Chapter 3
Emalyn- present day
“Are you coming for Alicia’s Quincea?era?” My moms asks pointedly.
“It’s been a very busy season with work. I’m not sure if I can make it.” I say even as guilt gnaws inside. Sure it’s not so busy that I couldn’t take a weekend off if you factor in that I’m a photographer that makes her own schedule for the most part.
It’s going back home that’s the problem.
I haven’t been in years.
When you put an issue off for too long, it starts to feel too big to tackle. I’ve let the guilt and dread fester for too long.
“Yes, it seems you’ve been busy a lot the last six years.”
“Mom, I—“
“I have to go.” She ends the call abruptly, not even telling me she loves me this time.
I rub my temples for a moment. I reapply my lipliner in the reflection of my phone before tucking both into my bag and exiting the spare dressing room.
Alli is what’s important today. My best friend just got engaged.
I reenter the large room where the girls are sipping champagne and dishing out advice and opinions left and right.
“I don’t know… You’re gorgeous, but I don’t think that shape is showing you off like the first one did.” Dakota says, tilting her head.
Allison stands on the podium, surrounded by mirrors. The puffy white gown nearly swallows her up. Her face crumples as she buries it in her hands. Presley, her soon-to-be sister-in-law, helps her down and pats her eyes dry.
“S-sorry, you guys.” She fans her face a bit as we all crowd her. “I’m so excited to marry Tate. Really— I am. These are happy tears.”
“It’s okay, Alli.” I coo, passing her a drink. When Alli finally divorced her cheating ex husband, I threw her a literal party. He was such a scumbag. Then Heaven opened up and dropped her a hockey playing cowboy. I love how he spoils my friend.
“Wedding planning is stressful. Honestly, I hope I don’t ever have to do this. I’m gonna hire someone to plan the whole thing for me, down to the dress.” Presley says and nudges Alli’s arm playfully.
“What about you, Dakota? Ever think of what your wedding will be like?” I ask, intentionally including her. She blushes. The poor girl is painfully shy. I have no idea how she deals with the hockey players coming in and out of the medical room all day.
“Me? Oh, I don’t think I’ll get married.” She shakes her head and tucks a strand behind her ear, “At least, not anytime soon.”
“You’ll find the right guy, Dakota. Trust me.
It’ll happen when you aren’t looking for it.
” Alli says, giving her shoulder a squeeze.
Alli then takes the tissue and blows her nose with it.
Loudly. She looks bashful as she neatly drops it into the waste basket near the window.
“Sorry about that. It’s the shots— I’m basically a walking mood swing now. ”
A dull wave of pain swoops in my belly. An old ache. It’s hard to hear that Allison’s “infertility” was never really hers. Now, it’s all cured.
It won’t be so easy for me. There’s no one hiding behind a curtain, pulling the strings. Unfortunately. I’m beyond repair.
Bilateral tubal blockage the doctor called it.
My eyes drop to the floor as the girls start to discuss Alli and Tate’s hope to grow their family.
“I think it’s every foster kid’s dream to have a big family of their own. Give them the happy home you never had, you know?” Alli shrugs, looking at her belly in the mirror. “Now with two boys, I’ll be happy with however many we have. Even if that means we don’t have more.”
My thumb traces circles on my wrist as I take a step back. Why do they keep the damn dress shop so hot?
Every foster kid's dream. Probably Ronan’s dream too.
I glance around looking for water as my heart starts to race.
Where is that employee? She was just sticking her head in here every five seconds and now that I need her she’s nowhere to be found.
A dream I could never give him, because it was taken from me before I was old enough to know how much it mattered to me. Before I missed it.
My throat starts to feel tight. Darkness begins to tunnel my vision.
I inhale shakily.
Five things you can see…
Dakota’s golden locket ring.
Presley fussing over the trail of Alli’s dress.
The white daisies in the windowsill of the dress shop.
The sun reflecting brightly off that car’s windshield.
The—
I freeze. In the reflection of the window, piercing blue eyes lock onto mine. Blonde hair catches in the light.
He’s moving toward me before I fully register it. Ronan.
The bell above the door dings as he pushes the door open. His hand goes to my wrist, pulling me to him gently. The firm weight of his arm around my shoulders has my breath evening out as the other hand draws soft circles on my wrist.
“There you go, Sunshine.” He says softly. Just as I’m becoming acutely aware of our surroundings, Alli turns from the group, noticing Ronan's arrival. He drops my wrist but keeps his arm around me.
“Ronan! What are you doing here?” She grins. Though they aren’t blood related, after just six months in a foster home together, she practically adopted him.
“Oh, you know. Just dropped in to make sure you didn’t choose something like that.” He gestures to the current wedding dress she has on.
Alli snorts.
“I know, I know.” She rolls her eyes. “ They told me.”
Ronan steps forward to hug her, the movement making his arm leave my shoulders. A chill rolls through my body at the loss of his warmth.
“I can’t believe I don’t get to be the Man of Honor. It’s honestly rude.” Ronan says. Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes.
“Quit gunning for my spot!” I say pointing a finger at him. I instantly regret it. He sends me a smirk over his shoulder.
“Wanna try some of these while we are here? Still time to make it a double ceremony.” He winks. Alli swats his shoulder.
“Stop hitting on Emalyn. This is a girls' only day.” Presley shoots from her spot next to Dakota on the couch. Sure, Ronan is a flirt, but he isn’t serious. He doesn’t actually see me that way… not anymore, at least.
“Fine, fine. I just left a meeting and was heading to Sandy’s Happy Donuts a few doors down.
Saw you guys through the window.” He tucks his hands into the pockets of his suit pants.
I take him in fully for the first time since he got here.
His white button up is unbuttoned at the top underneath his black suit jacket.
It’s his nice suit. Hm. I wonder what kind of meeting. “You girls hungry? Donuts on me.”
Right on cue, Alli’s stomach growls. She tears up again. Ronan looks taken aback as she starts to sniffle.
“What? I just thought the shopping would make you hungry. I’m sorry!” He rubs his hands up and down her shoulders. Her crying intensifies. Ronan glances between Dakota, Presley and me, looking for help. I just shrug.
“That’s so-so sweet.” She blows her nose noisily into a tissue.
Ronan just pats her back gently and steps away. He leans towards me, talking quietly out of the side of his mouth, “What the hell?”
“I’ll just change so we can go!” Alli calls through muffled sobs and rushes into the changing room.
“Ugh, donuts sound so good. Poor Alli. She’s having a hard time finding a dress.” Presley says, glancing down at her nails, “Any chance you know any fancy designers through your fashion photo shoots, Emalyn?”
Hmm. She has a good point.
“I’ll reach out to some people. I’m sure someone would be willing to help.” I nod. A text on my phone draws my attention.
Kade:
Coming over tonight?
I feel Ronan’s breath tickle my neck as he tries to read over my shoulder. Nosy as always.
I ignore him as I respond.
Me:
Can’t. Rain Check?
Kade:
Ok. Maybe we can catch a movie or something this weekend then?
Me:
Maybe.
I feel bad cancelling on him again. Kade was a lighting exec I met on set. He’s been… sweet, if not a little boring. After three months of casual dating, it feels like this thing between us has run its course. Not that I want to have that sort of talk with him today. Not after my near panic attack.
I just want to go home.
“You coming?” Alli’s soft voice calls.
I glance up, only just realizing the girls are all standing by the door looking at me. Waiting for me. Ronan gives me a soft smile, blue eyes filled with understanding.
“Yeah, sorry.” I shake my head, letting that bubbly persona slide back to the front. A grin slides across my face as I bounce to the exit.
For a moment, I swear I see a flash of something cross Ronan’s features. It’s gone before I could guess what it was.
He acts like a bodyguard, his large frame parting the crowd of the busy sidewalk. We just follow closely behind him.
When Ronan holds the door open to the trendy looking donut shop, the sweet smell assaults my nose in the best way. I inhale deeply, eyes falling closed as I step in.
Sandy’s Happy Donuts is the place a lot of influencers come to take pictures in front of their trendy photo ops and pretend to eat the ‘big as your face’ donut.
“Hey… Emalyn.” A deep voice says tentatively as we step up to the counter. A voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. My stomach drops. My eyes snap up to the counter to see Jayce Miller.
“Hey, Jayce!” My voice goes up an octave higher than usual. I chanced a glance over my shoulder to Ronan. Maybe we should go somewhere else.
He steps forward and claps his hands with Jayce’s in that bro hug way that men do when they pat each other on the back.
Since when are they friends?
Last time I saw Jayce was after he was hauled away in cuffs after their fight. If you could even call it that. I guess everyone grows up. I’m glad to see that stuff is in the past. Then again, look where Ronan is in his life now.
Not that Sandy’s is a bad place for Jayce to work considering they’re one of the few big name companies that pay their employees a livable wage.
I just shot for their recent campaign and instead of models, they paid their real employees to be featured. It was one of my favorite projects to date.
“I’ll take a chocolate donut with sprinkles and chocolate milk,” Ronan says before shooting me a wink and adding, “And one ham and cheese croissant with a chamomile tea.”
“I don’t think they’ll have—“
“We do.” Jayce cuts in. His eyes flick between Ronan and I.
Huh. Another thing I love about this place. Ronan insists on paying for everyone so I drop money in the donation jar. They don’t need to collect tips here since they are paid well. Instead the money goes to their scholarship foundation.
I collect my tea off the counter and move to the side so everyone else can order.
“One big as your face donut, please.” Presley says confidently and gestures to Dakota, “Make that two.”
Ronan slings an arm across the back of my chair and clinks his chocolate milk against my tea.
“Cheers.”