Chapter 11
eleven
QUINN
That’s the first thing my mother says to me in almost ten years, “ Hey, Bean ”?
The last time I saw her was the morning of an art exhibit I had a couple of months before I graduated high school. Caleb even came home from med school so he could be there with Dad and Max. I expected to see her with them that evening, but she never showed up, and no one knew where she was.
There was a lot of baggage when it came to my mother. For most of my childhood, she hadn’t been someone I could rely on. She’d never actually left town, but there would be periods where she didn’t come home. I know Dad regrets not separating from her sooner, but I think he hoped that encouraging her to stay would make her want to be in our lives.
Dad finally hit his breaking point when I was fifteen. Mom had kept one too many secrets at that point, and the little ounce of trust he still had in her disappeared entirely. He’d initially told her she had to leave and she wasn’t welcome in the house anymore, but she swore up and down she would change, that him kicking her out was the wake-up call she needed. She claimed she was desperate to stay in mine and Caleb’s lives. She said something right because while they officially separated, Dad allowed her to stay in the guest cottage at the back of the property.
After that, things were better. Mom still missed important events, but she wasn’t out partying, and she was home every night.
It was strange for her to miss something when I’d just spoken to her about it hours before. It wasn’t until we all got home and saw all her stuff was gone we realized she had left. We didn’t know at the time it was for good, but Dad still started the process of legally declaring she abandoned Max. He had given her another chance, and she blew it. For him, she didn’t have any more chances, and he wanted to make sure Max was always taken care of, without concern for my mother’s whims.
“No, you don’t get to call me that anymore. You lost that right when you walked out on us.” I reach out and pull her into the house. Caleb will be home with Max at any minute, and while I want to make her leave, I don’t want either of them to see her.
“What are you doing here?” I demand quietly, not wanting my dad to make his way inside.
“It’s Max’s birthday. I wanted to be here for it.”
I take a moment to really look at her. I’m surprised she looks as good as she does. She’s thin, but she looks healthy. Her brown hair, the same color as mine, falls in waves past her shoulders. There are very few wrinkles in sight. Just those fine line crow’s feet at the corner of her blue eyes. Her skin is practically glowing.
I don’t know what I had really been expecting, but I guess I hoped she would look a little troubled or worse for wear. Like leaving her kids hadn’t been an easy choice.
“Why this one? You’ve missed the last ten.”
“Does a mother need a reason to want to be here for her child’s birthday?” She moves as if to walk around me.
I step in her path to block her. “When you left without a word and have been gone as long as you have? Yes, you need a reason.”
Through the back door, we hear voices rising in excitement. Caleb must have arrived back with Max and his group.
“Is he having a party?” she asks, trying to move around me again.
“It’s not your concern. You should leave.” I grab her arm, pulling her back toward the front door. Now that Max is here, I don’t want her in this house. I want her gone.
“Now, wait a minute. I can see him if I want.” Her voice rises, and I pull harder. I’d be surprised if she doesn’t end up with a bruise on her arm from how I’m squeezing it. I want to be sorry for it, but I can’t find it in me.
I turn to her so fast we are chest to chest. I lower my voice, making sure there is no question of my feelings. “Not today. If you want to call so we can find a time to talk about it, fine, but you will not ruin this day for him.” I finally get us both outside and onto the front porch.
“Quinn, I’m his mother. You have no right to stop me from seeing him,” she shouts.
“No.” I turn to see Dad leaning on his crutches in the doorway. I’ve never heard him take that tone of voice before. Normally, when Dad is angry, he shouts. Now, his voice is so low and flat, showing no emotion.
I think we’re all stunned silent, because no one talks for a minute. It’s not until I see movement out of the corner of my eye that I move. I turn and catch Declan’s eye. He must see something on my face because he directs the kids to the backyard but makes his way to stand at the bottom of the stairs. “Is everything okay here?”
Hearing Declan’s voice breaks my father out of whatever trance he’s in. “You are not welcome here.” My father moves forward on his crutches, his voice still in that low, flat tone. “You have absolutely no right to see anyone in this house.”
“You have no right keeping me from him.” My mother stands firm, not moving a muscle.
“I have every right.” His voice rises and cracks, taking on more emotion than he had a moment ago.
I see movement in the house behind Dad and catch Caleb and Max coming toward the open front door. I move to block them from coming out, but I’m not fast enough. I know from the look on Max’s face he hears the words that come out of my mother’s mouth next.
“He’s not even your son.”
“What?” Max freezes, but Dad doesn’t even hesitate before his next words are out of his mouth aimed at my mother.
“That boy is my son in every way except blood. I was there the day he was born. I have been there every day since, and I will be there until I take my last breath. There is nothing you can do or say to change that. Now, you will leave this house, or I will call the cops and have you arrested.” Without another glance in my mother’s direction, Dad turns toward the front door and goes to Max.
I don’t wait to see what happens with them. I rush forward to close the front door so my mother can’t see or hear anything else. I give myself a moment before I turn around to face her. Declan has made his way up the stairs. I can tell from his stance he is ready to do whatever is needed.
“You need to leave. You’ve done enough damage to last a lifetime.” I move toward her, grabbing her arm again and dragging her down the stairs. “You’re not welcome here, not anymore.” I stop halfway through the yard, crossing my arms, watching her.
She goes to move toward me, but something over my shoulder causes her to think twice. She leaves me with one more parting shot. “This isn’t over. I know your father is dying, and I will get my son back.”
I don’t respond, and she finally turns to leave.
I’m still standing there, even after she’s gotten in her car and disappeared down the street when I feel Declan’s warmth at my back. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, bring my arms around my waist, and squeeze for a few seconds before blowing it all out and turning slowly toward Declan.
My crossed arms brush his chest as I turn. I’m not even facing him fully before the dam breaks, and tears pour down my face.
“I’ve got you,” Declan says quietly, catching me before I fall. “I’ve got you,” he repeats.
And even though I have only known Declan for twelve days, I believe him.