Chapter 25
Chapter
Twenty-Five
An angry pounding on the door came before dawn the next morning. I’d been up for half an hour and was on my second cup of coffee, but no one wants to be disturbed at such an ungodly hour. I sent a trickle of magic out only to freeze.
Shit. I’d forgotten about Marek.
I scrambled off my chair and hurried to the door, tugging my robe around me. When I opened it, Rowan’s furious face greeted me. Sheepishly, I held the door open and allowed him to stalk in. Power ebbed and flowed around him, his face set in an angry mask.
“You almost died and didn’t think to send me a text?” He headed straight for the coffee pot and poured himself a massive mug.
“I’m so sorry. I forgot about Marek and how he might report back—”
“Screw Marek!” Rowan shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “I am your friend. Or at least I thought I was. When a friend has a near-death experience, it’s a good rule of thumb to tell them about it so they can help you!”
I winced. “I didn’t think. I’m so sorry. Caelan and Ben were here, and that was a whole thing—”
His brows flew up. “Both of them were here?” He hooted with laughter, his anger erased like a rushing river. “How’d that go?”
I put my hands on my hips. “You know damn well how it went.”
He grinned. “That doesn’t forgive what you did, but it helps.”
Rowan gestured for my mug. I reached down and handed it to him. As the Lord refreshed my mug, he kept talking. “Marek was really worried about you, but he felt like he would betray you if he called me.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s a terrible spy.”
I grinned. “Which is exactly why you volunteered him.”
“Yes, though I regret it now that I had to find out what happened to you two days later!”
He touched our mugs together.
“Is Marek here?”
“I sent him to a hotel.”
“Wait. Where was he staying before you arrived?”
Rowan’s dark brows went up.
“Rowan! You did not make that young man sleep in my driveway!”
“The Council wants what the Council wants.” He grinned at my outraged look. “Besides, it’s good for Marek. He’s gotten way too spoiled back home.”
“When does he get to stop?”
“When you give him something they can use against you, I suppose.” He sat on the couch and gestured for me to come over.
To his surprise, I sat beside him, only a few inches away. Rowan’s brow furrowed. “Everything okay?”
“Do you know anything about touch starvation?”
Rowan huffed a laugh. “I was wondering about that. When I first met you, you were the most standoffish natural mage I’d ever seen.
Our genetic makeup is different, but earth mages and humans with earth magic, and I, require more grounding.
For me, touch helps. I assumed your background was so varied you didn’t require it. ”
“Nope. I’m just dumb.”
His look was chiding. “We both know that’s not true. Ignorance is far different than stupidity. Who told you?”
“Cernunnos.”
His hand jerked. “The Fae King?”
“Yeah.” And since it was Rowan, I told him the truth. “He’s my father.”
Rowan stared at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. “That…explains a lot, actually.”
A snort escaped me. “Yeah. I’ll say. But the touch thing never occurred to me. Isn’t it weird to bring up to people?”
He kicked off his shoes and moved to the edge of the couch, turning so his legs were stretched out. “C’mere.”
I didn’t move for a moment. “You’re not going to make this weird, are you?”
He grinned, a sly, sexy thing that made me laugh. “Only if you want me to.”
Deciding to hell with it, I scooted closer and turned, settling in between Rowan’s legs, my back resting against his chest.
I felt an immediate sense of relief. “Shit,” I muttered.
“Yeah,” Rowan agreed.
“Why don’t I feel like this with Caelan?”
“Probably because you two are constantly having sex.”
I swatted his arm.
Rowan chuckled. “I’m serious. You two haven’t settled into anything yet. You aren’t quite friends, and even though you’re intimate, you don’t consider him a bonded lover.”
“And you?”
“I’m a friend, and I care about you, and you care about me. We have no complications. You and Caelan are a tangle of complications.”
“Is it really that easy?” I muttered.
“And that hard,” Rowan said.
“Would it have been easier if you and I had gotten together?”
I liked Rowan. He never made me want to kill him like Caelan did.
He toyed with my hair. “Maybe? I’m different from Caelan. All the Lords are different. But we all have a mega possessive streak when it comes to things or people we see as ours. Why? Would you want that?”
“I don’t know what I want. None of this is Caelan’s fault.”
Rowan snorted.
“Not completely,” I amended. “I’m a hot mess all on my own. I didn’t need his help.”
“You’re keeping a lot of secrets, Evie. It makes Caelan crazy.”
“He knows most of them,” I muttered.
“And you didn’t want him to. That also makes him crazy, FYI.”
“I don’t think we would have worked. You’re far too logical.”
Rowan tugged a lock of hair. “Hush. I’m lying with a beautiful woman giving her advice when I should be ravishing her.”
“Are you a big ravisher?”
He sighed. “Not really. I like plants. It doesn’t attract the ladies.”
“Then you’re looking for the wrong ladies. A lot of women love a guy who gets his hands dirty.” I thought of Gianna, my heart tugging at her loss. “It’s all the power you Lords collect. That attracts a certain kind of woman.”
“Women not like you.”
I grunted. “I almost ran, you know.”
“From Caelan?”
He didn’t sound surprised.
“Yup. Once I realized how enmeshed he was becoming in my life, I was so tempted to move the shop somewhere else.”
“He’d chase you to the ends of the earth.”
“I’m well aware.”
Rowan shifted and scooted me higher, wrapping an arm around my waist. I was warm and comfortable, and…content.
Which made me realize I had a fundamental problem with Caelan. There were too many secrets between us. Good—okay, mind-blowing sex—would not solve our issues.
“Do you want him, Evie?” There was a note in his voice I was unsure of. Rowan was rarely serious, so when he was, I listened.
“I want him.”
He filled in my unspoken words. “But not what he comes with.”
“Right. And he doesn’t want what I come with.”
“The Fae father?” He stilled. “Oh. Shit. You’re full fae.” Rowan laughed in amazement. “I forgot about your mother.”
“Yay for me.”
“Wait till I tell all my friends I snuggled with a fae princess. They’re going to lose their shit.”
“Shuddup, Rowan.”
His laugh made me smile.
“But that isn’t all.”
“Oh?”
“And I can’t tell you what it is, but Caelan knows.”
Rowan went still, his hand splaying across my abdomen. “Is it harmful?”
I’d gotten control over the beast. As much as I could. And my murderous tendencies had gone way down with Caelan allowing me to siphon magic on his lands. My shifting was mostly under control, and things had been especially calm since the seed had exited my body.
“It has the potential to be.”
“Hmm. How does Caelan feel about it?”
“I’m not sure much rattles that guy.”
Rowan fell silent for a couple of minutes.
When he spoke, his tone was grave. “Your Lord feels deeply, Evie. Deeper than the majority of the other Lords. He is not typical in his relationships. The man has never been a saint, but he never used and cast women aside. He never fell in love, either. Until you.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, but Rowan wasn’t finished.
“If you can bear to lose him, maybe you should let him go. But if you love him, truly love him, you have to realize he’s a package deal. Few Lords want to be in their position.”
“Donovan?”
Rowan scoffed. “I said few. There are some, like our recently deceased Donovan, who feel like it’s their birthright to gain power. People like Caelan, Thorvin, and I hope myself, we have the position thrust upon us and muddle through the best we can.”
“You don’t want to be a Lord?”
“Evie, if I had the choice, I’d be a hermit in the woods, surrounded by dirt, plants, and adorable forest creatures that fly into my cabin when I sing.”
I grinned at the imagery. “You’re the best person for the job, then.”
“Yes, I suppose I am. No good politician wants the job. But Caelan is better at the long game than the rest of us. He sees in you a genuine partner, someone who will love him and help him rule. If your distaste for power is stronger than your love for him, then you know what you have to do.”
“What’s your opinion?”
“I think you’re being weak on purpose.”
“Rowan!”
“I’m serious.”
“I don’t think I want you to snuggle with me anymore.”
“Liar. This is the best snuggle session of your life.”
I made a disgusted noise but made no move to get up because he was right. This was the best non-sexual snuggle session I’d ever had. “I do love him,” I said softly.
“I know.” He stroked a powerful hand through my hair.
“It sucks that our parents and events in our lives can fuck us up so bad. He’s shown you how he feels.
Maybe it’s time for you to do the same. If you don’t come to him eventually—if Caelan can’t see a light at the end—it may kill him, but he will walk away. ”
“Dammit,” I muttered. “I’m not any good at this.”
“You don’t have to be. It’s Caelan. I’ve known the man most of my life. Show up at the Keep in a trench coat, drop it when you see him, and tell him you love him. Bing bam boom, you’re pregnant.”
“You’re such an ass,” I said with a laugh.
“You know you love me. Set your coffee down and take a nap with me.”
“It’s six a.m.!”
“Yes,” Rowan agreed. “It’s the perfect time for a morning nap.”