Chapter 29 #2
“Milo, please,” I say softly, grasping his hands. “Don’t pull away. It’s not like I’m keeping a secret. You know I’m talking with Kai about something. Isn’t that enough?”
“Would you mind if I actively kept secrets from you?”
I frown, feeling knots intensify in my back. “This isn’t about you. What is about you is the fact I’m crazy about you, and I want to kiss you.”
His lip quirks, fighting the urge to smile while his frown dominates his expression.
I stroke his jawline. “If I tell you about what Kai and I were discussing, all kissing will stop.”
His head tilts. “Why?”
“Because all I’d want to do is puke.”
He smirks. “Well, I don’t want that.”
My fingers walk along his shoulders and meet behind his neck.
I sit on my knees and look deeply into his hazel eyes.
“Milo, you’re the only person I want to think about.
You’re the only person who constantly makes me feel good about myself.
Even when we weren’t talking, all I wanted to do was make it better.
I wanted to be better. When we're together, I want you to feel amazing. You’re so important to me. Do you believe me?”
His eyes blink twice, and then are framed by smile lines. “Yeah, cutie. I believe you.”
I peck his lips. Before I can pull away, his hands run along my sides and plant on my back. He pushes back on my lips, applying a passionate layer of pressure. His head tilts, angling his kiss and giving me plenty of reassurance he’s still in this with me.
The words from Mom’s diary push their way into my brain. I scrunch my eyes closed and lean against Milo as my lust amps up. Any proposed images of talking to Coach about him and my mom dissipate as Milo mimics my level of heat.
I completely understand why he wants to know what I’m hiding. It would drive me nuts too. But living inside my head with the truth is torture. Why can’t I just have more time of sunshine and rainbows with Milo? Is that too much to ask?
If Milo knows, all he’ll want to do is talk about it. He’ll pep talk me into talking with Coach. Yes, I’ll eventually need that. But right now, I’m not ready. Instead, I want things to be easy. Making out and random chats about homework are more than enough for me to handle.
I run a hand down the front of Milo’s sweatshirt and trace over the embossed lettering.
He mumbles a laugh, missing my lips, and tickling my cheek with small puffs of air.
I lean in, angling my face toward his neck, and nibble under his jaw.
His hands press into my back in approval, and another soft chuckle whispers out of him.
I’m so into him, I can’t pull myself away, even though something pricks my ears. I don’t want to figure out what it is, even though it comes closer. Soon there’s a thud at our door.
“What in the…” It comes out of Kai with increasing volume. “James? Mi… What the… My God!”
Milo and I break apart, and I scramble to the top of the bed. “Kai, it’s not…”
Kai puffs in horror. “Not what? You and my brother locking lips?”
Milo stands from the bed. “Can you calm down? Jamie and I…”
“Oh, no you don’t,” Kai blurts, holding up a hand like a stop sign at Milo. “Don’t you dare say another word to me.”
“Don’t speak to him like that,” I bark.
Kai gives me a crazed look. “What the hell is this? Why are you hooking up with my brother?”
“Because,” I splutter. “Because…”
My eyes wander to Milo, who gives me the same bewilder expression.
Kai throws his hands up, flabbergasted. “Did you two just butt heads and not realize what you were doing? Seriously, I feel like I’m having another concussion.”
“It’s not that hard to work out,” Milo says, taking a calmer approach. “We like each other. We’re together.”
Kai’s face screws up. “Together? What does that mean?”
“Kai, we didn’t want you freaking out,” I say, edging off the bed and standing by Milo. “We kept it a secret so we could get to know each other without anyone getting in the way.”
Realization intensifies the horrified look on Kai’s face. “Are you telling me this has been going on for a while and neither one of you said anything?”
Milo and I awkwardly fidget in response.
Kai shoves Milo. “How many more times are you going to betray me?”
“Whoa!” As Milo stumbles backward, I step between the twins. “Kai, leave him alone!”
“Jamie, are you freaking kidding me? I can’t believe this. After all the crap I got about Tabitha.” Kai grunts, turning away and shaking his head. Just before he walks out, he turns back and points at Milo. “How could you not say anything?”
It takes me aback more than it does Milo. Is Kai really more mad at him than me?
Kai groans loudly and thunders his way downstairs. Before Milo and I can make it across the living room, we hear Kai shout, “I can’t freaking believe this!”
“Kai? What is it?” Mrs. Nelson replies.
“Oh no,” Milo mutters as we lock eyes.
With the creepiest chill running down my spine, I springboard for the stairs and race down them. My rampant heart rate keeps me lightning fast as I power my way toward the dining room where Kai and his mother stand.
“Those two!” Kai yells, pointing at me and Milo as his chest rises and falls in wild succession.
My hands raise in defense as Mrs. Nelson gives us a questioning stare. “What’s this all about?” she asks.
Milo steps ahead of me, readying himself to defuse the situation, but Kai gets ahead of him.
“They were making out on Milo’s bed!” Kai yells.
Gasps ricochet from the living room couches. Mr. Nelson and the grandparents’ heads snap our way. Mrs. Nelson’s mouth hangs wide open, processing the astonishing information.
Milo steps forward, holding an arm out in front of me. “Jamie and I…”
“Wait,” Mrs. Nelson interrupts, pulling on Milo’s arm. “Everyone, take a seat at the dining table and cool down. I don’t want you two boys yelling at each other. Steve, get over here!”
“I’m not sitting,” Kai argues.
After yanking Milo toward the table, their mother then wrangles Kai to the opposite seat. With a churning stomach, I forced myself to the table, taking the seat by Milo.
“Okay,” Mrs. Nelson says, taking a steadying breath. She stands at the head of the table with her husband uncomfortably standing by. “Now, let’s all take the hostility down a few pegs. Tell me what happened.”
“What happened?” Kai screeches, lifting off the chair to throw a condemning hand our way. “I told you, Mom. They were in his bedroom, sucking each other’s faces off.”
Concern dimples Mr. and Mrs. Nelsons’ faces. “Is this true?” Mrs. Nelson asks in a shaky tone.
“I wouldn’t put it like that,” I mutter, shrinking under her gaze.
Milo throws a pointed hand at Kai. “He’s making it sound ugly. Jamie and I weren’t doing anything wrong.”
“Son,” Mr. Nelson starts warily. “If you and Jamie were kissing in your bedroom, you know that’s against house rules.”
Milo rolls his eyes, groaning. “It’s not like anything more was going to happen. We could’ve been sitting on a couch in the living room.”
“My relationship with Tabby isn’t a secret, but I didn’t sneak her upstairs,” Kai jabs.
“Would you stop,” Milo snaps. “We weren’t doing anything wrong. It’s not like I held her any closer than you did when she was in your bed!”
Mrs. Nelson chokes on her gasp, clutching the back of the dining chair. She and her husband stare at me, disturbed and mortified.
My heart pounds like a heavy mallet, and my back aches from the tightening knots. I know exactly how they’re looking at me.
I kick the seat back and stand, slamming my hands on the table. “I’m not a slut!”
Mrs. Nelson clutches her chest. “No one said you were, dear.”
Mr. Nelson gently raises his hand. “Jamie, we…”
“Save it,” I mutter and B-line out of the room.
I hear Milo call out to me, but I hurriedly race up the stairs.
Humiliation seizes me, feeling the grandparents’ eyes burning holes in my hunched back.
Hating every millisecond of my weeping eyes filling with water, I run into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
I dive onto the bed and hide under the covers, internally screaming.
Every handwritten entry from my mother, cursing other women for calling her the s-word, spirals through my mind.
Tears soak my pillow. She’d hate it if she knew people looked at me that way.
I collapse into a tight ball, clawing at the bedcover for protection. The voices in the dining room are so heated, I hear the agitated mumbles rise through the carpet. My knuckles crack and my palms cramp as I tug harder on the bed cover. It’s now too tight, but I don’t dare let go.
It’s a long while until I hear other noises. Hurried footsteps bound up the stairs, and soon there’s a knock at the door.
“Jamie?” Milo’s voice asks with tenderness. “Are you okay?”
A soft squeak escapes me.
“I’m so sorry about what happened down there,” he says through the door. “Kai can be an absolute jerk. I can’t remember the last time I yelled like that.”
My head sits against my knees. Can he just go away?
“I really hope you’re okay,” he says with concern.
“Milo,” his mother's voice calls from the stairs. “You leave Jamie alone. Either study in Kai’s room or come back downstairs.”
Milo grumbles and moves away from my door.
I grunt and throw off the cover, breathing in the fresh air. I sit up in bed, my hands flexing in and out of fists.
Now Milo’s banned from being near me? What makes them so afraid? Do they think I’ll kiss him into the dark side? Does it not cross his parents’ minds that we might truly be into each other on a deeper level? Kissing is just a bonus of what we share.
I stay in bed for the rest of the evening.
It was already getting late before Milo and I started heating things up, so it didn’t take long for the rest of the household to turn in.
I’d decided before I hearing the usual cleaning up sounds of Mrs. Nelson nightly routine.
I can’t spend another night in this house.
I’m not getting up in the morning to see their outraged faces.
They might’ve branded me with such ugly words, but I don’t have to stay here and take it.
When even my best friend turns on me, I can’t win.
I creep out of the bedroom and hear metal music seeping out from under Kai’s closed door.
Beside me, light spills out from underneath the bathroom door.
While both boys are occupied, I sneak downstairs with nothing more than my cell phone.
I tiptoe into the kitchen to fish Aunt Maddy’s car keys from the bowl.
Who cares about failing a driver’s test?
I know how to drive, and I know I need to be home.