Epilogue
Kieran wakes to warmth, the scent of roasted almonds, and a rough tongue licking his ankle.
“Tequila, quit it.”
“Meow.”
Ugh, goodbye, sleep. If Tequila’s awake, it means she’s hungry, and she will start screaming bloody murder any second.
Wait.
Why is Tequila here?
Kieran shoots up, the covers pooling around his waist. His bleary eyes sweep around the room and land on the orange menace, who seems very displeased. She usually is when she looks at him.
He’s home. Not in Fiji, which is where he remembers falling asleep. Home.
Making a hasty grab for his phone, he checks the date. “Holy shit.”
It happened. It really, actually happened. He knew it would, but knowing and experiencing are two vastly different things. Even more so when it comes to freaking time travel.
“Holy shit,” he repeats. Tequila meows again, as if in agreement.
Kieran chuckles. “Come here, you little devil.” Ignoring her protest, he scoops her up, cuddling her to his chest. “You have no idea how great it is to see you.” He smooches her furry cheek.
“Meow!”
“Okay, okay. Off you go.” He releases her, and she wastes no time in bolting, throwing a look of utter disdain at him from the doorway.
Kieran giggles, falling back onto the mattress. Next to him, Ash shifts from his side onto his back with a groan.
Ash. He’s here. He’s still here, sleeping soundly, in the same bed. In their apartment.
Because they made it. They made it.
God, Kieran was scared, so fucking scared he was about to lose everything he’d worked so hard for, waited so long for. There were so many potentials for screwing up—for past Kieran to screw up.
What if his younger self panicked too hard and left before Ash could talk to him properly? What if he didn’t watch the videos? What if he decided he didn’t want this life, preferring his comfort zone that was lonely and sad but familiar?
What if he acted out so much that Ash couldn’t take being pushed away anymore and gave up?
But he didn’t screw up. He listened. He tried. He fought.
He was brave.
A laugh catches in Kieran’s throat, quiet and trembling. He rolls over, rising onto his elbows to kiss Ash’s temple. Then his cheek. The corner of his mouth. Again, and again, unable to stop. Each kiss is a pulse of relief, of disbelief, of home.
He doesn’t remember being gone. But some part of him feels the shape of that absence, the shadow of something that almost went wrong.
It’s enough to make this moment feel like a miracle, and he’s gonna treat it as such.
As something precious and fragile. Something that can never be taken for granted.
He climbs on top of Ash and continues smooching him in earnest.
“Ow. Easy there, firecracker,” Ash mumbles, chuckling softly. His arms wrap around Kieran, keeping him there despite the complaint.
Kieran gives a watery laugh. “I love you.” A kiss. “I love you, I love you.”
That last night in Fiji, as he was falling asleep, he prayed that when he woke up, he would still get a chance to say the three words. That Ash would be there to receive them. Now they just pour out of him.
Ash’s sleepy expression transforms with a huge smile, and he slowly peels his eyelids open.
“Wow. What’s with the sudden—” He stills, mouth ajar. “Kieran? Are you…”
Kieran nods, summoning a shaky smile. “I’m back.”
Tension bleeds out of Ash’s body. His smile returns full force, but lasts only a moment before it falls. Something akin to regret fills his eyes.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He runs a hand over his face, which twists in apology. “This feels—”
“I know,” Kieran’s quick to reassure him. “It’s weird. You missed me, but you miss him too.”
Guilt flashes in Ash’s eyes. Guilt and grief. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
It should sting, but the opposite is true.
Because even though two years have passed, Kieran still remembers that niggling doubt that Ash preferred the future version of him.
That he was just putting up with past Kieran for as long as he had to, waiting for the day everything would go back to normal.
He remembers the jealousy and bitterness, almost hating the future version of himself.
So seeing Ash react like this, mourning the loss, doesn’t hurt. It feels like another love confession. Ash once told him he’d love every version of him, and this is proof he meant it.
“It’s not a goodbye,” Kieran promises, fingers sliding into Ash’s bedhead. “It’s ‘I’ll see you in two years, right here, like this’. Believe me, I would know.”
Finally, Ash smiles, though some sadness still lingers in his features. “I feel bad for him. I mean, the lengths he’ll have to go to so I get my head out of my ass.”
“Yeah, that was a doozy,” Kieran admits, grateful that shit is behind him. “On the other hand, you had to go through the same thing with me. Twice. We can consider it payback.”
“I prefer calling it ‘balancing the scales’.” He brings his hands to Kieran’s face, just cradling it reverently. “Where have you been?”
“I never left. At least, I don’t think I did. The last thing I remember is riding you into oblivion in Fiji, then praying everything would be okay once I woke up.” He turns his head to press a kiss into Ash’s palm. “And it is.”
Ash makes a wounded sound and draws Kieran in to take his lips in a heart-shatteringly tender kiss. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he murmurs, mouths still brushing. “You must’ve been so anxious, just waiting for it to happen and having no way of stopping it.”
Of course Ash would notice. Kieran wasn’t exactly subtle when making the videos. His anxiety was through the roof every time he sat down to record one.
“You keep telling me how brave and smart I am. I wanted to give myself—well, my younger self—a chance to prove it.”
“So now you believe me?”
“I have to, don’t I?” Kieran shuffles until he can rest his head on Ash’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “Thanks for not giving up on me, even when I kept pushing you away.”
“You’re never getting rid of me.”
Kieran hums happily, rubbing his face into Ash’s chest. Jesus, he’s like a damn cat. Good thing that Ash likes cats.
Kieran just lies there on top of him, letting Ash stroke his back, reveling in the knowledge that he gets to have this.
Forever. The hardest part is over, all his fears gone.
Well, most of them. He’s generally an anxious person, so some dumb shit will always make him worry.
For now, though, things couldn’t be more perfect.
Actually…
“Hey, Ash?”
“Hm?”
“There’s something I need to ask you.”
Ash stops stroking him, and shifts as if he’s trying to sit up.
“You know what? Me too.” He gently rolls Kieran off him and gets out of the bed. “Give me a sec. I need to get something first.”
Kieran sits up too and swings his legs over the edge. “Yeah, me t— What?”
Ash frowns. “What?”
“What are you getting?” Something smells fishy here.
Ash opens his mouth. Closes it. Narrows his eyes. “What are you getting?”
“Just…something from the closet.”
Ash steers his gaze towards the closet, then returns it to Kieran. His eyes narrow into tiny slits. “No, you’re not.”
Oh shit.
Kieran flings himself towards the closet, and promptly trips over nothing. He scrambles to his knees with a curse, and starts to stand up.
“Tequila, stop him!” Ash shouts.
The attack comes out of nowhere, as does Tequila. With a battle cry that’s more squeak than roar, she launches herself straight at Kieran’s calves before he even gets his legs under himself properly.
“Gah! That’s cheating! Let go, asshole!” Kieran stumbles, trying to shake her off, but the traitor clings on like she’s been waiting her whole life for this opportunity.
Time to pull out the big guns.
Kieran reaches back, shoves a hand between his calf and Tequila, and strokes her belly.
She flies off him as if someone yanked her by an invisible leash, running off with a defeated hiss.
“You’ll pay for this!” Kieran yells after her and hobbles over to the closet, sliding the door open. Adrenaline pumps through his veins as he digs around in the pockets of his khaki jacket, praying that past Kieran put the ring back where he’d found it.
His hand closes around the distinctly square shape of a velvet-soft box. Ha!
He spins around, a scream of victory on the tip of his tongue.
Ash is in front of him. On one knee. Grinning like a loon. Holding a nearly identical box.
“Nooo!” Kieran stomps his foot. “You asshole!”
“You snooze, you lose,” Ash informs him smugly.
“I wasn’t snoozing, I was attacked! Overpowered!”
“Hmm.” He flicks the box open, presenting Kieran with a ring. Shocker.
It’s a nice ring, fairly simple but elegant. Silver, with a tiny diamond sitting in the middle. Very Ash.
“Kieran. Marry me.”
Kieran’s heart soars. His stomach flutters.
He sniffs, crossing his arms. “No.”
“Yes.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Please?” Ash puts his other knee down, batting his eyelashes. “Pretty please? I love you, firecracker. Marry me.”
Kieran ignores him, his heart rate somewhere in the stratosphere.
“Please?” Ash repeats. “You’re the light of my life. Ketchup to my fries. Peanut butter to my jelly. Sun to my—”
“Oh my god, stop! Stop!” Kieran covers his ears. “I’ll do it. I’ll marry your annoying ass. Just stop talking.”
He’s never seen Ash smile so wide and bright. It takes him completely off guard, so much so that he doesn’t resist when Ash reaches for his left hand, which trembles. Ash has the decency not to comment on it.
Plucking the ring from the box, he slides it onto Kieran’s ring finger. He brushes his lips over it and coaxes Kieran to kneel down too.
Then he offers his own hand. “Your turn.”
Kieran’s indignation dissipates, and he returns the favor. He’s still shaking, and it takes him a few attempts to get the ring on. Ash smiles the whole time.
“You’ll marry me too, right?” Kieran checks.
“That’s usually how it works, yes.”
“Just making sure. One never knows with you.”
“Some things you do know.” Ash brings their foreheads together. “Some things never change.”
“True.” Kieran interlaces their fingers. “You’ll always be the most irritating man on the planet.”
“You’ll always be the brattiest.”
“Match made in hell, huh?”
“Probably. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Good. Me neither.”
They laugh, letting the serene moment stretch, just basking in it. Now everything is perfect.
“There’s, um, an engraving in your ring,” Kieran mentions after a while, feeling his ears warming up.
“How fitting. There’s one in yours too.”
They remove their respective rings, Kieran heart skipping a beat as he reads what’s on the inside.
MINE
“Shit. Talk about coincidence.” He laughs so he doesn’t cry.
The lack of any reaction from Ash makes him look up. Blood rushes between his legs at seeing Ash’s expression, dark with desire and possessiveness.
Uh-oh. I’m gonna be eaten alive.
He doesn’t resist when Ash cups the back of his neck and draws him into a needy kiss. “Mine.”
Kieran gives a jerky nod. “Yours.”
He leans in for more kisses, preparing for some naked action, but Ash stops him.
“You know there’s something we need to do now, right?”
“Make out?”
Ash chuckles. “There are two things we need to do.”
“Make sure Zeke isn’t going to cause any more disasters?”
“There are three things we need to do.”
“Okay, this could go on forever. What was the first thing?”
Ash slides his ring back on, and does the same for Kieran. “Tell the others we’re engaged.”
Well, duh, that’s kind of a giv—
Oh.
“Carrie too?”
The corners of Ash’s mouth turn up. “Carrie too.”
“Oh god.”
“Yup.”
“Oh god!”
“Yes?”
“She’ll want to do a double-wedding!”
Seeing the dawning horror on Ash’s face, Gabe’s engagement must’ve slipped his mind. “Shall we elope?”
“Oh, I like the sound of that.”
“Fiji?” Ash suggests.
“Not far enough.”
“Some tiny island in the middle of the Pacific?” Ash smirks. “Or we could just walk to the world’s edge and do it there.”
Kieran winces. He knew this would come back to bite him in the ass. “Am I ever gonna live that one down?”
“Unlikely, but hope springs eternal.”
Ash stands up first, pulling Kieran with him.
Kieran interlocks his fingers behind Ash’s neck. “That’s fine, I guess. I’ll marry you whether we’re on a pancake or a donut.”
“Right back at you.” He starts to lean in, but Kieran jolts back just before their lips meet.
“But we are on a donut. You know that, right?” He just needs to make sure.
Ash smiles.
Okay, Kieran’s officially nervous now. “Right?!”
Ash silences him with a kiss, not giving him a chance to protest. Or call off the engagement.
Not that it would be much use. Kieran could run, but Ash would catch him, follow him anywhere.
To the world’s edge, it would seem.
Jerk, Kieran thinks, and holds on.
He’ll never stop holding on.