Chapter 80
“ W here’s Peace?” I ask George when I come back inside the building. I waited for her outside, but she never fucking showed up.
“Dunno.” He shrugs. “Haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Kay. Thanks.” I decide to look for Carson. As expected, I find him in the dressing room. He’s sitting in a chair in front of the mirror with Lilah doing his makeup.
“Have you seen Peace?” I ask him.
“No.” He shakes his head. “But she’s usually around when the venue doors open.”
“I know.” I nod.
“Not surprised you can’t find her. I’m sure you’re not her favorite person after what you said earlier.”
“I’m sorry about that.” I frown.
“Really?” His gaze narrows.
“Yeah,” I confirm. “I was pissed off. I’m still pissed. I don’t like Levi touching her. But I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“You do realize”—his ice-blue gaze narrows to an even finer point—“that you get all pissy when any of us get close to her, even before you started having sex with her.”
“Dude.” I make a slicing motion and point my gaze at Lilah. This shit is way too revealing to say in front of a groupie.
“Everyone knows you’re sleeping with Peace.” Lilah rolls her eyes.
“Not everyone.” I shake my head in denial, but I wonder if we’ve been too obvious.
“She’s War’s daughter.” Lilah points the brush in her hand at me. “You’re who you are. Everyone on the tour knows what’s going on. It’s only a matter of time before the whole world does.”
“Peace isn’t a celebrity.” I try to deny it, but I realize Lilah’s right.
“She’s not as big a deal as her parents or her sister,” Lilah allows. “But she’s a public figure, and you screwing around with her is newsworthy.”
“Maybe I miscalculated.” Worried, I rub my jaw. To me, Peace is just Peace. I hadn’t really thought about the celebrity aspect, but it seems like Lilah has thought about it a lot.
“Maybe ask the brothers if they’ve seen her,” Carson suggests. “But be cool about it when you find her this time, yeah?”
“Okay.” I step into the corridor again and almost knock down Stevie. “Have you seen Peace?” I grab his arm.
“No, man.” He looks up from his phone and frowns at me. “But I sent Levi to find her.”
“Why?” I ask, tension coiling in my gut.
“We’re afraid she might be upset.”
“Because of what I said earlier?” My fingers dig into his arm.
“There’s that, sure.” He nods and shrugs free from my grip. “But mainly because of the photos.”
“What photos?” My blood goes cold remembering the things Lilah said.
“Explicit ones,” he replies grimly. “Of you fucking Peace backstage.”
Peace
“Let me in!” Levi shouts and bangs on the bus door. “I know you’re in there.”
He can’t know. Tears burning my eyes, I stare at the images on my phone. I don’t know who took the photos. It had to be someone backstage, but it doesn’t really matter who did it. With these out there, losing my job is the least of my worries. For the rest of my life, everyone will remember me as the girl Bo Jackson fucked.
I hang my head in shame.
“Coming in,” Levi announces from inside the bus. I locked the door, but he must have used a key I don’t know about.
I wrap the blanket tighter around myself and curl into the smallest ball I can in the farthest corner of my bunk.
“Oh no, baby,” he says as he enters the sleeping compartment. Taking me in, he knows I’ve seen the photos, and looking at him, I know he has too. “It’s not that bad.”
“It is,” I disagree. If he already knows, everyone does. That means my dad, mom, and my boss. My stomach twists into a knot.
“No one is going to think less of you because of a few photos.” He comes closer and pats my knee.
“That’s easy for you to say.” My voice quivers. “But it’s not your boobs and everything splashed all over the internet.”
“If I were a woman as beautiful as you are and had tits like yours”—his tone turning teasing, he reaches under my blanket and tugs on my big toe—“I’d flash my headlights at everyone all the damn time.”
“My dad is going to flip out.” I drop my chin. “I’m going to lose my job.” And I already lost Bo.
“It’ll be okay.”
I shake my head. More tears well in my eyes. Nothing is okay.
“Can I come up there with you?” he asks.
I nod once.
“Thanks.” He tries to climb in with me, but the ceiling on my top bunk is too low for him to sit like I am. “Didn’t think this through. Just wanted to hold you.” He manages to lie on his side and asks, “Why is there crumpled paper everywhere?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” My tears flow faster.
“Where is she?” Bo suddenly shouts, and I startle. Heavy footfalls sound in the front lounge. My heart begins to race. I’m not ready to see him yet. I’m not prepared, but prepared or not, he’s suddenly in front of me. His eyes hit me. I know he knows when he says, “It’s not that bad.”
“It’s worse,” I disagree. “And the photos are only one part of it.” I clutch my phone and my blanket tighter. “We shouldn’t have done what we did. I shouldn’t have agreed to it.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He presses his chiseled lips into a flat line.
“Not more of the hurtful things you said earlier.” I score that point when he flinches. “Did you read the comments?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I haven’t even seen the photos. I just came straight here as soon as Stevie told me.”
“Right.” My cheeks burn. So Stevie saw me naked too. Everyone on the tour likely has. I’ll lose everyone’s respect. My world is spinning out of control. I used to have Bo to hold on to, but now I have no one. Scared and alone, I lash out. “Since you don’t read, let me read them for you.”
“Are those real?” I start at the top of the list. There are thousands of comments on this thread. “Is she for real? Why would a hot guy like Bo Jackson fuck a girl like her? Could she be any more ordinary? How can he even get it up with her wearing those horrible glasses? Do you think her famous daddy knows his best friend’s son is banging his daughter? Dude should put a sack over her face. At least her tits are nice.”
“Peace.” His voice is rough, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “It wasn’t me. I didn’t leak the photos if that’s what you were thinking.”
I wasn’t thinking that. Not until now. The room tilts. With all the spinning and tilting, I feel like I’m on a carnival ride.
“It doesn’t matter.” I grip my phone tighter, but I can’t make the hurt go away. Words are weapons and there’s a stockpile of them on the internet. “I’m grown up. I thought I left the bullying behind, but I’m still being made fun of because I’m me.”
“It does matter. You matter,” he disagrees. “And you have to know, I’d never hurt you like that.”
“But you did hurt me. Repeatedly. Just like my father said you would.” He sucks in a sharp breath, and I can’t help but feel bad for the pain my words cause him. “But I’m over it. I’m over you,” I lie. “Before all of this, I was getting ready to tell you.”
“Peace,” he cajoles. “Give it some time. It’ll blow over.”
“It won’t. You’re wrong. Leave me alone!” I shout, losing it. I need him out of the way. I need to focus all my energy on rebuilding my wall. It must be thicker and stronger this time.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He plants his feet and frowns. “Not when you’re like this.” He flicks his gaze to his friend. “Tell her, Levi.”
“It’s not for you to decide.” I slide around Levi and slip out of the bunk. “I need to pack my stuff.” My arms stiff at my sides, I don’t make eye contact with either of them. I hear Levi’s shoes hitting the floor behind me, but I don’t twist around to look at him, and I don’t lift my head to look at Bo either. I don’t want to see the pity in their eyes.
“You need to calm down.” Bo waves his hands in front of me like that’s all it takes to erase everything.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I lift my chin, the frustrated tears in my eyes spilling over. “You have no right.”
“That’s not true.” He shakes his head sadly.
“You don’t get to decide what’s true for me anymore. Not after what you said. Not after this.” I back away when he steps forward. I bump into Levi. He puts his hands on my shoulders.
“Please, Peace.” Bo’s jaw sets, a muscle ticking from his clenched teeth.
“No. No more.” My voice cracking under the strain of my emotions, I shrug away from Levi and glare at Bo. “Please give me a fucking moment to myself so I can get my shit together without anyone in my way.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “You should have considered that before you fucked me in a public place.” More tears slip from my burning eyes, but I swipe them away. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how deeply he’s cut me.
“You’re angry. You’re lashing out. I can take it.” His gaze hardens. “But I’m not fucking going anywhere until I know you’re okay.”
“I’m not yours to be concerned about,” I sob. “And you’re not mine in any capacity either.”
“Wrong.” He narrows his gaze. “I’m worried about you. I care about you, no matter what you think.” He pries my cell from my fingers. “You’re not looking at that shit on the internet anymore. It’s garbage.”
He tosses my phone to Levi and reaches for me, but I dodge him. Footsteps sound in the front lounge. My focus shifts. A relieved sob escapes. Unable to believe he’s here, I blink through my tears and blink again.
“Uncle Alex!” I throw myself at him. My shoulder brushing Bo’s, I register the spark of awareness from the brief connection, but I mentally shake it away like dust from a doormat. That’s all I ever really was to him. Something convenient to use and then wipe his feet on.
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Alex smooths my hair away from my wet face. “I was nearby on a shoot. My publicist told me what happened. I came as soon as I could.” Alex wraps his arms around me. I smash my face into his chest and cling to him.
“I didn’t leak the photos,” Bo denies angrily, apparently in response to an accusatory look from Alex.
“Her father’s lawyer can make that determination.” Alex’s words rumble from his chest to my ears.
“Daddy knows?” I whisper and hold my breath.
“Yes, Snookums,” he replies. “I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” It’s not okay. It’s far from okay. I squeeze my eyes shut. I hold my breath. I don’t want to breathe. Dread fills my throat, choking me. I toss a wish into the cosmos for it to all go away, for it to never have happened, for it to be a made-up story that happened to a character in a book. A cautionary tale. But it’s real. It happened. And unfortunately, it happened to me.
The leaked photos and all the hurtful comments flash before my eyes. One after another like a strobe light, they blind me. Without my wall, I’m unprotected. With no oxygen, my lungs burn. Seeing spots, the flashes slow. Darkness washes over me, leaving only tiny pinpricks of light. Then they blink out one by one. And so do I.