Chapter 17
MILLIE
“Have you been in a kayak before?” Shade asks, running his palm along the curve of a blue one hung on a wooden rack by the water.
“No. I used to paddleboard sometimes, though.”
“You’ve got me there. I’d sink one of those.”
I give him a slow up-and-down look, cocking my head. “How’s your balance?”
“Shit.”
“Then, yeah, you’d probably sink it,” I agree.
“If it wasn’t supposed to snow this week, I’d come pop your kayaking cherry. But it’s too fucking cold now.”
His words are a reminder of how low the temperature has gotten in the week since I’ve been here. Even with my coat on, there’s a chill working its way into my bones. The wind scurrying over the top of the lake doesn’t help.
Shade presses his fingers into my lower back and guides us away from the beach.
We pass the small library that looks eerily similar to a two-storey birdhouse with a glass door on our way to the dock.
I’ve wanted to sit on the dock since the first day I spotted it.
There was a natural pull that I ignored at first.
I’m happy to be visiting it today.
“We used to compete over who could jump off the dock and hold their breath under the water the longest,” he says, walking closely beside me.
“Who is ‘we’?”
“Me, the Whittman twins, Rowe, Lacey. Pretty much all of us. Back then, it didn’t matter what grade you were in or who your family was, we all hung out together.
Especially in the summers. This place was all we had to entertain ourselves, so we made the most of it,” he explains, turning to look behind us.
“There used to be an ice cream shack between those trees there that would sell single scoops for fifty cents and a high five. I spent all of my chore money there for the four years it was running.”
The yearning that explodes in my chest makes it hard to speak. “What happened to it?”
“The owner passed away. Shelly tried to get it up and running on her own, but they couldn’t make it work without extra help.”
“And there wasn’t any,” I finish for him.
“Bingo. It’s the Oak Point special. But it’s your turn now. Tell me about something you enjoyed when you were a tiny princess.”
We reach the end of the dock, and I let loose a soft sigh before lowering myself onto the wood planks.
I hang my legs off the edge and stare down at the dark, clear water.
The weeds are low, well clipped to avoid reaching the surface.
I’d bet it looks colder than it really is, even with it being mountain water.
Looking up, I watch Shade as he stares out at the lake, his smile lazy and relaxed.
When he notices me watching him, he lowers his eyes and winks before joining me.
Sitting closer than he needs to on this wide dock, he hangs his legs beside mine and leans back on his hands.
I shove off a shiver when he adjusts his arms and strokes a finger along the lowest section of my back.
Thinking back to his question, I focus on finding an answer instead of the way I’m tempted to swing myself over onto his lap right here, right now. The last few days have wreaked havoc on my nervous system, and the only person I have to blame is myself.
After our kissing lesson, if you can even call it that, I haven’t been able to stop growing aroused anytime I think of Shade or so much as catch a glimpse of him.
It’s downright annoying now, and I’ve been so frustrated with my inability to make myself come that I’ve been taking it out on him.
It’s much easier to ignore the guy at work than it is to find the courage to demand we work on the next lesson I gave him.
Not to mention, he hasn’t even told me what he’d written on his list. It’s like he’s trying to make me explode.
“I didn’t have many friends like that growing up. The ones I did have were only around because our parents knew each other. But I did use to have fun when we’d go on the boat in the summer. I like wake surfing,” I say, fighting back the clog in my throat.
His brow is high when he looks at me. “You wake surf?”
“I’m starting to take offense to all of these questions.”
“I just can’t picture you doing it. It’s not that I don’t believe you.”
“Well, believe it. It was one of the only sporty activities my father would indulge me in growing up. Not that I wanted to play sports, but it was fun. Wearing a bikini while getting misted with water and a cool breeze on a hot day was better than tanning in silence.”
Shade shifts, leaning forward slightly. “You came here in the wrong season, Mills. I’d have loved to see you like that.”
“Mills?”
“Princess,” he corrects himself, smirking.
I ignore that. “I doubt you’d have noticed me if we’d stumbled upon each other on the lake.”
“Wanna bet?”
“In case you forgot, I’m dirt broke right now. I’ve got nothing to bet with, so I’ll pass this time.”
“Money is the most boring thing to bet with. Be creative,” he drawls.
Turning my head, I meet his waiting gaze. The cool temperature spikes at the intensity in his eyes. I swallow as quietly as possible, but he notices.
“My luck is terrible,” I say, my voice quiet.
“I’d usually say the same, but it’s hard to feel that way right now.”
Rolling my eyes, I mutter, “You’re a flirt.”
“A flirt who doesn’t lie. It’s fucking killing me picturing you in some tiny bikini, all damp and windswept. I’m trying really hard to be a good guy here, and I’ve got a feeling I’m going to fail pretty damn soon.”
My core tightens, growing warm. “Do you think it’s only you who feels like that?”
“Like what exactly, Millie? Because as much as I want to have another go at that list of yours right here, right now, I’m also real frustrated that you’ve been ignoring me for days.
I won’t be touching you again if that’s how it’s going to be afterward.
You’ve got a friend in me now, and for as long as you’re here, that’s what I want to continue being. ”
“I didn’t think you cared about that. You never mentioned it upsetting you,” I argue weakly, knowing that he’s right.
I have been all over the place recently.
Shade rolls his jaw, his eyes clouding. “What exactly were you looking for from me? You ran out of the studio like your ass was on fire after leaving your mark all over my throat and then came into work the next day with your eyes everywhere but on me. I can’t read your mind, Millie.
When you want something from me, you need to say it.
I’ve proven to do just about anything you ask, so this should have been no different. ”
“I don’t know how to do that,” I admit, growing tense. “What you’re telling me to do, I’ve never been able to with the people in my life. Not without being shamed for it or guilted for having real feelings. So, I’m sorry.”
It’s too hard to look at him, so I focus on the water in front of us. It ripples slightly but is otherwise unmoving. Stagnant. Boring. I almost laugh before looking to the trees lining the bank instead.
“To start, I want to help you get comfortable with touch,” Shade starts, drawing my attention so naturally it’s almost freaky.
His attempt at encouraging me to open up is appreciated, even if I keep my thanks tucked away.
“You should know every inch of your skin that makes you burn up inside and release those fucking noises you were making the other day. Then, you’ll start working on telling me what you want.
That’s an important one if you’re going to be with men who aren’t as attention detailed as I am. ”
The teasing tone helps make it less awkward for me, but I still flush, unable to help it.
There’s something incredibly embarrassing about being a grown woman and needing to be guided on all things intimate by a guy I’ve only met a week ago.
Even if his intentions aren’t to make me feel this way, I don’t think it’s possible not to.
“There’s that confidence again,” I reply loosely.
He chuffs a laugh, letting that light dig go.
“I need to hear that you’re still okay with going forward with this.
If you are, I’ll go back up to your cabin with you right fucking now, Millie.
But if you’re not, you need to tell me now so I can figure out what our dynamic is going to be for the rest of your time here. ”
“I’m okay with this. I never wasn’t.”
Fingers tap the underside of my chin before guiding my head to turn. I hold my breath when Shade’s brown eyes dig into mine from only a few inches away. He darts them back and forth from my left to right, searching for any hint that I’m lying to him.
His search comes up empty the way I knew it would.
“Let’s go, then.” He’s baiting me.
I force his touch to fall away when I push up from the dock and stand. Brushing off the back of my skirt, I palm my hips and stare down at him.
“Am I meeting you there later, or are you going to get up and come with me anytime soon?”
The quirk of his mouth incites a flurry of flutters in my stomach.
Yeah, it’s dangerous being around a man like Shade.
Not only because of how good-looking and smooth witted he is—although that doesn’t help—but because of the easy friendship he’s offered me.
It’s too easy to be around him, and regardless of what we’ve agreed to do together, I feel at peace around him.
Comfortable in a way I haven’t been before, not once.
Even if all we did was sit and talk like friends for the duration of my stay, I’d leave happy.
I offer him my hand and wait until he slaps his against it before giving him a tug. His body doesn’t move in the slightest, but I feel the strain in my arm from the pull.
“These muscles are concrete, baby. Don’t pull your arm out of its socket,” he teases while getting to his feet.
“I’ve never met anyone with concrete in their muscles. How interesting.”
“Luckily for you, I’m up to being groped if you want to really live up this once-in-a-lifetime experience.”
I laugh, belly warming with what I’ve come to expect whenever I’m with Shade. An arousal that’s bound to send me into a spiral when I can’t diffuse it properly.
“Does that usually work on the women you meet?” I ask in hopes of playing off my reaction.
He drops an arm to my shoulders and hauls me right up against him as we walk off the dock. The arms I have hanging at my sides feel so out of place as I debate moving the one slapping his thigh behind him instead. I clench my teeth when I hesitate, continuing my awkward slapping motion instead.
“I’m not sure. Tell me if it’s working on you, and I’ll think about keeping it in my arsenal,” he replies.
Without dropping a look down at me, he pulls his arm off my shoulder and grabs my hand instead. I hold my breath while he moves it behind him and confidently slides it into the back pocket of his jeans. Once his arm falls back onto my shoulder, I manage to speak.
“It isn’t working.”
We walk over a big tree root sticking up out of the ground, and Shade drops his mouth to my ear. “Liar.”
The heat from his breath makes me shiver, and the laugh he lets loose a beat later tells me that he felt it. I flex my fingers in his back pocket and try to ignore that I’m cupping his butt right now. Clamping my lips together, I keep my giggle inside and focus on getting to my cabin.
Then . . . I’m sure the way I’m touching him right now won’t feel so scandalous.
I can’t tell if that excites me or terrifies me.