Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Izzy
Drew and I leave our rooms at the same time. He motions to the living room, “Who are you?”
“He’s one of Uncle Joey’s friends.” I say.
Drew crosses his arms and squints his eyes, the same way he does whenever he’s trying to assess a situation. I hate that he’s got so many walls already up, and he can’t just enjoy life.
Lance pokes his head into the hallway as if he has kid radar then matches Drew’s stance. “I have two very important questions you need to answer.” His tone is painfully serious. “What is your Pokémon type starter?”
Drew blinks a few times, his nose squished up. “Fire.”
Lance nods. “Good choice. Me too.”
At the same time my cousin and I say. “Water.” Squirtle squad forever. At least no one answered grass type. My faith in humanity is restored.
My dumbass brother shouts from his perch on the couch, “I normally cheat until I can get Pikachu.” Of course he does.
“Second question. Favorite dinosaur?” Lance says.
This one, Drew answers instantly. “Stegosaurus.”
Lance nods and pauses, tilting his head. “Aren’t you going to ask me about mine?”
“But you’re a grownup.”
Lance leans into my son’s space. “If someone doesn’t have a favorite dinosaur, drop them. You don’t need that kind of negative energy in your life.”
My heart warms. It’s like a coffee poured ten minutes ago. Inviting and sweet.
Drew squints and takes the bait. “What’s yours?”
“T. rex, he has tiny arms. Huge body, but can’t scratch his stomach.”
“I like the flying ones,” Donnie says. “No matter how badass of a predator you are, a giant flying dino can still take a shit on your head and mess up your whole day.”
Drew laughs in the way only Donnie can make him. My son looks over at my cousin, expecting an answer because he wants to keep Uncle Joey in his life.
My cousin pretends not to care by opening another box. “Whatever the hell Littlefoot was. He was cool. Not that racist triceratops. She was a bitch.”
“What?” Lance says.
“You know, the movie about the baby dinosaurs going across the world to find, I don’t know, their herd or something? Nonna had a VHS copy. I used to watch it every day after school.”
Joey lived at Nonna’s house after his parents died, and Nonna decided technology didn’t need to advance past 1994. While Donnie and I had iPhones, Joey was trapped on AOL and dial-up. Maybe that’s why Joey owns a sex club now. He spent his teen years waiting twenty minutes on dial-up to see half of a boob, and now he’s making up for lost time.
Lance lets out a little laugh. “Not only do I not know what movie you’re talking about, but I don’t believe you were a child, ever.”
Joey huffs, slams the box down, and pulls his phone out of his back pocket. While Joey is busy, Lance turns to me. “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”
I had my answer locked and loaded. “A parrot.”
“What?” Lance makes a sound like a laugh, huff, and choke all at once. The huff plays it cool while the choke keeps the laugh at bay. Like he didn’t want to lose his newly acquired job. “I’m gonna need a little more context.”
“Birds are dinosaurs that didn’t give up and die. And parrots are beautiful and smart. Plus, even if every human vanished today, parrots would preserve our languages.”
“You’re so weird, Mom.”
“At least I don’t use a grass-type Pokémon as a starter. Those people are bananas.” I boop my son’s nose because I know how much he hates it. He twists and flails out of my reach.
Lance shifts his weight, squaring his shoulder to my son. “So, Drew, you have an important job. You’ll need to pick a code name. Normally we go with mythical creatures, cities, or animals.”
“Can I be one of those firebird things?”
Lance’s face changes like he ate a rotten piece of fruit. “A phoenix? We have one of those already. But we don’t have any dragons. Whatever you pick, your mom will have to be something similar. If you pick Pegasus, your mom will be a unicorn.”
“Don’t pick something lame,” I warn, but my request goes ignored.
“Uncle Joey, wanna see my room now?”
Joey’s head is still in his phone. “ The Land Before Time , that’s the movie.” He glances at Drew, then at Lance, then back to Drew. “Give me five more minutes, and I’m all yours.”
Drew shrugs and heads back into his room. “I’ll think about it,” he says to Lance.
Lance takes out his phone as well and holds the screen up to me. “You need to pick out bulletproof window blinds. We’ll have the bulletproof windows installed and sweep the room for bugs and anything else tomorrow while you’re at work. But the blinds are more of an aesthetic choice, so you should pick them.”
Jesus. Bulletproof windows and blinds. Seriously? “Am I in that kind of danger?”
Lance rotates his head, scanning every surface in the room. “From what I can see, you would need a professional sniper to hit your apartment, but the blinds are more for your own privacy.”
Oh.
We spend the next few minutes picking out window treatments and other weird administrative stuff. “I officially start tomorrow. I’ll be here in the morning to take you to sign Drew up for school. Once you’re at work, I’ll head back home, take care of a few things, return at four to take the kids home and pick you up.”
“Kids? Like more than Drew?” I raise my eyebrow.
Lance nods and scrolls through his cell phone. “Yeah, other kids associated with the Four Families. Ian, Maria, and Shae all go to the same school as Drew.”
“So you’re a chauffeur too?”
“Full service.”
Hmm, I wonder what else he’d service. Oh, shit. Stop it.
“Can I make a request?”
“Depends.” But he gives me a little wink, like whatever I ask is going to be fulfilled.
“Can you not look like a bodyguard?” I need to get some control of this situation before I go into a lust-fueled haze of stupidness.
“We prefer the term personal security agent, but okay. Can you be clearer?”
“No suit.” I motion up and down with my hand. “This gives off secret service, I can kill a man with a straw, vibes.” And suits are hot as hell.
“Well, that’s oddly specific,” Joey says as he opens yet another box.
Lance taps his chin. “Do you want the whole ‘I just worked out’ look? Or business casual? Spoiler alert, one of them means I showered.”
I laugh. “Use your best judgment.”
“I always do.”
“How boring.” Do not flirt with him. He’s going to be around you for hours. I grab the box out of my cousin’s hand and walk it back into my bedroom.
Before I return, I hear Joey say, “I can count on one hand the people I genuinely care about, and I’d still have fingers left over. Those two, you protect them with everything you have.”
Awe, I’m glad Drew and I rank as high as Nonna does on Joey’s list of people he gives a shit about. Sucks for Donnie and everyone else in the family. I’m 100 percent sure it’s an empty threat, but still, any affection from my cousin is sweet. And at least he’s not a total embarrassment like my asshole brother.
I don’t hear Lance’s answer, but I know in my bones the answer is yes. He calls out, “See you in the morning,” and the door closes behind him.
Once the chaos is over, the last boxes for the night unpacked, Donnie gives me a hug. “Family first. Stay loyal and strong, and we’ll have your back forever.” He shakes his head. “Keep your lady bits in check. It’s a job for Lance, and he will always pick Alana over you.”