Chapter 23
twenty-three
DECLAN
I walk into The Diner a little later than normal Thursday night, but I find Quinn immediately. She’s sitting at the same booth she’s always in, with her laptop open in front of her, completely focused on whatever she’s working on.
We haven’t been able to find time for just the two of us since Monday morning, and I have been craving it, almost desperate for it. Being in The Diner will likely have us under a microscope, especially after the harvest festival, but I don’t care. It will be good to just sit with her, with no rush for us to get back to something else.
I need this. I need time with her. I pushed for us to be more, knowing she might not be staying, knowing I’m already falling for her.
I can’t give up more of myself, not after everything I went through with Melissa. But these feelings I have for Quinn are so much more than I’ve ever felt before. We understand each other on a level I never thought possible, and I’m not willing to give that up. Not yet. Not while I can be with her, not while I feel this level of happiness, even if it is only for a little while. She’s slowly causing my closed-off heart to open, at least for her.
I take a moment to study her. Her hair is thrown up in a messy knot on her head like she needed to get it out of her face so she could focus. I can’t help but smile at the look of concentration as I make my way over to her.
I slide into the booth across from her. “Hey. Did you already order?” She jumps, and I laugh. “Sorry.”
“No, I was waiting for you. Give me a second to do one more thing, and then I’ll put my computer away.” Her eyes go right back to the screen, not even waiting for me to respond.
I smile and watch her while she finishes up. She takes longer than a second, but I don’t mind.
“Hey, Declan, can I get you anything?” Rose asks, approaching the side of our table.
“I’ll take a water for now.” She gives me a quick nod and moves away. My gaze shifts back to Quinn.
“Sorry.” She shuts her laptop a few minutes later. “I didn’t want to forget what I was doing.” She puts her computer away and looks at me, a large smile growing on her face. I love that I cause her to smile like that. “Hey,” she says quietly.
“Hey.” I smile back. “Excited about what you’re working on?” I ask, placing my hand on the table, palm up.
She puts her hand in mine, and her smile grows even more. “Yeah. I got some amazing pictures at the festival, and I’m having so much fun playing around with them.”
“Good.” I look down at our hands. I turn her hand over in mine and begin drawing imaginary shapes on her palm.
“Everything okay with Ava?”
“Not really, but there’s no change either.” I shrug, still focusing on her hand in mine. “I’m trying to give her some space and let her figure it out. She’ll come to me when she’s ready.”
“You’re a good big brother.”
I give her a small smile. “I try.”
“Hon, there’s a reason she wants to stay here, close to you. No matter what’s going on with her, she chose you as the person she wants to lean on. It might take her some time to tell you what happened, but that doesn’t say anything about you not being a good big brother.”
“Hon?” I ask, avoiding the subject of my sister. I hear what Quinn is saying, and she makes a good point, but I still wish I knew what was going on with Ava. I want to fix it for her, even if she’s more than capable of doing so herself.
She takes the topic change and rolls with it. “What? You’re the only one allowed to give out nicknames?”
“I thought you would pick something to match ‘Bug’.”
“I’m hoping you’ll change it if I call you sweet names instead.”
A laugh bursts out of me, causing a few people sitting at neighboring tables to look at us. “Not likely, Bug.”
She glares at me, but I can see the gleam in her eye, showing me she’s not upset. I hadn’t planned on the nickname sticking, but the more I use it, the more I like it.
“Oh, you two are so cute,” Rose says as she returns to our table, setting my water down in front of me. “I love seeing young love.” She sighs, continuing before either of us can respond. “What can I get you both?”
Quinn is still stunned by Rose’s comment, so I squeeze her hand still held in mine, and order for both of us. “Can we get our normal?”
“You got it. It’ll be out shortly.” And she’s off again like she didn’t say anything about love.
“You good over there?” I ask, refusing to let go of her hand.
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
I laugh softly and pull her hand toward me, causing her to lift her butt out of her seat to meet me halfway over the table, where I give her a quick kiss. “No worrying about what anyone else thinks. This is just for us,” I tell her, keeping her close.
“You’re right.” She presses another kiss to my lips before sitting back in her seat.
“I kind of love this routine we have of meeting for dinner every Thursday,” Quinn says as we walk out of The Diner.
“I kind of love it too,” I copy her words, taking her hand in mine.
I don’t know if I was ever a fan of holding hands when I was in a relationship before, but holding Quinn’s hand brings me more joy than I thought it would. The easy way Quinn and I were tonight has me realizing just how wrong Melissa and I had been together.
This effortlessness I feel with Quinn is what a relationship should feel like. I know we’ll fight with each other, and it will take work to make this last, but there should be days where it’s just as easy as tonight was. I can’t remember having a day with Melissa where I felt as peaceful as I do now.
“Where’d you park?” I ask, looking up and down the street for her car.
“I walked.”
“Quinn, it’s freezing out here.”
“Well, it wasn’t this cold when I left the house earlier, and I didn’t think about it.” She scrunches her nose, causing me to laugh.
I bend slightly to give her a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
“My knight in shining armor.” She pulls my hand holding hers over her shoulder, and tucks herself into my side as we walk down the street.
When we get to my truck, I open the passenger door for her, helping her in and buckling her seatbelt.
“You know I can do that, right?”
“Yeah, but if I do it, I have an excuse to be close enough to kiss you.” I lean over her and turn my head to press a kiss to her lips, causing her to hum.
“Hmm. Good point,” she whispers against my lips. “But it’s cold out there, so get in the truck.” She laughs, pushing me back from her.
I shake my head, close her door, and jog around the front of the truck to the driver’s side. I start the truck and turn to look at her while I give it a minute to warm up. Her head is tilted back against the headrest, but turned to look at me, a lazy smile on her face.
“What?” I ask, a small smile of my own growing.
“Nothing. I’m just happy.” She rests her elbow on the center console, places her chin in her hand, and studies me closely. “I don’t remember the last time I felt this kind of happy,” she whispers.
I mirror her position, leaning against the center console, bringing our faces within inches of each other. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t know the last time I felt this kind of happy, either.”
“Good.” The hand her chin rests on moves to my cheek, caressing it softly, tracing the lines I know are visible from my smile.
“What are you doing?” I whisper. Her touch is so soft and gentle. I don’t know the last time someone touched me with such care but I don’t want her to stop.
“Studying you,” she whispers back.
“Why?”
“Because I can.”
I watch her face closely as her eyes move over mine. The need I feel for her is unmatched. I want to kiss her, ravage her, but I also crave this touch, and I don’t want to lose it quite yet.
“You know you’re a handsome man, right?” she continues speaking softly.
“I’ve been told that before, yes,” I respond just as quietly, afraid of breaking whatever spell we are under. “But I don’t think I’ve ever believed anyone else like I believe you.”
“Hmm,” she hums. “That’s a shame. You should know how beautiful you are, not just physically, but your soul too.” Her eyes finally move to mine, where she continues studying them in the silence of the truck. “Melissa was crazy for ever letting you go.” There’s a heat in her eyes I can’t ignore anymore.
My hand goes to the back of her head, pulling her lips to mine. I don’t want to talk anymore. Right now, all I want is to feel her lips on mine, to have her taste on my tongue.
I should have driven her home right away. Then we’d be in the privacy of her cottage, but I was an idiot. I’m thanking my lucky stars for parking my truck in the alley down the street. We aren’t entirely safe from prying eyes, but we are much safer than if I had parked on the street like I usually do.
Quinn’s kiss is just as urgent, just as forceful. She shifts in her seat, trying to get closer, but gets trapped by her seatbelt.
“What’s wrong?” I trail my lips over her cheek to her ear. My free hand moves to her opposite cheek, allowing me to angle her head the way I need it. “Do you need something?” I ask softly before sucking on the sensitive spot behind her ear.
“Yes,” she hisses. “I need you.”
“I’m right here,” I say, continuing to suck at her neck.
“I-I … I need more.” Her words end on a moan.
“Tell me.” I trail my lips across her cheek, back to her lips for another heated kiss. Her hands cup my face, trying to keep me where I am.
My hand falls from her cheek, down past her shoulder, grazing her breast, before falling to her waist. I push her sweater up just enough to feel the soft skin of her side against my hand.
I trail my lips over her cheek to find the exact spot behind her other ear. “What do you need? Do you need me to touch you?” I pull away enough to see her face as my fingers dip into the top of her leggings, feeling the top of her panties. Her hips shift, searching for my touch.
“Please,” she breathes.
“I need the words, Quinn.” I bring my lips back to hers, holding my position.
“Touch me,” she whispers urgently.
My hand immediately slips past her panties to the apex of her thighs. “Fuck. You’re so wet.” I stroke her clit softly. “Is that all for me?”
“Yes. Please don’t stop.” She grinds her hips into my hand, searching for the friction I have yet to give her.
“I like the sound of you begging.” I press my thumb into her clit and slip two fingers into her slick entrance. Quinn gasps, grinding her hips further into my hand and tilting her head back in pleasure. “Look at me. I want to see you when you break.”
“Declan,” she moans, bringing her eyes back to mine. The heat I see has me shifting in my seat, trying to find relief for my aching cock. I keep my thumb on her clit and slide my fingers in and out, curling them with each thrust in, hitting her exactly where she needs me most.
One of her hands releases from the death grip she has on my shirt and falls to my wrist, holding it in place, like I might stop. “I’m close.”
“Good.” I press my thumb harder to her clit, rubbing small circles. I feel her thighs start to tremble, feel how close she is to falling. “Come for me. Now.”
Quinn opens her mouth on a gasp and shatters with my name on her lips. I lighten my touch and slow my pace as she rides out the last of her orgasm, our eyes staying locked together. As her breathing returns to normal, I remove my hand from her leggings, bringing my fingers to my mouth and licking them clean. I moan at the taste of her.
Before either of us can say anything else, my phone rings from my jacket pocket.
Quinn groans, dropping her head to my chest, the center console still between us.
“It’s probably Ava. Wondering where I am,” I whisper, placing my hand on the back of her neck.
“Yeah, it’s late.” She shakes her head against me.
“Are you good?” I was so caught up in the moment, I didn’t think about how this would affect Quinn with her history. I’ve wanted her for so long, but if I rushed this and pushed her into something she didn’t want? I’ll never forgive myself. I know I asked for what she wanted, but in the heat of the moment, was she really clear-minded?
“Yeah.” She sighs against me. It takes her a minute, but when she lifts her head, there’s a shy smile on her face.
“You sure?” I bring my hand up to cup her cheek. I need to see the look on her face when she answers me.
She studies me, her eyebrows furrowing before a look of recognition crosses her face. “Oh, Dec, I’m good. I swear.” She looks down for a second before looking back up. “This isn’t the first time since …” She pauses, thinks about what to say, and tries again. “I got the help I needed.” She reaches up to cup my cheek, the smile returning. “I promise, I’m okay.”
“Okay.” I pull her back to me for a gentle kiss, lingering for a little bit.
My phone rings again. “I should get that,” I say reluctantly.
She groans. “Yeah.”