Chapter 15
Author’s note:
Yesssssss, sexy times are here to stay!
Rowan
“So, when are you taking PTO to mate?” Troy asked, effortlessly keeping up with Rowan no matter how many times he sped up his pace.
Damn him and his long legs.
“I know you know how premature that is to ask, so I’m going to ignore it,” Rowan said, as they rounded a corner and the coffee shop finally came into view.
There was no way Troy would keep pestering him once they were within earshot of Milo…right?
“It’s not premature,” Troy insisted. “You’ve already been on two dates. If you count today’s coffee date as your third, you’re right in line with—”
“The unrealistic pace you and Raina set? Yeah, I don’t think so,” Rowan said, reaching the top speed he could achieve short of jogging.
Troy sped up to match him with a chuckle. “Speaking of keeping pace, now that I know you can walk this fast without breaking a sweat—”
“I can’t breathe,” Rowan huffed, only slightly exaggerating the breathiness of his words.
“You’re fine,” Troy said, flashing Rowan one of his boardroom-winning smiles.
Rowan considered slamming on the brakes, just to see how Troy would react, but they were almost at the cafe.
“I will be soon,” Rowan muttered.
It was actually Troy who slowed down, coming to a stop right outside the cafe. Rowan pulled up short and turned around to face his business partner and only current confidant.
He’d gone back and forth all Monday morning, wearing grooves into his office floor, debating whether to tell Troy about finding his fated mate.
He didn’t like asking Troy to keep things from Raina, but since she was still out of town and he desperately needed someone to talk to, Rowan had taken a chance and told him over lunch.
“That’s the best news I’ve heard in years! Of course I’m not upset!” Troy had boomed, garnering the attention of every other patron in the small sandwich shop they often frequented. “I have no problem keeping this to myself, so long as you tell Raina, Riley, and your moms as soon as they’re back.”
“Of course,” Rowan had said, making very pointed eye contact with his Caesar salad wrap. He had every intention of telling his family…as soon as he could get past the fact that the group chat had spent the entire weekend fawning over Ray.
Yes, he was adorable, and yes, the date he and Ruben had gone on to an amusement park on Sunday looked like a lot of fun, but Rowan had gone on a canoe ride date with Milo on Sunday, too, and hadn’t been able to share any of the copious number of photos Milo had taken.
He wasn’t even going to try to deny it. He was bitter, which he’d told Troy as they finished their sandwiches on Monday.
Troy had tried to reassure him that it was just Ruben being Ruben and Rowan shouldn’t let it affect his honeymoon stage with Milo, but Rowan couldn’t help it.
He wanted to gush to Raina about the eclectic collection of antiques in Milo’s apartment, and he wanted to get Riley’s advice on his first therapy session that Friday.
He even wanted his moms to pester him the way they were already pestering Ruben about mating-ceremony dates and dress codes.
Well, okay, maybe he didn’t actually want that last one. Not when even just Troy’s joking question had his hawk hopping around in anxious circles.
“Okay, so remind me one more time,” Troy said as several shifters dodged around them to enter the café.
“Milo knows that I know, and they know that you haven’t told the family, but they don’t know how upset you are about Ruben telling the family because you don’t want it to get back to Ray and ruin his honeymoon phase? ”
“Correct,” Rowan said.
“And you have no intention of bringing it up with Ruben?”
Rowan bit down on the inside of his cheek and shook his head.
Troy sighed. “You two are going to have to talk about it eventually.”
“No, we won’t. I’ll tell my family next week, probably Friday or Saturday, and then we’ll just move on. Like we always do.”
Troy’s dark brown eyes were far too knowing, so Rowan chose to look at the tie clip Raina had gotten him for his last birthday. It had little antlers on it, which Troy proudly pointed out to anyone who so much as glanced at it.
“I think maybe you should talk to your therapist about this. I mean, not just this but everything that’s happened between you and Ruben, and hell, you and your whole family over the years,” Troy said, not for the first time.
“After I cover all of the other things I need to tell her, sure.”
Like how he was practically crawling out of his skin with the need to figure out how he was going to manage intimacy.
Today would be the fourth time in as many days that he saw Milo.
They’d made out again on Sunday and exchanged brief kisses on the sidewalk after leaving the coffee shop on Tuesday.
Today, they would probably sit next to each other, knees touching under the table, but what was going to happen when they went back to Rowan’s place that evening to watch another movie?
They weren’t going to mate, that was for sure, but would they jerk off together again? Would Milo ask him to touch them? To fuck them?
He wanted to. His hawk wanted to. It was just his damn brain or nervous system or skin or something that was holding him back…and was threatening to get in the way of them reaching the happily ever after it seemed Ruben and Ray were hurtling towards.
Of course, the added stress of all of that probably wasn’t helping, either.
“It feels like this might be a bigger issue for you right now,” Troy said.
Rowan shook his head. “I promise, it’s not. I know you’ve only known me and Ruben for four—”
“Coming up on five, I believe.”
Gods, had it really been that long? “Okay, for five years, but it’s always been like this. We were close when we were little, then we grew apart, but over the years, things have mostly settled down. We’ve always gotten on each other's nerves, but otherwise we’re—”
“Fine, yeah, I’ve heard that before,” Troy said, his arms uncrossing but in what looked like defeat, not acceptance. “Let’s just go inside.”
Rowan’s hawk lowered his head, and Rowan’s shoulders slumped. “Do you really think that’s what I should prioritize with my therapist first? Not Milo and everything I’m worried about with them?”
Troy didn’t answer right away. He studied Rowan with almost half a decade's worth of practice. “From everything you’ve told me about Milo, it doesn’t seem like you actually have anything to worry about with them.
You’ll figure it out, and sure, some guidance and advice might be helpful, but I think what you should really focus on is how your relationship with touch and your relationship with your family make you… ”
He seemed to search for the word as Rowan’s mind filled in the blank. Inadequate? Lacking? Unloveable?
“Distant,” Troy said, his gaze heavy on Rowan’s shoulders.
“That was the first thing I noticed when I met you. It was like something was holding you at a distance from your family— and not just the distance you keep to avoid accidental touch. Maybe that’s part of what you’re feeling with Milo, or what you’re afraid you’re going to feel, but the point I’m trying to make is I’m afraid this misunderstanding with Ruben is only going to make it worse.
The early stages of a fated mate relationship are exciting, but because Ruben jumped the gun, you don’t feel like you can share that with your family the way you wanted to—the way you should be able to. ”
The back of Rowan’s head prickled, and to his absolute horror, so did the backs of his eyes.
“Maybe I should be paying you $150 an hour for a session,” Rowan mumbled.
“The first one’s on the house,” Troy said, his smile gentle as Rowan fought to collect himself.
“Okay,” Rowan said, clearing his throat and running both of his hands down his face. “Okay, yeah, I see what you’re saying. I’ll try to bring that up on Friday, and, uh, work on not being so distant.”
Troy stepped forward into Rowan’s space, and his hawk squawked in alarm, but all Troy did was angle his shoulder, so that a moment later, when a loud group of teenagers passed by, the two gangly boys bumped into Troy’s back instead of Rowan.
Rowan’s vision blurred as he stared at those two antlers again. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Troy nodded towards the door. “Let’s go have coffee with your mate.”
“Fated mate,” Rowan said as he followed closely behind Troy into the cafe. “We’re not mated yet.”
“My beloved! And his esteemed business partner!” a voice shouted from somewhere in the crowd of shifters milling about the cafe.
They usually tried to get to the cafe before the lunch crowd set in, but they were running late today despite all Rowan’s speed walking. His little moment there on the sidewalk probably hadn’t helped either.
Before they could make their way much deeper into the cafe, Milo emerged from the crowd in a fire engine red skirt suit with shoulder pads straight out of the 80s.
It actually wasn’t a bad look on them, even with the neon green shirt, black polka dot tights, and chunky red heels.
Or maybe Rowan was just getting used to their style.
“I asked Camilla for your usual order, but I was a little nervous about being late and us not finding a seat, so that was thirty minutes ago. If they’re cold, I can order you new ones,” Milo said, wobbling a little on their high heels as they hurried back the way they’d come.
“Yup,” Troy said, popping the “p” obnoxiously. “Pretty sure it won’t be long now until you’re mates.”
Rowan’s hawk bobbed his head and shoulders, adding in a few tail shimmies for good measure. Rowan made his way into the crowd, deciding he’d rather brave the press of strange bodies than deal with his hawk or his smug brother-in-law.
Troy didn’t make him struggle for long. He caught up to Rowan and used his broad shoulders to clear a path. The second they emerged and Rowan caught sight of Milo again, his hawk added a few hops to his bobbing and shimmying. Perhaps the next steps of the dance?