25. Nick #2
I glance down to hide my smile. There’s no denying the warm satisfaction that slides through me at her words. That even though I’m seventeen years older, she’s very clearly, very obviously, attracted to me.
She bites her lip, looking down at her own body, all softness and curves. “Shit, you’re making me feel bad.”
Oh, hell no .
“Zinnia,” I say, voice a rough scrape in my throat. I slide a finger under her chin, tilting her face toward mine. “You’re perfection, honey. Every fucking inch of you.”
Her lips part, gaze softening as it moves over my face. All I can think about is the comment she made at Joe’s, that she wished Botticelli’s beauty standards applied today, and I feel the need to make my attraction to her very clear.
“Why do you think I couldn’t look at you that first night in life drawing?” I say thickly, adjusting my aching cock. “You were too much. Too beautiful. I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
A smile slides onto her lips, and I stare at it, heart drumming. I’m about to kiss her again when she stills, gaze snagging on the left side of my torso.
“Wait.” She sits up on her elbows, mouth opening in surprise. “You have a tattoo ?”
“I do.” I lift my left arm so she can see. It’s da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man , on the side of my ribcage. I got it the year I became tenured. At the time, I convinced myself it was to mark that moment in my career, but was it an unconscious attempt to reconnect with that younger part of me?
“Wow.” Zinnia runs her fingertip over the ink, shaking her head.
“I love it. This is so you .” Her smile is wide and beaming as she looks up at me.
She tugs my mouth back to hers, fingers tunneling into my hair, and I can’t stop my hands from going to her waist. “Yes,” she whispers, dragging her mouth over my jaw. “Touch me. Please , Nick. Touch me.”
My hands shake as I trace the curves I’ve spent so long admiring. God, her skin is so smooth, so silky and divine. And when Zinnia takes my hand, placing it on her breast, heat grips my insides. I cradle its soft fullness, watching as her nipples tighten in response.
“What…” I swallow, voice so shredded it’s barely audible. “Show me what you like.”
She releases the biggest sigh, as if she’s waited forever to hear me say those words. “Like this,” she says huskily, guiding my thumb over the stiff peak of her nipple. “And this,” she adds, moving my other hand to rest between her legs, past the dark curls, to where she’s warm and wet.
“Fuck,” I grate out, fingers brushing her slickness.
My cock leaks as I circle her swollen clit, watching her eyes roll back, a breathless moan rushing from her.
I kiss her hard, losing myself as she writhes under my touch.
Her curves are heaven, supple and soft and warm.
She’s so damn wet, and all I can think about is what she’d taste like. If she’d like me to kiss her there.
“Can I…” Fuck, I’ve lost the ability to speak. “Can I taste you, honey?”
She smiles, cheeks flushed, lips swollen from our kiss. “You’re so polite, Nick. It’s sweet, but you don’t have to ask. Honestly?” Her eyes smolder with desire. “You can do whatever you want to me.”
Jesus Christ.
Her words stir something primal in me, like a beast that’s been lying in wait, but I tamp it down. Somehow, I’ve gone from years of letting myself feel nothing to feeling everything at once, and it’s too much.
I’m afraid of what will happen if I let it out.
Zinnia keeps her gaze locked on mine as she casually, languidly lifts a leg, placing it on the other side of me, and I can’t stop my gaze from falling between her thighs, to her wet, swollen entrance.
Her hand drifts down, fingers brushing her clit before spreading herself for me.
I stare at that spot, dick so hard it hurts, in awe of her confidence.
How easily—how readily—she bares herself.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I grate out.
I kiss my way down her stomach, inhaling the warm floral scent of her, burying my nose in those luscious dark curls between her thighs. Then I swipe my tongue through her slickness, heat streaking through me as her musky arousal coats my tongue.
“Fuck,” I rasp, gripping her thighs. “You taste so sweet, Zinnia. Fuck .” I devour her greedily, hungrily, relishing every moan, every quiver, every tug on my hair.
“Yes, Nick, yes,” she chants, hips lifting to meet my mouth. “Don’t stop.”
A freight train could hit me right now and I wouldn’t stop, not until I know she’s satisfied.
I slide two fingers into her tight channel, loving the way she rocks against my hand, body tensing.
My cock aches as I pleasure her, hoping like hell I don’t fucking lose it in my pants.
Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to get her there, and she releases a long, shuddering moan as she comes, quaking against my mouth.
I don’t let up until she gives a woozy laugh, fingers stroking my cheek.
“Nick,” she murmurs. “Get up here.”
I chuckle, relieved, and rise to my knees on the sofa between her legs. Zinnia’s gaze meanders over my bare torso, a long sigh gusting out of her.
“I still can’t believe your body.” Her gaze lifts to mine, dark and hazy. “I thought I was attracted to you before, but this…” Her fingers brush my abdomen, following the trail of hair to my belt. “God, Nick, I could eat you.”
My dick flexes at her words, even more so when she undoes my belt buckle and zipper, pushing my pants over my hips, letting my erection spring free. Then she gives me a naughty smile.
“I think I will,” she purrs, licking her lips as her hand circles my shaft.
I groan, throbbing against her hot palm, so fucking turned on that a stiff breeze could make me come. If Zinnia wraps those perfect lips around my cock, it will be game over, and I really, desperately , want to be inside her.
“Zinnia,” I say roughly, stopping her.
She looks up at me, brows lifted in question.
“I’ll come if you do that, honey, and I want…” I stop myself. It occurs to me I’m being awfully presumptuous, but a sinful smile slides onto her lips.
“I want that too.”
Oh, thank God .
I rise to my feet, shucking my pants, when I realize I don’t have a condom. Why would I? I never have sex.
“Shit.” I rake an agitated hand through my hair. “I don’t… I don’t have anything…”
“I do, but…” She hesitates, biting her lip. “If you’re comfortable with it, we don’t need one. I’m on birth control, and I’m healthy, so…”
Heat rushes through my bloodstream. “Yes,” I say, without hesitation.
A smile brushes her lips, almost shyly. “I’ve never done it bare before.”
My dick surges. That she’s doing this with me, and only me. That I’ll get to be so close to her. It occurs to me that if anything, a condom would at least ensure I don’t lose it the minute we begin.
“But it’s…” I shake my head, warmth creeping up my neck. “It’s been a while for me. I won’t last as long without one.”
Zinnia softens, holding her hands out. “I don’t care, Nick. I just want to feel you.” She smiles as I slide my hands into hers. “ All of you.”
Fuck .
“I want to feel you too,” I say, climbing over her, erection settling at her entrance.
Her skin is velvet against me, and I take a moment to enjoy the feeling, kissing her slowly, loving how close she is.
My hands tremble as I brush a strand of hair from her eyes, thinking of that life-drawing class when she wouldn’t look at me, when I couldn’t stop myself from touching her.
Even then, I knew. I knew how I felt about her.
“Zinnia…” I gaze into her hazel eyes, the ring of gold around them brighter than ever. I want to tell her that she’s turned my world upside down, that I wasn’t even living before I met her, but it’s too much.
Instead, I capture her mouth with mine and sink into the tight heat of her. The pleasure is so instant, so intense, that I nearly black out. I press my eyes shut, head falling into her neck as I try to catch my breath.
“Jesus… fuck,” I choke out.
Zinnia’s hands stroke my hair, my neck, lips against my ear. “I know,” she breathes. “Fuck, I know.” When I draw away to meet her gaze, she looks dazed, as if drugged.
I stare at her in disbelief. At how utterly incredible it feels to be inside her. Yes, it’s been forever since I’ve had sex, but it never once felt like this .
Like coming home.
I take her mouth in a bruising kiss, rolling my hips. She moans, fingers tightening in my hair, and heat rockets through me.
Christ, I need to be careful. This can’t be over yet.
“Yes,” Zinnia moans, wrapping her legs around me. “Deeper.”
I grip her thighs, balls hitting her ass as I bury myself to the hilt, bottoming out inside her.
Oh, fuck .
“Like this?” I growl. The edge of my vision blurs, muscles burning as I try to hold the pleasure at bay.
Zinnia’s eyes roll back into her head, and she gives a stuttering whimper in assent. Sliding a hand between us, I work her clit as I rock into her, focusing on her pleasure. She feels amazing— too amazing—warm and wet, gripping me like a vise, and I know I don’t have long.
“God, Zinnia, you feel so fucking good,” I rasp, hips speeding up despite myself.
“Yes, Nick,” she whimpers. “Tell me.”
“You feel like heaven, honey.” Her plea urges me on, and the next words spill from my mouth without permission. “Like everything I could ever want.”
She moans, nails raking my scalp. The sensation makes my balls draw up tight, and I hold my breath in desperation.
Not yet .
“I’m so close,” Zinnia rasps, bucking underneath me.
But it’s too late.
Shit, shit, shit. No .
Pleasure surges through me, and I bury my face in her shoulder, my release bringing nothing but shame.
“Fuck,” I mutter, face hot. “God, I’m sorry. I wanted to last longer.”
Zinnia strokes my cheek, breathing a sigh. “It’s okay,” she murmurs. “It’s more than okay.”
But my jaw tightens, and I pull away.
It’s not okay. It’s fucking embarrassing.
I grab my glasses off the coffee table and tug on my boxer-briefs with unsteady hands, heading to the bathroom for a washcloth. I can’t even look at Zinnia as I hand it to her, ducking into the bedroom for a moment alone.
My skin burns as I sink onto the edge of my bed. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my stammering heart. This is why I don’t let myself feel. With art, with women. With anything. I can’t control it, and it’s too much.
It only ends in humiliation.