Chapter 57
“ H arm.” In the doorway to her room, I let out a relieved sob, seeing her finally awake. “Don’t ever do something like that to me again,” I admonish and fling myself at her.
“Go swimming?” she jokes, grunting as I hug her tight.
“No.” I pull back and frown at her. “This isn’t a laughing matter. No more drugs.”
“I know.” She glances away.
“Good.” I take a seat in the chair beside her bed and admonish her more. “No more drinking either.”
“In other words, you want me to be completely boring.” She makes a face.
“Sober isn’t boring.” I shake my head. “You need to go to rehab. Find a way to live your life without numbing your emotions.”
She glares at me. “And how’s that working for you?”
“I don’t understand.” My brow furrows.
“You run away whenever things get intense.”
“I don’t,” I deny.
“You do,” she insists. “You did it with me and Bo. You’re my sister. You’re supposed to love me. I needed you, but you left me alone in that house with our parents and their big, impressive lives and their impossible expectations.”
“I do love you, but I never thought of it from your side,” I whisper, twisting my hands together on my lap.
She nods tightly. “You’re not the only one going through shit.”
“I realize that.” Guilt pangs make my stomach hurt.
“You abandoned me when I needed you.” Her fingers curl into fists on top of the white blanket. “Though I guess I should have expected it. Even when you’re around, you escape into your books and music.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let you down.” Tears slip from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
“Talk Dad out of sending me to rehab,” she replies.
“You need to go to rehab, Harm. I know it’s scary, and it’s no fun acknowledging that you have a problem. But you’re strong. I know you can do it.” In the end, she’s the only one who can.
“That’s what he said,” she mumbles bitterly.
“Who?” I ask. “Dad?”
“No.” Her gaze drops to her hands. “Car.” She grips the white blanket so tightly her knuckles blanch.
“Oh.” I have a thought. “Did he say something similar that made you mad?”
“Yeah, and a bunch of other things.”
“Like what? What happened with him that night?”
She looks up. “What happened with you and Bo?”
“If I share with you…” I sigh. “Will you share with me?”
She gives that some consideration. Her heart monitor bleeps for several beats before she answers. “Okay.” She nods.
“Bo came to my room and apologized for upsetting me.” I try to recite the facts without emotion but know I fail. With Bo, there’s always too much emotion to contain. “He asked me to read to him. We cleared the air about a lot of things. We were in a good place, but I was tired. I fell asleep.”
“You were on a bed? Together?”
“Yes.” I nod.
“You do realize he’s a man, a very hot one?”
“Yes.” Boy, do I ever.
“But he didn’t try anything?”
“No.” I shake my head. Then admit, “But he kissed me today.”
“About damn time.” She leans toward me. “Was it good?”
“It was amazing. I didn’t want it to end.” I let out a shaky breath. “But I don’t think it was as amazing for him.”
“Bullshit.” She rolls her eyes. “Of course it was. That guy is crazy about you.”
“Used to be,” I mumble. “As a friend.”
“Did he kiss you back?”
“Yes.” And wow. “But he ended it when I wanted to take it further.” Much, much further. “He said it was a mistake.” My cheeks burn. It was humiliating.
“Because he thinks you’re too good for him, I bet.”
“I don’t think that’s it,” I disagree. “He told me he just needs me to be his friend.”
“When you really like someone…” She plucks at the blanket that’s pooled around her waist. “When you finally find someone you feel like you connect with, it’s scary to take that next step.”
“Yeah,” I admit. “That’s how I feel about Bo.” I bite down on the corner of my lip, thinking it through. “That’s how I’ve always felt about him.”
“I know.” Her eyes brighten. “Believe me, I know. I understand your situation on a much deeper level now.”
“Are you saying you connected with Carson?”
“Sort of,” she mutters. “But that was before I got wasted, said too much, and almost drowned.”
“But you didn’t drown. Bo resuscitated you.”
“Yeah, after Carson pulled me out of the water and ran to get him. If not for Car’s quick thinking…” Trailing off, she shudders.
“You’re here,” I say firmly. “No what-ifs. You’re going to focus on doing everything you can to get better. Then maybe you and Carson can resume?—”
“No,” she cuts me off. “He’s the lead singer in a rock band. He has a party every night with tons of beautiful women to choose from. I have a life to rebuild. It wasn’t meant to be. But you and Bo are an entirely different story.”
“Bo doesn’t see me that way,” I inform her. And he has all the same women throwing themselves at him that Carson does. I can’t compete with that. “It’s just a one-sided thing. I’ve always been halfway in love with him.”
“Maybe he’d consider more if you told him how you feel.” Harmony looks up and so do I as three sharp knocks sound on the door.
“Coming in.” Melinda pushes open the door.
“What’s going on?” I ask. Knowing she went into that conference room with Bo and my dad, I legit scan her for injuries.
“Men, that’s all. Just men being men.” She enters the room with her cane swishing back and forth. “I’m sure we can all agree they can be exasperating.” She lets out a long breath. “Sorry to interrupt, but I need to have a word with my intern. I have an important assignment for her.”