11. Luca
Chapter eleven
Luca
M y shoulders feel heavy with the weight of all the changes in my life. I feel fucking terrible that I suddenly have to add so much more to my family’s plate, and all because an ex of mine didn’t trust me enough to tell me she was pregnant.
What kind of fucked-up person must I be that she didn’t think she could tell me?
It only further adds to my frustrations.
Clenching my eyes tightly shut, with my hands balled into fists at my sides, I release a long sigh before shaking myself out and trudging into the house.
Ale’s lying across the couch with Gia resting on his chest, and the TV is set to his favorite rom-com. Mom calls these rom-cums , that thought the first to shake this feeling of dread.
I shake my head at the sight, a small smile tugging at my lips as I slip out of my shoes and head over to them.
“Ale, wakey, wakey,” I whisper behind him.
He opens his eyes to glare up at me. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was just resting my eyes,” he explains, slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle a yawn.
I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, okay…” I draw out the word. “You swap out with Gi?” I ask, confused as to why Ale’s here in his place.
“Yeah, he left a few minutes ago. I was dropping by to check on you guys and figured I’d relieve him,” he says with a low laugh.
I nod, grateful for the way they’ve all jumped right in to help me, not that I’d expect anything else from my family. “How come you’re so tired? The sun hasn’t even set yet.” I chuckle, rounding the couch to sit beside him and take Gia.
She wiggles in my grasp, groggily blinking her eyes at me before finding a comfortable position in the crook of my arm and falling back into a milk-drunk haze.
She really is the cutest kid. My kid.
“The wedding planning is taking more energy than either of us had imagined, and—” He looks down at his empty lap before peering up at me with an expression that makes my stomach churn.
“You’re wearing that guilty look on your face you used to give me when we were kids. Just because I haven’t seen it in a long time doesn’t mean I don’t recognize it,” I tell him warily, my brow quirked in question.
He sighs, leaning forward with his elbows pressed to his thighs. “You can’t say anything to anyone about this yet. I don’t wanna jinx it.”
“Fine, just tell me,” I practically beg.
He shakes his head, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Dante’s been helping us set up an adoption for a little boy named Oliver. We’re already in love,” he says, his green eyes glossy, “but it’s been such a process to get it together with everything else going on, and the fact that we aren’t married yet has complicated things a little. We have an advantage since Dante’s helping facilitate the adoption, but there’s still a lot of legal shit to trudge through.”
The hand not supporting Gia shoots out almost of its own will, smacking Ale in the back of the head. He bolts upright, gripping the spot before his bright eyes meet mine. “What the hell was that for?” he grunts out.
“For making me worry! You made it sound like something bad was happening, and honestly,” I tell him, peering down at my daughter, “I can’t take a whole lot more right now.” The moment the words leave my mouth, I realize how selfish they are. He and Kat will make incredible parents, and yet they’re struggling to adopt a child in need of a family. And here I am, feeling like I have the weight of the world on me because I’ve suddenly become a father.
Ale doesn’t seem to clock my shift in emotions though. He chuckles, dropping his hand back to his lap. “I know we may not have anticipated you becoming a father before me, but I promise, Luca, this is going to be good for you. I can feel it. And you’re already turning out to be an incredible dad.”
We both look down at Gia, soaking up these quiet moments before the madness begins again. “What’s meant for you will come; this is just a changing of the tides.”
“Alright.” I grab the remote control lying between us, flipping the channel to a sports station. “Enough of this romantic shit for you, buddy. You’re starting to sound like a poetic fortune cookie. Now get out of my house and back to your fiancée.”
Gia decides at that moment to have the burp of a lifetime, upchucking the contents of her stomach all over my dress shirt.
Ale tosses a cloth at me as he gets up from the couch, laughing at my misfortune. “And that’s my cue to leave,” he says as he makes his way to the front door.
I gently wipe the milk from Gia’s quickly reddening face, then readjust her onto a towel over my shoulder to burp her in case she’s got anything else brewing in there.
My gaze shifts to Ale’s as he watches me from the open door. “You’re going to be fine, Luca,” he tells me in an assured tone.
“Thanks, and thank you for watching her on such short notice. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime.” He grins and heads out the door.
***
“Shhh, Gia, please, mia bambina , stop crying,” I plead with her for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.
Her face is beet red, tears streaming down her cheeks as she wails so loudly I think my eardrums must be permanently damaged from it. My heart feels like it’s shattering as she cries.
I don’t know what the hell to do.
I’ve tried everything, and nothing is working.
My pulse speeds up as I dial Dante’s number, continuing to bounce on the balls of my feet as I wait for him to hopefully answer my call.
On the eighth ring, he finally picks up. “What is it?” he grunts into the phone. Before I can answer, a new voice comes over the line.
“ What he means is, good morning, Luca. How can we help you and that screaming baby?” Arielle’s chipper voice singsongs.
“Thank god.” I sigh. “She won’t stop crying, and I’ve tried all the usual things, and nothing has put her to sleep.”
“Have you tried skin-to-skin?”
“Yes, she’s currently wearing nothing but a diaper while I hope to god she doesn’t vomit on my bare chest.” I groan.
Her light laughter trickles over the line. “Okay, well, if nothing else is working, she may be teething.”
“Teething? Already ?”
“Yep, maybe try one of the frozen teething rings I put in your freezer the other day,” she suggests.
“You mean to tell me that some people breastfeed for over a fucking year, and these little gremlins can have teeth at three months old!”
“Having a baby with razor sharp teeth latch onto your nipple isn't all it's cracked up to be, unless we're talking about literal cracked nipples. This is why I'd knee you in the balls if you ever judge someone for formula feeding their kid. Now go get the teething ring so your gremlin stops screaming,” she teases.
I walk her over to the freezer and grab a dark-blue ring, offering it to Gia. She tries gripping it loosely in her fist, but I hold onto it for her as she mushes her gums over the cold silicone.
She continues suckling on it, and like magic, the screaming stops a few moments later.
“I don’t hear any crying. Does that mean I can go back to bed?” Arielle asks.
“Yes, thank you.” I blow out a relieved breath. “Sorry to wake you.” I look at the clock over the oven. “ Shit , at nearly four in the morning.”
“It’s okay, Luca. Call anytime. Goodnight,” she tells me, ending the call.
Gia’s eyes are puffy and red as she peers up at me. Her fine dark curls are a wild mess, not long enough to comb into a Pebbles-style ponytail.
My chest clenches. I barely even know her, and I’m already in love with this tiny girl in my arms.
I missed out on so much of her life; I’ll be damned if I miss out on any more.