Chapter 16
Their last day in Fiji passes without much drama. No heavy conversations, no big breakthroughs. Just Kieran periodically complaining about random stuff and dishing out underhanded insults. In short, it feels like any other day.
Ash loves it. Loves watching Kieran slowly open up to him, make jokes—mostly at Ash’s expense, but who cares?—and enjoy himself without keeping his guard up.
“This didn’t suck as much as I expected,” Kieran says the next morning as they’re getting ready for their airport pick up. In Kieran’s language that means: This was dope!
“I’m glad you had fun.”
“I didn’t say I had fun.”
“Mhm-hm.”
“Hey, behave,” Kieran warns for the hundredth time. “Unless you want me to tell the airport security you have a bag of cocaine shoved up your ass.”
“Funny coming from someone who usually has something up his ass.”
Kieran stutters, his face crimson. “Y-you fucking pervert!”
“What?” Ash blinks innocently. “I was talking about that giant stick you seem to carry around.” He grins knowingly. “What were you picturing?”
Ash does occasionally feel bad for teasing him, but only in the way a cat feels bad after knocking a glass off the table. Which is, not at all.
Karma will probably catch up with him eventually.
Turns out, karma works a lot faster than you’d think.
As Ash steps through the security scanner, one of the officers points at him, then crooks a finger in a clear come here motion.
Behind Ash, Kieran is cackling. “Perfect. This is my chance.”
“Just remember we’re traveling together,” Ash reminds him calmly. “If I go down, you go down with me.”
The way Kieran’s expression flips from gleeful to horrified in half a second is priceless. Ash bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He wouldn’t really throw Kieran under the bus.
Probably.
Maybe.
Grinning, Ash steps forward to where the officer is gesturing.
He raises his arms, staying still. The pat-down is pretty standard and methodical.
The officer’s hands skim all the way from his shoulders to his sides.
When they pat around his butt, checking the back pockets before sliding over to the front, Kieran almost loses it.
He unsuccessfully stifles a laugh with his hand, looking like he’s only missing the popcorn.
What a child, Ash thinks affectionately. He loves seeing Kieran have fun, even if it’s at his expense.
Once on board and buckled in, Kieran’s not laughing anymore. His knee is bouncing, his grip on the armrest white-knuckled as the plane taxis down the runway.
“You okay?” Ash asks, suppressing a grin.
While not a fan of seeing Kieran scared, he can’t help but enjoy this a little.
Normally, it would be at this point that he’d reach for Kieran’s hand and comfort him while they take off.
Alas, this Kieran is still a prickly cactus who might stab if approached too hastily.
“Peachy,” Kieran replies through clenched teeth. “Love flying. Huge fan of being in a metal tube that defies gravity and logic.” He squeezes his eyes shut as they speed up. “How did I survive the flight here?”
Ash leans in, whispering, “I’m good at distracting you.”
He can feel Kieran’s glare even through the closed eyelids.
“Uh-huh. How about you walk your talk now, huh?”
“I’d love to, but I think it would get me punched.”
“Pervert.”
It’s not until Kieran grips the armrest so hard Ash is afraid he’s going to hurt himself that he finally reaches for him.
“What are you doing?” Kieran opens his eyes to stare at their joined hands.
“Just holding your hand. That’s all I’ll do, I promise.” He keeps his voice low. Comforting.
Safe.
He lets his thumb brush lightly over Kieran’s knuckles, gently coaxing him to relax.
It works; of course it does. This is Kieran, and whether he likes it or not, subconsciously he trusts Ash. Or at least his body does.
His mind is the only thing that needs convincing.
When his grip loosens, Ash takes the opportunity to intertwine their fingers. Kieran’s palm is clammy, but he doesn’t mind, riding the high of being allowed to do this.
Kieran doesn’t protest, just exhales through his nose like he’s trying not to die.
“Breathe, Kieran, you’re okay. I’m right here.”
Kieran squeezes his hand so hard Ash’s knuckles crack.
The plane lifts off.
No one dies.
Kieran keeps his eyes shut during the ascent. Ash shamelessly uses the opportunity to stroke his hand and whisper calming words into his ear.
The minute they’re level and the seatbelt sign turns off, Kieran’s eyes are snapping open.
“You can let go now,” he says, voice strained. He’s looking straight ahead, his expression forcefully neutral.
“So can you,” Ash throws back at him. Not to be an ass, but because he doesn’t want to let go.
A muscle in Kieran’s cheek jumps, and he shoots Ash an impressive side glare.
He doesn’t let go.
Neither does Ash.
“Hey,” Kieran starts, cheeks flushed. “In the video, the other me said I was about to learn fucked up things that would be hard to believe. What are those?”
“Not really a conversation for a pressurized cabin full of strangers,” Ash says. “And you’ll want the whole gang around.”
“There’s a gang?”
“Sure is. Dawson, Cal, Gabe and Ellis. And Zeke too, I guess. Although I have a feeling he’ll be stripped of his membership soon,” Ash says, only half-joking.
“When I get my hands on that little shit…” Kieran growls, squeezing Ash’s hand.
“Ouch. Don’t take it out on me. If you want, I’ll hold him while you beat him up.”
Sorry, Zeke, but I have a heart to win over. We weren’t that close anyway.
“Do we have to tell them, though?” Kieran asks, suddenly nervous.
“About the time-travel?” Kieran nods. “We’ll have to, because I honestly can’t think of another way to explain how you suddenly forgot some very important pieces of information.”
“The amnesia bullshit worked for Dickhead. Can’t see why we can’t take some inspiration.”
“Cal wasn’t faking.” More like Cal wasn’t Cal, but that’s a story for another time. With less people around.
Kieran scoffs, stubborn as always. Damn, just seeing that pouty, grumpy expression is getting Ash all riled up.
Stand down, Ash Junior. Not the time.
“Anyway, you can just tell me the information I’m missing. I can fake it,” Kieran suggests.
“Kieran, you’re a terrible liar.”
“Am not!”
“You just lied. Poorly. Plus, it’s more complicated than that.”
“Uh-huh, whatever you say.” Letting out an impatient huff, Kieran concedes. “Fine, when can we see them?”
“Whenever you want.”
“Good. Can’t really imagine anything more shocking than what I’ve already been through, though.”
Ash seals his lips together.
“What’s that face for?” Kieran instantly notices.
“Nothing. Don’t mind me.”
“What do you think I’ve been trying to do this whole time? Aagh!”
The plane shakes. Not hard, just enough to be a little disconcerting if you’re not a fan of flying.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just a little turbulence,” Ash soothes him, ignoring the fact that his hand is being used as a human stress toy.
“That’s not turbulence. That’s death knocking.”
“Unlikely. Your future self would’ve given us a heads-up,” Ash points out, making a mental note to have his hand x-rayed when he gets home.
“Well, my future self is a dick. I wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot to mention that.”
“You shouldn’t speak negatively about yourself. I warned you about what happens if you do,” Ash reminds him.
“Shut up, that doesn’t count. I was talking about my future self, a completely different person from me,” Kieran argues, squirming nervously. He can definitely recall Ash’s warning.
“Not really,” Ash disagrees. The Kieran he knows is a happier, more confident version of this one, but at heart they’re both the same. Sharp-tongued, hot-tempered, and always two insults away from melting into Ash’s arms.
“Remember when we first met?” Ash asks, both to distract Kieran from the ongoing turbulence, and to witness his annoyed expression.
He’s not disappointed.
“Are you trying to piss me off?”
“I thought you were the most intriguing thing I’ve ever seen.”
For a moment, Kieran sits dead still, barely breathing. Then he lets out a shaky huff. “Good to know you were already having fun at my expense.”
“Not at your expense,” Ash corrects. “But being around you was so refreshing.” Twisting until they’re almost facing each other, Ash runs the tip of his finger over Kieran’s wrist. “People always try so hard to be polite, even when they’re upset.
They sugarcoat everything, smile when they want to scream.
But not you.” He catches Kieran’s gaze, giving him a full-blown smile as he recalls the memory.
“You couldn’t stand me, and you didn’t try to pretend otherwise. ”
Under Ash’s fingers, Kieran’s pulse quickens. His lips twitch, like he too finds the memory hilarious now. “Why would I care what you thought? You were a stranger.” To himself, he mumbles, “With an annoyingly symmetrical face.”
“Well, I thought…” Ash drops his voice low, like he’s about to share a secret. Without probably realizing it, Kieran leans into him. “That you were funny, and cute, and sexy—”
“Dude.”
“—and one glare away from being thrown on a mattress.”
With an expression that would have a weaker man pray for his life, Kieran says, “Fucking pervert. We were at the movies. Dawson and your freaking cousin were there.”
“Is having an audience your only objection?” Ash grins like a Cheshire cat.
“Being with you is my objection.”
And because Kieran is right—Ash is a pervert, and possibly skirting a morally grey area—he conjures up an image, a scene, then creates a connection between his and Kieran’s minds and sends it through.
It's not something he made up. It’s a memory, a most cherished one, of their first anniversary when Kieran told him I love you for the first time.
He didn’t say it like that, of course. In true Kieran fashion, there was a lot of babbling, a few insults thrown in, before he blushed like a tomato and mumbled: “Why I had to fall in love with such an arrogant ass, I’ll never know. ”
That’s not what Ash is showing him now—Kieran’s definitely not ready for love confessions.
No, Ash shows him what happened after. When he stripped Kieran bare and pounced on him like a man possessed.
When he pinned Kieran under him and kissed him slow and deep and needy, then fucked him the exact same way.
When Kieran moaned and cried so hard he lost his voice, clinging onto Ash like he would die if he didn’t hold on.
Kieran makes a sound between a squeal and a gasp, eyes like saucers. He shakes his head violently, as if to banish the scene from his mind.
Stifling a laugh, Ash leans in. “I don’t think I believe you.”
“I don’t give a shit what you believe,” Kieran retorts, out of breath like he’s run a marathon. He squirms in the cramped seat, suspiciously tilting his hips away.
Damn, this is way too much fun to stop. But Ash really should, before he gives Kieran a stroke.
“The turbulence is over,” he casually informs him.
Puzzled, Kieran just stares at him for a moment, as if Ash spoke in Finnish instead. He looks around, then down at their joined hands, before letting go. Slow, unhurried, not like a person who’s trying to get away as fast as possible.
“How are you feeling?”
“Your distraction techniques are questionable,” Kieran mutters, but he doesn’t sound upset. More embarrassed than anything.
“So I’ve heard.” It’s Ash’s turn to be nervous. He twirls his thumbs, staring at Kieran’s profile a little too intently, before Kieran barks out an annoyed, “What?”
“When we arrive…will you come home with me? It’s a two-bedroom apartment,” he rushes to add before Kieran can refuse. “You don’t have to be holed up in the same room with me. But I’d really like it if you stayed.”
“So you can keep an eye on me?”
The fact the answer is not an outright ‘no’ is already a success.
The fact that Kieran still sees Ash as some manipulative monster, not so much.
“So I can be with you. I always want to be by your side.”
Kieran’s lips part, but no sound comes out. He just stares at Ash as if he just shared the secret to conquering the universe (something Ash is actively working on, by the way). The moment stretches, making Ash hold his breath.
Running his tongue over his slightly trembling lips, Kieran says, “Fine.”
Ash exhales, a weight dropping off his shoulders. “Thank you.”
“I’m not doing it for you,” Kieran informs him, crossing his arms over his chest. “The alternatives suck. I don’t wanna be around Gabe and Ellis when they’re disgusting together, and I definitely don’t wanna stay with Mr. and Mr. Winters.”
Ash nods obediently. “Understandable.”
“After we get home—I mean, after we arrive,” Kieran corrects. “I want you to spill the beans. About everything. This whole—” he gestures between them, “thing between us. It’s not normal. Whatever dynamic this is, isn’t normal.”
“Of course not. Neither of us is normal.”
Kieran rolls his eyes, but there’s a faint smile playing on his lips.
“I can’t wait to return to my time. This has aged me ten years, I swear.”
“Technically, it’s only two ye—I’ll shut up,” Ash amends quickly at Kieran’s glare. Better not undo all his hard work now.
“Wise decision.”