34. Samara
Chapter thirty-four
Samara
“ N o, Mom, I don’t have time to go on vacation right now. I have a job ,” I tell her for the third time tonight. What I don’t bother saying is that I’ve blown through absolutely any funds I had set aside for vacation while helping Charice get back on her feet after we won her case last week, and I don’t regret it one bit.
“You work too much,” she tells me. “You need to let loose once in a while, and a vacation with your family is the best way!” She tries to convince me, but unfortunately, I disagree. A family vacation spent watching my nieces and nephews as my married cousins and my sister all go off to spend quality time together sounds like the opposite of a good time for me.
I groan. “Mom, seriously. I don’t have the time.”
“Chile, tap ih. Yuh mada jus waah yuh tuh tink bout sinting oddah dan wuk,” Dad tries to remind me as if I don’t already know her true intentions.
“Yuh work too much, sis. Yuh need to live a little. Let some a da island spirit and salt wata heal yuh,” she tells me. Heal me? Do I seem broken to her?
“Can we please talk about this later?” The three sets of narrowed eyes that have settled on me make it clear that, no, we can’t talk about it later. So I add, “I’ll think about it. When is this vacation?” I ask, hoping that by sounding interested, I’ll at least get them off my ass for another couple of weeks.
“The last weekend in August. The weather is usually better in the fall months, but since it’s the end of the summer, it shouldn’t be too hot, and our travel miles expire the first week of September, so I want to use them up,” Mom answers, sounding cheerful.
I nod slowly. “Okay, I’ll take a look at my work schedule and see what I can do.” But I meet my mom’s light-brown eyes as I say, “No promises though, okay? If it doesn’t work out, I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her seat. “I’m not getting any younger; this could be one of the last times we have this opportunity,” she tells me, her light accent coming out.
“Oh, here we go,” I say, standing to take my plate to the sink. I don’t bother to look at any of them as I rinse the dish. “You’re only fifty-five. Please stop acting like you had me in your forties. You aren’t that old, and you aren’t dying. Please just let me live my life how I want to and stop meddling at every turn,” I tell her, feeling regret the moment I finish. What makes this vacation any different? Why is she pushing so hard for it this time?
My family gets on my nerves, but they’ve worked hard to help me achieve my goals, even if my dreams have been so vastly different from theirs. Though my words weren’t a lie. I’m so tired of having similar conversations each time I’m with them.
Even though they’ve always supported me, they’ve never done a good job of hiding their disappointment that I chose to put my career ahead of finding a partner.
“Mi tink a time fi go yuh bed,” 1 my dad says, standing to usher my mom out of the kitchen.
Vea looks over at me, disdain clearly written across her face. She shakes her head and storms out into the living room.
I clench my eyes shut, trying to remind myself that I deserve to live the life I’ve worked so hard for, and I shouldn’t be so bothered when they react poorly to me speaking my mind. Sure, I could’ve been less rude about it, but sometimes, it’s just so overwhelming to have to deal with them getting on me about not having a family yet. They make it seem like I have no desire to be a part of this family or that I don’t want a family of my own when that isn’t even remotely true! I’m just not willing to drop everything for these vacations because they always shove my lack of a love life and my difficulty getting pregnant back in my face.
I grab my purse off the counter and slip my shoes on before locking up and heading out to my car.
Once inside, I slam the door, resting my forehead against the steering wheel. I release a long exhale before starting the engine and backing out.
***
I’ve had my face buried in these client files for hours since I got home. It’s probably time I get ready for bed because I know the case like the back of my hand, and frankly, it should be an easy win.
I finish wrapping my hair up, toss on my bonnet, and crawl into bed, putting my phone on the charger. I’ve got tons of texts, most of them I’ve been avoiding because I know they’re from my family after I left without saying anything. Did they really expect me to let them walk all over me? When have I ever let that happen?
Sure enough, there are tons of messages from my dad and Vea, and as expected, none from Mom.
Under their messages are a couple from clients, who I’ll respond to tomorrow, and one from Kat.
Kat Narvaez
Hey Samara! I know it’s a big ask, but any chance you’d be willing to come to our wedding party dance lessons on Sunday nights?
I love to dance, and while the idea of doing so with Luca doesn’t exactly excite me, I really like his family so far, and I’ve been wanting to make time for friends, so maybe it wouldn’t be a terrible idea. Plus, maybe I’d actually meet someone if I get out a little more or “loosen up,” as my mom always tells me.
Sure, send me the details and I’ll do my best to make it.
Kat Narvaez
Really? Oh my gosh, you’re the best!
Lol I said I’ll do my best. Don’t get too excited just yet.
Kat Narvaez
Understood haha, see you soon!
A minute later, she sends a text with the time and location to meet. I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to make it, but I don’t want to disappoint her if I’m not up for it. Hopefully, it’ll turn out to be a good time.
1. Jamaican Patois: "I think it's time for bed."