Chapter 25
Ronan
The pressure behind my eyes has me groaning and digging my face further into my soft pillow.
It smells good. Like Emalyn. Blindly feeling around, I reach for the pills that I could've sworn Emalyn put on the night stand for me. It’s so dark in here, my hand just smacks random things off.
What sounds like a water bottle and the rattle of pills.
A thud that could be my phone. I really don’t want to sit up to get them.
I sigh dramatically and set my forehead against my pillow again. It’s not until my hands tuck underneath it that I realize it’s not my pillow.
Carefully, I nudge my mask up. Just enough for a peek.
I bite my lip to hold back my groan. My pillow was in fact, Emmy’s chest. I shove my face back down and go back to sleep. Or pretend to. The throbbing won’t let me fully enjoy this moment.
Emalyn chuckles softly, threading her fingers through my hair and massaging my scalp with both hands. It is simultaneously painful and amazing.
“Agggggh. Feels so good.” I murmur, feeling sleep trying to take me again. Her hand leaves my head as she reaches.
“Noooo.” I groan my head chasing her hand. Somehow she manages to grab both the water and pills without letting me slide off her completely. She’s so soft under me, I turn my face into her neck and inhale deeply.
She always smells so good.
“Open.” She whispers, tapping my jaw lightly. I hold my head up enough to accept the medicine. A straw pokes my lip and I take a generous sip.
“Thanks.”
“Of course. I’m gonna make us some breakfast and I’ll bring it in here for you.
” She says in a hushed voice, making a move to get up.
My arm wraps tighter around her and I nearly growl like a rottweiler with a steak.
It may seem over the top but this is my snuggle time, dammit. I’m not giving it up.
With a giggle, she relaxes back against the pillow and resumes petting my hair.
“Fine. Twenty more minutes, then eat.”
With a noncommittal noise, I’m drifting off again.
Kisses on my neck and face wake me.
“Oh my goodness. She really likes him.” A quiet voice says.
“Maybe a little too much.” Someone else responds.
“I know, I feel like we shouldn’t just stand here watching. Should we stop her?”
I force my eyes open despite wanting to curl back up and sleep until the end of time. Couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m too damn nosy.
Poppy curls up under my chin and nuzzles her nose into my neck. Tate, Ryan, Ripley and Fitz stand around watching the dog lick my face.
“Morning, sleepyhead.” Ripley mutters before pulling something from behind his back. “I snuck you some poptarts. S’mores flavored. Your favorite.”
“Thanks.” I murmur, glancing around the dark room slowly.
“Emalyn’s picking up lunch for everyone.” Tate whispers before picking a chair up and setting it next to the bed. “We just wanted to stop by and check on you.”
“It was my idea.” Ryan says smugly.
“Was not.” Fitz smacks his chest. “So, what’s the plan?”
The guys groan.
“Have a little tact.” Ripley grumbles and scrubs a hand through his hair. I glance between them the movement making my eyes feel like they have a hundred little knives behind them. Ripley’s still grumbling.“This was the worst idea. I told you we shouldn’t ambush him.”
“One at a time. My head feels like it’s been through a wood chipper.” I groan. They’re all whispering yet somehow it sounds like yelling.
“I know. I know.” Tate waves his hands to calm everyone down. “Listen, Ronan. We just thought… you know. That even though you got hurt— which sucks by the way— something good could still come out of it.”
“Something… good?” I frown. I have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. I probably just got benched for the Stanley Cup finals for goodness sake. In game one.
“You have two full days alone with the girl you’ve been in love with for years.” Fitz deadpans, as if I didn’t already know this.
“Yeah, I know.” I squint at him. “You do know I’ve had plenty of time alone with Emalyn before, right? All the time, man.”
“But this time, she’s playing hot nurse for you. Time to spill your guts and go for it.” Ryan shrugs, earning himself a smack on the back of the head again.
“Stop doing that!” He whisper yells at Tate.
“Stop deserving it.”
“How’s the backup goalie doing?” I ask, taking the subject away from matchmaking.
“His best.” Ripley says, tilting his side to side.
Which is to say, he sucks and is going to burn out before we can win.
Fuck. This is the worst time to get a concussion.
It would’ve been better for this to happen during the season where I could take time to recover and get back out there in time for the finals.
My eyes close on a sigh, suddenly feeling heavy.
“We’re crowding him. Why don’t you guys step out and we’ll take turns.” Ripley suggests. I shoot him a grateful look.
“Why do you get to go first?” Ryan scowls, immediately wanting to argue. I just reach up to pet Poppy on the head while they bicker.
“So you can be the first to get food.” Ripley rolls his eyes as that’s all it takes for Ryan and Fitz to shove past each other as they exit the room. They shut the door a little too hard causing my head to split in pain.
I wince.
They sober instantly.
“You know… Alli sometimes talks about her past. Not all the time but when she does you come up a lot.” Tate says, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “You two have always been there for each other. She’s always been your family. You’re my family now too, Ronan.”
“Not yet. She could still leave your Paul Bunyan looking ass.” I mutter. I like Tate for my sister, I'm just being an ass because I don’t like the direction this conversation is going.
“Yeah, yeah. Point is, I’m here for you.” Tate doesn’t get offended by my jab. He never does. He’s just calm and collected all the time, like those police horses. Not even scared of gunshots.
“Me too, Ronan. I told you about what Rosie and I have been going through and you didn’t bat an eye.” Ripley adds.
“You guys are laying it on a little thick, don’t you think?” I snort, trying to ease the tension. Redirect with humor. Normal deflection stuff. My therapist has tried to work with me on this but I still default to my protective habits.
“Yeah. We are.” Tate agrees easily, “But it’s only because it’s important you hear this. Despite what your mind tells you, you aren’t hard to love. Never were. And you didn’t deserve what you went through.”
My eyes snap to him. Plain to see, he means that shit.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t fucking cry.
“If you let yourself be vulnerable and genuine with her, instead of this surface level flirting, she’d jump to give you a real chance.” Ripley adds, setting aside his recent ‘I hate love and feelings’ attitude. “Don’t blow the chance just because you’re too scared to grab ahold of something real.”
Before I can open my mouth to speak, there’s the softest knock on the door before Emalyn pokes her head in. Her curls are in a wild knot on top of her head. The softest lift of her eyebrow appears as she glances between us.
“I’ve got lunch, if you’re hungry.” She keeps her voice soft and quiet as she speaks to Tate and Ripley. She opens the door with her shoulder as she carries a tray of food to the bed.
Tate shoots me a wink as he stands.
“No ma’am. We were just going to let this guy get some rest.” Tate says, nudging Ripley out of the room ahead of him.
“Okay, well, take some of the food, at least!” She calls quietly to their retreating backs.
“Don’t worry, we aren’t leaving. We’re here to help you make him behave. Not due back to the arena just yet, anyway.” Ripley replies before closing the door.
Emalyn turns to me, a soft smile forming on her lips. It’s so natural. So domestic.
“Do you want me to help you sit up?” She asks. The idea of sitting up or moving from my comfy puppy snuggles makes me want to die. Emalyn giggles at whatever face I make before nodding and placing the tray on the bedside table. “Fair enough.”
Her movements are intentional and graceful, even, as she grabs some food, feeding me. I watch as she tries to pretend that she isn’t nervous, despite her shaking hand giving her away.
Does she think I forgot my mother bursting in, seeming to have been rather comfortable with Emalyn? How long have they been talking? Did she invite them to the game?
And the one that’s been nagging me the most… was my little brother there? Did James see me go down?
That must’ve been a terrifying sight for someone so young. Where was he when Mom poked her head in to check on me?
I try to ignore the heat in my cheeks as shame creates a stone in my stomach. I was hateful to her. Even if she did abandon me… I’ve never treated anyone that way. Cold— the way I remember my father being.
Well, not anyone who didn’t deserve it. She surrendered me to the state on my birthday, if there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s her. Right?
I accept another bite.
Sure, I can feed myself. Still tastes better when she does it.
“Soo…” Emalyn drags out the word as her fingers tear a piece off the roll, not looking at me. She worries her bottom lip.
“Are you ready to tell me about how it is you know my mother?”