5. Chapter 5 - Emiliano
L ast night was never supposed to happen, but it fucking did, and now I don’t know what to do with myself or the way I feel. I should’ve never let Cole push me into losing control. Just what is it about him that clouds my judgment? How the hell do I forget all about my son when Cole is in my vicinity? It never used to be this way before he went to prison, but now it’s as if he has a leash wrapped around my neck, and he keeps tugging me along. It’s starting to piss me off. I’m no one’s fucking dog.
Yet, when his hand was wrapped around my cock, I forgot all about that. Hell, I was about to beg, but when he suggested it, I snapped back to reality. The problem is, for just one split second, he made me want to get on my knees for him. And that’s dangerous. I can’t want him that way. When I fall in love with someone, I consume them. I become crazed and obsessed. There’s no way I could do that with the only person in this world who is off limits to me. He’s Matteo’s, and I have no right to take him away. But I just can’t help but notice him now. I never had before. But for the first time ever, I’m seeing him as a man.
I’m noticing how handsome and fucking sexy he looks in those skinny jeans and leather jacket. So unlike me in every way. I wear suits, whereas he dresses down. Where I mostly keep my hair slicked back with gel, he lets his fall over his forehead. Where I’m more reserved until I’m pushed to my limits, he definitely takes what he wants when he wants it. And now he has me in his sights. I’m not stupid. I know he’s not going to give up until he gets what he wants. The problem is that once I have him, it’ll all be over for him. I’ll be a rabid dog who doesn’t want to let go. I’ll be starved for a bite of his flesh. I already am. Which is why I have to stay as far from him as humanly possible, while still living under the same roof.
How the hell do I even do that?
Just the thought of seeing him around Matteo is making my blood boil with jealousy—which makes absolutely no sense. Cole’s not mine, never has been, and never will be. I have to remember how insolent he is, and yet that’s half of the reason why it feels so fucking good to give into him. Even if I know I’ll have to push him away every single time. But that split second of weakness will get me through until the next time he comes back for more.
Fuck.
There should not be a next time.
I can not lose control. If it weren’t for all the sacrifices he’s made for this family, I’d have taught him a lesson or two by now for being a disrespectful little shit. Instead, my cock is getting hard over taunting words and a little thrill.
There’s a knock at the door, three to be exact, before it opens and all four of my brothers stroll in like they own my office. Luca, my right-hand man and soldier, strolls in right along with them. His eyes are wide, and his hands are shaking. I roll my eyes and shake my head at him. He can be so paranoid.
“It’s fine, Luca.” I sigh. “These fuckers were gonna find a way to get past you, anyway.”
He nods once. “Sir.” And disappears from the room.
My brothers all take a seat across from me, making themselves at home, and I lean back in my chair. The high rise I own for Colombo Real Estate is huge, and my office overlooks Manhattan. The floor to ceiling windows are a dream, and sometimes I stay late just to watch the sunset over the New York City skyline. This place is my home, and even the hustle and bustle of the city and all of its noise, has provided comfort to me for decades.
I look at my brothers. Giovanni is facing Lorenzo in his chair, showing me his side profile. Lorenzo, in turn, faces him too, and they’re having some kind of unspoken conversation, because suddenly they both turn toward me. Then there’s Alessandro, the craziest one of us, who is facing me head-on and waiting for me to speak. We’re closest out of all my brothers, and he has to know something is up, considering I haven’t left this office all day. Antonio—Tony—our youngest, clears his throat and raises a single eyebrow at me, daring me to speak.
Giovanni and Lorenzo are closest in age, and they somehow almost look like twins even though they’re not—they’re eleven months apart. Antonio follows closely behind, with being only two years younger than Lorenzo. They’re all still in their twenties, and Alessandro is thirty-four to my thirty-six. Which is probably why I’m closer to him than anyone else. Yet when it comes down to it, we all have each other’s backs. No questions asked.
“Do you bitches need something?” I ask them all, looking from one face to the next, then focusing on Tony. His bright green eyes shine with mirth, as if there’s something he knows that I don’t. “What?” I snap.
“Nothing.” Tony silently laughs, his body shaking with it. “I just never thought I’d see the day.”
“What day?” I frown.
Giovanni chuckles, and I give him my attention now. “The day you became obsessed with someone again.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snap. “I’m not obsessed with anyone.”
“Bullshit.” Lorenzo chimes in. “You’ve been here all day without letting anyone in. You’re not answering your phone, and you look like you want to punch someone.”
“And that somehow means I’m obsessed with someone?” I frown.
“Did someone die?” Alessandro asks with a smirk, leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs as he gets comfortable. His hazel eyes narrow. “Or are you dying?”
“No.” I shake my head. “But?—”
“No buts,” Tony says, interrupting me. “Tell us what’s really happening.”
I sigh, getting up from my chair and beginning to pace. Their eyes follow me to the windows, where I overlook the city and completely avoid their gazes. I don’t know how they’re going to react to what I’m about to say, but it can’t be good.
“Well?” Alessandro presses, and I huff.
“I fucked up,” I say slowly, my shoulders rising with tension towards my ears. “And I don’t know what to do.”
“Fucked up how?” Tony asks.
“Do we need to cut up someone into little pieces, then bury them?” Giovanni asks.
“Can I use my golf club?” Lorenzo asks, and I just know I’m going to get a headache.
They continue to rapid-fire questions at me, and I dutifully ignore them all. If they want to know what’s going on, they’ll shut the fuck up. Or Alessandro will make them.
“ Quiet ,” Alessandro growls, and I grin.
He’s so predictable.
Alessandro needs to be in control at all times. It’s probably one of the many traits we share. The only difference is that while I’m calm and collected, level-headed even, he’s batshit crazy. He doesn’t know when to rein himself in and I have to keep reminding him. Maybe that’s why he craves control so much. He’s definitely out of it.
“Now,” Alessandro begins calmly, “what were you saying?”
I turn to face him. “I royally fucked up, Alex.”
“How?”
“I—” I shake my head. “I?—”
“Yes?” Lorenzo smirks, and I narrow my eyes at him.
“Cole came on to me,” I blurt out, and they collectively gasp. Everyone except for Alessandro.
“No.” Alessandro shakes his head. “You can’t.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I snap. “I didn’t plan this.”
“Matty loves him,” Giovanni whispers, and I bristle.
“Don’t call him that,” I growl. “You know he hates it.”
“Do you hate it too now?” he asks with a smirk. “It’s Cole’s cute nickname for him.”
The truth is, I hate everything about this. About him. I wish he hadn’t moved in after prison. My life would be so much easier. “No,” is all I say.
“Emiliano,” Alessandro says gently, “he’s off limits.”
“He’s Matteo’s,” Tony says, raising his hands in defeat when I look at him.
“What?” Giovanni chuckles. “Don’t kill him—he’s not wrong.”
“You think I don’t know that? I feel like shit. Plus, I never looked at him this way until now,” I say, feeling the need to clarify. “And I’ve always been into women. Only women. This is… fuck, this is confusing me.”
“We know.” Alessandro clasps his hands in front of him. “It’s not even about the age gap, though. Matteo will kill you.”
“Fuck!” I yell, rubbing a hand down my face. “I fucking know it. But I can’t keep him away—we live together. He came out of my son’s room fucking naked the other morning.”
“Naked?” Alessandro asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh, they’re fucking fucking,” Lorenzo says with a laugh, and if looks could kill, he’d be six feet under. Probably cut into tiny little pieces from my knife. “Shit—my bad.”
“Tell me,” Giovanni asks with a smirk, “how did that make you feel?”
“I wanted to kill my own son,” I growl.
“Oh, he has it bad, ladies.” Lorenzo grins.
“I’m not a lady,” Alessandro grumbles. “What are you going to do?”
“I can’t kick him out.” I sigh, “So instead I’m here. And I’ll stay here as much as possible until he either moves out or forgets about his little obsession with me.”
“Well, at least we know you’re not freaking out because he’s a guy,” Lorenzo says with a shrug. “I thought that would be more of a deal breaker for you.”
I shake my head. I’ve never been into men before. Sure, I can acknowledge when someone is attractive, but that’s about it. Cole, on the other hand, has my body doing all kinds of crazy things. Like popping boners in my office at the mere thought of his hand on my cock again.
I’m so fucked.
“That’s not even the important thing right now,” I tell him, hoping he’ll drop it. I’ll process my sexuality on my own time. “Or the worst part.”
“Wait, it gets worse?” Tony raises an eyebrow.
I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, trying not to strangle each and every one of them. “He wants me bad,” I say through gritted teeth. “He treats me like?—”
“Like?” Alessandro asks.
“Like he’s in charge.” I sigh, going back to my desk and sitting down on my chair. “He’s not going to stop until I give in.”
“ Did you give in yet?” Giovanni asks.
Yet ?
I bristle, even though I know he’s technically right. “Kind of,” I tell him, remembering Cole’s calloused hand wrapped around my cock. It felt heavenly. If I had the chance to do it again, I would. In a heartbeat.
Alessandro sighs. “Be reasonable.”
“You don’t even know the meaning of that word,” I snap. “You and your crazy ass.”
“Don’t get him started,” Giovanni says, and I roll my eyes.
“He’ll cut you again, Emiliano,” Lorenzo reminds me.
“Can you just leave?” I ask them. “I’m probably staying here tonight.”
“Why?” Alessandro narrows his eyes at me. “You could be balls deep in him .”
My jaw drops, and I can hear my brothers snickering. All of them except Alessandro, who, in turn, is as serious as ever. “What the fuck, Alessandro! I won’t do that. You’re supposed to talk me out of it.”
“Am I?” he asks, tapping his chin with his forefinger. “We both know you don’t listen to shit we say. You’re like one of those girls constantly asking her best friends for advice, just to go back to her ex and fuck him anyway.”
“After she’s been cheated on,” Lorenzo says.
“Repeatedly,” Giovanni adds.
“I get it,” I say through gritted teeth. “But I’m not going to do it—again.”
My brothers laugh at me, and a shiver runs down my spine. I could kill them all right about now and feel nothing but a deep sense of satisfaction. They’re really pissing me off.
Just not more than Cole already has.