Chapter 26
SHADE
There’s a low ache in my neck as I heave the second garbage bag of clothes into my arms and haul it out of the cabin. Lacey’s van is parked in front of the stairs, the sliding door open for us to continue filling it with all of Millie’s things.
There’s not too much in there yet, and it won’t be anywhere near full by the time we clear the cabin out. The only things Millie has here are clothes, shoes, makeup, and hair products. Still, there’s more than enough of each to worry me that I won’t have room for it all at my place.
She warned me.
I set the bag down beside the first and turn back to the cabin. Lacey’s stepping outside with a suitcase rolling behind her. Then, Millie appears, holding a small box.
“For someone who came here with nothing, you aren’t leaving the same way,” I muse.
Millie follows Lacey, glancing at me as she passes. “Some of us need more than a stick of deodorant and the same outfit to wear every day.”
“Hey, I use soap too.”
“I stand corrected,” she teases, her tone light tonight. Happy.
“Is that everything?” Lacey asks once she’s slid the suitcase inside the van. She takes the box from Millie and adds it.
Millie nods, palming her hips. “I just want to say bye to Shelly before I go. You guys can head out.”
“Alright. I’ll see you in a few, then,” Lacey says, rounding the van.
She slips into the driver’s seat and starts the engine. It rattles, showing its age as the dark smoke plumes from the tailpipe. I clear my throat, waiting until she’s pulled away to speak.
“I’ll wait here for you.”
Millie turns from the gravel drive. “You can go. I’m not going to crash on the short drive there.”
“That’s not why I’m going to stay, but thank you. I’ll add that to my list of concerns.”
“I don’t need you to watch over me, Shade,” she argues.
“Alright, but I want to anyway.”
And that’s the fucking truth right there. The reason behind the restlessness that’s been prowling beneath my skin these past few days. It’s why I asked her to stay with me at my place and why I’ve been doing everything in my fucking power to keep her from leaving town.
I’ve become attached.
She’s my friend, and I’ve started seeing her as someone I want to keep in my life instead of a visitor free to come and go as she pleases.
Pushing past my frustration with that revelation, I add roughly, “Go see Shelly, Millie. I’m waiting.”
“Alright. If you’re sure,” she mumbles, eyeing me curiously.
I scowl, immediately closing up. Instead of answering, I act like a downright asshole and pull out my phone, trying to busy myself with something other than her. Her shoes crunch in the gravel as she leaves, heading in the opposite direction of where I’m silently telling myself off.
Only once the sound of her footsteps has all but disappeared do I look in the direction of the office. It’s cold as shit today, and I know she’s wearing those goddamn high heels despite the rocks in the gravel. She’s a walking hazard, and it’s driving me insane.
Tipping my head back, I shove my phone back in my pocket and groan so loud I’m sure I scare the birds from the trees. I don’t give myself a chance to change my mind before heading after her, following the trail of sweet perfume.
She hasn’t made it that far yet. Not with the shoes on her feet. As talented as she is with walking in those death traps, there’s only so good you can be while dragging them through rocks and dirt.
The moment she hears me following, she looks over her shoulder, and her brow climbs up her forehead. I inhale and call for her.
“Hop on.”
“Hop on what?” she asks, starting to spin around.
Before she can, I’m dropping to my haunches in front of her and pulling her onto my back. Her shocked squeal is music to my ears. She grabs onto my shoulders, her hands clasping against my sternum. I shift my hands to her thighs and encourage her to wrap them around me.
“You could have driven,” I grunt.
“And waste the gas?”
“It’s a minute drive.”
“Did you follow me just to scold me?”
Tightening my jaw, I squeeze her thighs. “No.”
“So, it was to apologize, then?”
“Apologize?” I almost choke.
She hums boldly. “For getting so grumpy for no reason.”
“Grown men don’t get grumpy.”
“That’s a lie, and you know it. If I said or did something to bother you, I want you to tell me. Wasn’t it you who made a whole show of needing honesty?”
“You know, I don’t remember you being so goddamn sassy the night we met,” I grunt.
She grows quiet for a moment, and I almost blurt out an apology before she says, “I wasn’t myself that night.”
“And now you are?”
“Yes, I think so. Or at least more than I was then.”
Well, fuck.
Loosening my hold on her thighs, I stroke my thumbs across them and force up a rough “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
She leans her head against mine, her cheek to my ear. The office appears in front of us, and I slow my pace, hoping she doesn’t notice. The slight rub of her cheek to the side of my head has me debating turning us right back around.
“Shelly suggested we start a book club the other day,” she says suddenly.
My brain lags. “A book club? The two of you?”
“Yep! I think it would be fun. But I’m not sure if there are enough readers in town.”
“What type of book club?”
“Romance.”
I chuckle, readjusting her when she starts to slip. “Stupid question.”
“Don’t even try it, Shade.”
“Try what?” I ask innocently.
“I know you’re just itching to make a bad joke. Something about how I shouldn’t need sex lessons when I’ve got books, right?”
“Absolutely not.”
She shakes her head as much as she can without pulling it away from mine. “Right.”
“Watching a shit ton of porn doesn’t mean you’ll actually know how to do the things you saw, princess. I’m not thinking any of that shit right now. I promise.”
“Do you read?” she asks after a beat.
“Not at all. Last time I did was in high school, and I can’t say I took pleasure in it.”
Her clasped hands tighten against me. “So we can mark you off the list of people to ask to join the club, then.”
“That’s probably a smart idea.”
“Do you think we should do it?”
I pause at the edge of the cabin stairs.
The screen door is shut, but there’s a low hum of music inside, where I know Shelly’s singing along under her breath.
Lowering myself back to a crouch, I wait for Millie to slide off me before turning to face her.
She adjusts the knee of her tights, drawing my eyes to her legs.
With a swallow, I force them to meet hers. “I think you should do whatever the hell you want to do. If starting a book club will make you feel more at home here, then yeah, princess. I’ll put up goddamn posters for it around town if it helps.”
There’s a warmth in her eyes that closes my throat.
I watch as it spreads to her entire expression, brightening the edges of her soft smile.
It’s too fucking much, honestly. The raw openness she’s showing me right now.
Yet, I can’t look away. Can’t shut it down before the sight of her like this tucks itself into the achingly empty space in my chest.
Millie rolls her lips, but the twitch at the corner of them is anything but secretive. I stare at it with an intensity that I don’t care if she can feel at this moment. If she runs . . .
Her tiny hand reaches out and strokes my knuckles the same way she did that day in the laundry room. The only difference this time is that I do the same back. Then, I slip my fingers through hers. I squeeze them and then let go, nodding toward the cabin.
“Go say goodbye, Millie.”
“Right,” she whispers, hesitating. “Are you going to walk back with me or head off now?”
I almost laugh at how obvious the answer to that question is. “I’ll be right here when you’re done. Who else is going to carry you to the car?”
“I’ve gone twenty-six years without being carried around, you know.”
“Sounds like things have changed.”
In more ways than one. And shit, I don’t think I’m hating how different they already are.
“You can do whatever you want with this room, but I draw the line at putting up fancy-ass wallpaper.”
Millie sighs dramatically, tossing me a pleading look over her shoulder. “So I’ll need to return the pink one with the poodles and cupcakes I ordered?”
“Smartass.”
Lacey took off a few minutes ago after receiving a call to go to the shop, and I know Millie’s a bit disappointed in that. It’s why I already placed an order for pizza, making sure to cover the entire thing in pineapple instead of just half.
“The room is perfect the way it is,” she says, already reaching for the two bags of clothes we’ve dropped in here. “And I can use the entire closet?”
“I doubt I have enough hangers in there for all of your clothes, but yeah, go for it.”
She nods, attention snapping to the box on the dresser against the wall. Abandoning the bags of clothes, she scoops up the box and looks into the hallway.
“And the bathroom? Is there a certain shelf or drawer for me to use?”
“Wherever you can find room. Just try not to leave your tampons out. You know how much they terrify me,” I tease, stepping out of the room and toward the door opposite hers. “It’s small as fuck, though. I’m not sure how many things you’ll fit.”
Following close behind, Millie makes a noise of agreement. She moves past me and ducks into the bathroom, sweeping her eyes over it. Then, she sets the box on the counter and starts to pull things out.
Moisturizer, under-eye serum, dry shampoo, and leave-in conditioner are all names I read on the first few bottles she unpacks. For a woman who has only a single paycheque to her name, I wasn’t expecting this much. Then again, I’ve never asked how much money she brought with her.
Without hesitation, she starts opening drawers and the cupboard beneath the sink, examining the space.
I hold back a laugh and lean against the door frame, crossing my arms as I watch.
She slides the bigger bottles beneath the sink and organizes the smaller ones in the first drawer.
When she opens the second, she glances at me, curious.
“What? Did you think I just couldn’t grow facial hair at all?” I ask.
She cracks a smile. “I wasn’t expecting a literal blade. Most men use electric shavers or those stick ones.”
“A real blade gets a closer shave.”
She tightens her gaze, dragging it over my jaw and up to where a mustache would grow if I weren’t so diligent in shaving it off. I tilt my mouth in response to her staring, biting back a taunt.
“You’ll have to show me how you use it one day,” she says.
It’s too hard not to tease her. Not when I enjoy doing it so much.
“Curious? If you need help shaving, I could just lend you a hand instead.”
Her cheeks flush. “You’re not getting anywhere close to me with a blade like that.”
“Are you planning on using my lesson to shave the face of your future husband, then?” It comes out harsher than I mean it to.
I grind my teeth slightly, frustrated at myself. Curling my fingers into my biceps, I press my side harder into the door frame.
Millie watches my every move as if she’s categorizing them in her head. There’s got to be a spreadsheet up there by now with every one of her reactions linked to what causes them so she knows exactly where to push to get the one she wants out of me.
“I wasn’t thinking that exactly. But it’s not a bad idea,” she answers, lips pursing around the words like she’s trying not to smile as she says them. “For now, I’ll stick with just watching you.”
“Great,” I mutter, cock twitching in my jeans. “I’ll leave you to unpack.”
She tips her chin, her gaze still flickering with light. “Try not to imagine the poodle wallpaper on the kitchen walls while you’re out there.”
I almost laugh. Of all the things I’ll be imagining, it won’t be fucking poodles.