Chapter 27 #2
“Ryder,” I start.
“No.” He doesn’t look at me, shifting to turn away from me. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“But we need to talk about…”
“What you said in that hallway?” He finally looks at me with narrowed dark eyes. “That was a lot, Alice.”
“I know. I was wrong. I just thought you...”
“Thought I what?” He tilts his head. “Stabbed you in the back? Thought I finally wanted some of your drama to mess up my life? That’s what you think of me?”
The bluntness of his words shoves me back. “Look, I was angry and I…”
“You were angry.” He repeats it like he’s examining it. “Right.” He shifts the backpack strap and pockets his phone. “So, what was it, Alice? You were pissed at me for not handing in that essay, so you needed to explode at me?”
“No, it wasn’t…”
His hand plants on his chest, skewing his tie. “I was actually worried about you all day. I was looking for you, but you hid from me.”
“Today has been a lot,” I reply. “And when stuff about my parents came out, I just… I thought…”
Horror lengthens his features. “You thought I said something?”
“Well, I…” I stutter. “You were the only one…”
He sucks in a breath, and his brow furrows. “You think that little of me? For what it’s worth, Alice, I’ve said nothing about your parents.”
“I know. I was wrong,” I say. “It was Jasper. He found articles and he...”
“Great.” His voice is clipped. “So you were wrong. But you tore into me in the middle of the hallway like I was your biggest problem in life.”
Tears flood my eyes. “I said, I was wrong.”
“Yeah, you did.” He’s quiet for a second. “Doesn’t make the words go back in.”
I press my hands together. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
He exhales hard and looks away.
“Can we just...” I try. “Can we talk about it?”
“Alice, you know how serious things are right now,” Ryder says, an impatience hardening his tone.
“The gig this weekend was serious. The label is talking about a real contract. Three albums, touring support, the whole thing.” He gestures loosely at the surrounding school.
“Maybe the essay mattered to you, but in the grand scheme of things, it means nothing. Miranda only cares about school because Kensington does. But if I sign a contract before graduation, none of this will matter.”
I watch the foyer hum around us. Students pour past, heading for buses and the parking lot.
My voice comes out smaller than I intend. “It won’t matter that I moved here?”
He sighs. “That’s not what I was saying.”
“No, I get it.” I take a step back, shaking my hands loose at my sides. “Loud and clear, Ryder.”
I turn before he can say anything else and move through the crowd until I’m clear of him. Clear of his clipped tone, frustrated shoulders, and his three-album deal.
“Wait up!” Madison calls as I jog down the front steps out of the school.
I don’t know why I wait, but I do. After the last step, I veer off the path and stand on a patch of grass.
Madison brushes the loose hair off her face when she reaches me. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?”
The thought of it turns me green. “Nope.”
“I just told Ryder I’d take you home,” Madison says, hanging a thumb behind her. “I thought maybe you’d want some distance.”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to.”
“I’d sure want space if my boyfriend talked to me like that.”
I immediately flush. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Basically is,” Madison mutters. “I mean, the way you two moon-eyed each other while he was on stage on Saturday night… You’re like, totally together.”
“But we’re not.” It comes out louder than I mean, and I stomp my foot to get the irritation out. “This is what Ryder and I do. We get close, and then we fight. We’re not meant to be together.”
“When you two met, it was really sucky timing.”
Before I can summon the energy to respond, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and see Mrs. Patel’s name on the screen.
“It’s my neighbor,” I whisper, dread seeping into my stomach. “She never calls. She always waits for me to reach out to her.”
“Maybe it’s something about your old house?” Madison suggests.
I wince. “It is up for sale.”
Madison nudges me. “Well, answer it.”
I suck in a breath, and with nothing to lose, I hit the answer button. “Hello?”
“Alice, sweetheart, how are you?” Mrs. Patel says through labored breath.
I flinch, feeling my heart race. “I’m okay, but are you? You sound panicked.”
She puffs out a laugh. “No, I’m good. Just running between houses. Sweetheart, there’s a buyer for your parents’ house.”
I almost lose function of my knees and sway to keep myself upright. “Oh… okay.”
“And the business.” Mrs. Patel takes a breath before continuing. “Marshall’s Events is going to take over the space. With your parents… With less competition, they’re going to expand their business.”
I can only imagine this is what it feels like to be sucker-punched right in the heart.
From my peripheral vision, I spy Ryder and his bandmates leaving the school building and getting inside our usual car.
He didn’t even pretend to wait.
Not even a glance over his shoulder.
He’s leaving me behind.
“Okay,” I manage. “That’s fine. Mom and Dad would want the equipment to be used. I’m sure Marshall’s will do a great job.”
“You’re handling this so bravely.” Either a sniffle or another wheeze comes out of Mrs. Patel. “The realtor will email you the documents. You’ll need your guardian’s signature alongside yours.”
My stomach quivers at the thought of bringing Miranda into this. “Okay. Thank you for dealing with this for me.”
“It’s no problem, Alice. My family and I are always here for you.”
“I’ll let you know about the boxes.”
“Don’t worry about that for now. Just get the paperwork filled out as soon as you can.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll get onto it when I get home.”
I end the call and find Madison staring at me.
“What was that about?” she asks.
“My parents’ business and house have been up for sale,” I say slowly. “Looks like there’ll be sold signs going up.”
Madison bites her lip before speaking. “How do you feel about that?”
I shrug and reply honestly, “Numb.”
“Oh, Alice…”
I shake my head. “It’s fine. They needed to be sold. I don’t live there anymore. My parents aren’t there anymore. It just… sucks.”
Madison nods. “Want me to take you home?”
Before I can respond, raindrops hit the top of my head like light flicks from a finger. I close my eyes and let the air drain from my nostrils. “Perfect.”
Madison tugs on my blazer sleeve. “Alice, let’s get out of the rain before it really starts to pour.”
I open my eyes, watching the empty spot where Ryder’s driver had been parked. “What’s the point?”
“You’ll get wet. You’ll get cold.”
“He already left me.”
Madison looks to where my forlorn gaze lands. “Ryder? Yeah, he has.”
“He doesn’t care.”
“Don’t say that.”
“He left me in the rain. He’s usually here for me in the rain.”
“Why? What happens in the rain?”
I look up, letting the water droplets hit my face. “Usually I’m not standing.”
“What?”
I lower my face, wiping it with my sleeve. “I guess I stand on my own now.”
“Alice, you’re not making any sense.”
I shrug it off. “Sorry. Please, take me home.”
Madison fishes her keys out of her pocket, and we walk to the parking lot.
He left me.
He’d always wanted to leave me, but he hadn’t gone through with it before.
But now it’s raining, and he’s left me.
He knows how I handle storms.
The rain is still a light drizzle, but I know it’d be hitting his car windows.
And he hasn’t come back. He hasn’t made the driver turn around and collect me.
Ryder left me. I can’t take back the hurtful words I said, but can’t he understand why I thought he was at fault? For goodness’ sake, he put me at fault for so many other things.
We reach Madison’s car and when she unlocks it, I pat my face dry, realizing the usual pre-storm panic hasn’t set in. Yet, old habits ignite inside me.
I open the front passenger door and ask, “Can we swing by a gas station first?”
“I know you live out of town, but you don’t need to pay for gas.”
“No, umm… I want chocolate. And a soda. Maybe a packet of barbecue potato chips.”
Madison turns on the car’s ignition. “Comfort food, huh?”
I slink down in the front passenger seat. “Mm-hmm. I just want to stay numb for a little while longer.”