Chapter 12
Twelve
I expected a lecture from Maddy on the way to school this morning.
Instead, she was too busy discussing her travel itinerary and all the things she needs to pack.
That then morphed into needing to buy new swimwear and evening dresses.
She then giggled, saying she wouldn’t buy now.
She’d wait and have a shopping spree in Hawaii.
A shopping spree. In Hawaii.
These are the things my aunt got excited about this morning.
Me. I get the luxury of a study session in the library while missing out on soccer practice.
Milo sits across from me, flipping pages. Every curl of paper makes my skin crawl.
I can’t stand his face this morning. I tap my pen against the woodgrain of the table. I stare at him and rage boils inside me.
Milo’s eyes leave his book and lock onto my pen. His gaze flicks up to me and his eyebrows lift.
“What?” I say bluntly, holding his stare.
He motions to the pen. “Must you?”
I tap the pen harder and to a faster beat. “I must.”
Milo huffs, slouching in his seat. “You’re in a mood.”
“You think?” I snap. “I’m missing soccer practice and it’s all your fault.”
At that, he sits taller. “My fault?”
“Yes. You opened your big yap in front of Coach and made me look bad. We only missed out on studying yesterday because you brought your friends along.”
Milo’s eyes scrunch closed as he shakes his head, comprehending my words. When he stills and opens his eyes, he asks, “Is that how you saw yesterday?”
My hand throbs from smashing the pen against the tabletop, but my frustration won’t let me stop. “I didn’t at the time, or I wouldn’t have let you sabotage me.”
“Sabotage? Excuse me for letting you have a minute to make a friend.”
I scoff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You and Christie were hitting it off. I thought you were having a good time.”
The pen slips out my hand, greased up by my sweat, and hits the carpet below. I fold my arms and huff. “What’s it to you?”
“Whatever,” Milo grumbles, refocusing on the page in front of him. “I don’t care. Let’s just finish these notes for history class.”
With his eyes off me, my rigid arms slacken to my sides. I watch him underline a paragraph in his textbook. Without my incessant tapping, the silence is deafening.
My clammy hands flex at my sides and an uncomfortable pain knots in my stomach.
Do I want him to care?
“So, are you gonna pick up the pen, or what?” Milo asks, not looking up.
My teeth grit as he continues to mark up the page.
After that comment, no, I don’t want to pick up the pen.
I’m just gonna silent-treatment him. He won’t get anything else out of me today.
I’m so fed up with being stuck with him.
I’m sick of memorizing all these useless facts.
I’m itching to run drills, not recall dates of when wars started and finished.
Milo still hasn’t looked up.
Does he not care if I pick up the pen? Is he fine with me just sitting here doing nothing? Won’t he try to get me to work? What if him not doing anything at this exact moment is the reason I have to leave Ashworth Academy?
Would that make him happy?
Hot air puffs out my nostrils as I groan and snatch the pen off the carpet.
“Do you want to copy my notes?” Milo asks once my pen is back on the table.
He still hasn’t looked up.
Fine. If he’s not giving eye contact, I’m not speaking to him.
I look at the question prompts from our teacher, but the words blur. I sit the pen on the page and frown. I don’t want to be here. I want to be out on the field. This is so unfair. If my family were rich, I wouldn’t have to learn this stuff, and I wouldn’t be benched.
Kai would never be treated this way.
I look back at Milo, who still copies from his textbook. Why does he care about this stuff? He’s smart enough to pass his classes without all the extra effort.
Good to my word, I only replied to Milo in a series of grunts for the rest of our tutoring session.
It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
I have put in well below minimum effort in all of my classes.
When I leave geography class with Tyler, a zombie could drag themself into the hallway quicker than me.
Following Tyler into the cafeteria, I hear my name called. I halt before reaching any of the tables and see my teammates; Leah, Dominica, and Hayley, storming toward me.
“How could you?” Dominica snaps.
“Huh?” I squeak, feeling claustrophobic as they surround me.
Hayley whacks my shoulder. “How could you be so selfish?”
“I don’t know… What are you...?” My eyes dart around them. Seriously. Why are they getting in my face?
“Coach told us you’re off the team,” Leah says and stamps her foot. “How could you do this to us?”
I fold my arms and look at my shoes. “I’m just benched.”
Hayley groans. “You weren’t even at training today.”
“I… I just…”
“You had to study,” Dominica cuts in. “Don’t you think we all have classes too? But we work hard so we don’t jeopardize our place on the team.”
Leah steps in close and I’m blasted by the heat of her frustration. “Don’t you get it, Jamie? Team. It’s about all of us. Not just our individual needs.”
“No, I get it… I just… It wasn’t a big deal,” I splutter. “I don’t…”
“No big deal?” Leah’s voice goes up an octave. “Since when is a soccer game not a big deal?”
Sweat drizzles my forehead and my heart pounds to a nervous beat. Of course, it’s a big deal. Not playing is killing me. I wish I could say it, but their angry expressions have me paralyzed.
“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Dominica asks.
“Can’t you even apologize to us?” Hayley asks, her eyes rounding as she pouts.
I stare at them, my mouth falling open as I mumble whispered nothings.
Dominica’s eyes narrow at me. “What's wrong with you? Why can't you talk properly?”
Hayley huffs, averting her eyes. “She’s so frustrating.”
“Let’s just leave,” Leah says gruffly, turning away. “She can go back to sitting with all the guys.”
Hayley’s groan reverberates. “How does she pull that off? So many guys are drawn to her.”
Dominica smirks. “That’s the frustrating part.”
As the girls move away, Leah grumbles, “I bet she doesn’t see how lucky she is.”
My mouth hangs open. As the girls disappear toward their lunch table, it finally puffs out of me. “Lucky?”
One, why did they start talking about me like I wasn’t there? Two, are they jealous I hang out with guys?
A feeble excuse for laughter hums out of me. Now, that’s a joke. Do they think I can easily get a boyfriend? Oh, please!
Okay, so let’s recap. The Miss Perfects call me a tomboy loser who’ll never get a boyfriend. Now my soccer teammates are jealous because I’m friends with boys. How am I lucky to be constantly friend-zoned?
Alternatively, Christie thought I was dating Milo. Eww. Did she really think Milo was the best I could do? It’s because of him I missed training this morning and now my teammates hate me more than they already did.
Grrr! That’s it.
I stomp my feet, curl my hands into fists to the point they sting, and march toward my lunch table.
“I’m going to practice with you guys after school,” I blurt as I screech a chair out.
Kai jolts, dropping his sandwich. He looks up at me, asking, “What, like to watch?”
My eyes widen as I shake my head and plop down on the seat. “Nope. I’m doing drills with you.”
“All right,” Tyler cheers with a loud clap. “It’s been ages since we kicked the ball around with you.”
Kai’s eyebrows twitch as he leans in. “Didn’t your coach say you couldn’t touch a ball unless he was training you?”
I shrug. “Screw it.”
Tabitha leans around Kai. “Is it normal for a girl to play on the boys' team?”
I lean forward and scream at her, “Butt out!”
When a horrified look crosses her face, I sit back. But I almost slip off the side of the chair. Because I wasn’t leaning forward. My throat isn’t scratchy. Because I didn’t yell.
It was a very vivid daydream.
And now, as per usual, everyone is staring at me, wondering why I still haven’t spoken.
I slide on my chair, sitting properly, and thump my elbows on the table.
Kai nudges his lunch tray by me. “Hungry?”
When I reach for a fry, Tabitha clears her throat and says, “Ah, babe, I wasn’t done.”
A blush sweeps across Kai’s cheeks and his eyes vibrate like he’s making the hardest decision of his life. Keep the tray by his best friend or nudge it across to his girlfriend.
I roll my eyes and decide for him. I shove the tray across, muttering, “I’m not hungry.”
“Word around school has made everyone hungry for milkshakes,” Kai says. “Apparently, Ash’s girlfriend can’t stop talking about them. I still can’t believe you hung out with them and didn’t call me. You know how much I want to hang out with that guy.”
“Why? Because we all bore you?” I tease, gesturing at our friends.
“No,” Kai replies. “He can get anything at a snap of a finger. I’ve overheard all the epic things he and his buddies get up to on the weekends.”
Tabitha curls an arm around Kai’s bicep. “We’d make such a cute double date.”
Kai’s eyes light up. “Do you know his girlfriend?”
“I’m working on it,” Tabitha says, her enthusiasm growing at the same rate as Kai’s.
I have to look away before my eyes go into a rolling spasm. Although, it does fill me with a little glee that my time with the school’s it couple has also made Tabitha jealous. That’s a nice bonus I hadn’t intended on.
The end of the school day could not come sooner. Kai’s team always trains on Thursday afternoons and Saturday mornings before games. I change into my soccer uniform and tighten my cleats. Kai meets me by the girl’s locker room and jogs down to the field to approach his coach.
“What’s this?” Coach Lyle asks with his hands on his hips.
Could he grimace any harder at me?
“Jamie missed her practice this morning,” Kai says. “Can she join us?”