Chapter 39
MILLIE
Shade lifts my suitcase into the trunk of his car like it weighs nothing. It slides in quickly, and then he’s reaching for the smaller one, treating it carefully after having watched me fill it with expensive skincare and makeup.
I hover close to him, palming the side of the car. “This is your last chance to make me take my own car. You can’t decide three hours into the drive that you regret coming here to get me and dump me on the side of the road, you know?”
“I can’t?” he asks, straightening and shutting the trunk. “Damn.”
“I’m being serious! If I go back with you like this now, we may as well be husband and wife.”
“That was easy,” he rasps, dipping down to kiss me just once before smacking my ass. “Get in, princess. We’re going home now.”
I watch him round the hood with the confidence of a man who doesn’t have a single doubt in his head, and that’s more than enough for me.
“Millicent! If you leave right now, that’s it,” Mom calls, stomping down the driveway.
While I feel a small wiggle of fear in my stomach, I know it’ll go away eventually.
Today, I’m deciding what the rest of my life is going to look like.
I believe her when she says that this is it.
Unlike when I fled from the wedding, this is permanent.
I’m making a conscious choice to leave. There’s no running this time.
I’m going to do it with my head high, knowing that I’m doing what’s best for me.
Shifting, I face her. “I am leaving, Mom. We both know this place isn’t ever going to make me happy the way I deserve to be, even if you refuse to believe it.”
“You’re a Harrington,” she argues, stopping a few feet away from where I stand.
“That’s not a reason for me to stay.”
“There are obligations—”
I cut her off, frowning. “You’re not getting it.
I don’t care about the obligations that you’ve forced on me.
They’re not my weight to bear, and I’m choosing an alternative.
If you love me at all, you’ll accept that and let me go without giving me more reason to never consider coming back to visit. ”
“Being a Harrington isn’t a part-time position. You don’t get to throw it away and only come back when you feel like it.”
“Why does it have to be all or nothing?”
My question is followed by the slow roll of tires on pavement. Then, a door slamming shut. My entire body clenches at the heavy sound of footsteps approaching from behind me.
“What’s going on?” Dad doesn’t wait for me to reply before speaking again. “Millicent?”
“I’m leaving,” I answer firmly before twisting and meeting his hard gaze.
He looks to where Shade’s standing back on my side of the car, having moved without me noticing.
“You have the nerve to disrespect me by coming onto my property and taking my daughter?”
It’s embarrassing having your father scold your grown boyfriend like this. Almost as embarrassing as this has all been hurtful. Instead of one of my parents caring enough about me to try and understand where I’m coming from, they’re too stubborn.
Shade keeps his focus on my father, not backing down even as I try to will the ground to open up beneath me.
“I’m not taking her.”
“Like hell you aren’t!”
“I’m going on my own, Dad. And you can either accept that or refuse to. Either way, I’m going. It’s up to you whether this is the end of our relationship or if we can speak again someday.”
That finally gets a reaction out of him that isn’t lined with rage. “Someday?”
“I don’t think any of us are going to be making amends in the near future.”
“You’re offering us an ultimatum,” he barks, but there’s something in the way he does it that gives him away.
The smallest tinge of fear.
“There’s no ultimatum. I’m just offering the potential to speak again once things have settled down. Trying right now isn’t going to do any good. You refuse to see my side of things,” I say.
Mom scoffs coldly. “You’re making a mistake. This is the move of a teenager who doesn’t know better.”
“I do know better, though,” I murmur, glancing beside me. Shade’s already looking at me, his hands twitching at his sides. “It’s where I’m going.”
There’s no need to wait for more arguments. I watch Shade open the door for me and go to him without looking back. He keeps dark eyes on my face as I move, and I smile, reassuring him that I’m okay.
Once I’m in the car, he shuts the door and stands outside for a moment.
His body is facing my parents, and in the side mirror, I catch the loosening of my father’s features following the low rumble of his voice.
The tight line of Dad’s mouth parts as he speaks, the words too quiet for me to hear inside the car.
They don’t speak further. At least, not from what I can tell when Shade pulls open the driver’s door and slides into the car beside me. I sigh at the relief of having him beside me again and snag his hand before he so much as has the chance to turn the ignition.
He flips it and slides his fingers between mine, clasping them tight. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
Snow falls in thick flakes as Shade grips my bag and ushers me into the motel.
My heels slip on the ice, and I flail around, leaning into him for balance. He grunts when my elbow digs into his ribs, stopping the both of us.
“I’m buying you winter boots,” he declares.
I scrunch my nose, ready to complain before he’s suddenly tossing my bag over his shoulder and crouching beside me. In one smooth motion, he tucks a single arm beneath my legs and sweeps me off the ground. My feet swing in the air, and I curl my toes in my heels to keep them from flying off.
Curling an arm around his neck, I stare up at him and groan dramatically. “Really?”
“Really what?”
“You make it utterly impossible not to want to climb you all the freaking time.”
His laugh is rough and deep as he pulls open the lobby door and stalks right past the front desk, already having checked us in. He eyes the sign with a section of room numbers that’s hung on the wall for a second before turning right, his hold on me strong.
“I didn’t know that was a bad thing,” he says.
“Oh, you didn’t? God, you know exactly how hot you are and love to use it to your advantage.”
“Don’t pout, princess.”
“I’m not pouting.”
In reality, I’m so turned on it’s criminal.
For the entire six-hour drive here, he kept his hand on my thigh, massaging and stroking it in a way that didn’t look overly sexual but still had that effect.
I know better than to think for even a second that he didn’t plan on that either.
Shade knows my body too well, and he knew exactly what that would do to me.
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m going to make you sleep in the snow,” I threaten weakly.
“Nah, you’re not.”
I look away from him long enough to check what room we’re in when he stops. “You don’t know that.”
“I know everything about you, Millicent,” he purrs, setting me down on my feet.
My jaw slacks slightly as she uses my full name. It’s the first time he’s ever said it, and while I don’t hate the way it sounds coming from him, it’s not right. Not me anymore, if it ever was.
He keeps his eyes on me as he uses the room key to unlock the door and then pushes it open. Each backward step he takes draws me to follow him, matching his pace.
“I’m not Millicent when I’m with you,” I say, breathless.
Shade’s exhale saw out of him as he reaches for me, taking hold of my waist. He pulls me toward him, and the door swings shut, sealing us in the room. My bag falls from his shoulder before he picks me up again, this time so I’m straddling his middle and our mouths hover an inch apart.
I don’t look where we’re going when he moves through the room. The only thing I want to see is him.
“My Millie girl,” he says, voice low and tight. “Need you to teach me something for a change.”
I fist the hair at the back of his head, craning it back so I can bring my lips to his neck, inhaling as I kiss the warm skin. He shudders against me, the hardness of his body pressing so firmly against me that we may as well be moulding into one person.
“What lesson?” I whisper.
Shade grips my ass, using the new hold to keep me in place when he lowers us to the bed. I pull back just enough to meet his gaze. It’s blazing, his need on display for me to see while he presses between my legs, letting me feel it, too.
“I don’t want to fuck you tonight.”
My throat closes up, my eyes flicking between his in search of a reason why. “Did I do something wrong?”
He dips his head, kissing me softly, his lips barely ghosting across mine. I loosen my hold on his hair, stroking fingers through it instead as I wait for him to speak.
“I’ve never made love before, Millie. Not once.”
My lungs constrict. Words fail me. All I can do is tighten my legs around his waist, keeping him against me in case he tries to run away.
“Me neither,” I admit softly.
“No, but you know how. You know what it should feel like and how to get there. I want you to show me so I can give you that.”
“Shade . . .” I bring his face closer, kissing him now, making sure it’s more than just a brush of lips.
“Don’t argue. I trust you. Just tell me what to do.”
This side of him is new. It’s raw and vulnerable in a way I knew he could be but wasn’t expecting to see tonight.
With a gentle touch, I stroke up his side and shift beneath him. Our middles brush, and my breath disappears at the spark of pleasure that follows.
“We need to move further up the bed,” I croak.
He doesn’t reply before moving us. With a steady arm beneath my body, he pulls me up until my head sinks into the pillow, hovering above me.
“Clothes.” I pinch the fabric of his shirt and let my legs fall to the bed.
Backing up, he reaches for my shoes, slipping them off one by one. I watch him carefully set them on the floor before bringing his hands back to my feet and drawing a firm line up each arch with his thumbs. The sound that escapes me is rough, a mix between a whine and a moan.