Texts with Maria Two Years Ago
Peter: What’s wrong?
Maria: ???
Maria: Nothing’s wrong
Maria: I’m fine
Peter: That’s a lie
Peter: You haven’t been yourself all day
Peter: I don’t think I’ve seen you smile once
Peter: You don’t have your usual shine
Maria: My usual... shine?
Peter: Did I do something that upset you or made you uncomfortable?
Peter: Or did someone else say or do something?
Peter: If it was me, I apologize, and if it was someone else, tell me who, and I’ll take care of it
Maria: ...
Maria: When someone upsets me, I’m more than capable of handling it myself
Maria: But I appreciate the offer
Maria: No one upset me or made me uncomfortable, Peter, not you or anyone else
Maria: It was just a hard scene to film today
Maria: Cassia telling Cyprian how her parents died from the Plague was
Maria: ...
Peter: Emotionally intense?
Maria: Yes.
Peter: Okay. Then what can I do to help you forget about the scene?
Maria: Like I said, I’m fine, Peter
Maria: I’ll just hang out in my suite and read by the fireplace, and I’ll be back to my apparently shiny (!) self tomorrow
Peter: Nope
Maria: Nope?
Peter: You owe me, Ivarsson
Maria: I do not, Reedton
Peter: Did you or did you not moo at me yesterday when I was innocently drinking a bottle of water, thus causing me to jump and
spray poor Ramón and Jeanine with said water
Maria: Maybe
Maria: If I did do such a thing, I’m certain it would have been very fun to watch
Peter: Pay your debts, Pippi
Maria: What do you want, skitstovel?
Peter: Hold on a minute, I’ll be right back
Maria: You can’t hear or see me, but I’m sighing loudly and impatiently
Maria: ...
Maria: Peter?
Maria: Peter, did you fall asleep or get abducted by aliens or
Peter: Hold your horses, Ivarsson
Maria: Speaking of horses, are you terrified of them too, or just cows
Peter: I’m nobly ignoring that provocation
Peter: Anyway, Nava and Ramón are coming to my room in ten minutes, and so are you
Peter: We’re all going to watch that Tarzan remake, so you can ogle Alexander Skarsgard shirtless to your heart’s content
Maria: Skarsg?rd, not Skarsgard
Peter: Whatever, come to my room and objectify your oddly voweled countryman among friends
Maria: I don’t know, Peter
Peter: ...
Peter: Hold on a minute, I’ll be right back
Maria: AGAIN?
Maria: ...
Maria: Gods above, you’re a pain in my very delightful ass
Peter: Okay, Conor and Fionn are coming too
Maria: ...
Peter: Fionn’s making caramel popcorn and bringing enough for everyone
Peter: With a special bowl just for you
Peter: I’m literally sweetening the pot, Pippi, how can you resist
Maria :...
Maria: Dammit, Reedton, you know caramel popcorn is my fatal weakness
Peter: Of course I know
Peter: So you’re coming to my room, correct?
Maria: Yes
Maria: But if we sit together, you’d better not hog my throw blanket this time OR ELSE
Peter: As a good socialist, you should be willing to share the blanket’s wealth
Maria: Ah, but I’ve been influenced by my capitalist costar
Maria: Now I no longer see a need to address blanket inequality, however egregious
Maria: Blanket Greed Is Good, is it not?
Peter: Just get your very delightful ass over here before I spank it
Maria: ...
Peter: ...
Maria: ...
Peter: Please forget I said that. It was inappropriate.
Maria: ...
Maria: I’ll do my best.
Maria: ...
Maria: Why don’t I ask Conor to get you an extra blanket too? No need to share.
Peter: Probably a good idea.
Maria: Yeah.
Peter: ...
Peter: Yeah.