Chapter 7 #4
“Wow,” Rowan said, genuinely shocked at how nonplussed Ruben was by all this.
Rowan had always assumed Ruben didn’t take his aversion to touch seriously, pushing his boundaries when they were little kids and barely knew any better, and downplaying and ignoring it as they entered adulthood. Was it possible that was because he genuinely didn’t think it was a big deal?
“I don’t think I’d be comfortable watching someone I was interested in have sex with someone else.”
Imagining Milo’s smile being directed at another person made Rowan’s hawk cry out as if in pain.
“Okay, well that’s good to know about yourself,” Ruben said, bringing the somewhat mangled can up to his mouth to drink. “Are you comfortable giving but not receiving?”
How had he gotten himself into this conversation? This was not something he talked about with anyone. Except…if any of his siblings would actually have useful advice, it would be Ruben.
“I can give…some things. Sometimes. It really depends on how well I know the person and if I’m feeling…” Rowan rolled his hand on his wrist. “I don’t know, comfortable? Safe? And even then, it’s not a sure thing.”
“I’ve had guys watch me jack off before,” Ruben said.
This time Rowan actually did drop his water bottle. Thankfully, it was almost empty, but the lid wasn’t secure, and water began leaking onto the rug.
“Shit,” Rowan grumbled as he jumped up to grab a towel.
Ruben merely rolled his eyes, not moving an inch from his seat on the couch. If anything, he seemed to lean farther back into the cushions.
Rowan got down on his knees to wipe up the water, and he kept his head down as he quietly said, “I could probably do that.”
“Let someone watch you? Or watch someone?”
The skin underneath his beard started to burn. “Either.”
“Well, that’s another good thing to know about yourself. If a guy offered that to me at the club, I’d happily go home with him. And I know it’s not just me who feels that way. You can have sex in a lot of different ways. Also, you can have relationships without sex.”
Rowan sat back on his heels and looked over at his brother. “That’s not what I want, though. I mean, if the other person didn’t want it, I could most likely live without it, but I’m not purposefully looking for a relationship with no sex at all. I just…”
“Need some accommodation," Ruben said, crushing the now empty can in his hands. “A lot of folks are willing to make those. You just have to ask.”
Rowan chewed on the inside of his cheek and stared down at the wet towel in his hands. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Ruben. If anyone would have experience with the multitude of ways people could be intimate with each other, it would be Ruben, but…
“Although you do have one problem you still need to solve,” Ruben said, standing up from his seat.
Rowan used the corner of his coffee table to stand up as well, rising a few inches above Ruben.
He looked down into his brother’s familiar chocolate brown eyes and immediately spotted the gleam of mischief in them.
That gleam had gotten them both in trouble on countless occasions throughout their lives, whether it be flying into sketchy caves and uncharted parts of the woods growing up or frequenting seedy bars and chaotic parties as adults.
“What?” Rowan said, his voice coming out flat.
“You won’t be able to ask someone if they can meet your needs if you don’t have anyone to ask,” Ruben said, grinning impishly as he bounced up onto his toes. “That’s why you’re going to come with me to Kickback’s singles’ event in two weeks.”
Rowan groaned and tried to step away, but Ruben reached out and caught his sleeve. It was a little clumsier than Milo had been. Ruben’s fingertips brushed against the hair on Rowan’s arm, and his hawk shook like it had been electrocuted.
“Sorry,” Ruben said, immediately pulling back. His mouth tilted into a grimace, and he looked down at the floor between them. It was almost the exact same look he’d gotten in fourth grade when he broke Rowan’s bike doing wheelies their moms had forbidden them from doing.
“It’s okay. You tried,” Rowan said, and he meant more than just the sleeve grab.
Ruben raised his head, all mischief and teasing gone. “Will you come with? I think it’ll be fun. You could even bring your new friend if you want.”
Rowan was absolutely not going to invite Milo to a singles’ event, at a club, no less.
Milo was obviously free to date whoever they wanted and go to as many events as their heart desired, but Rowan didn’t think he could purposefully invite Milo into a room full of horny, drunk singles and not do something inappropriate.
Like, hit on Milo himself.
“Okay, I’ll think about it.” “We have to buy tickets soon, or they’re going to sell out.”
Rowan sighed and stooped down to grab the dirty towel. “Alright, fine. Buy me a ticket.”
Ruben pumped his fist in the air, and that twinkle was back in his eyes.
Despite all Rowan’s complaining and some of the tension that still lived below the surface of their relationship, he could admit he liked seeing it there.