Chapter 27 #2
With no luck, we arrive at school before the first bell.
Kai steers me by the shoulders to my locker and my first class because my brain is still numb.
I remain glazed over during my first three classes.
Milo ignoring me, and doing something that hurt him is bad enough.
But I need to talk to Coach today, and it’s terrifying me.
What if he doesn’t believe me? He’ll laugh in my face and tell me to leave his office. Or, what if he gets mad and never wants to see me again because my mom lied? He’d throw me off the team and tell the school administration to rip up my scholarship.
Or what if he already knows? What if he chose to keep it from me, just like Mom? I can’t even fathom that outcome. It makes my stomach twist in on itself.
When class ends, I hold a fist over my mouth, swallowing the building sickness at the back of my mouth.
I edge my way into the hall, cradling my books under one arm as I press my other arm into my gut.
I edge along the wall, focusing on my shoes as my insides slosh.
As I wait for the crowd to push past, I lift my gaze.
Trudging close to the wall and toward me is Milo.
His glasses can’t hide the bags under his eyes. He probably tossed and turned as much as me, listening to that soul-crushing storm continue throughout the night.
We could’ve stayed up together. Worried together. Comforted each other.
Now, in the hall, he looks up in time to lock eyes with me. His frown doesn’t budge, but his eye color dulls. He pushes off the wall, diverting his path away from me.
“Milo?” I call in a pathetically soft tone.
Even if he heard me, I doubt he’d turn around. Knowing the pain he’s in doesn't make the rejection any easier. A sharp pain digs into my heart. I shut my eyes and lower to the ground, pressing my back to the wall. I blow out a breath and feel bile rising from my stomach.
I hate that he’s so mad at me. I hate that he can’t look at me.
Gosh, I miss him so much.
I rub my thumb between my temples. I’m supposed to talk to Coach. How the heck do I do this?
“Jamie?” a voice asks with concern.
I open my eyes and look up, finding Tabitha lowering to the ground.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
With a clenched jaw, I shake my head.
She winces. “Are you sick?”
“Mhmm.” I swallow roughly. “Where’s Kai?”
Tabitha gestures down the hall. “I was about to meet up with him by his locker.”
I stare hard at her. “I need Kai.”
She rises. “I’ll get him.”
Another wave of sickness bubbles up and I swallow with a grunt.
“Kai!” Tabitha calls, standing on her toes and waving. “Over here.”
Before I can find him in the hall, I hear him skid. He kneels by me, grabbing my shoulders and pulling my gaze toward his. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t…” I shake my head and swallow again. “I can’t do this.”
He nods, his grip on me getting stronger. “Have you seen Coach?”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
He rubs my back. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to go home,” I moan. “I wanna barf.”
He pulls back and I see his smile. “Not all over me, I hope.”
I let out a faint laugh, and he helps me to stand. He turns to Tabitha, saying, “I’m taking Jamie to the nurse. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”
Clearly disappointed, Tabitha nods and forces a smile. “Yeah, sure.”
I forget about the other students walking up and down the halls as Kai guides me to the nurses’ office.
Mrs. Whiteborne, the school nurse, could tell I was feeling unwell, but her thermometer detected nothing out of the ordinary.
Luckily, Kai motor-mouthed our way through it.
He told Mrs. Whiteborne that my aunt was away and I was staying with his family.
I think he was going for sympathy, but I was barely listening.
He then fibbed about something we ate for dinner, which didn’t agree with us.
Visibly tired from listening to Kai, Mrs. Whiteborne agreed we should take the rest of school off.
Kai fake called his mother, and soon he was driving us back to his house.
We already knew his mom had taken his grandparents into the city for some appointments.
Thank goodness we’ll have the house to ourselves.
“I just want to nap,” I grumble, trudging upstairs.
“When you get changed, come to my room.”
I look back at him before disappearing into Milo’s room. “Why?”
“Because I want to stay with you, and I don’t want to stay in my brother’s room.”
I roll my eyes and step into the bedroom. “Fine, whatever.”
After changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, I make my way to Kai’s bedroom while throwing on an oversized hoodie.
My frown drags me down, remembering how Milo avoided me at school.
I wish I were staying in his bedroom. His scent still lingers in there, and it’d be nice to curl up in his bed, thinking about nicer times.
As I step into Kai’s room, I spy the trundle bed on the floor. A small smile battles my frown as I think about napping inside Milo’s sheets.
Kai pats the bed as he digs his legs under his bed cover. “Get over here.”
I suppose it’s best I don’t fantasize about Milo while alone with Kai. I move over to his bed and curl up with him. Kai’s arm pulls around my middle and I rest my head against the pillow.
“Thank you for bringing me home,” I whisper. “I just can’t do today.”
“Don’t mention it. You know I’ll do anything for you.”
I sigh happily, closing my heavy eyes as I listen to the game sounds coming from Kai’s phone.
It was almost a ninety-minute nap. Afterwards, Kai and I don’t talk much. Just being around him made everything easier. I enjoy watching him play a dumb game on his phone and letting my mind stay as numb as can be.
Even though my life has been turned upside down and covered in trash, this moment feels normal. It’s me and Kai, alone. No one else is getting in the way. Just like it used to be. Just like he’s been asking for all week.
Once we hear movement downstairs, things get a little tense. School has technically finished, but we’re still home too early. When his mother doesn’t start calling him by his full name, we know we’re in the clear.
I listen out for voices. Would Milo be looking for Kai to give him a ride home? Probably not, because he’s avoiding me like the plague. He’d want his grandpa to pick him up, so I’m sure he’s home now.
I stretch out on the bed, and Kai’s fingers tap against my side. I giggle as he tries playing my ribs like a keyboard. I twist in the bed, turning to face Kai, and I squirm away from his hand.
Over the sound of my laughter, I distinctly hear footsteps.
“Oh,” a startled voice says.
I shoot up in bed, Kai’s arm unraveling from my middle. “Milo,” I breathe.
Milo’s eyes grow circular, and he’s quick to readjust his glasses. He shuts his ajar mouth, moves to the closet, and snags a hoodie.
“Wait,” I mumble as he stomps out of the room.
“James,” Kai says gently, squeezing my shoulder as he sits up in bed. “I know you feel bad for him, but you’re going through a much bigger deal.”
“I have my thing, and his thing.” I clutch the space on my chest over my heart. “I’m the reason for his thing. He’s hurting because of me.”
“You can’t keep blaming yourself,” Kai reassures. “You let the cat out, but you didn’t want him to run away.”
Should I tell him the truth? Tell him I have a crush on his twin brother? No, it’s more than that. I’m falling…
My breath hitches in my throat.
My heart swells like a balloon.
Oh my gosh, it’s true. I’m falling for Milo.
Kai tilts his head. “James?”
I swallow hard. The same overwhelming sickness takes over from when I thought about telling Coach the truth. I pull my legs to my chest, needing to escape this new truth bomb. I don’t want to talk to Kai, but I do want to help Milo.
I scoot out of the bed, ducking Kai’s attempts to pull me back. “I gotta do something.”
Kai sighs. “What are you doing?”
I scoop my hair into a ponytail and make my way out of the bedroom. “Don’t worry yourself.”