Chapter 34
W here is it? My heart rate clamors inside my chest. Don’t panic, Peace. You just need to pull everything out of your locker. It must be here.
With my teeth pinning my lower lip, I toss a semester’s worth of gym clothing over my shoulder. At the very bottom of my locker, I spot it. I wrap my fingers around the journal and let out a sigh of relief. I was afraid someone had taken it. It contains too many revealing thoughts inside it. Ones I don’t want anyone else to read.
“What are you doing?” a deep voice inquires, a familiar and dreaded one.
“Lance.” I spin around, tucking the journal behind my back. Unfortunately, he takes my saying his name as an invitation. My heart races as he comes closer. Lance Warner is huge, an offensive lineman on the football team. He’s so massive, his blond head blocks the overhead lights.
“I didn’t hear you. You scared me.” My voice shakes standing in his shadow. I hate that I have another tormentor at eighteen who is just as bad as Mark. It’s embarrassing that I’m not any braver now than I was then. “The better question is what are you doing in here?”
“Clearing out my locker,” he replies, his gaze sweeping over me. “Same as you.”
“But this is the women’s locker room.” My throat goes instantly dry, knowing the gym is deserted. I had to ask a custodian to let me in.
“Why haven’t you returned any of my phone calls?” He ignores the inappropriateness of him being here as he speaks to me with his eyes on my chest.
“Because I don’t want to go out with you again.” My flesh crawls as I blurt out the truth and lift my chin. I wouldn’t have gone out with him in the first place, except he kept hounding me. He waited for me every day outside the economics class we shared until I finally broke down and agreed. It was a mistake. A colossal one.
“Why not?” With his ego not even dented, he takes a strand of my hair and winds it around his thick finger. My stomach churns, remembering the other time he did that. I lost an entire strand of hair getting away from him.
“Leave me alone.” I start to tremble.
“Don’t be like that.” He slowly grins. Sadly, I know now that he gets off on intimidating me. With my hands behind my back clutching my journal, I realize I’ll have to drop it to get my cell phone that’s in the front pocket of my jeans. It’s a risk. I don’t even know if I can get my phone out before he stops me. And I don’t know which would be worse: his hands on my journal or being forced to suffer him groping me again.
“Peace.” He releases my hair and slams both his palms on the metal on either side of me. “Pay attention. I’m talking to you.”
“Whh-what?” I startle, and his eyes darken.
“Don’t be afraid, little bird.”
“I’m not a bird.” Or an owl. Or a freak. I’m me, and I make my decision to drop the journal. Alex is waiting for me outside in the parking lot. Surely if I call him, he can get inside before anything too terrible happens. I loosen my fingers.
“Miss Jinkins.” The women’s soccer coach appears, stepping out from behind a column of lockers. “What are you doing in here?”
“I…I…” I stutter. With my heart hammering, I can’t catch my breath.
“Mr. Warner.” Her gaze narrows on Lance. “This is the women’s locker room. You shouldn’t be in here.”
“My bad.” Lance spins around to face her and rolls his shoulders. “I apologize.”
“Are you okay?” Coach Rivera asks, glancing past him at me.
I bob my head, but I can’t hide the tremors.
“Are you sure?” she presses. “You look scared.”
I am scared. I don’t know what it is about me that attracts creeps like Lance and Mark. Probably the same repellent weakness that earned me the nicknames in middle school and eventually cost me my only childhood friend.
“I’m okay,” I lie, but I’m not, and I wish Bo were still around to make me feel safe and secure like he once did.
“All right.” She turns to Lance. “Get out before I change my mind and write up an incident report.”
“Yes, Coach.” Lance takes off.
“Better scoop your things up, honey.” Coach Rivera’s gaze returns to me. “And close that door.” She gestures to my open locker.
“Right.” I turn around. Taking care of my things, I shove them inside my locker. It’s difficult since I’m shaking harder as the adrenaline drains away.
“I’ll walk you out,” Coach says when I turn around. “You don’t look so good.”
“Thanks.” My chin wobbles as I hug my journal to my chest. “You arrived at just the right time.”
“He did scare you.”
“Yes.” I nod.
“You shouldn’t have let him get away with it.” Her brow creases.
“I know,” I say softly. “But I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
“That’s what guys like him count on.” She frowns. “You really should report him.”
She’s probably right. But I’m not strong like her or most people. I want to believe I’m different. That I’ve changed. That I’m a better version of myself behind my shield, but I’m not. Not really. If anyone really looked close enough, they’d see that I’m the same Peace who’s always been there.