Chapter 4
Four
“Not a word about this to my father,” I warn Roger when he parks the car outside the three-story mansion I call my home.
“Yes, miss,” Roger replies diligently.
I thank him and exit the car. As I approach the heavy front doors, they open and Murphy, our butler, stands in wait.
“Welcome home, Miss Ashworth,” Murphy says with a cheery smile. “Hope everything went well during your hospital shift.”
“Yes, thank you,” I say, passing him in the foyer.
“Can I get you anything, miss?” he asks, closing the doors.
I wave him off. “No, I just need to take a shower and get ready for dinner at the club.”
“Of course, miss.”
I move through the hallway, barely glancing at the priceless art and antique furniture decorating the space. On my approach to the staircase, I overhear my brother, and there’s heat in his voice. This can only be the result of one thing.
Our parents.
Ash bursts out of a side door, almost knocking me over.
“Ness,” he yelps, reaching out and propping me up. “Sorry. I didn’t know anyone was around.”
“The door muffled your voice, but I could hear the intensity. What’s up?”
Ash flips his phone upward. “Just on the phone with our mother.”
I hiss like I’m in pain. “That can’t have been fun.”
“I don’t understand why she’s constantly making things difficult,” Ash complains. “It’s been months since she left. Can’t she just come home already?”
I bite into my lip. “Ash, Mom’s not coming home.”
Ash groans. “Why do you always have to be like that? Just because she didn’t come back with you, doesn’t mean she’s staying over there forever.”
“Even if she comes back to Victoria Falls, it won’t mean she’ll return to Ashworth Estate,” I reply. “And if she did, I doubt she and Dad will be back together.”
“But none of this is certain.”
“You didn’t hear how she spoke in Switzerland.”
Ash rolls his eyes. “Dad was cold while you were gone. But it didn’t mean he didn’t want you both back home.”
“He was in denial.” I pause for a beat before adding, “Just like you.”
“Why are you being such a cow?”
“I just want you to get your head out of the clouds.”
“I’m not delusional. There’s nothing wrong with holding out hope.”
“I can see what’ll happen if Mom comes home,” I say, sorrow dropping my expression. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
Ash’s frown hardens as he stares me down. “How about you stop telling me how to feel?”
A lightning bolt of pain causes a splitting headache behind my forehead.
I clutch it, rubbing a tight circle with my thumb, and turn away from my brother.
I move toward the staircase and hear someone descending.
I lower my hand and view my father tightening his cufflinks as he takes the last few steps.
“Oh, Dad,” I say as he strides toward us. “I didn’t know you’d be home. Are you joining me at the club?”
“Hi honey,” Dad says, kissing my cheek. “No, afraid not. Two gents from Clifford and Garricks are in town, so we’re taking them to The Steakhouse.”
I follow behind him as he marches toward the front door. “We?”
Ash’s footsteps sound behind me. Over my shoulder, I watch him pull on a blazer.
I slow my pace, gawking at him. “You’re going with Dad?”
Ash mutters, “You’re so lucky you don’t get dragged along to these things.”
Yeah. I’m so lucky my younger brother gets included in the family business and I’ve been excluded my entire life. I exhale hard, derailing the negative thoughts, and catch up to Dad.
With my hands clasped in front, I ask, “Are you sure you don’t want to wine and dine them at the country club?”
“I’m sure. They are guys’ guys. They like a good pound of prime rib and a quart of scotch in them.” Dad throws an arm around me. “They’re not the type of men I want in the same vicinity as my little lady.”
“I can hold my own. Plus, I can change my plans and join you at The Steakhouse.”
Dad lets me go, chuckling. “No, darling, that’s not something I see happening.”
I pout. “I don’t have to be kept on the shelf.”
Dad cups my chin. “Of course you don’t. You’ll venture into the world and do amazing things. I don't need to watch over you because you’re a good girl.”
I smile despite the heavy weight of defeat. “Okay, Dad.”
Dad moves over to Murphy, who holds out his coat.
My apathetic brother stops by me. “This’ll be fun. Sitting around while they get liquored up and I’ve got four years until I’m allowed to drink with them.”
I narrow my eyes. “Would you really want to get drunk with these guys?”
Ash shrugs. “It’d probably help the night go faster. And it’d help me forget all the vile things you’ve said to me.”
I grimace. “Ugh. You wouldn’t hide your problems with cocktails like our parents, would you?”
Ash smirks. “I know you’ve got the good and pure act going on, but wait until you get a taste of the real world.”
I scoff in dispute. “And, what? Because Dad doesn’t take me on business trips, I don’t know what the real world is like?”
Ash pats my shoulder, wearing a teasing smile. “You just stick to planning social events.”
“Ready to go, Ash?” Dad asks, walking out the front door.
“No, but I’m coming,” Ash jokes, following Dad outside.
While Murphy closes the front door, I take the stairs, needing more than ever to wash this day away. Upstairs, I move through the halls to my wing. A swell of relief fills me on the approach to my bathroom. And then the doorknob turns.
Huh?
The door opens and Christie, my brother’s girlfriend, emerges.
“Oh, hi, Vanessa,” she says, almost startled. “How was your time at the hospital?”
I stop dead, unimpressed. “It was fine, thanks.”
Christie’s shoulders slump forward with guilt. “Oh, sorry about using your bathroom. It’s just closer to my bedroom, and I didn’t know you were home.”
I force myself not to scowl. “It’s fine. Although, it shouldn’t matter if I’m home or not.”
Christie raises her hands, palms facing me. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”
I rub my head, wanting this exchange over and done with. “It’s no problem. I’ve just had a long day.”
“Did you have a difficult shift?”
“It’s a shock to the system, seeing so many people in distress.”
“I bet. I think it’s amazing what you’re doing over there.”
“Thanks.” I move over to the bathroom and grip the doorknob. “What are your plans for this evening?”
“Movie night with my parents,” she says, upbeat. “We’ll be on the third floor, in the family room. I’ll see you later?”
I wave her off. “Probably not.”
Before I enter the bathroom, our housekeeper Claudia enters the wing, passing Christie on her way out.
“Hello Miss Ashworth,” Claudia says with a cheery smile. “How are you this evening?”
“Well, thank you. Although, I’m dying for a shower.”
Claudia tilts her head with mild concern. “You look exhausted. How about I run you a bath with essential oils?”
Just the mention of it fills me with calm. “Would you mind?”
Claudia makes her way into my bathroom. “For you, I never mind.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and wander into my bedroom.
I plonk onto the edge of my bed and flop backwards onto the quilted comforter. I stare at the vaulted ceiling as water hitting porcelain echoes throughout the hallway. Flashes of Dax and McCoy’s scuffle replay in my mind. I shudder, frightened at how close I came to physical danger.
What the heck was I thinking? How did following Dax home seem like a good idea?
I press my hands against the sides of my head and scrunch my eyes closed. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about it.
“Miss Ashworth,” Claudia calls. “Your tub is ready.”
I pull myself up despite my head feeling like an anvil. I drag myself into the hall and toward the bathroom. Mentally exhausted, I embrace Claudia for one of her cozy, warm hugs. Like magic, my head feels substantially lighter.
In the bathroom, I grin at my sparkling white, oval-shaped soaking tub. The scent of jasmine and lavender wafts from the bubbles and steam. I shed my clothes and submerge into the water.
“Ahhh.”
I sink to the bottom of the tub and let my body float. My head rests on the ergonomic pillow, water seeps over my chin, and the scented fumes renew my energy.
Maybe I won’t go to the country club tonight. Spending an hour in the tub and then heading to bed would be delightful. Murphy could organize a serving of pasta primavera to be sent from the club restaurant. I could eat in my bathrobe while wearing a clay face mask.
Ah, sounds like heaven. If only my friends’ mothers weren’t at the country club. When they notice my absence, it’ll circulate its way back to my mother.
I’m already hearing her lecture. “Being seen is everything, Vanessa. Every time you’re in one of your peers’ stories, it reminds their parents of the importance our family has in their lives. Your role is paramount in keeping those cogs moving. We can’t afford any slip-ups.”
And just like that, my serenity is destroyed. Any thought of my mother tips me over the edge. Despite the fact she left town, she insistently rules my life, as well as those in our circle. Sometimes, her instructions are so overbearing, they cause me to lash out.
And it’s never at her.
Innocent bystanders bear the brunt of my aggression. Hence the importance of volunteering at the St. Mark’s Hospital. I have some serious karma cleansing to do.
As I gather a wad of bubbles, Dax Malone pops into my head again. Dang, I’d just gotten rid of him. What is it about this boy that makes him stick? He’s an irritating, scruffy smoker, who’s possibly in trouble with the law.
I exhale hard and focus on the heat of the water. Snap out of it, Vanessa. He hasn’t made your heart flutter. You’re mistaking that feeling for repulsion. He’s not worthy of being in your brain.
Stop thinking about him.