Chapter twenty
I took another one of the greasy fries and put it in my mouth, drinking the soda to help me swallow. My daughters would certainly love to eat that crap, but it really wasn't my favorite dish. But there was a reason I'd swapped a five-star restaurant for a cheap diner in Queens, and he was sitting in front of me, sucking on a strawberry milkshake and laughing as he told me about my daughters' antics.
Helena was even more beautiful when we weren't growling at each other.
One part of me was still pulling at me, saying how risky it was to get involved without predefined boundaries and put my feelings on the table, but the other seemed to be getting more and more involved with this woman.
“You've made a mess.” I leaned over the table to wipe away some of the sauce that had accumulated on the side of his mouth.
“Thank you.” She took a napkin and dabbed at the spot where my fingertip had just been.
“Are you going to eat the rest of your potatoes?”
I said no. They were so greasy that my stomach was already warning me that it would soon be sick.
“I think the girls would love to come to a place like that.”
“Why don't you bring them back sometime?”
“Would you come with us?”
Helena was disconcerted, chewed a potato and took a while to finally answer me.
“Maybe so.”
“They would love your company.”
“I also love the company of the twins.”
I knew my daughters very well, and I knew how sincere they were. They had already made it clear several times how much they liked the woman in front of me, practically choosing her. As much as Helena's presence was very pleasant, it was still difficult to let go of all my fears.
“I think we'd better go,” he said after he'd drunk the rest of his milkshake, and the silence settled over us again.
“Now?”
“Well, the nanny won't be looking after them all night, will she?”
“If I need her to stay, she stays.”
“Even so, I imagine the girls are missing you.”
“That's a nice way of dismissing me.” I giggled.
“I tend to be more incisive when I want to dismiss someone.” He twisted his lips.
“I realized.” I got up, and we walked together back to the entrance of his building.
As soon as we stopped near my car, she alternated her gaze between me and the vehicle before talking to me again.
“You'd better go.”
“Okay.”
She turned her back and went up a step, but before she got too far, I called out to her again:
“Helena, wait!”
“What's wrong?”
“Shall we go out again? This time, I'll choose the place.”
She bit her lower lip and pondered as she stared at me.
“What do you really want with me, Thomas?”
“I'm still trying to find out.” I was sincere, even if I didn't think it was exactly what she wanted to hear.
“So tell me when you know.” She disappeared at the entrance to the building, and I didn't go after her.
As much as it wasn't exactly what I had hoped for that evening, the moment helped me to reflect a little and think about the choices I had made and those I was yet to make. It had been years since I had sat down with a woman and simply talked to her without sex or business involved.
After standing there for a while, watching nothing, I went to my car when I realized that some of the neighbors were noticing me and drove back home. It was late when I arrived, and the girls were asleep.
I wasn't going to say anything to them about my meeting with the teacher because I knew I might raise their hopes about something I wasn't sure would come true.