Chapter 15 #2
But fear threaded through it. Fear of messing up his relationship with Miles. Fear of moving too fast and blowing everything up. Fear of what happened when people saw Noah Abbott—single-dad quarterback—with some random Etsy girl from another town on his arm.
“I want…” I started slowly, “to not hurt you. Or Miles. I want to be careful. And I want…” My voice went small. “You. Obviously. But wanting and being smart about it aren’t the same thing.”
He stepped a little closer, like any mention of him being hurt physically pulled him forward. “You’re not going to hurt me.”
“That’s optimistic,” I said weakly.
He shrugged one shoulder. “I’ve been hurt before. Didn’t kill me. This thing?” His eyes held mine, steady. “Feels a lot more like hope than fear.”
Something hot and prickly stung behind my eyes. Oh, absolutely not. We were not crying in the hallway after making out with our best friend.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, coach,” I said, trying for light. “What’s the game plan, then?”
His lips twitched. “Game plan is…we don’t decide everything tonight.”
“Yes, fine, but I need bullet points,” I insisted. “Do we pretend the kiss didn’t happen? Do we pretend it did but agree never to speak of it? Do we high-five about it? Do we sign a waiver?”
He actually laughed, the sound quiet but real. “I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen,” he said. “I’ve been wanting that kiss for a long time, Em.”
My whole body went soft.
“Well,” I said, voice shaking, “I liked it too. In case that wasn’t obvious from the whole… climbing you incident.”
“Yeah,” he said, eyes darkening for a second. “I noticed.”
Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Okay, so we don’t pretend it didn’t happen,” I said quickly. “But we also don’t…I don’t know…dive into a full relationship by breakfast? I can’t do that. Not with everything going on.”
“I’m not asking you to,” he said. “We can take it slow. Talk. Figure out what this looks like. We have time, and I want to try.”
That word lodged in my throat.
Time.
We’d already wasted so much of it.
But the way he said it—quiet, certain—made something inside me unclench a little.
“Tomorrow,” I said. “Can we talk more tomorrow?”
His gaze dropped to my mouth, then lifted again. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Tomorrow.”
“Okay.” I exhaled. “Good. Great. I’m going to go to bed before I do anything else impulsive. Like propose marriage. Or ask to see your abs.”
He snorted. “I’d say yes to either, you know.”
I sucked in a breath, knowing he was joking. His immediate yes to those had me feeling ten feet high. “Goodnight, Noah.”
“Night, Em.”
We stood there for an awkward beat. Me half turned, him still watching me, like both of us were waiting to see if the other would change their mind and close the distance.
I chickened out first, ducking into my room and shutting the door behind me.
As soon as it clicked closed, I slid down it until I was sitting on the carpet, heart still racing, fingers pressed to my swollen lips.
I’d kissed Noah.
Noah had kissed me.
He’d said he always had feelings for me…and somehow, the world hadn’t ended.
Miles hadn’t burst into flames. The building remained standing.
Sassy nudged my arm, having squeezed in behind me before the door fully shut. I pulled her onto my lap and buried my face in her fur.
“What happened?” I whispered.
She licked my chin, unbothered.
“Yeah,” I said, laughing a little hysterically. “Same.”
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. I scrambled up and grabbed it.
Group chat with my siblings and Audrey. I foolishly told them I had to find a last-minute date after I lied, and of course they were fully invested now despite the late hour.
Theo: How was the date?
Daniel: Did he pass the vibe check, or do I have to fight him???
Audrey: Did he own real plates or just paper? This is important!
Penny: Did he have a cool car?
I stared at the screen, thumb hovering. A bubble of laughter and panic rose up at the same time.
Em: He tipped 15% and questioned my job. I might have kissed someone else instead. I am not emotionally available for follow-up questions at this time.
Three dots appeared and disappeared from two different names.
Theo:…Noah?
Daniel: IF YOU DON’T MEAN NOAH DELETE THIS MESSAGE RIGHT NOW
Audrey: I am screaming into a pillow. Screaming.
Penny: You slut!
My face flamed so hard I was surprised the room didn’t light up.
Em: I’m going to sleep before I combust.
Em: Will debrief tomorrow.
Em: Don’t text me 900 times, I have meetings.
Theo: proud of you / also terrified for you / also proud
Daniel: CONGRATULATIONS ON FINALLY KISSING YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND
Penny: Noah Abbott is HOT AF
Theo: Penny, stop it. No.
Daniel: But she’s right, Theo. Let the girl live.
Penny: I’m almost sixteen, Theo. I like boys.
Theo: ENOUGH. STOP IT.
Audrey: Theo, we’ll remove you from the chat if you can’t handle it. Em, drink water, take ibuprofen, don’t overthink it (lol you will)
They weren’t wrong.
I set the phone down, flipped off the light, and crawled into bed. Sassy curled against my legs with a contented little sigh.
In the dark, the condo was quiet. I could hear the distant murmur of the TV in the living room, then the soft click as it switched off. Footsteps padded down the hall. A pause outside my door.
For a second, I held my breath, wondering if he’d knock.
He didn’t.
Somehow, that felt like the right call. We’d already done enough for one night.
I rolled onto my side, staring at the faint glow of the streetlight sneaking through the blinds.
Tomorrow, everything could fall apart.
Tomorrow, we could talk and realize the timing was wrong.
Tomorrow, I could decide this was too risky.
But tonight?
Tonight, I let myself smile into my pillow and replay that first wild, messy, perfect kiss. And for the first time in a very long time, the future didn’t look terrifying. It looked a little bit like hope.