6. Alex
6
ALEX
I spent the night pacing the floor, part of it soothing Luke and part debating about involving my family in the situation with Bruce. By morning, I knew I had to tell them about the threat for two reasons. One, the SEAL community was small, and the Vale brothers were well known. Even though Colin and Zach were retired now, Bruce knew of them and could target either of them—and their families. I couldn’t be sure if he knew about my relationship to Chance—who was also a former SEAL—but the scuttlebutt had probably gotten around by now. And with a toddler in the house and another baby on the way, Chance would want to know about any possible threats. To be honest, all three of the guys would be seriously pissed if I didn’t share this danger with them. A couple of early-morning texts, and everything was set up.
Getting together was a hell of a lot more complicated now that we all had women in our lives and children to raise. As we headed to the park, I glanced at Soledad walking next to me, pushing Luke’s stroller. Being a parent changed everything. I’d always been aware of the world and its dangers, but the need to protect that had driven me to seek out the most challenging rescue missions was ten times stronger due to Luke and Soledad. I couldn’t let anything happen to them, so I needed my family’s wisdom and support. Chance, Zach, and Colin all gave good advice—and they’d been through some trials on their own, so they’d get where I was coming from.
I’d sold this family get-together to Soledad as a casual playdate, and after a moment’s hesitation, she agreed to it. I didn’t know what went through her mind during that minute, but I’d been prepared with arguments designed to convince her without revealing the truth.
We were the first to arrive, as I’d planned, because I wanted time to evaluate the location and find a good vantage point. I wasn’t taking the chance of Bruce sneaking up on us while we were out with the kids. I let Frankie off her leash, knowing she wouldn’t wander far.
“How about the picnic table under those trees?” I suggested after surveying the play area, shelter house, and soccer fields. The trees would give us cover if we needed it, and the spot on the edge of the park allowed me to see nearly everything, including the parking lot.
“Fine with me,” she said briskly, her first words since leaving the house. “I can put Luke on a blanket in the shade. He’ll like that.”
I wanted to ask if she might enjoy the visit, even a little. She liked my in-law, or seemed to, and their kids were great. I wanted Luke to be close with his cousins, even though he was too little to play with them for now. When he was bigger, they’d play together, forming bonds that would last.
When we reached the picnic table, I helped Soledad unpack what Luke needed from the stroller. I shot her a sharp look when she placed a bottle of Cherry Coke, my favorite soda, on the table near me. Her only response was a shrug, but it surprised me that she’d thought of me when she was preparing for the picnic. Things rarely happened that I didn’t expect.
“Thanks,” I said, loosening the cap while I searched for the right words to say to her.
“I thought you’d get thirsty.” She took a drink from her bottle of ginger ale.
My eyes went to her throat, watching the muscles that worked there—the same movement that had led me to kiss her on the back porch. She lowered the bottle, flushing pink. Her thoughts were apparently in sync with mine. We hadn’t talked about the kiss, and we should, even if I didn’t want to. An adult conversation would help to establish some boundaries and clear the air between us…but it might also close off possibilities. I realized I didn’t want to do that yet. What the hell? I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to pursue a relationship with her, but now…
“Here’s Colin and Lily,” she said, shifting her attention away from me.
Christ . The newcomers had gotten within twenty yards of us without me being aware of it. My guard had come down when my desire for Soledad ramped up. Stupid mistake. I rose to greet my brother.
“Hi,” Lily called. She held Colin’s hand as Sofia ran toward me and Soledad. The three-year-old dashed to where Luke lay on a blanket and dropped to her knees next to him, seemingly mesmerized.
“She’s curious about babies,” Colin said as he reached me and shook my hand. “Good to see you, Soledad.”
“Thanks. You, too.” Soledad smiled at Colin before turning her attention to Lily and the kids.
“Zach was getting his brood out of the car, and I saw Chance looking for a parking space as I started heading over. They’ll all be here in a minute,” Colin said, his eyes tracking to his wife and daughter.
“Glad you could make it,” I commented.
“It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Going to the park’s a great idea.” Colin directed a look at me, a look that said he knew this was more than it seemed on the surface.
A few minutes later, Zach and Carolyn walked toward us, along with Chance and Mandy. Chance had his son, Ray, perched on his shoulders and was holding his wife’s hand. Meanwhile, Zach was carrying Erin, their eight-month-old, while their toddler, Austin, raced toward the other children and Frankie, who yapped excitedly.
“I’ll take this one.” Carolyn reached for the baby girl as Chance lifted Ray down to the ground, where the twenty-month-old took off after his cousins. “You boys probably want to talk.”
“What’ll you be doing?” Zach asked.
“The same, but I’m guessing our subject matter will be different. Alex has a serious look about him.”
“He always does,” Zach said, giving me a punch in the arm. “I’m the light-hearted one of this crew.”
Carolyn laughed at her husband’s words. “Right.” She took the baby to where Soledad and Lily sat at the picnic table with the kids playing beside them.
I took another scan of our surroundings, knowing the men in my family had already done the same out of habit. My eyes lingered on Soledad before I shifted my attention away from her.
Soledad
I stroked Frankie’s head as I listened to Mandy, Carolyn, and Lily talk. As much as I enjoyed being out of the house and having adult company other than Alex, I had mixed feelings about this playdate. Alex’s cousin- and sisters-in-law had always been kind to me, both when Alex and I were dating and since Luke’s birth. But I wasn’t in the club. I was the baby mama, not a girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. I felt like an outsider despite the easy conversation.
“Chase me,” Sofia yelled, getting Frankie’s attention. The dog ran off after Ray, Sofia, and Austin, chasing first one and then another across the grass. I couldn’t help smiling at how my sweet pup noticeably slowed down when she was chasing Ray, letting him outpace her easily even though he was smaller and slower than his cousins.
“They’ll all be exhausted tonight,” Carolyn said with a laugh.
“Getting out of bed is exhausting,” Lily commented, stretching her legs out in front of her.
"Amen to that!” Mandy added, putting her head down on the picnic table and pretending to fall asleep there.
“It’ll pass, sweetheart,” Carolyn said, comforting her. “You know that the first few months are tiring. Isn’t that right, Soledad?”
“That was my experience,” I confirmed. I’d been tired and worried about my situation almost from the beginning of my pregnancy, which had left little time to enjoy it as many women claimed they did.
“Before you know it, you’ll have a beautiful baby to love.” Carolyn kept her eyes on Erin, who was sitting on the blanket near Luke. “It’s nice they’ll all grow up together. I love it that the cousins can play with each other.”
I kept my thoughts to myself, uncertain how much connection I’d have to Alex’s family down the road. The kids would build a relationship, since their fathers were so close, and I was still doing bookkeeping for Carolyn and Mandy, which would keep me in touch with the moms even if Luke and I ended up moving into our own place, but this big family thing was foreign to me. My own family was very small: just an aunt and one cousin. And it wasn’t like I was even close to my aunt or my cousin. My situation was nothing like the one Alex had with his cousins, where he felt tightly connected to them even though they’d grown up separately and, if I remembered correctly, weren’t actually related by blood.
He'd told me the whole story, about how the Admiral—the man who had fostered him and his brothers, and who had been more of a true parent to him than either his father or mother ever managed—had had an estranged half-brother that none of them had known about: Chance’s father, the original Ray McCallister. It was only when Big Ray, as the family referred to him now, had died that Chance found letters in his father’s things pointing to Ray having a brother he'd been close to, way back when. It had been too late for Chance and his brothers to form a relationship with the Admiral, who had already died by then, but they’d reached out to the Vales, and they’d all decided that they were cousins in every way that mattered, just as they should have been all along.
It was so strange to even think about finding a new half of your family after decades without them, but it seemed to be working out well for the Vales and McCallisters…even if it was all still very confusing to me.
“And we’ll get some girl time, too. Nice for us,” Lily said, smiling. “Which brings me to an important question, Soledad.”
“What’s that?” I asked, feeling like a spotlight had just found me in a crowd.
“Are you and Alex still pretending to be nothing more than responsible adults with this co-parenting friendship thing?” Lily posed the question, but all three of the women had their attention fully focused on me.
“We’re not pretending,” I said. “That’s what we are. What else would we be?” I tried to keep my voice casual, but I felt the glare of the imaginary spotlight.
“I think you know,” Mandy interjected. “We can all see the looks you give each other when you think no one will see. I noticed it when I visited you last week, and I’m definitely seeing the same thing today. I know what chemistry looks like. That was one thing that Chance and I always had, even when we couldn’t figure out the rest of it.”
I refused to glance in Alex’s direction and kept my attention on Luke, who was staring up at Erin. I couldn’t deny that I had taken quick looks at Alex during my conversation with the other women. And I’d had no reason to. I couldn’t use the excuse that I was checking on Luke, since he was in front of me.
“Oh, Mandy,” Carolyn said with a shake of her head. “I thought we agreed not to bring it up.”
Oh, God. They’d talked about me and Alex. I could feel my face get hot.
“Come on. We have to help them out,” Mandy insisted, her tone blunt but friendly. I’d learned through our interactions that she was very direct and didn’t believe in beating around the bush, but she had an incredibly kind heart.
“There’s nothing between Alex and me,” I declared before the others could continue, “other than caring for Luke. No relationship. We’re only living in the same house because it’s easier for us now when Luke still needs so much care. Once he’s a little older and is sleeping through the night, Luke and I will be moving out as soon as I can get an apartment.” That time was approaching rapidly, since Luke was almost two months old.
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Lily asked. “Listen, I know how tough it is to live with someone and try to resist the attraction. Colin and I failed at it, and I couldn’t be happier.” Lily had been Colin’s nanny when a relationship developed between them, which soon led to marriage and now a child together.
Good for Lily, but unlike his brother, Alex wasn’t the marrying kind. The thought suddenly made me very sad. The family curse had won. My mother was right. I cared for a man who would never return my affections, not the way I wanted him to. But those were facts I didn’t plan to confide to these well-meaning women.
“Our situation is not the same as yours and Colin’s,” I said, trying my best to sound logical. “We have no future together other than shared parenting for our son. We’d broken up before Alex left for his last mission. You know that.”
“We never did know why, though.” Carolyn’s tone was gentle. “Can I take a guess?”
There was that spotlight again—a little dimmer, but once again highlighting all of my worries. “I…” I started to respond but had no idea what to say.
“I once ended my relationship with Zach because I could no longer take waiting at home for him when he was off on a mission. The not knowing where he was and if he was okay was a killer.” Carolyn glanced toward her husband, making me follow her gaze. The four men stood close together, obviously engaged in a serious discussion. “Being with an active SEAL is way harder than it seems. They’re great men, loyal and courageous, but the women in their lives have to share those qualities with the job.”
Ten times worse, I silently agreed. The missions were longer and inherently more dangerous than the work of regular service people. If being a military wife was tough, being the wife of a SEAL was even tougher and more nerve-wracking. Carolyn was right, too. Alex’s work was certainly part of the reason our relationship ended. The rest was that he wouldn’t let me get too close to him.
“I’ve known the guys for a long time,” Carolyn went on. “They’ve been through so much, but their reactions to adversity are all different.” She looked over to Mandy. “The McCallisters are the same way, right?”
“Oh, definitely,” she agreed. “They’re all problem solvers, ready to charge forward and take anything on, but Harris is the mediator who always tries to talk things out. Chance is the one who rushes to step up and take action—even when it’s the dumbest thing he could do. And Lee…” She chuckled a little. “He’s the troublemaker. He goes around stirring shit up until he can figure out exactly how to work the situation to make it go the way he wants.”
We all laughed a bit at that before Carolyn spoke up again. “Well, when it comes to the Vales, Zach wants to control everything, and Colin believes everything has a place. But Alex puts on the devil-may-care attitude and pretends not to give a darn because he’s guarding his heart. He’s unwilling to risk getting hurt again, so he closes himself off from everyone except his brothers.”
How was I supposed to respond to this honesty when the other woman had pegged Alex and the difficulty between us to a T? I had gotten a peek under the surface at Alex’s vulnerability just before he shut me out when our relationship ended a year ago. I’d had glimpses again in the past months, too, especially when Alex didn’t think I was paying attention. I cherished those unguarded moments when I saw the man he truly was.
But could we have a real relationship, as the other women were suggesting?
Fortunately, Luke let out a cry just then. I rose and scooped him up, taking him for a walk under the trees while I tried to sort through all that had been said.
Alex
“So are playdates in the park a replacement for our poker nights now?” Colin asked. “I figure they must be, since you’ve forced us to take turns hosting them at our own houses since you’ve been back in town.”
“Cut him some slack,” Zach said. “When you’ve got a newborn in the house, you’ll understand how demanding the little bundles are.”
“Soon enough,” Colin said with a grin and a glance toward his wife, who waved and blew him a kiss.
“Take my advice and sleep lots now. Right, Alex?” Chance asked.
“Sure, yeah,” I said, half listening as I focused on Soledad where she sat between Lily and Carolyn. Her attention was directed at the kids as she talked with my in-laws. It looked like a friendly conversation, so I tilted my head, indicating for my brothers to follow me. I didn’t want any of what I had to say to reach Soledad’s ears.
“What’s on your mind?” Colin asked when we’d moved off an additional fifteen feet. All bantering was over as we formed a tight circle.
“I’ll get straight to it. Asking you guys to take over hosting the weekly poker game wasn’t just because I didn’t want the noise to disturb Luke. It’s also because having a bunch of people over would mean I’d have to turn off the alarm to keep anyone from triggering it…and that’s not something I’m willing to do. Not now. There was a situation on my last mission that you all need to be aware of because it might come back to bite me, you, and them.” I nodded to their families.
“Give us the intel,” Zach ordered, all of us alert as if we were on a mission.
I didn’t hesitate. “I turned in a fellow SEAL for misconduct just before we shipped home from the Middle East. Guy by the name of Bruce Lewis. Do you know him?”
“I know Lewis,” Chance said. “He’s a jackass.”
“No denying that, but he’s a well-connected jackass,” I said, “which he thought made him above the rules.”
“So what was his game?” Colin’s skill was stripping everything down and gathering the details.
“He got involved in the opium trade,” I said. “He was even peddling that shit to his fellow SEALs. I realized what was up when I was working with one of the local agricultural cohorts and heard his name mentioned. They compared me to him because we were in the same unit, but I was interested in saffron while Bruce was breaking the rules in a way I couldn’t overlook. So I reported him to our commanding officer.”
“You did the right thing. SEAL units only work if everyone is aboveboard,” Zach declared.
“I thought so,” I agreed, “but it might come back to bite me in the ass. Thanks to his family’s influence, the charges were downgraded and he got away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist for punishment…but they couldn’t get him out of a letter in his permanent file.”
Colin let out a low whistle. “Career-buster.”
“Exactly. And he’s blaming me.”
“So that’s why you needed the security system,” Colin concluded.
Steve sometimes came to our poker nights, so it didn’t surprise me that he would have mentioned my situation to Colin.
“But this might not stop with me. He and I never really talked much, but it’s no secret that our family is tight,” I said, gesturing between us. “As pissed as he is, I don’t think he’d hold back if he saw any way to hurt me, even by proxy. And a piece of shit like that wouldn’t draw the line at hurting women or children either. I’m sorry I’ve put you guys and your families in danger. When I filed the report, I assumed he’d go to jail and that would be the end of it. Even if he did manage to weasel his way out, I never thought this would come back on anyone but me.”
“Not your fault,” Colin said. “Your decision to report him probably saved lives.”
“Yeah, but it’s putting lives at risk now. Theirs.” I gestured to the picnic table where the four women talked while the kids played.
“We’ll protect them. We have before,” Colin said, “and if there’s any guilt here, it lands squarely and solely at Lewis’s feet. Not yours.”
“Colin’s right,” Zach added. “We’ll fend this off if we need to.”
Chance nodded his agreement. “What can we do now?” he asked.
“Locate Bruce. I got a card from him yesterday. There was no postmark on it—he hand delivered it on purpose, just to rattle me and make it clear that he’s nearby. I’m sticking to Soledad and Luke, keeping them inside as much as I can, but I need to know where he is.”
“Have you told Soledad about this?” Zach asked.
“No, and I won’t if I can avoid it.” It would only add another layer of tension on top of a fraught situation between us.
“You might want to rethink that, bro,” Colin said. “Women don’t like to be kept in the dark. Not when it comes to their safety.”
“She’s got a lot on her plate already.” It was an excuse, and I admitted to myself that my brother was right. Soledad would be livid if she learned I’d kept this from her. But I’d accept that risk. “I need your connections to locate Bruce.” My brothers both worked for security firms and could use their networks. Chance, meanwhile, ran the best garage within fifty miles with Mandy, which meant that he always had people in and out, sharing all the gossip. If anyone saw a stranger hanging around, Chance would probably hear about it.
“I’ll make some calls,” Zach said.
“I’ll pass the word around at the garage,” Chance added.
“And I’ll see what I can find on him in the cyber world. Maybe he’s used his credit cards lately. We’ll find him,” Colin said, “and if he makes the mistake of coming after any of us, he’ll regret it.”
Having my family’s backing was useful, but I was still worried. I’d trained with Bruce, knew what the other man was capable of—knew that he had no qualms about harming people who got in his way. That and a thirst for revenge made Bruce a powerful enemy, not to mention the worst sort of man.
My eyes tracked to Soledad. A few seconds earlier, Luke had let out a tiny cry and she’d picked him up. Now she was walking in the shade of the trees with our son on her shoulder. She didn’t look in my direction. It almost seemed as though she was trying not to.
“It’ll be all right,” Zach said, playing the role of big brother.
“Hope so.” I wasn’t worried about Chance, Zach, and Colin. They had the training to defend themselves. But between us we had four women, four young children, two babies on the way, and a dog that my actions had put in the path of danger.
That’s what had me tied in knots.