Chapter 61 Highs and Lows
-Annie-
Watching Drew get drafted is the best and worst thing I’ve ever been a part of.
I’m so excited for him and proud of him.
I’m also extremely sad, knowing he is going to be gone in days, and that our time getting to walk across the grass separating his house from mine is going to end much faster than I expected.
We will have to go days, weeks, and possibly months without kisses, without hugs, without me seeing that dimple in person.
I should have thought about this more. I mean, I love baseball—I know the draft happens and that the guys drafted head off to play in the minor leagues almost right away.
I mean, we have a minor league team within driving distance from our house, and the lineup changes from one season to the next.
At a fundamental level, I’ve known this would be the result of him getting drafted.
I guess I’ve pushed all my rational knowledge to the back of my brain when it comes to being separated from him, because this feeling of emptiness is unexpected and not what I thought I’d be feeling.
I sit, watching him beaming on stage in his new Arizona hat, and I try to remember to smile through my internal struggle.
While he is away backstage, I talk to his parents in between rounds and watch other guys beaming on stage.
For each of them, I only feel happiness at seeing their dreams come true.
About forty-five minutes later, my phone buzzes on the table.
Drew Davis
I finished press, go to the back and a security guy will bring you and my parents to the waiting area
Annie
Look at you getting us the VIP treatment already
I let his parents know the plan and we find the security guy.
He is nice and asks all about Drew with the Davises while he escorts us to the area to meet Drew.
Drew appears, talking with his agent, and I hang back, watching my professional baseball player boyfriend shine in his excitement.
It radiates from him: the dimple never leaves his face as they wrap up the conversation before Drew sees his parents and jogs over to them, all sharing a big hug.
He looks at me, takes a few steps to my side, and wraps his arms around me in a huge hug.
He takes my hand, leading us back to the group to rejoin the conversation with his parents and his agent.
Drew’s dad asks the question I don’t want to know the answer to yet.
“What happens next?” Drew smiles at his dad and says, “Well, I was thinking dinner, I’m starving.
” I can’t help laughing along with the group.
We go to a fancy restaurant near the hotel we are staying in.
I excuse myself when we first arrive to go to the bathroom, and I look at myself in the mirror while washing my hands.
I will be happy: he is still my future no matter where he is, don’t stress, I tell myself.
Leave tomorrow’s problems for another day.
As I look into the mirror, I see a smile on my face, and I push all my worries away and go celebrate with my guy.
***
As soon as we get home, Drew is busy getting ready to go to Arizona.
He takes so many calls in the first five days, my head is spinning trying to keep up with all the details.
When he isn’t on his phone, we can’t be separated.
Even now that almost two weeks have passed, we haven’t talked about the fact that he leaves tomorrow.
It’s like neither of us wants to break the bubble or acknowledge the separation that is coming whether we want it to or not.
When I came over a few minutes ago, Mr. and Mrs. Campbell were headed out to dinner.
It’s nice that they are going out, because I selfishly want time alone with him, to be connected to him.
I make it upstairs, and we make quick work of getting naked.
We then take our time showing each other how much we love each other.
We are both taking our time, touching, stroking, and kissing each other.
A moment grows where we are watching each other's expressions. I am enjoying watching his face reflect how he feels about our bodies being connected and it reflects how he feels about me. I can’t help myself, and I wrap my hands into his hair and say, “I love you, Drew Joseph Davis.” Drew’s dimple appears as he runs his hand up my side, following a path up my ribs and over my breast. His hand continues to travel up my neck to settle against my cheek before he says, “I love you more than you can imagine, Annie Marie Campbell.” I can feel all the ways he loves me, and they aren’t just in the ways our bodies are connected.
He seals his words with an unending kiss.
I’m not even sure when it ends, because I fall over the edge into my orgasm, and Drew joins me in the falling.
***
My body has cooled down and we are still twisted around each other, naked in Drew’s bed.
As my brain turns back on, I take in Drew’s mostly empty room.
All that is left are his childhood mementos.
All his newer pictures have been packed away, and the painting of us has been removed from the wall.
It makes me feel good to know he wants to take it with him—to have this reminder of us, of me with him wherever he goes.
The words escape me, "I’m going to miss you, Drew,” and I hear the catch of sadness in my words.
“I knew when you got drafted that you’d have to leave, but I wasn’t prepared for this feeling: this feeling of dread and sadness mixed in with all the happiness and pride I feel. ”
Now that I’ve said the words and they are out there between us, a little weight has been lifted from me.
I’ve been putting on an act in front of everyone, and it’s been exhausting.
I’ve hated feeling like I was somehow lying by omission to Drew.
“I’m going to miss you too, Annie,” he replies before he shifts our bodies so that we are on our sides and our faces are level with each other.
“I love you, Annie. We need to come up with a plan to make this work.” He sounds so serious about making this plan.
I reply with, “I love you too. What is your plan?” “Well, I want to talk about it with you,” he says with a smirk.
“Oh, I see, Dimples. You want me to plan,” I say and can’t help the smile.
“I mean, you did plan my seduction twice, and both were very, very good plans,” he laughs.
“Ok, fair point, I’m good at plans,” I say before giving him a quick kiss.
I think over all my worries from the last five days.
What would we have to do to make this work?
“We need to have three non-negotiables: like, we have to talk every day could be one.” Drew smiles and says, “See, you are a better planner—that is a great idea. I like the idea of talking every day. Maybe make sure we do video chats at least three times a week?” “That is a good one,” I reply.
Then we both sit for a little while in silence, before Drew says, “I want to say phone sex—does that make me sound like a perv?” I laugh.
“Yes, major perv vibes,” I reply to him before adding, “I agree with you, though. If I can’t touch you,” and I emphasize my point by running my hands against his abs, “I’ll still want moments like this with you, however I can get them, but only over video and no pictures.
” “Deal, now before my parents come home, do you think we can get in another round of in-person touching?” He kisses me, and we get in two more rounds.
I don’t even notice when his parents come home, or that my curfew has come and gone without the ping from the location app on my phone.
***
Drew left yesterday to go to Arizona. As he drove away, I couldn’t help the tears that streamed down my face.
I must have cried harder than I thought, because Craig had wrapped me up into a side hug.
He didn’t say anything as Drew’s car made the turn and disappeared.
I locked myself in my room and cried for the rest of the day.
Mom came up to check on me, and I told her everything was fine.
She didn’t seem to be convinced, but she’d left me alone.
Today, I’ve sat on my bed all day, having emptied my body of all the tears it can shed.
I feel ridiculous—we didn’t break up, we are still together, but just not right next to each other.
I hear the knock at the door. “Come in.” I am expecting my mom again, but it’s Meg.
“I come bearing gifts,” she announces, as she has two bags full in her arms.