38. Chapter 38 - Emiliano
I t’s been exactly forty hours since Cole was taken, and I haven’t slept a fucking wink. Matteo said that Natasha was going to give him the information on one condition—that she come to us in person to discuss it. At my penthouse. My fucking home. I almost called it off, almost told him to tell her to go fuck herself. I don’t want her to know where I live, what my space looks like. I don’t want her to see the life Cole and I have built, but I’m desperate. My strength is waning with every hour that passes, and something tells me that Cole is closer to death than he was yesterday. If he’s not already dead.
I can’t fucking stand it—the thoughts swirling through my mind the longer he’s gone. I’ve never felt this weak in my entire life. But isn’t that what love does to you? Makes you weak? Fucked up? It sure as hell is making me feel that way. What if Natasha is secretly against us? What if she tries to kill us? It’s not like she’s ever cared about Matteo. She has never reached out to try to get in contact with him. Has never even asked about how he’s doing. She just…disappeared.
Here she is, though, on her way to my home, probably happy about the fact that I’m fucking falling apart at the seams. Matteo is pacing my living room, I’m standing near the elevator, and my brothers are just lounging on the couch like they own it. As if my life isn’t falling apart. They’re the picture of calm. I’ve considered that maybe they’re doing this on purpose, to keep me calm, but it just pisses me off even more. I want them to share my pain, not appear nonchalant. But I know that’s a big ask. They’re probably pissed at him for hurting me. And I am hurt. Probably beyond repair.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to us once I rescue him. But I have to go get him. I can’t just let him die. At the end of the day, he is the love of my life, even if I’m not his. I can’t deny that I’ve already been mourning him. I’ve been in bed, unable to get up to shower or eat. I’m weak. I know I need to get my shit together now that Natasha is coming with information, but it’s hard to do when it feels like my world is in shambles.
If it weren’t for Alessandro staying with me this whole time, I don’t know what I would’ve done. While he hasn’t been able to force me to shower or shove the food he makes down my throat, he has been understanding and compassionate. He has treated me like he knows what it feels like to have his heart broken, and yet that can’t be right. He has never had a partner before. Not anyone that I’m aware of. Yet he has sat with me on the couch with my head on his lap, fingers threading through my hair as he soothes me when I sob. It’s almost like when we were children all over again. He was always the one taking care of me instead of the other way around. Sometimes I think he should’ve been the eldest. Should’ve been the head of this family. But I got stuck with something I’ve never wanted, and now here I am. With nothing left.
None of it matters. This empire doesn’t matter to me, especially not if I can’t share it with Cole. I used to think my businesses and Matteo were all I needed in my life. I wasn’t happy, but I was content with it all. Resigned. But I was wrong—so very, very wrong. None of it makes sense without him anymore. Maybe I’ll retire and move away. Cut my losses, take my money, and disappear. God knows it’ll destroy me to see him with my son again, and isn’t that what he wants? Fuck, that kiss was telling. He can deny it all he wants, but I saw it. My eyes have been opened. Not to mention what my son said to me.
He loves me too.
I should’ve known it wasn’t one-sided. That he reciprocated Matteo’s feelings. Now that I know…I can’t forget about it. I don’t know how to move on from it. Don’t know how to live with this knowledge. All I can hope for is that he’s alive and can be happy with whoever he chooses, even if it’s not me.
My buzzer is loud, telling me Natasha is here, and just for the briefest of moments, I hesitate. I remember her twenty years ago and how beautiful and nice she was, but that image crumbled the moment she handed over our child. And now what? She wants to come play house? Fuck that and fuck her. But I can’t deny that I need her. In this moment, I’ll let go of my pride and worry about the end result. Getting Cole back. She has information; she told Matteo as much before he invited her here. So I’m going to shove my ego way down deep and give her a chance.
I let her in, and a moment later, she appears in my elevator. My brothers are quiet as she steps into the penthouse, and I look over at Matteo to see his reaction. His eyes are wide as he takes in his mother in the flesh, and she smiles softly at him. She looks almost the same, as if she’s only aged a few years rather than two decades. Her white-blonde hair is loose down her back, styled with curls, and she’s wearing a tan wool coat around her form, clad with stilettos. Some things never change.
Natasha seems completely unbothered by the fact that her father is going to die. In fact, she seems eager for it. Which I guess makes sense. She probably hasn’t been treated well over the years. He forced her to marry some creep, for fuck’s sake. A man older than her by thirty years, who she was engaged to since she was a fucking child. Disgusting. I thank my lucky stars that I don’t have a daughter. I’d probably have a lot of men jumping at the chance of an arranged marriage.
Matteo walks toward her and engulfs her in a hug, her small form almost disappearing between his arms. She’s tall but slender, and I can’t deny that a lump forms in my throat at the sight. I don’t know why I suddenly feel emotional, but if my son wants this—wants her in his life—then I have to be supportive. I guess she’s not too bad if she’s helping me get my fiancé back. Then again, maybe she’s only helping us because Matteo loves Cole. Not because of me. Yeah, that would make more sense.
She pulls away from his hug and smiles up at him, then turns on her heel and faces me. Her smile widens, and she comes to me and gives me a hug, too. She smells like flowers, smells so wrong, but I hug her back because it feels like I have to. I’ve never hated her, not really. She gave me the best gift I could’ve ever asked for. My son.
“Natasha,” I say softly as she pulls away from me. “Thanks for coming.”
She nods. “Well, my son called me, and I couldn’t say no.”
I almost ask her when she’s ever cared about him, but I bite my tongue until I taste blood. Now is not the time to question her. Now is the time to get information out of her. Swallow your fucking pride.
“Do you know where he is?” Matteo asks, and she turns toward all of us. “Did you find him?”
“Of course I did.” She grins. “Or I wouldn’t be here.”
“And what do you get out of it?” I ask her, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you helping us?”
“Besides wanting to see him dead?” She frowns. “He’s a piece of shit. It’s time for someone new to take over.”
“And who will that be?” I hope it’s not her fucking husband, or I’ll have to kill him too.
“My husband wants nothing to do with it. He’s getting old.” She shrugs, as if reading my mind. “My father’s business partner will be taking over. He is younger, and my father has been training him for this since Andrey died.”
“So, he basically knows nothing.” I nod slowly. “Andrey only died a month ago.”
“He’s capable, and he’s been working with my father for a very long time.” She tells me, looking around the room at my brothers. “He’s going to help us with his men, under one condition.”
I stiffen at that. “What is it?”
“One of your brothers has to marry his son.”
My brothers all burst out laughing; everyone but Alessandro. Instead, he narrows his eyes at her. She can’t be fucking serious right now.
“You’re joking,” I chuckle, but she seems serious.
“Those are the terms for his help.” Natasha shrugs. “His men can take down my father’s men. Easily.”
“We’ll bring our own men, too,” I tell her, and she nods.
“Good.” She smiles. “Then what’s it going to be?”
“ Fuck ,” Alessandro mutters, and I look at him. He has a look of determination on his face. “I’ll do it.”
There’s a moment of collective silence as everyone in the room turns to look at him, and Natasha’s eyes crinkle in the corners as her smile turns into a grin.
“Good choice,” she says, “He’s young. Twenty-four. Really pretty.”
“I don’t care.” Alessandro shrugs. “He’s just a husband.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “There will be a contract. You will consummate the marriage, and you will be monogamous. Petrov doesn’t play around. He will look after his son.”
“Fine,” Alex says through gritted teeth. “I accept the terms. Now, can we get on with it? I feel like bashing someone’s head in.”
“Very well.” Natasha nods. “I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”
“Will you be coming with us?” I ask, genuinely curious. Will she face her father and tell him she was our mole? I really want to know.
“Yes.” She nods once again. “I will be by your side.”
I look over at Matteo and find him smiling at his mother, and I almost roll my eyes. But I can’t even deny how relieved I feel she has information.
“He’s not in a warehouse,” Natasha starts. “He’s in a safe house in upstate New York. He’s secluded, and no one would know where he is, except father texted me to let me know he’d be there. He offered for me to go with him, and I declined. He didn’t think anything of it. That was his first mistake.”
I nod, urging her to continue with my hand.
“There are twenty guards. Ten of them surrounding the perimeter, and ten inside. We will need all the men we can get.”
“Done,” I reply. “I have one condition.”
“I’m helping you, and you have conditions?” Natasha raises an eyebrow, but she seems amused instead of annoyed. “You’ve always been funny.”
I ignore her comment. “I kill your father.”
She thinks this over and nods. “Fine.”
Well, that was easy. I definitely didn’t expect that.
An hour later, I’ve gathered all my men and have them get into vehicles. Luca is driving me and my brothers, and we even pull up the third row seating for Matteo and Natasha. I want them to be protected with us. This vehicle has tinted and bullet-proof windows, and I’ve realized I can never be too careful. Who knows if she’s tipped him off? What if Sokolov knows we’re coming? What if this is all a trap? She has no reason to help us. None.
Except for Matteo.
Swallow your fucking pride.
* * *
We pulled up about two miles from the safe house, which is in the middle of nowhere, and now we’re on foot wading through the woods. Thankfully, we’re wearing snow gear, because we’re knee-deep in white powder. I fucking hate the snow. But I’d do anything for Cole, so I suck it up and don’t complain. I don’t say a fucking word as I lead the way, with Luca at my side and Matteo right behind us. I look back and see Natasha is flanked by Petrov’s men, and I let out a deep breath.
Fuck, I’m nervous. I can’t help it. We’re about to storm into a house with twenty men. One of us might die, and I can only hope it’s not one of my brothers. At least if I die, I know Matteo will take care of Cole. I try not to think of that, though, mostly because it makes me murderous all over again, and my son has been helpful in helping us find him.
We’re completely silent as we slowly make our way toward the house, the only sounds being loud breathing and the crunch of our boots in the snow. My feet are cold and cramping despite me having great boots, but I try to ignore it as best as I can. After about an hour of walking, we finally make it to the edge of the house. I can see the guards surrounding it, and a shiver runs down my spine. The trees are all dead with no leaves, so really, we barely have any cover. They’ll notice us soon, which means we have to be ready.
“We need to split up,” I whisper and look back, and Matteo nods slowly. “Some of us take the front, the others take the back. We can’t let them escape.”
“Done,” Matteo whispers back.
My men and Matteo follow me through the woods and toward the side of the house, and Petrov’s men go toward the back, along with Natasha. I don’t focus on them anymore, though, instead we make our way out of the woods and toward the guards on the side of the house. I pull out my handgun with the silencer and shoot one of them in the head, and he falls over. The guy he was talking to is stunned into silence, and when he looks up at me, I shoot him too.
We stealthily press our bodies to the side of the house, and Luca leads the way. He’s at the edge of the home and looks over, then nods. We storm the three guards, shooting them all. One of them doesn’t die, and he shoots back until Luca is hit and slumps over.
Fuck.
No.
Not Luca.
I drag him to the side of the house and see he’s been shot on his left shoulder, which is better than I thought, and he just shakes his head at me.
“Keep going,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’ll be fine.”
I nod. “You,” I say through gritted teeth, directing my attention to one of the men behind me. One of my men. “Stay with him. Protect him with your life. If he dies, I’ll have your fucking head.”
He nods quickly, then comes to Luca’s side, standing beside him with his gun at his side. We hurry along, walking to the door, and I look back at my men. At Matteo. There’s a look of determination in his eyes; they’re cold and narrowed. His jaw is set, and I know he’s as ready as he’s going to get, but I ask anyway.
“Ready?” I search his face for signs of doubt, but there’s nothing.
“Let’s do this,” he replies.
Just like that, I open the door to the house, and we’re greeted with utter silence. There is no one here. Not one fucking soul. I look around the house and notice the living room first, but I barely glance at it. I’m a man on a mission, and I don’t have the time to take it all in. I’m in search of something, anything, that will lead me to Cole. When I finally find a set of stairs that lead to the bottom of the house, I signal my men to halt.
There, at the bottom of the stairs, right in front of a door, are two guards. I shoot one in the chest, and he shoots back, missing me but getting one of my men. He falls to the ground with a loud thud, and I curse, shooting the other guard manning the door in the head this time.
Fucking hell.
They probably already heard us, and when I look back, I see Natasha beside Matteo and all of Petrov’s men behind us. My brothers come to stand right behind me, and I lead the way down the steps. Once we make it to the bottom, I hold my breath and open the door. Loud music is blaring from some speakers, and I realize they probably don’t even know we’re here. So I hurry inside, my brothers flanking me, and we quickly begin to shoot.
I find Sokolov sitting on a chair right in front of Cole, who is hanging from the ceiling by chains clasped over his wrists. He stiffens when the shootout begins, but I don’t have time to look back and see what’s happening. No, I go directly to Sokolov, who’s pulling out a gun from his holster and aiming it at me.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I say with a smile. “It won’t end well.”
“No, what won’t end well is this.” He gestures toward Cole. “Him.”
“Kill him and I’ll bury you alive,” I reply through gritted teeth.
He grins. “Worth it.”
Sokolov turns toward Cole, pointing the gun, and I shoot him in the head. Unfortunately, his gun goes off right before he falls to the ground, and I notice the bullet hole in Cole’s right side of his chest. There’s utter silence, and then Matteo screams. I run towards Cole, and his eyes widen as he looks at me.
“Em,” he whispers. “ Em .”
“It’s okay, Cole,” I whisper, unclasping his hands from the chains, and he falls into me. I hold him up, barely. He’s dead weight. “You’re going to be okay.”
But I realize that may not be true. He’s bleeding profusely, bleeding all over me, and I yell for my brothers to get the car to us. Matteo and I carry Cole up the stairs and out of the house together, and once we’re in the car, I press my hand to his wound with a blanket. He’s freezing, his skin cold, and he’s also shivering.
“Fuck, don’t do this to me,” Matteo says from the front seat, but Cole’s in and out of consciousness, not aware of anything surrounding him. “Cole! Snap the fuck out of it!”
My nostrils flare as he talks to my man. My everything. But I don’t snap at him; instead, I press a kiss to Cole’s cheek. I turn his head slightly and lean in, whispering in his ear.
“You’re so strong, baby.” My throat tightens, and tears start welling in my eyes. I breathe through them. “You’re going to make it out of this. Don’t you dare fucking leave me. I need you.”
My driver speeds up as I tell him we need to get to the nearest hospital right fucking now. Matteo already spoke to one of the surgeons and offered him an astronomical amount of money to operate on Cole. We’re paying for his discretion, and he agreed. The only thing Cole needs to do is hang on.
“Only a couple more miles, Cole,” I say soothingly, pressing my hand harder against his wound, and he groans, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. He’s still in and out, his face pale, sweat running down his temple. “Hang on for me. Please .”
We finally pull up to the hospital, and Matteo and I jump out of the car. Suddenly, we’re swarmed by nurses who put him on a stretcher quickly and lead him inside. We run after them, but we’re led into a waiting room. I don’t pay attention to anything except for one of the recliners, and I sit down with my face in my hands, letting myself finally break down.
He’s probably not going to make it out of this.
He was shot in the chest.
He could fucking die.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he dies. It would be my fault. We were sloppy. We should’ve had a better plan. It’s at this moment that I wish I hadn’t killed Sokolov so quickly. I wish I could’ve made him suffer more than I did. The way he died was fucking merciful and painless. I fucking hate it. He deserved worse than that. Cole deserved more from me.
“You really do love him, don’t you?” Matteo asks softly from his chair across the room.
I look up at him, making eye contact. “Yes.”
He nods. “I can tell.”
I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down, to no avail. What I’m about to say goes against everything I feel, but I can’t be selfish right now. If Cole survives this, he’d be getting a second chance at life.
“What you said to me about him loving you…” I shake my head, trying to snap out of it. “If he wants to be with you after this, I won’t stand in the way. I’ll let you have him.”
Matteo shakes his head. “He didn’t even notice me standing beside you, Dad,” he says sadly. “He called for you. You’re the one he wants.”
My heart flutters in my chest, because yes, he did. In his weakest moment, he called for me. “I’m just letting you know, still.”
“I appreciate that,” he replies, “but he already chose you.”
“I don’t know, son.” I shake my head. “Death can really put things into perspective. Maybe he changed his mind.”
“I doubt it.” He sighs, running a hand down his face. “He’s yours, Dad.”
“Will you come around, Matteo?” I ask, a lump forming in my throat. “Will you go to therapy with me?”
“Yes, I’ll go to therapy with you.”
I deflate, relief filling me to bursting. “Thank you. I won’t let you down again.”
“You can’t ask for the world, though.” And I know I can’t. I really hurt him. “I don’t think I can go to your wedding.”
“I understand.”
“Cole won’t.” He chuckles. “He’s fucking stubborn. He’ll want me there.”
“I’ll talk to him.” I sigh. “If he even makes it out of this.”
“Don’t say that,” Matteo snaps. “He has to make it out of this.”
He does, doesn’t he? I can’t imagine a world without my Cole in it. I never saw him as more than my son’s best friend, not until he got out of prison, but I can’t deny I’ve always cared for him. And how couldn’t I? He’s… him. Cole lights up every room he enters. He’s the life of the party.
And now? He’s everything I could’ve ever asked for. He’s everything I need. I love him so much, it’s incapacitating. I can’t even blame Matteo for loving him, too. What’s not to love?
“You’re right.” I run a hand through my hair and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes. “He does have to make it out of this.”
The nurse comes in right then, sitting across from us, and her face says it all. She doesn’t have great news. Fuck.
My heart drops, my stomach flips, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out. I have to be strong for Cole and for my son. I can’t be the one to break down. Not right now. Not again.
“His heart stopped twice during surgery,” she says, and my breath catches in my throat. “We were able to get it restarted, thankfully. He’s almost done. They’re just stitching him up right now. He’ll be going to the ICU right after, and he’ll recover there. Only one person will be able to stay with him.”
I nod. “It will be me.”
Matteo scoffs, but I don’t give a fuck. Cole needs me, and he’s with me. Until he wakes up and tells me he doesn’t want me anymore, he’s still mine. I really don’t care what Matteo has to say about it.
I can’t care.
All that matters is Cole.