Chapter Seventeen
Iknow there are things that Aiden’s not telling me. I don’t believe that everything is okay, but I do think that he believes that he can solve whatever it is. That’s Aiden. That’s how he’s always been. He solves his problems and fights his battles on his own. I let him go without questioning him further. But I won’t lie—it drives another wedge between us. And we don’t need any more of them.
I dress in a pair of gray sweatpants and a T-shirt and head downstairs. I am intrigued by what the kitchen might hold. I’m not let down. When Aiden said it was stocked, he really meant it. I sift through all the meal-prepped, homemade meals, landing on some sort of Italian dish. I place it in the microwave and then take a seat at the bar, alone.
I can’t help but wonder what the girls are up to. Are they missing me? I would like to think that they are, but I might never know. I spend the next hour finishing my food and letting my mind wander—though I don’t let it run back to the past.
After I finish eating, I clean up the dish and put it away. I check the time, having half-expected Aiden to return. But he doesn’t. I spend the next three hours watching two different movies that I find on TV. I can barely concentrate on them as I wait, my anxiety growing. Where did he go?
Finally, just as I’m about to start a third film, I hear the door open from the garage. I jump to my feet and rush through the kitchen to see Aiden and a man I don’t recognize stepping through the opening. Their jeans are muddy, and they look disheveled.
“This cabrón is a sly motherfucker,” the stranger says in a drawn-out Hispanic accent. He rubs his bald head as he says the words. However, when he meets my gaze, he smiles.
“Ah, the wife is waiting, I see.”
“I’ll meet you upstairs, Sara,” Aiden tells me, his voice flat. “I need to finish up with Carlos first.”
“Where were you?” I ask, ignoring his command. I’m not his property to control and command. “You were gone a long time.”
Carlos raises his brows. “Uh, she’s feisty.”
“Go upstairs,” Aiden warns me, his gaze darkening. “Now.”
“Tell me where you were,” I throw back at him, ignoring the chuckle of amusement that slips from Carlos. “I deserve to know where you were. You said you would be right back, and you weren’t.”
“It took the time it took,” Aiden growls through gritted teeth.
I shake my head at him but don’t argue. Instead, I thunder back toward the bedroom like a pissed-off teenager. I don’t know why it bothers me, but maybe it’s the fact that I feel as if I’m stuck here, while he gets to do whatever he wants—without having to tell me about it.
It’s a reminder that I’m nothing other than a captive, no matter how romantic the sex seems. I burst into tears as soon as I reach the bedroom, and I slam the door behind me. Face down in the pillow, I let all the emotions out. This is the new Aiden rearing his ugly head. The old Aiden never would’ve talked to me like that.
He never would’ve kidnapped me.
He never would’ve fucked me and then pretended like I was his property.
I wrap my arms around myself and wonder what I’m doing. Why I’m even here? I spent the last seven years lost in the past, wishing that Aiden would show up again. Well now, he is back, and I don’t know if he’s the same man that left me. In fact, I know he’s not. But the glimpses I get of him spark hope, while the darkness in him draws me in.
Fuck you, Aiden.
The thought brings forth more tears, and I can’t help but think back to that painful night when I went looking for him. He hadn’t climbed into my window like he always did, and, in hindsight, I should’ve noticed that something was wrong. I’d found him outside a couple of streets over, nearly passed out in one of the neighborhood alleys.
As soon as we got back to my room, I noticed the changes in him. He was different somehow. His eyes were sunken in, and the dark circles around them were obvious. I remember thinking that he was starting to look like my mother. I’d been terrified when I’d seen him like that, stumbling around in my room and unable to get a hold of himself.
“I don’t deserve you, Sara,” he says, falling to the floor with a thud. “I never fucking deserved you. I thought I was getting everything just right for us—for the future—but I’m worse off than I’ve ever been.”
“What do you mean?” I kneel beside him, placing my hand over his. “If something is wrong, you just have to tell me. I can help you. I—”
“No one can help me, Sara.”
“You’ve been out of this house for a year…”
“Yeah, and I still couldn’t erase all that’s happened to me. The images of it just keep haunting me. They find me wherever I am, Sara. And ruin my life.”
“It’s just the pills talking,” I choke out the words, tears streaming down my face. “You have to stop using them. They won’t make you feel better.”
“I don’t want to use them.” Aiden looks me right in the eye. “I don’t want to ever use them again, but Will—”
“Stop trying to blame everyone else for your addictions,” I hiss at him, anger replacing my sympathy. “You don’t even know what you’re saying. You’re just fucked up in the head right now, and you’re imagining that Will is still out to get you. He kicked you out a year ago. Years. He doesn’t talk about you. He doesn’t care.”
“You’re not listening to me, Sara!” Aiden shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. “You only hear what you want. I’m not your fucking mom. I’m not out to be an addict. Please listen to me.”
I bat away the tears. “No, you listen to me. I’m tired of the excuses. Be the man you said you’d be or get the hell out of my life.”
His brows furrow, and his voice softens. “You really don’t believe me.”
I stifle the sob and the pain that’s searing through my chest.
“I believe that you’re a good man, Aiden, but you’ve been through a lot—and you’re lost.”
He nods slowly, swallowing hard and drawing his gaze from mine. “I’m not fucking lost. I told you I would save you. I stayed around to make sure you’re safe instead of running away from the place and people trying to kill me—all for you. It’s always been for you, and you’ll say I’m crazy, just so you don’t have to face the truth.”
“That’s not true,” I argue, reaching down to help him up from the floor. “And if that was the truth, I would’ve just left you in the alley instead of helping you to come home.”
He glares at my hand, but then takes it. Aiden is so much bigger than me, and it takes everything I have to pick him up off the floor. He sways, his body leaning against mine. If he was sober, I’d be overjoyed at the closeness, but instead, I only focus on guiding him to my bed.
“You need to rest.”
“I shouldn’t come here. He can hurt you.”
Once again, I’m stung by his words. I don’t say anything back to that, tucking him in like he’s a small child. It feels as though the tables have turned on us, and now I have to be the adult in the situation. I walk around the bed and climb in beside him, scooting away from his touch. He grunts something that I can’t make out, and I close my eyes.
Is this really what we’ve become? How is he going to get me out of here when he can’t even get himself to my window?
The memories fade as I lift my head from the pillow my face is buried in. It’s a reminder that not every day with Aiden was a good one. Though, after he disappeared, my mind had focused more on the good than the bad, still taunting me with how he let me down…
But how did he go from that Aiden to this one? My mind can’t wrap itself around any tangible ideas of what might’ve happened to him. He’s gone from being a poor college kid to suddenly… what? A millionaire? Billionaire? I couldn’t even put a price on this mega-house we were in, and he had people working for him.
I want to jump up and ask him. I want to demand that he tell me what has happened in the years between us. However, I don’t want to give him anything. I don’t want him to think that I’m bending to his will—even though, I clearly am. My body wants him, and even in its broken, dilapidated condition, my heart still wants him, too. It’s always been that way, even when he was high out of his mind and blaming everyone but himself.
I sigh, sitting up and running my fingers through my hair. “I hate you, Aiden. I hate you because I love you.” The words come out in a whisper. I eye the door, terrified of what might happen if he hears me. I don’t know this new Aiden or how he would react, and that’s terrifying.