Rowan #3
Everything was okay, for now, but how could he tell Milo that he very much doubted they would be okay for long?
He drank the remainder of the drink, steadfastly avoiding Milo’s gaze.
“I think…” Rowan finally said, not really sure where he was going with that, but feeling the need to fill the tense silence between them.
He was rather surprised Milo hadn’t tried to fill it, but maybe they were picking up on Rowan’s mood. He felt like he was vibrating in his skin as his hawk paced around in his head.
He tried to clear his throat and start again. “I think Hank might be right. I’m feeling out of sorts.”
“Do you want to go home?” Milo asked, straightening up from where they’d been leaning against the bar. “I can drive you home and then swing back for Ray.”
“Actually,” a soft voice said, and Rowan turned to find Ray standing there with Ruben right behind him. “I think I’m going to head out, too.”
Milo looked between the two of them. “Okay, I’ve got space for everyone if you need a ride, too, Ruben?”
Ray shifted back and forth between his feet. “I don’t think we’ll need a ride from you.”
Milo’s breath came out slow and measured.
“Ray mentioned that he’d never seen a refurbed Mustang before, so I offered to drive him,” Ruben said, the frenetic edge gone from his voice, but replaced by something else Rowan couldn’t place.
“Are you good to drive?” Milo asked.
Ruben opened his mouth, but Ray let out a quiet scoff. His hair parted on both sides of his head, and two black cat ears popped out. “He wouldn’t have offered to drive if he wasn’t being safe. He hasn’t had anything to drink tonight, just like you.”
That…was a surprise, actually. Rowan never monitored Ruben’s drinks, but he was fairly sure he drank when he came to the club.
“Right, Ruben?” Ray asked, looking over his shoulder at Ruben.
Ruben’s eyes were locked on Ray’s ears, a small, wonderstruck smile on his lips.
“Rube?” Ray called, and Rowan’s hawk gave an alarmed kee-aww. They were using nicknames? Seriously?
Ruben shook his head, as if awakening from a trance, and stepped up to Ray’s side.
“Right. I never drink here. I don’t mix alcohol and sex, or…
” He trailed off and turned his head to look at Ray, just as Ray looked up at him.
“Or anything else. Like driving this cutie home and maybe finishing our conversation from the dance floor?”
Ray blushed, and his cat ears twitched. “That sounds good to me.”
That sounded decidedly not good to Rowan. “Finish our conversation,” my ass. If it had just been him and Ruben, he probably would have said as much, but Ray had hearts coming out of his eyes.
Although Milo didn’t look particularly excited about this turn of events, they shrugged and agreed.
With that, Rowan’s fate was sealed, and he felt he had little choice but to pay his tab and accept it.
“Will you need to get your car in the morning?” Milo asked as they all walked out to the parking lot together.
“No, Troy and I had a late meeting, so he dropped me off here.”
“Oh, okay, perfect! So, we should still be all set for strawberry picking?”
Before Rowan could answer, Ruben broke off from the group. “My car’s this way.”
Ray hesitated before turning and throwing his arms around Milo. “Have so much fun tomorrow,” he said, and then at a much lower volume that he probably hadn’t intended for Rowan to hear, “And maybe tonight?”
Milo shook their head and ruffled Ray’s hair, which made Ray squawk in protest. His cat ears had disappeared, but Rowan had no doubt that if they were still there, Milo probably would have pet them. Hell, they’d looked so soft, even Rowan could understand the urge.
On some occasions, he was able to pet animals, especially ones that weren’t all up in his space.
His parents loved to feed the birds behind their house, and they would often fly onto their porch, landing on his family’s outstretched hands and shoulders.
Rowan had much preferred the neighborhood cat, which would allow Rowan to approach and give it a few pats before it went on its way.
Ruben also loved the cat. He’d gotten it to cuddle with him a few times by plying it full of nearly an entire bag of treats.
It was almost as if fate was laughing at Rowan. Maybe he and Ray could have actually been friends if things had turned out differently.
Maybe he and Milo could have been something, too. Maybe they could have talked tomorrow and decided to try to be more than friends who hung out and texted every day. Maybe they could have gone back to Milo’s place with their buckets full of strawberries and shared a berry-sweetened first kiss.
As he climbed into Milo’s cramped car, he forced himself to let go of that hope.
He couldn’t envision a world in which Ruben didn’t accidentally break Ray’s heart, and that meant there wasn’t a world in which Milo would want to get any closer to Rowan.
How awkward would it be if they started dating and they were forced to keep Ruben and Ray apart?
How would family gatherings go? Or their mating ceremony?
Rowan let out a soft grunt in the back of his throat, directed solely at his hawk. Mating ceremony? Seriously?
His hawk fluffed out his feathers and flapped several times as if he could somehow blow away all of Rowan’s fears.
If anything, it made them worse. His poor hawk was going to have an even tougher time than Rowan after this thing between him and Milo fell apart.
He’d clearly grown dangerously attached.
If only he’d worked up the courage to talk to Milo before tonight.
By the time they pulled into the parking lot of Rowan’s building, his hawk had started hopping around, fluttering his wings to give him airtime between each landing. Rowan had never seen him do this before, and it left him feeling disoriented.
“Hey,” Milo said, somehow having appeared at Rowan’s door. “You really do seem out of it. Would it be okay if I walked you up to your place? I wouldn’t feel right just dropping you off like this.”
Rowan looked dazedly around and found that Milo had already parked in one of the guest parking spots. Given no other readily available excuses, Rowan grudgingly agreed.
They were silent as they walked into the lobby and boarded a waiting elevator.
Milo’s scent filled the small space, and Rowan was hit with the overwhelming urge to invite them in.
If tonight was the only chance he ever got to have Milo over, he might as well make the most of it, right?
Maybe Milo’s scent would linger for a while, the way Ruben’s familiar scent always seemed to stay put well after he’d left.
As he fumbled with his keys, he tried to think of a casual way to invite Milo inside, but his hawk was kee-awwing so loudly in his head, all Rowan could do was step inside and wordlessly hold the door open.
Milo peered into the entryway but didn’t step inside.
“Do you want some…water? Coffee? Fruit tea?” Rowan offered.