.” I hate it when he watches me with those eyes that see too fucking much. Eyes that used to look at me as if he loved me. As if he couldn’t get enough of me. As if I hung the goddamn moon.
Of course, that’s ancient history.
“Ah, yes, that’s right.” I tap his order onto the screen of the computer. I always feel so awkward with him. So, I try to fill the silence with small talk. “What are you up to today?”
“Headed to the lawyer’s office.” He taps his card on the screen, paying for his coffee, and I can’t help but watch his hands as he pushes the card back into his wallet. I know from experience that Holden has really good hands, and he knows what to do with them. “Will reading.”
That brings my gaze back up to his, and I can’t help but soften toward him just a bit. I can’t imagine losing my own dad. I know that Holden was not as close to his father, but still, I’m not a complete ice witch. “I’m sorry, Holden.”
“Yeah, well. Have to get it over with.” He shrugs as if it’s nothing, but I know it’s not nothing by the way his whole body just tensed up.
I might despise this man, and the wounds still ache, even though it’s been so many years since he broke my heart—or, you know, tore it out of my chest and set it on fire—but I still know him.
And that’s its own special, horrible hurt.
“I was sorry to hear about your dad.” My voice is softer, and I can tell by the way Holden’s muscles relax a bit that he believes me. He simply nods again, and I take that as my cue to turn and get his coffee ready.
I know exactly how he likes it. He doesn’t just want one sugar. It’s more like one and a half. After stirring it, I snap on the lid and turn to give it to him.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Good luck.”
He turns away and walks out, and I have to take a long, deep breath to get my body to calm the fuck down.
He doesn’t want you, you idiot. He made that crystal clear. You have got to let this go.
Thankfully, we’re busy the entire day, which makes the hours pass quickly. Before I know it, Candy has locked the door and we’re cleaning up the espresso machine and mopping the floor, and I’ve counted the till and stowed the cash away in the safe.
“Well, boss, have a good day off tomorrow,” Candy says, after looping her purse across her body. “I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Have fun,” I reply with a grin and walk the short two blocks home to my apartment.
I like my place, and it totally suited my needs in the past, but lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve outgrown it, so I’ve decided to move. I’ll be renting Polly’s house just a few blocks over. I need tomorrow to get most of my stuff moved and settled in so I can clean the apartment for the next tenant.
I grew up on a ranch twenty minutes outside of town, and once I was old enough to make those kinds of decisions, I knew that I didn’t want to stay that far away from civilization.
I’m a town girl. Not a ranch girl.
Don’t get me wrong, I do love our family ranch. The mountains are spectacular, and I like helping with branding and vaccinations on the calves in the spring.
But I do not want to live out there.
“Hi, Hazel.” I offer my elderly neighbor, Hazel Henderson, a wave as I unlock my door. That woman is nosy as hell and always pokes her head out the door to see who’s out here whenever I come home, and I’m going to miss her after I move.
“Hi, Millie. Did you have a good day, dear?”
“It was fine, thank you. How’s the corn on your foot?”
I shouldn’t know about Hazel’s corn, but she likes to tell me about all of her ailments.
“What’s that?”
She must have her hearing aid turned down, so I point to my own ear, and she hurries to adjust her volume.
“How’s the corn on your foot?” I repeat.
“Oh, I went to the podiatrist yesterday. They took it out. It’s sore today, but I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”
“Well, you go take it easy, Hazel. I’ll see you later.”
I let myself inside and toss my keys and purse on the floor by the door, kick out of my shoes, and walk straight past all the packed boxes to my bedroom, where I strip out of the clothes I’ve worn all day and then flop down on the bed, naked.
I like being naked. Not in a pervy, exhibitionist kind of way, but I don’t like tight clothing, and when I’m at work, I have to wear jeans and T-shirts, and they feel like straitjackets. I can’t wait for summer, when I can wear loose summer dresses on my days off.
If I get any days off.
After throwing my arm over my face, I start to feel guilty about closing up the shop tomorrow. It’s a Friday, and I should stay open. It’s not quite tourist season yet, so we’re not swamped, but still.
It’s not exactly a good business decision to just close up on a Friday. But damn it, I’m ready to move to the cute little house just a couple of blocks away.
I knew when I bought the coffee shop almost two years ago that it would be a big undertaking. That it would mean long hours and that it’s not easy to keep workers year-round in a ski resort town. But man, I didn’t realize that it would be this hard. I hope Candy’s friends work out, because if they do, I’ll be covered for the summer.
“Okay, no more work.” I rub my hands over my face and blow out a breath. “You’re taking the next thirty-six hours off. You’re going to be productive. You’re going to finish selling the rest of the furniture and get all the boxes moved over, and then you’re going to clean the fridge.”
I wrinkle my nose. I don’t want to clean the fridge.
I must fall asleep because the next thing I know, I open my eyes, and I’m cold. I have goose bumps all over my body because I didn’t crawl under the covers after getting naked and throwing myself onto the mattress.
Deciding that I need a shower anyway, I pad into the bathroom and start the water. Thirty minutes later, I’m warmed up, my face is clean, and I’m no longer super tired.
I hate napping late in the day. I’ll be up all night now.
“I need a drink.” Staring at myself in the mirror, I brush on a little mascara and lip gloss, brush out my hair, and then pull on a white blouse that I like, along with a pair of dark-wash denim.
I’m taking myself out for a drink.
Typically, I wouldn’t want to go alone, but I know that all four of my best friends, who happen to be married to my brothers, are busy tonight. They all have kids, and they can’t just leave at the drop of a hat. Sure, my brothers wouldn’t mind, but it’s not considerate of me to just call them up and be like, Come on, bitches, let’s go get hammered.
So, a night out alone it is.
I’ll inevitably see someone that I know anyway, and we’ll have a beer and chat, and then I’ll walk home, and all will be well.
After sliding my feet into a new pair of Adidas and grabbing my bag and keys, I lock the door behind me and walk the couple of blocks to The Wolf Den.
Surprisingly, I recognize most of the faces here, and I can’t help but grin when I belly up to the bar where Brenda, a gal I went to school with, waves at me excitedly.
“Hey, Mill,” she says. “What can I getcha?”
“Tequila. Straight up. No training wheels.”
Her eyebrows climb into her bleach-blonde hair. “It’s like that, is it?”
“Oh, yeah. It’s like that. Hook me up, Bren.”
“You got it.” She pours the drink and passes it to me, and I swallow it in one gulp, then pass the glass back to her. “Another. I’ll sip this one.”
She pours again, and I turn on the stool to look around the bar. The Wolf Den is the hot spot in town, where locals and tourists alike come to eat, drink, and socialize. I love it when the five of us girls come and order just about everything on the menu to help soak up our huckleberry margaritas.
We’ll have to arrange for a girls’ night out soon.
Suddenly, someone laughs to my left, and I’d know that laugh anywhere.
I turn my head, and sure enough, there he is. Holden, drinking a beer and laughing at something another guy has said. He nods and takes a pool cue to the table and takes a shot.
And misses.
He already looks a little drunk. He also looks delicious in a black Henley, sleeves pulled up his forearms, showing off the tattoos on one muscled arm that he didn’t used to have, and tight jeans.
Of course, he’s wearing dark cowboy boots. The man is always in boots. And tonight, rather than a cowboy hat, he’s in a backward baseball cap.
Fuck me.
Why does he have to be so… beautiful ? Just why?
I set my untouched second drink aside, already deciding that I’d be helping Holden get home tonight. I would usually scoff at him and call him an idiot for being out and acting like a moron.
But his dad recently died, and they had the reading of the will today. It was likely hard on all of them. And while the Lexingtons aren’t my favorite family in town, I don’t hold the ill will for them that my ancestors did.
The rivalry is just stupid, if you ask me.
Of course, Holden is my least favorite, but I don’t wish anything horrible for him. Maybe he could lose his dick to a flesh-eating bacteria, or he could trip and fall and break his nose, ruining all that handsomeness, but I don’t want anything catastrophic to happen.
I snort and turn back to Brenda. “You know what? Let’s switch to Coke.”
“You sure?” She lifts an eyebrow, and I nod.
“Yeah, a Coke will be fine. Thanks.”
She fills a glass and passes it to me, and then I turn to watch Holden some more. He’s pounding another full glass of beer, and in the past ten minutes, his steps have only gotten sloppier. It’s almost as if getting hammered was his whole goal in life tonight.
Not that I can blame him. It was going to be my goal, too. No judgment here. And I really try to judge Holden Lexington as much as humanly possible.
Because he’s a first-class ass.
And he has a first-class ass.
“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter before drinking my Coke. With one ear on what’s going on in Holden’s corner, I turn back to the bar. I’ll just sip my drink and hang out until he’s ready to go home. Because there’s no way in hell that he’s driving out to his ranch like this.
I would hope that he’d call one of his sisters, but I want to make sure.
Why do I feel responsible for him? Why do I have this ridiculous soft spot for him?
Because I’m a masochist, apparently.
“Millie?” I turn and frown at the sight of Bridger Blackwell. Not because I don’t like him, but because what is he doing here? “I thought that was you.”
“You never come out,” I say as he takes the stool next to me. “What are you up to? Where’s Birdie?”
“My mom’s with her,” he says on an exhale, and when Brenda approaches, he orders a beer. “She and Dad are in town for a couple of days, and I needed an hour away.”
“I get it.” I clink my glass to his when Brenda slides his drink to him. “How is she?”
Bridger’s young daughter has had a lot of medical issues over the past year, and I know it’s been really hard on him. For quite a long time, I helped him out by staying with her when he had to work at night.
“She’s doing better. I’m not really sure that they’ve figured her out completely, but the new medication seems to be working.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that, for both your sakes.”
Bridger nods and swallows his beer. He and I have been friends for a long, long time. There’s never been anything besides friendship between us, which is too bad because the man is hot as hell, and on top of that, he’s the fire chief.
I mean, hello, hot man in uniform.
But it’s just never been like that for us. He’s one of my best friends.
“What are you doing out?” he asks, making me sigh.
“I just needed a drink and didn’t want to be in my apartment alone. Which sounds really, really pathetic.”
“No, it doesn’t.” He grins over at me and then nudges me with his shoulder. “It sounds pretty normal. Next time, call me. I’ll go with you.”
“You have a daughter. I’m surrounded by a bunch of parents.” I sigh into my Coke and ignore the feeling of longing as my biological clock lets out a little gong. “You’re no fun.”
“I will have you know that I’m a lot of fun,” Bridger replies with a mock scowl. “Just ask my daughter.”
I laugh at that, and then the hair on the back of my neck stands up when I feel eyes on me.
Not just any eyes.
Stark blue, intense, Holden eyes.
I glance over, and sure enough, he’s watching us with his jaw clenched and his eyes hot, and it almost makes me laugh.
Instead, I let out a deep sigh.
This man is so damn confusing. He doesn’t get to be territorial when it comes to me. He made it clear that he didn’t want me.
But apparently, he doesn’t want anyone else to want me, either, because he’s convinced that Bridger and I have a thing going, but we don’t. And I refuse to tell Holden that because it’s none of his goddamn business.
For the next hour, Bridger and I chat and laugh, and finally, he tosses some bills onto the bar and stands up.
“I’d better get home,” he says and leans in to hug me tight. Bridger gives the best hugs. “You okay?”
“Oh, yeah, I only had one drink, and you know I don’t live far. I’m glad I got to see you.”
“Same goes.” He pats my shoulder and then leaves, and when the door closes behind him, I feel Holden standing next to me.
“What the fuck is going on between you two?”
And just like that, my back is up, and I regret not drinking more and feeling responsible for this asshole .
Slowly, I turn on the stool and look up at him, my gaze raking over his torso, neck, and then his face.
He’s so… broad. Muscular. Tall. Strong.
And such a pain in my ass.
“Hello, Holden.”
“Tell me,” he says, bracing one hand on the bar and the other on the back of my stool, caging me in.
“No.” I push my empty Coke glass away. “I don’t think I will. Are you about done drinking for the night?”
“Why, baby? You want to go home with me?”
My heart stutters at that, and I feel the goddamn blush move over me, effectively embarrassing the shit out of me.
Fuck. This. Shit.
“I was trying to be nice,” I grind out through clenched teeth. “Because you had a hard day, and you’re drunk, and I was going to stay sober and help you home. But you know what? Shame on me for dropping my guard for even one fucking minute when it comes to you and your bullshit. You’re such a piece of shit, Holden. Find your own way home.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, Ro?—”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” I get in his face now, glaring at him and ignoring the heat coming off of him. “You will never call me that again. Do you understand me?”
He swallows hard, clearly more sober than when he walked over here, and nods.
“Yeah. Got it.”
Without another word, I turn away from him, hop off the stool, and stomp out of this fucking bar all the way home.
My heart is going to come flying out of my chest at any moment, it’s beating so hard. I haven’t heard that name roll off his tongue since that morning in the field, when I was ready to pledge my undying love to him and beg him to marry me.
He will not do that to me ever again.
Fuck Holden Lexington.