14. Avani
It saddened me that Akari and I weren't talking to each other.
We had never gone this long without speaking, and I felt lost without hearing from him.
I could admit I was to blame. I was letting my insecurities get the best of me, and that wasn't good.
Not when I was in a relationship with a man big on trust. I could end up losing Akari, which I didn't want to do.
I knew how he felt about trust, and I felt like I was letting him down by being insecure. It wasn't my intention at all.
If only I could let go of the past and let him love me the way I wanted to be loved.
It was bad enough that I hadn't heard from him in five days, which had me wondering when he would reach out to me.
I sent him a text this morning but haven't heard from him yet.
That had upset me, but I knew how Kari was when he got mad.
He had a temper that I didn't want to fool with.
To get my mind off of Akari, I was at the group home for the day, going over paperwork. We got two new kids, and all they'd done since they were here was cry. I could understand why since they needed to adjust. I could relate to that since I used to cry, too, but I did it silently to myself.
A few hours went by, and I was missing my man.
I hated that it felt like distance was between us.
I wondered if Akari was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him.
I needed to talk to Laisley before I lost my mind.
She was the only one who could help me when I was down like this.
I reached for my cell phone and dialed her number.
Hopefully, she answered and wasn't busy.
"Hello, sister. What are you up to?"
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I am going through it. Are you able to meet me for lunch?"
There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Hm, what have you done now?"
I grunted, not knowing how to answer that. "I messed things up between Akari and me, and I don't know how to fix it. Can you meet me at Dunk's Wings?"
"Yeah, I can. I just finished with a client. Whatever is going on with you, you need to let it go," she demanded.
That was easier said than done when I felt like I was messed up. I didn't know how the hell I backtracked, but I needed to get myself together. My sister was going to go off on me, and I knew I deserved it.
Thirty minutes later, I was walking into Dunk's Wings, looking for Laisley. Maybe she hadn't arrived yet. If she hadn't, it gave me time to order my food and find us a table. I was in love with Dunk's spicy garlic wings. It was a good thing they weren't packed in here like they usually would be.
Once I ordered my food, I found a seat and waited for Laisley to show up. While I waited, I checked my phone to see if my man had reached back out to me.
I smiled when I saw the text, but it turned into a frown when I read the text.
MyKariStar:
Wassup, baby? I'm just getting in from traveling. I'm going to hit practice up and go home and crash. I won't be able to make it tonight.
I was disappointed but had a feeling Akari was avoiding me. How many more days did he need away from me?
Me:
If you want, I can come to you.
He texted back almost immediately.
MyKariStar:
Nah, I won't be much company. I'm tired as hell.
Me:
Okay. Well, if you want me to show up, reach back out.
MyKariStar:
K.
I was so disappointed and wanted just to pop up anyway, but I knew I shouldn't. Since Akari wanted time away from me, I'd give him that. It broke my heart that we weren't talking to each other. I had to find a way to make it up to him.
"Sorry, it took so long. Lunch traffic is hell. How are you, sis?" Laisley slid into the booth on the other side of me.
I dropped my head. "I'm sad."
The server came and dropped my food off to me.
"Okay, so why are you sad? What happened between you and Akari?"
I exhaled deeply before giving Laisley the details of what happened between us. The only thing she could do was shake her head in disappointment. Hell, I was disappointed in myself, too.
She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of hand sanitizer.
"You won't stop until that man leaves you, I see.
How many times have I got to tell you that if you don't let go of your past, it will swallow you up?
I know you're not going to allow yourself to be sad all your life.
Akari is a good man, and I can see that he really cares for you. Do you want to lose that?"
Tears brimmed in my eyes.
"No, I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose him at all. I love him, but I haven't let him know that. I'm trying to let him love me, but I don't even know if he does or not. Gosh, all of this is so wrong, and I keep messing up." I wiped at a tear that fell from my eyes.
"At least you know you are at fault. As long as you know you are the problem, you can fix it."
"Oh, I plan to. Akari said he didn't want my company, but he's going to have it, anyway."
Laisley smiled. "Good. Don't let him push you away. It feels like that's what he's doing. Although he has a good reason to do so, don't let him."
I nodded, agreeing. "I won't. Thank you for always coming to my rescue. I don't give you the credit you need at times, but you are the best."
She beamed. "Thank you, but I know this already."
I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes. "Whatever."
We shared a laugh. Now, I could get to eating my food in peace since I had gotten everything off of my chest.
I knocked on his door and rang the doorbell repeatedly, needing to see Akari. If he were asleep, oh well, he'd better wake his ass up. I didn't know how long I stood outside, knocking and ringing the doorbell, before he appeared at the door with a mean mug on his handsome face.
"Man shit, Avani. I told you I was going to crash when I got home."
I pushed my way into the house. "Okay, so we can crash together. I came to sleep with you."
Akari sighed deeply, shutting the door behind him. "Fine, man. You might as well strip naked while you're at it. You got me up, so now he's awake, too. Put us back to sleep."
I smirked and started taking off my clothes. "That's something I can do."
"Umhm, yeah. Get your ass up them stairs."
Akari didn't have to tell me twice before I did what he demanded me to do.