Chapter six
“Teacher! ” One of my little pupils held out her hand, calling for me, and I walked towards her, leaning down next to her.
“What is it, Anne?”
“I drew a picture.”
“Can I see?”
She smiled at me, nodding her head, and handed me a sheet of paper. The drawing was very childish, with the characters in the shape of toothpicks, but she had made a proportion that I thought corresponded to real people.
“Who are those?” I pointed to the drawing.
“Me, Mary, Dad, and you.”
“Me?” I was surprised.
Generally, the children drew more of the family; sometimes, I was in their representations but never together with the parents.
“Yes, you.”
“How pretty I looked.” I stroked her hair.
Anne's smile widened at my compliment, and I seized the moment to try to understand why she had drawn me together with her father and sister. I pulled out one of the small chairs made to their size and settled down next to them.
“Why did you draw that picture, Anne?”
“You don't like it ?”
“Of course, I liked it, but why did you put me with your father and sister?”
“You could spring with us .”
“Live with you?” I was completely surprised by her statement, and I wasn't expecting anything like that.
“é!”
“But I already have a house.”
“Ours is beautiful .”
“I imagine it's very beautiful, but I have a family, and I live with them.”
“Let's be a family.”
“Oh, no, dear. Our family is our parents, grandparents, uncles, cousins...”
“You said Dad was handsome.”
“He is, but...” It was in the middle of the sentence that I realized what she might have been implying with all those childish thoughts.
I knew that she and her sister had lost their mother in a tragic car accident when they were just months old. Somehow, they could have been transferring to me a presence that was certainly lacking. As much as I loved those two little ones as much as my other students, I couldn't imagine that such behavior could be healthy for them. I didn't want them to get hurt or create some kind of mistaken image of me.
“Mary and Anne.” They raised their little blue eyes when they heard me call and stared at me. “Come here with me.” I took their little hands and brought them to the reading corner of the room, near where the cupboard with the backpacks and lunchboxes was.
They stood with their arms swinging at their sides, looking at me as they tried to understand why I had kept them away from the rest of the class.
“You're both very special girls.” I touched the tip of each of their noses. “I love you both very much, and I love being your teacher, but I'm not your mommy.”
“It's not!” replied Mary with conviction. “Dad said that now, our mother is an angel in heaven.”
“That's right! I'm here to help you both, but I'm just the teacher.”
“She said Daddy was handsome. ” Anne crossed her arms, challenging me with her gaze.
“He is.”
“So...”
“Surely, at some point, he will have someone who will be very lucky to be part of your lives.”
“You...”
“Oh, Mary.” I stroked her cheek. “I didn't.”
“Why?”
“The right person will fall in love with your dad, and they'll be very happy.”
“But...”
“Look, girls,” I put my hand on each of their shoulders, “I'm very honored to know that you have such affection for me, but I'm just your teacher. Are you all right?”
They stared at me for a moment until they nodded.
“Who wants to choose the book we're going to read today?”
“Me!” Anne raised her hand and ran to the bookcase.
“Children, come to the reading corner.” I turned to the other students, waiting for them to get up and join us.
They soon gathered in a circle, and I sat down in front of them to read a book of fairytale stories that Anne had chosen. They were her favorites. I spent so much time with those children that I understood each of them very well, but that didn't mean I could replace the role of a mother.
When the lesson was over, I helped them all pick up their backpacks and lunchboxes to leave the school. I accompanied them to the exit, where Holly handed them over to their parents and checked their permission slips.
Timothy, another of my students, grabbed one of my hands and pulled me along until I reached the door- that's when I saw him. He was just another father like all the others. I shouldn't have noticed him, but after the conversation with the man's daughters, it was impossible to stop my eyes from wandering over his profile.
He was tall, with broad shoulders, dark hair cut low, perfectly aligned, and a goatee that looked like it had been drawn by the best of artists. His image, as well as his expensive suit, were impeccable, as if even a strand of hair out of place was unacceptable. I didn't see him often, but his expression was so serious that I imagined a man like that was forbidden to smile.
I wondered if he wore that closed expression even when he was alone with his daughters and thought that it might be even harder for them to cope with the lack of a mother and affection. Little girls like that should have the basic right to a happy life.
“Bye, Helena!” Mary waved to me as she took her father's hand.
“See you later.” I waved back, and that was the moment the man noticed me.
He didn't say a word; he just stared at me for a fraction of a second, which was enough to make my legs wobble and affect my breathing.
I stood still as they left and disappeared from view as if the whole situation was just a strange mirage in my head.
“Is everything all right, Helena?” Holly asked me when she realized that I was staring completely into nothingness.
“Yes.” I blinked a few times. “Do you need me for something?”
“You can go home.”
“Thank you.”
I went back inside the school and got my things to go to the subway.
I sat on one of the benches waiting for the train and reached into my bag for my cell phone. There were no messages or notifications, even after a whole day without touching it. I couldn't brag about being the most popular person of all; the few friends I had made in high school and college had drifted away over time. With my routine boiled down to home and work, I didn't have any opportunities to make new ones. But I wanted to be a good teacher, and I needed to look after my grandmother.
I was distracted and ended up opening a search engine, only to realize I had typed in the name of the twins' father: Thomas Lennox. The man came from a traditional law family in New York City. He was now thirty-six years old and running the business he had inherited. The eldest son of three brothers, he was the CEO of Lennox you could burn yourself. Hot water is always dangerous.”
“It's not because I've gotten old that I can't even make a cup of tea.”
I twisted my lips, keeping my expression tight, and she continued to stare at me as if I hadn't done anything.
“Promise me you'll be careful?” I crossed my arms.
“I'm always careful.”
“I hope so. I'll take the tea, but first, I'm going to take a hot bath; my back is killing me.”
“Those small chairs aren't proportionate for someone your size.”
“But they are perfect for my students, and they are the priority.”
“How are you going to teach them if you're not well?”
“I'm fine, Grandma.” I went up to her and left a kiss on her cheek before heading down the corridor to my room.
I thought that after a shower and a good dose of rest, I'd be feeling brand new.