Chapter 5 #2
Quinn clears her throat. “Come on, guys. Let’s call it a night.”
Raymond tugs on my backpack strap.
I shoulder past Landon and leave him standing there, not caring enough to look back and see if he’s leaving with us.
And shove down the tiny ball of guilt burning in the pit of my stomach.
“What if it rains?”
“People can still run in the rain.” I tear my eyes from my laptop and swing my gaze to Evan. “You think I need a rain date this year?”
He hikes a shoulder. “More people equals more money. I think you’ll have a better turnout if it isn’t raining.”
Every year since my father passed, I organize a 5k in town to raise money for cancer prevention.
April is Early Detection Month, but you never know what kind of weather you’ll get here in New Jersey.
One Spring day, it’s hot as hell, and the next you’re breaking your winter jacket back out of the closet.
I roll my eyes. “People won’t melt if they get a little wet while they’re running.”
“Or walking.” Ivori raises her hand. “You’re one of the only ones who treats this event like an Olympic triathlon.”
Even grunts like he agrees.
“Whatever.” I close my laptop and dig my fingers into my eyes. “A little competition never killed anyone.”
“Oh, I forgot to show you.” Ivori unlocks her phone and slides it toward me. “The shirts came in yesterday.”
I sit up and snatch her phone off the table. “Wow, these look even better than they did on the website.”
This year, we added a second shirt design for people to choose from, which includes a space for them to write the name of the person they’re running for.
Ivori leans over and digs into her backpack on the floor beside her chair. “And I brought yours.”
I gasp as she hands it to me, and I unfold it. My father’s name is printed across the back of the white cotton in bold, black letters.
I’m running for: ROBERT MORGAN
Grief clutches my heart.
“This is perfect.”
Evan reaches out and nudges my shoulder. “He’d be so proud of you for doing all this.”
Yeah, he would be. He was proud of me for anything and everything I did, no matter how big or small the accomplishment was.
On instinct, my eyes drift to the pictures of him on the wall.
As much as I love organizing this fundraiser, it’s another reminder that my father was taken from me too soon. Normally, I can busy myself with work and lacrosse to keep the sadness at bay. But there’s no escaping it with April on the horizon.
“You decide whether you’re going to put the house up?” Evan asks.
“Not yet.” I clear my throat and fold the T-shirt, laying it in my lap. “Okay, I think we’re done for tonight. We have the shirts, the permits, the sponsors...am I forgetting anything?”
Ivori takes the hint and pushes out of her chair. “Nope. You’re on top of everything, as usual.” She smacks Evan’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s head out.”
He stares at me for a beat longer before he rises from the chair. “See you tomorrow, kiddo.”
I smile at the ridiculous nickname he gave me back in high school. “Thanks for your help, big bro.”
I give Ivori’s hand a squeeze as I walk them out to the porch, a silent thank you for stopping the house conversation in its tracks.
She shoots me a wink, and I watch as they head for their cars before closing the door.
I don’t know how I would’ve survived without those two. They became my family after I lost mine.
Landon’s face flashes in my head, and it’s like an unexpected physical blow to my chest. I’ve gone over a decade without thinking about him, but now that he’s back in my life, he’s been creeping into my mind, drudging up the past with him.
Especially at night when I have nothing left to distract myself with. The jerk is wrecking my sleep schedule.
It’s pointless to wash up and lie in bed when all I’m going to do is toss and turn.
So, I shove my feet into my sneakers and trudge next door.
Bernard rocks back from his chair on the porch as he appraises me. “You look like shit, kid.”
I huff out a laugh. “As if you look any better.”
Buddy waits for me by the empty rocking chair, his tail thumping a mile a minute. I crouch down on the porch beside him, and bury my face in his flurry golden fur. No one hugs you better than a dog.
“I tried that green crap you made me.” Bernard scrunches his nose. “It didn’t taste half bad.”
“That’s a high compliment coming from you.” I arch a brow as I scratch behind Buddy’s ears. “And that crap is called brussel sprouts.”
“Well, I liked it,” he mumbles.
“Good. I’ve got another meal coming your way tomorrow. I just didn’t have time to cook tonight.”
“You’ve got a lot going on between work, practice, and the fundraiser. You don’t have to worry about an old man like me.”
I scoot myself up into the rocking chair, and Buddy lays on top of my feet. “Who else is going to get your stubborn ass to eat your vegetables?”
He lets out a raspy chuckle. “You get old, and it feels like the rest of the world forgets about you. Life goes on, but it’s like you’re stuck in the same place.” He pauses, turning his blue eyes to look at me. “You never forget about me though.”
Emotion bubbles to the surface, but I try to swallow it down. “You’re in bad shape if I’m your only friend.”
“You’re the best kind of friend an old man could ever hope for, kid.”
His sincerity is rare, and it catches me off guard. Tears blur my vision, and I’m grateful for the dim light on his porch. I avert my eyes and busy my hands with stroking Buddy’s head.
I know all too well how lonely it gets in Bernard’s house.
It’s just as empty in mine.
Bernard forces me to look into the future, my future. No one but a dog to keep me company. It scares me down to my core.
But letting someone in and suffering from the pain when they leave is worse. I’d rather be alone because I choose to be. It’s easier when I’m in control.
“Got any The Price is Right reruns we can watch?” I ask.
Bernard chuckles as he pushes out of his rocking chair. “Only if you’ll let me have some ice cream while we do.”
I nod. “I’ll allow it.”